(we are given a shot of the arena, empty with the Cell towering over the ring. Sam, SHIVA the destroyer, HiD and Tulu Marduk are gaxing up at it.)
Sam: I dunno...It doesn't look sturdy to me...
Shiva *with his GWW Tv title on his shoulder*: Come on Sam! My sister's husband is the owner of the company! It's got my guarantee! It's as fine a product as India can produce!
Tulu: Oh yeah...India's just FAMOUS for their architecture! All those huts blowing away in Monsoon season. The lack of indoor plumbing. Yup..that the ethnic group I want building MY steel cell...
Shiva: Aren't your people desert nomads?
Tulu: Better then living in a pup tent with my 8 brothers and Dear grandpa the cud sucker!
Shiva: You sunva...
Sam: BOYS! BOYS! Calm down! The cage looks sturdy to me...
hiD: RARRRRGH! RRRR!
Sam: *pats HUNTER's head* Yeah...you just HATE cages, huh?
Tulu: Why shouldn't he? When you first got him you locked him in one and jabbed him with sticks...
Sam: shhhh!
Tulu: I still think it's gonna fall apart.
Shiva: I think you're an idiot!
Sam: If there was only a way to test the cage...without any important employees getting hurt.
Shiva: What you need is someone expendable...
*Tulu and Sam look at each other and grin...*
Sam: get in the ring Shiva...
Shiva: NO WAY! I may be naive...but i'm no idiot! Besides you need to simulate action. Only other wrestler here is Tulu...and HiD
Tulu: i'm not going in there...
HiD: RARRRR!
Sam: we need to put this under the highest possible stress imaginable. Which means getting someone in there with HiD...
Shiva: You'd have to get the stupidest human alive to do that...
*Jorge Janos walks up.*
Jorge: Hola mes compadres!
All: HI JORGE!!!
Tulu: Hey Jorge...wanna do us a favor?
Jorge: Se labra quiénes son usted y porqué su pelo tan estúpido?
TulU: HEY! I know what estupido means!!!
Sam: *As Shiva holds back Tulu* Jorge...how you would like an extra nickle to send back to your family this month? You can buy an awful lot of...whatever you immigrants eat!
Jorge: ....nee...kill?
Sam: Yup! And all you have to do is stand in the ring...
Jorge: No entiendo inglés...
Sam: yeah, yeah...I know you're dumber than a bag full of dirt...but GO...STAND...IN...THE...RING!
Jorge: Ring. Jorge wear no ring!
Sam: Arrgh! Look you want immigration to come get you?
Jorge: Eemigration? NO! No eemigrate! no eemigrate!
Sam: Then go in the ring...*Sam points.*
Jorge: Si! THAT ring...
*Jorge stands in the middle of the ring...*
Sam: HUNTER....FETCH!
hiD: RARRRR! *bounds into the ring and starts gnawing of Jorge's leg!*
Jorge: En no! Es el werewolf con los dientes pointy sostenidos y los colmillos largos. No me desmiembre para mí son piel y huesos. También tengo una erupción de piel horrible. Usted no desea comerla!
Sam: *into a walkie talkie* Lower it!
CREAK.....!
HiD: Stops chewing and notices he's trapped. Rrrr? Rrrr? Whine! RARRRARARRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
Jorge: Téngame de largo preguntaba la existencia de un supremo. Ahora sé que ningún allí no es ningún dios.
*A horrid scene of violence occurs.*
Sam: Well...the cage is holding up pretty well after all!
Shiva: Shouldn't we help him?
Sam: Why? I can just cruise around the border and wave a sack of pennies and have my pick of someone new. All this talk of illegal aliens makes me hungry! let's get some tacos!
HID: ARRRRRGH! RARARRRRR! ARRRRRRRR! SNARL! REND! TEAR! SLASH!
Jorge: Lo único que deseé debía beber el agua sin los parásitos, tiene la plomería de interior y un cuarto sin los roedores y los escarchos de llamarme para poseer! Por qué debo sufrir tan?
*fade out*
(Now we get a big pyro explosion and the theme song for the FWo starts up. We are given clips from the last two cards. then a clip of HiD barfing in a stroller. A clip of
Uncle Sam posing for a picture with the leader of the Contras. Talbot writing a paper. Sam laughing as an orphange is closed and turned into a erotic dance club. HiD Ruining the set of Emeril Live! and dancing (as much as a werewolf Can dance...) in a plate
of Creole Shrimp while Blackthorne and Kevin Hunter hide their faces in alternating shame and digust.)
(Now we are at the Target center. Fans are going nuts. Camera zooms in on various signs such as, "I AM Hoffa!, "Why the (*&*(( does the lineup for the ToH change every damn week?, "Sam you SOB...where's my money: Lee Iacocca!," and, "Legalize Crank!" Now we are whisked back to our Weds. broadcast crew of Sam, Talbot and the always unpredictable HUNTER IN DARKNESS!
Sam:HEY HEY! It's time once again for the most unpredictable show on TV! Four Great matches tonight...including a HELL IN THE CELL match! My skins crawling and my nipples would lactate if they could for this great action packed wrestling fest we have planned tonight!
hiD: *chewing on his head set.* slobber noises! ARRRFGH! CHOMP! CHOMP!
Sam: NO! If I wanted an idiot doing commentary...I'd have Jorge out here! GIVE!
(Sam points at Jorge, who has a female commentator with him tonight. She is wearing a long Spanish dress and has her black hair put up in a bun. She'll has a fan and lots of pale make-up on her face. Everytime Jorge looks or even talks at her, she cracks him with her fan.)
HID: RARRRRRR!
talbot: *sigh* Our first match up tonight pits Nina Larue against Eric Williams. What is this..."Incredible title he speaks of?"
Sam: No Idea. But speaking of titles....the CF tourney starts THIS Weds!
Announcer; This next match is for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, from Hartford, Connecticut, here is "The Natural" Eric Williams!
(Eric comes out to a good reaction. he slaps a fan five, and poses in front of the camera. One fans holds a sign reading, "Natural+dress=Goldust!"
talbot: It's the first singles match for both these competitors! Which one will walk away victorious though?
HiD: SNARL! CHEW!
Sam: AHHHH! Our feed to Canada! LOST!!! LOST!! BAD!
HID: ARRRRRRRR!
Sam: I mean...ah, it's just Canada. Who cares? Please don't eat me...
Announcer: His opponent, from Beverly Hills, Ca...and accompanied by Tiffany Lane, here is "The Goddess" Nina Larue!
Talbot: Now...is she a pagan..or just an egotist?
Sam: who Cares? RRRWWWOOOWWWRRR!
HID: ARRRRRR!
Sam: AHHH! No! I'm not a cat! NOT A CAT!
(Entrance: As "Sexy MF" by Prince plays, Nina Larue comes out, wearing a black, sexy sports bra, black tights, matching bots and kicking pads, along with Tiffany Lane, who wears a slinky, black mini dress and heels an she carries the ominous, black purse! Of course they receive the usual catcalls and whistles. Tiffany flirts with Uncle Sam and mentions a raise. Nina slaps a few fans hands while Tiffany ignores them completely.)
talbot: She's old enough to be your daughter!
Sam: HEY! I'm everyone's father! I'm Uncle Sam! America baby!
Talbot: Both competitors are in the ring. Eric has 9 inches on Nina. Can skill overcome power? We'll find out right now!
Sam: Lock up! Nina with a go behind into a hammerlock. Elbow to the chest by Eric. Snap mare takedown and a kick to the back of the neck! Eric with a pick up and a scoop slam and then an elbow drop! Sloppy cover! Not even a two count! Eric gets Nina to her feet and whips her into the ropes. Nina bounces off with a flying forearm. Eric to his feet, but Nina with a side thrust kick and then a knifedge chop to the throat. head scissors takdown into a neck scissors! Tiff gets up on the apron and blows the ref a kiss. While ref is distracted, Nina grabs the ropes for extra leverage! Ref turns around and sees the cheat! Nina let the hold up! Eric to his feet and Nina with an armdrag takedown into an armbar! Eric powers out and gets to her feet! Nina goes for a savate kick, but Eric grabs the leg! Nina goes for an enziguri, but Eric grabs that leg too, and hits her with a giant swing! Nina hits the mat hard! Eric with a grab of the hair and then a knee right to her jaw. Another. Body slam and then Eric with a reverse chinlock! Tiff gets on the apron! ref yells at her, and while the ref looks at Ms. Lane amble...face, she kicks some kind of bottle to nina.
talbot: Nina unscrews the bottle and splashes liquir in Eric's eyes! he releases the hold and screams. Hey! it's tabasco! OUCH! Nina gets up and stomps Williams repeatedly in the head. Ref turns around to see Nina hit a snap suplex of the much bigger man, and then LaRue goes for a cover after a snap legdrop! 2 count! Nina goes up top! Eric staggers around blinded! Sunset Flip from up high! 1...2...thr...kickout! Nina with a dropkick and Eric reels! Nina mounts the top rope again! High cross body..but Eric somehow catches her! fallaway slam! Eric wipes his eyes as Nina gets back up! Nina with a lariat, but Eric ducks and Nina goes over the top to the floor! Eric to the floor. Nina to her feet, but Eric rakes her face and then hits her with a series of fists! he kicks away the padding on the floor...DEAR GOD! he just bodyslammed the woman on hard concrete! he goes to pick her up, but Tiffany Lane pulls a brick from her purse and smashes it over Eric's head! Lane rolls Nina back in as the ref counts! Will Eric get back in in time? 5...6...7...8...he's to his feet! Nina with an Asai moonsault breaking the count! She rolls Eric back in!
Sam: She's up top again! Frog splash...but Eric sits up and Nina hits the mat! Eric is to his feet! Picks up Nina by the hair..and a verical Suplex! Eric with a scoop slam and then a fist drop! he whips her into the ropes and catches her on the rebound with a power slam! 1..2....kickout! Eric with an elbow between the eyes and then an inverted atomic drop! Pick up and...NATURAL TALENT! It's over! 1...2...thre...Tiffany just put Nina's foot on the bottom rope! Eric is up and starts yelling at Ms. Lane. Tiffany pretends to ignore him..and grabs Eric belt! Eric is pissed. Ref's trying to keep Eric in the ring! Keep your eye on the match!Nina from behind with a low blow on The Natural! She turns him around and... NINA'S KNOCKOUT! 1...2....3!!!! WOW!
Announcer: here is your winner....NINA LARUE!
(Fans cheer. Some boos her for cheating like Sam on his tax return though.)
Sam: HEY! Tiff just pocketed Eric's homemade title! And they're heading for the back!
(suddenly, "Wipeout" by Surfaris starts playing over the arena. River and Sean come out in wetsuits and confront the Babe Squad about "chickening outof the handicapped match." Both teams get hot & heavy... but only with words. River says something that makes Tiffany Turn bright red and the two surfers turn around laughing.)
Talbot: You idiots...don't turn your backs to those two vixens!
Sam! OW! Double low blow by the Bab...huh? The girls are holding their wrists! What are the Surfers wearing? Nuts cups o' steel? River And Sean each grab a babe and...WHAM! DDTS!
Talbot: the new female Spanish announcer is getting up. She takes off her high heels...and starts cracking The babe's with them! HEY! I bet that's Bonnie under all that! Now they've picked up Nina and are heading to the back! What the hell?
(Camera follows the two who head straight fot the SC RV, which takes off from the arena.)
Sam: Okay...aren't those two supposed to be the good guys??? Last time I checked, "Kidnapping" wasn;t in the Good guy handbook.
HID: ARRRRRRR!
Sam:Oh shut up. Your breath smells like dead rodents...
Talbot: And now...it's time for a commercial!
********************************************
("Star and Stripes forver" plays in the background. Suddenly UNCLE SAM Walks out.)
sam: My fellow Americans...once again it is time to pick your next President of the United States. Look at the Canidates we have so far! Liddy Dole? Who wants a chick in the White house? Dan Quayle? P-o-t-a-t-o! 'Nuff Said! Pat Buchanan? We might as well get swastika's tatooed onto our heads! Lamar Alexander? BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So who's left? Bob Dole? Who wants some tree hugging android for president? Not me! Bill bradley? What the hell has he ever done for America! No...as the Incarnation of America...I see we need a REAL leader! Someone more intelligent and charismatic that all these idiots combined! We need a man who can truly make America great! We need a president who EVERYONE can get behind! People of America...I give you that man! Our Next President: THE HUNTER IN DARKNESS!
(Hid is shoved out by a bunch of men in medevil armour whoi quickly run away.)
Hid: HACK *hairball pops out*
Sam: BEHOLD the next leader of this great nation! Everyone loves him! You want a president that stands for strong government? Who's stronger then a werewolf? You want a President who's tough on crime? He'll EAT crime! You want an enviromental president? he used to live in the woods? How much more enviromental can you get? You want a president who's NOT enviromental? Smell his crap! That's gotta be SOME kind of toxic waste! You want a president who's open to other nations? he's from England! We can annex those blokes! You want a president who's tough on other countries! Stick him in a ring with Saddam...who do YOu think will walk away with the ability to breath without an iron lung? You want a president who's for abortion? If he could...he'd eat his own young! You want a president that's against abortion? he's the only member of his race! Why would HE believe in birth control??? You want a president who's knowledgable on economic matters? he's lived with me! learn by osmosis baby! You want a president who won't smoke pot or have affairs? he's your man! You want a president who will stick up for minorities? He's one himself! You want a president who's against Affirmative action? Hell, he probably doesn't know what it means! You want a president who'll make America the #1 country in the world...vote HUNTER IN DARKNESS...THE LEADER WE ALL WANT!
HID: *sniffs Sam's butt* GRRRR!
Sam: AHH! NO!
*fade out*
*************************************************************
Talbot: Dear God...you're pushing HIM for leader of this country?
HID: RRRRRRR?
Sam: Yup! Best damn canidate out there! i can't WAIT for the debates!
Announcer: This next match is for one fall and is a tag team contest! Coming to the ring first, here are Myth and Morg...The Citizens of the Underworld!
(No real reaction at all. Both men come out to "Supercharge heaven" by White Zombie and make Scary faces. yay.)
Sam: When's the last time we heard from these guys anyways?
Talbot: We've got a handicapped match now! it WAS supposed to be Remorse and Misery against these two, but as usual..right before the card, the Idiot express decided to change who sides with who. So Remorse is no longer with Misery and heresy. You'd think these bloody twits could get something decided and stay with it...
Announcer: and their opponent...from parts unknown...here is MISERY!
(Loud boos. A chant of "Go Away!" starts up. "Sober" by tool plays as Misery enters the ring.)
Sam: Yup....This'll really get the ratings cranked up there.
Talbot: There's the bell! Both COW's attack Misery together! Misery is pummeled to the mat by the gruesome twosome! Pick up and a double hot shot on the top rope! Morg with a spinebuster as Myth drops a knee from the second turnbuckle. Double slingshot suplex and ref finally orders Myth to his corner. Morg with a belly to belly suplex and then he bounces off the ropes and lands on Misery with a lionsault! 2 count! Morg picks up Misery and tags in Myth. Myth with a drop toe hold as Morg hits a baseball slide. Double elbow drop on the spine and Morg goes to the corner. Myth with a boot to Miserys face and then an irish whip into the neutral corner! avalanche! Cover! 2 count again! Myth drives his head repeatedly into Misery and then piledrives him to the canvas!
Sam: Morg is tagged back in. Myth sticks Misery on his shoulder and Morg comes off the top with a spinning heel kick! 1..2....Myth picks up Misery! They're not done yet! Myth tags in Morg. Both men go to the top rope! Misery is to his feet! Morg off the top with a Hurrnacurrana and them Myth with a gullotine legdrop! it's THE PLAGUE! 1...2...3!!! Misery is as good as dead!
Announcer: here are your winners...the Citizens of the Underworld!
(no one really has a reaction.)
Sam: Y'know...I bet if the lineup of these chuckleheads stayed the same for more then a day, and they stopped fighting amongst themselves and paid attention to the matches they were scheduled for...they might do something!
talbot: Now Now...you hired them!
sam: Don't remind me! But now here's something you ALL should be reminded about!
***************************************************
(We're in a board room. Some guy in a brown suit and a laser pointer if giving a lecture about a company growth-yield ration for this quarter. Everyone looks like they're falling asleep.)
Speaker: And so we see, that by cutting costs in these three departements, we can both triple out output and...
(Suddenly the doors burst open and GWAR comes in!)
Businesswoman: OH MY GAWD?
Oderous: It's time....TO PARTY...FREAK STYLE!
(Gwar starts playing circus music heavy metal style.All sorts of oddities eneter. A beared woman. Siamese twin Midget mexican transvestites, A tattooed lady, A man with hair all over his body and a guy with thumbtacks in every pore! They start grabbing various business people and making out with them.)
Speaker: My....God! It....it's a CIRCUS FREAK ORGIE!
Voice (as make out session from the land of Jim Rose continues): That's right! A TOTALLLy NAKED Circus freak orgie! *Everyone's clothes disapear and various nasty bits are blurred)
Voice: Two days sick twisted obscene mayhem that can oly be shown on PAY-PER-VIEW! Even then, it's only because Uncle sam paid off the FCC! You want freaks by the bucketload? You want wrestling excitement? You want to witness an orgie even porn stars would wince at? Then order the FWO's "TOTALLY NAKED CIRCUS FREAK ORGIE TODAY!" if you're not 21+, then yell, scream and hold your breath until you turn gay to make your parents order it! Remember kids, if your parents don't let you watch Circus Freaks get it on while the Superstars of the FWO kicks each other's asses in...then you'll be the mockery of the playground and no one will ever be your friend again! TOTALLY NAKED CIRCUS FREAK ORGIE! GET IT....TODAY!
Another Voice, quicker and quieter: TheFWO'sTotallyNakedCircusFreakOrgiewillnotactuallyhaveexplictsexualencountersbycircusperformers.
(suddenly the door bursts down)
Voice: And did we mention...there'd be real live wild...GRIZZLY BEARS????
(Bears enter and starting mauling buisnessman and Circus freak alike!)
Three-limbed Portuguese midget: Damn you sam! You lied! You...
bears: ARRRRRRRGH!
************************************************************
Sam: And....we are back!
talbot: ........
Sam: Speechless, eh? Can't blame you! That commercial was a masterpiece!
Talbot: ......
sam: Umm....where's HID? He must have taken off during the commercial break!
(Camera cuts to a shot of HiD face down in the hot dog cart, while the vendor lies in a crumpled bloody heap besides it.
HD vendor: My veins....they're hanging out of my arms....I can't feel my legs...
HID: ARRRR! *chomp chomp*
talbot: and that's who you want to lead this country?
Sam: Sure! Why not? he's tough on crime!
talbot: What crime did that man commit?
sam: 3 bucks for a bunch of pig lips! That's a REAL CRIME!
Announcer: this next match is for one fall with a 15 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, along with Vanity...from Milan, France here is Alexandra Parker!
Sam: BOOO! Down with the french! BOOO!
(The Remixed version of "I Will Survive" starts playing as this female tandom comes to the ring. Alexandria is wearing a black one piece body suit with matching shin gaurds.Vanity has her long black hair pinned up and is wearing a black skanky business suit with ample clevege showing and a silver briefcase in her hand. They are being accompanied to the ring by four muscle down women from the National Advancement For Women.)
sam: Great...feminist broads!
talbot: Don't let them hear you call them broads!
Sam: Sorry...feminist chicks!
Announcer; and her opponent, from Parts Unknown...here is GABRIEL!
(Lights dim and "believer" By ozzy Ozborne plays. Gabriel comes out to some boos himself. He however, tends not to notice. he points at Alexandra and then clenches his fist.
talbot: What is it with the onslaught of Morbid wrestlers? hell let some people go or something?
Sam: Gabriel is in the ring! 200 pounds advantage and over a foot taller! This'll be a hard match for Parker to win!
Talbot: Lock up! Gabriel shoves Alexandra into a corner! ref calls for a break, but Gabriel shoves the ref and stomps away at parker's chest. Hip toss out of the corner! Alexandra gets up...but gabriel grabs her by the throat and hangs her int he middle of the ring. Parker kicks and her boot finds the groin of gabriel! he lets go, and Alexandra catches gabriel with a frakenstiener ont he way down! 2 count! gabriel is up, but a dropkick by Parker sends him back down! Parker bounces off the ropes! gabriel is up! Shoulderblock and Gabriel falls through the ropes! parker distracts the ref while the Russian Gymnast covention takes gabriel out! Gabriel is cracked in the head by a chairshot from vanity as the Ladies hold him. They roll Gabriel back in the ring and parker hooks him into a Boston crab! ref checks on gabriel, and while he does, Alexandra gets a little extra leverage from vanity! Gabriel's not tapping out! He reaches out and drags himself across the ring! He's almost to the ropes...but Parker cranks up the damage and gabriel slumps to the mat in pain. ref checks again...still gabriel won't give in!
Sam: Gabriel pushes off the mat with his hands! Where's he getting this strength reserve? With a last ditch effort he kicks Alexandra off and she flies head first into the buckles! Gabriel gets to his feet and limps over to her! Mule kick from parker and then she goes to ram his head into the buckles! Gabriel blocks and then smashes her head in. European uppercut and then the big scary demon boy with a press slam! Parker gets up, but gabriel with a diving clothesline which almost takes her head off! Gabriel ushers out a bellow like I do when I have to watch Masterpiece Theatre! gabriel sets Parker up in the corner and starts punching away at her face and ribs. Gabriel backs up and then drives his shoulder into her rib cage. Death Valley Driver from the Big man! He picks up Alexandra and...THE FALL FROM GRACE! 1...2....3!!! It;s over!
announcer: Here is your winner...GABRIEL!
(Gabriel gets up to a chorus of boos and just walks to the back without a word.)
Sam: Well...I guess that shows an army of chicks ca't help you win all the time!
Talbot: Hold on sam...the production director just told me something Big is going on back stage!
Sam: They told YOU...instead of me????he's FIRED!
Talbot: Let's go to the back!
(Actually...it's not the back...we are inside the Surfer's RV.)
[Nina is tied and gagged inside Bonnie's room, strapped to a chair in front of her vanity. There is a towel on her head. Sean and River are seated on the bed with a notebook in a hand and a pen in the other. Bonnie is up at the front, smiling a little.]
Bonnie: You all may be wondering what like, I am like, doing with this bimbo in my room. Well, as if I would invite her over for like, tea. Actually, I have like, decided to open a school of make-up and like, cosmetics for surfers or something. Hello, they're human beings too...they like, need to know how the most beautiful woman in the fed does make-up and stuff. What if like, I forget my purse or something...like that'll ever, ever happen. Today's like, lesson, the don'ts of cosmetology. Earlier, we went to the bathroom to like, give this little girlie's hair a make-over. Well, we thought of someone to try to make her like, look like, so we like, chose...
Sean: Hold it babe, I chose you mean.
Bonnie: ...right, you like, chose to try to make this little bimbo look like Slammin' JoJo...a definite don't in the field of cosomotology. Let's see how like, turned out...kay?
[Bonnie unwraps the towel to show the hair of the young lady chopped down to her ears and a bright blue. Sean and Bonnie are laughing a little, but River is pretty upset.]
River: What the hell man! I mean like, this babe goes and totally messes up our match and you don't even like, shave that broad bald? Hello, Bonnie, give me those darn razor things and I'll show you what happens when you make us lose.
Sean: Chill dude, just sit and let the babe like, continue or something. This is totally radical.
Bonnie: Don't worry Riv, we'll like, get to the shaving part this Sunday or something. Right now we'll deal with this little girlie. Now this is totally a don't in the like, field of cosmotology. Another thing is like, lipstick is not eyeshadow. It's like, hello boys...please don't get them mixed up...like this...kay?
[She throws a little shampoo in Nina's eyes to close them and she puts on a bright orange lipstick all over her eyelids. Nina is screaming for help, but the door of the RV is locked. Bonnie laughs at the combonation of blue hair and orange lipstick. She than shakes her head at the kind of match. She takes a bright purple lipstick and puts it over the orange. She laughs even harder now. She than grabs a little thing of blush and starts to bat it over the cheek of Nina.]
Bonnie: Now like, class, this is just a little test. After I like, make my in ring debut against that total bimbo who is like, so jealous of me and my everything she can't have, we'll have our final exam or something on the don't's of make-up. Kay? This is where we do the shaving, the permanent color...everything like that. How dare she ruin one of my sweety's matches...and like, you too River. And like, hurting me in the process. That's totally inhumane. Like, PMS to the extreme. I'm sorry, but you've like, pushed me too far. Now this Sunday I'm gonna have to like, hurt you beyond belief.
River: And babe, rest assure that, if not both me and like, Sean, I am gonna make you pay for what you did to us. Babe, you're gonna regret even getting a hot body for getting you into all this trouble...or something.
[Bonnie pulls away from the chair and Nina's whole face is plushed with a yellowish tint. Now she's pretty much crying. Sean and River have enough with her and pick her up with her still tied in the chair. They rolls her out the door of the thing and she lands on her back. As they're about to shut the door, Bonnie throws a bucket of black paint all over her clothes and exposed body.]
(back to the announce table.)
Sam: Oh boy....that's not good.
Talbot: You're telling me! That was horrible! Unforgivable! Her hair! her face!
Sam: My lawsuit!
talbot: They've kidnapped and metally tortured a young lady...and you're afraid you'll be sued!
Sam: Why? Is something else wrong?
Talbot: You digust me!
(suddenly out comes Soloman, his arms draped with Tee-Shirts, his hands filled with Beanie Babies, his pockets overflowing with uninflated balloons and whistles around your neck.
Solomon: Getcha offical FWo souvenier! balloons for the kiddies, tee Shirts for yourself and beanie babies for the lovely ladies! Buy, buy, buy! A satisfied customner every time!
Sam: He reminds me of someone...
Solomon: COME ON PEOPLE! Doesn't anyone want a baloon animal! HEY little girl! i can make you a duckie!
Girl: WAHHHHHHHH!
Talbot: What a yutz!