Raskie: Dah! Should be good. Too techincal/high flyers against each other. Much better than Yeti vs. Leatherface.

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen..this next match is for one fall with a 30 minute time limit. Comign to the ring first, from Portland Oregon... and accompanied by Honey majors...here is the Educational Values Champion Solomon!

(Mixed reaction goes off. Solomon comes out first...with Honey far far behind. Solomon is exceptionally grimy and his sweat stains cover most of his ensemble. Solomon howver seems oblivious to his prolific stench that even the referee is bothered by.)

Rasklonikov: damn. I cans emll him allt he way over here. I haven't smelt somthing that awful since I had to live in a one room house with 8 stangers in my stay at Leningrad tech.

Wilbur: Solomon holds up his title and...in comes Adam not waiting for his intro! While Solomon in on the top rope displaying his title, Agee dropkicks him in the back on the legs and Solomon falls to the mat hard, dropping the title outside to the floor. Bell rings!

Raskie: Solomon gets back to his feet, but is cracked right in the face by some sweet chin music from the Innovator! Solomon stumbles back intot he turnbuckles and as he bounces off them Adam hits an ace crusher (Stone cold stunner to the ignorant.)Adam leaps to the top rope! Somersault legdrop...but Solomon rolls out of the way! Solomon grabs the leg Adam missed with and cranks on some pressure with a spinning toe hold!

Arthur: Adam tries to kick Solomon off but he keeps dodging. Solomon drops a knee to the inside of Adam's legs and keeps the pressure cranked on! Adam reaches out and thumbs Solomon in the eyes. Solomon lets him go and Adam hits solomon with a spinning leg lariat. Adam gets up to his feet and he shakes his leg out.

Wilbur: Solomon is back up and both men lock up. Adam puts on a side headlock! Solomon tries to push him intot he ropes, but Agee flips over Solomon and then hits a combination bellyto back suplex/russian legsweep! Cover! Only a 2 count. Adam with a top wristlock on Solomon! Solomon tries to kick his way free, but Adam side steps and hoists Solomon onto his shoulders! Agee tries for a Death valley driver, but Solomon adjusts his weight to go for a crucifix, but Agee reverses the momentum again and cracks Solomon with a Somoan drop! Adam bounces off the ropes and lionsalts... but Solomon gets his knees up and Adam rolls onto the mat in pain. Jeepers! Neck and neck here folks!

Raskie: Solomon with a backbreaker and then he drops a knee onto Adam's throat while he sits on Adam's chest and starts pounding away with fists! Solomon gets up and whips Adam into the ropes! He hits Adam with a spinning heel kick! Solomon slaps on a reverse chinlock, hands locked together. Adam grunts, but he's in the middle of the ring! No place to go! Solomon stretches out his leg and uses the bottom rope for extra leverage. Adam's face is bright red and ref checks! Adam's arm doesn;t go down at all. Solomon frowns and tightens the hold. Boy oh boy is this, "Will he go down or not" part of the match exciting!

Arthur: Mandy alerts the ref to Solomon's illegal use of the ropes and the ref calls for a break. Solomon frowns and lets Adam go. he picks up Adam and whips him into the ropes! Big back drop, but on the way down, Agee turns it into a sunset flip! 2 count before Solomon drives the heels of his boots into the temples of Agee. Solomon then grabs the legs of Adam and...boston crab! Seems to be a popular move in the EV champ's repitore! Adam pushes Solomon off with with strong legs and Solomon flies throat first into the top rope, stunning him! Adam then gets up, bounces off the ropes, leaps pver Solomon and then Ace crushers him on the top rope! Solomon falls to the mat.

Raskie: Adam goes up top and leaps off with his spinning Frog thinger. it connects and smacks all the air out of Solomon's lungs! 1...2..kickout! Adam whips Solomon into the ropes. On thr bounce Adam catches him and hurtles him into the air for a pancake but on the way down, Adam catches Solomon with a superkick tot he base of the skull! Cover! 1...2...kickout! Both men have a lot of life still in them! Adam picks up Solomon and drapes him over his shoulder. Adam runs with Solomon and drives the champs shoulder into the metal pole of the ring. Adam goes up! 450 splash! 1...2...thr...kickout!

Wilbur: Hey! Shamus and Pallfy have come to ringside! Must be interested in this match for some reason! Honey blows shamus a kiss. Solomon is placed against the buckles. Adam backs up and hits a perfect handspring elbow! Solomon crumples to the mat! Adam picks him up and tries for the Attitude Adjustment...but Pallfy grabs Adam's leg and pulsl it out from under him allowing Solomon to cradle up Agee! 1..2....kickout! Adam gets up, but recieves an elbow to the nose and then a knee breaker. Solomon grabs the leg of Adam and puts it into a grapevine! Shamus must still be upset over his loss to Agee. Agee pounds on the mat, and reaches out trying to get to the ropes. Solomon's smart working on Agee's leg that must still be injured from his match with Shamus!

Raskie: Agee with a thumb to Solomon's eye! He escapes the move, gets to his feet and kicks Solomon right in the face. Picks up Solomon and whips him intot he ropes! Adam leapfrogs over Solomon and then mule kicks him in the no-no Place! Adam goes up top for another Frog splash, but Honey distracts the ref while Shamus pushes him off! Adam lands, knocking the wind out of him and Solomon hooks on an ankle lock submission! Ref is arguing with Shamus because Mady comments about the push...and Honey pushes a box into Solomon!

Arthur: It....it's full of feathers! Solomon pulls one out and starts tickling Adam under the chin with it while he holds the ankle in place! Adam's ticklish! Ref turns around and sees Adam laughing and wincing in pain at the same time. Tickle tickle tickle! Adam's trying to get to the ropes... but they're just out of reach....YES! He gets to them! Ref calls for a break but the EV champ ignores him! Ref counts to five but Solomon still doesn't let go! Ref threatens DQ...but Solomon finally lets up! Then he immediatetly stomps away at Adam's ankle!

Raskie: Now Solomon ties the ankle up in the ropes and kicks away at it. Solomon stomps Adam in the face and then kicks him out of the ring, but with his ankle still tied in the ropes...he's like a pinyata. Now Solomon pulls a pack of cards out of his boots and tries showing the ref a card trick! Outside shamus has a chair...but Mandy jumps on his back and starts clawing at his eyes! Honey pulls Mandy off and sprays mandy in the eyes with some kind of perfume substance! Mandy falls to the mat screaming and clutching her eyes! Shamus picks his chair back up and drives it into the throat of Attitude! It's 4 on 2 here!

Arthur: Solomon finishes his card trick and then baseball slides Adam right in that ankle. Ref tells Solomon to back up...and he unties the ropes for Agee. Agee falls to the concrete floor. Solomon goes up top! Pallfy holds Agee's legs and Solomon drives the point of his elbow deep into the heart of agee out here besides us. Adam is rolled in the ring and Solomon follows! 1..2....thre....Shoulder up! OH WOW! I don't know how..but he got it up!

Raskie: Adam is picked up high...and dropped down with a vertical suplex. Solomon drops a leg and turns it into a neck scissors. Adam's flow of blood is being cut off and he's not moving. Ref checks! Arm drops once. Solomon looks pleased with himself! Arm drops a second time! Once more and Solomon is going to the finals! Arm lifted up...but it stays up! Fans cheer and Adam flexes his arm! He grabs solomon by the hair and starts yanking until the CW lets him go. Both men are too their feet and begin exchanging fists! Adam with a rapid flurry of punches to the guts, but Solomon with a rake to the face and then an axe kick crumples Adam Agee back down to the mat! Solomon grabs Adam's legs and slingshots him into the Neutral corner! Solomon goes over and hoists Adam onto the ropes. Back Suplex From up high! Solomon hooks a leg and 1...2....thre...again Adam kicks out!

Arthur: Mandy's still holding her eyes and we have a medic out here! I think Honey maced her! Solomon puts Adam in the corner and hits him with a series of knifeedge chops. Solomon goes for a hip toss out of the corner...but Adam with a last ditch effort turns it into a tornado DDT! Both men are down and out! Ref counts...but neither gets up! Honey screams at Solomon to get up...but no avail! Adam crawls over to Solomon and drapes an arm on him! 1..2...thre...Solomon reverses it intoi an inside cradle! 1...2...thre...small package reversal by Adam! 1...2.. thr...Solomon grabs the legs and rolls through with Adam! 1...2...thre... Adam With boots to the head and then hooks his arms around Solomon's shoulder... 1...2...thre...kickout! Solomon to his feet but Adam with a high knee lift and then a head scissors take down! Solomon gets back up, but Adam with a dropkick! Again Solomon gets up, but Agee takes him over with a backslide! 1..2....thre...Solomon Kicks Adam in his injured ankle and reverses it! 1..2...kickout!

Wilbur: both men wearing down! Both men up to their feet! Solomon with a kick to the gut and a wristlock! he goes for a short-arm clothesline but Adam reverses into a crucifix! 1..2...the...kickout! Adam gets up, but Solomon with a kick to the injured ankle and then an inverted russian legsweep! Adam is picked up! Solomon goes for The Drawing Board, but Adam reverses it into a Northern Lights bomb! 1..2....thre..shoulder up! Solomon gets to his feet and almost gets his neck broken by a lariat from Attitude! Adam picks up Solomon and...PILEDRIVER!

Raskie: Adam gets up hooks Solomon's left leg with his right arm! He goes for the Attitude Adjustment but His ankle gives out as he tries to throw Solomon, aloowing solomon to land on his feet, grab Adam's arm and pin him with a La Mahistral Cradle! 1...2....3!!!! Better then Russian women bodybuilding contest!

Announcer: here is your winner....Solomon!

(The Educational Values Champion slides out of the ring, grabs his title, hugs Honey Majors and both jet out of there so he can rest up for his match against Kan...you know who. Adam tries to get to his feet, but his ankle's just too weak. Shamus and Pallfy look at each other, then look at matt's watch and beat the hell out of the arena.)

Arthur: Where are they going?

Wilbur: This stinks! Adam had Solomon beat five ways from Tuesday! At least he's getting a shot at the world title! Adam's by far the best wrestler in the FWO. Solomon gets by with outside help and cheating!

Raskie: HELLO! It be the 90's Capitalist bourgeous scum! EVERYONE cheats!
********************************************************************

Wilbur Fields: And now, sadly ... here are the special announcers... JoJo and Ferret.

("Intergalactic" bursts over the P.A. system as JoJo walks out, followed by Murphy. JoJo goes over to fan who has a sign "Adam Agee is God". He rips the sign out of the fans hand, then pretends to piss on it. Murphy finds a fan with a cheese Dog, takes it, and eats it. They then come tot he announcer's both.)

Wilbur Fields: Umm where is the "Hardcore Jester"?

Slammin' JoJo: You mean Cyber fight champion!, he has better things to do then come out here and announce some lame tazer on a pole match, so we get everyone's favorite fat ass, Paul Murphy.

Paul Murphy: Not amused!

Wilbur Fields: Let's go to the ring announcer.

Announcer: At this time, he is one of the of the FWO's wrestlers.. and that's about it, here is Tanker!

("Bring Your Whole Crew" by DMX plays as Tanker comes out down the aisle way, suddenly Pimp jumps out from the crowd. Tanker doesn't realize it because he's telling the camera man why he's the greatest. BOOM! A Super Kick to the back of the head on Tanker.)

Slammin' JoJo: Dear God ... that jabrone just killed that other jabrone with that kick, of course that's nothing compared to my wrestling skills.

Wilbur Fields: Yes you do know how to wrestle ... surprisingly.

(Pimp pulls Tanker in the ring, runs to the corner were the Tazer is hanging from a pole, he begins climbing it, allowing Tanker to get up. Pimp has the Tazer, but Tanker gets to him before he can turnaround. Tanker picks him up on his shoulders, but Pimp reverses it into hurnicarana! the tazer goes sliding out of the ring.)

Slammin' JoJo: You know something, which Pimp is this anyway? W got "The Pimp" and The "Notorious P.I.M.P."?

Wilbur Fields: Notorious.

Slammin' JoJo: Still a Jabrone.

(Pimp picks up Tanker, and nails him with a nasty BrainBuster, it looks like Tanker's neck was snapped back to far. Pimp then goes looking for the Tazer. he climbs out of the ring, and finds it near the stairs. Pimp climbs back into the ring, and begins shocking the hell out of Tanker!)

Slammin' JoJo: I smell fried jabrone!

Paul Murphy: I better go get my dinner plate, cause that guy is being roasted to a crisp!

(Pimp sits there laughing while he continues shocking Tanker)

Wilbur Fields: JoJo won't you go down there and do something! The guys almost dead! HELP HIM! HELP!

Slammin' JoJo: Fine Fine, I'll go end this! I better not get fined for interfering in the match.

(JoJo gets up to the ring, as the fans boo him. He grabs the referee and tells him to leave the ring. The ref looks puzzled, but obeys JoJo's orders. JoJo taps Pimp on the shoulder. Pimp looks at JoJo like he's nuts, and tries to shock JoJo with the Tazer. While JoJo and PIMP fight over the tazer, FERRET comes running down, pick up the limb body of Tanker and nails him with a Jabrone Killer!)

Wilbur: What the Hell!

Paul Murphy: GO FERRET! GO FERRET! it'd your birthday... Go Ferret!

Wilbur: Get the Paramedics down here now! Tanker is not even breathing!

(Paramedics come down, and drag Tanker out of the ring. Pimp is still trying to shock JoJo, Ferret calls for the microphone.)

Ferret: Ha! I love taking out spoots! (crowd boos) Now Mr. Pimp, leave your soon to be FWO champ alone, and leave the ring! Nothing personal ... just business. Oh and by the way, your the winner of this match by total ass kicking.

(Pimp smiles, and leaves the ring, taking the Tazer with him. JoJo tells Ferret to come with him back to the announcer's both.)

Wilbur: I told you to stop that torture!

Slammin' JoJo: I did, I had my buddy here beat that jabrone up, so he'll never have to go through that kind of torture again. A moment of silence for Tanker.... Ahh screw it. Our job is done here. Oh and Wilbur, see ya next week, ya jabrone!

(The JoJo, Ferret, and Murphy leave the announcers table.)

Wilbur: Idiots.
*****************************************************

Arthur: Well my friends, let's put the sheer stupidity that was JoJo and his crew behind us. It's time for the SMDW title match. We have a camera crew set up a few miles away at the Graceland Cemetary. Let's go there now.

(We are swtiched over to this new camera crew. We are shown a graveyard. There is a Workshed, tombs and tombstones of varying shapes and designs. In the middle of the graveyard are two freshly dug graves, six feet deep. Along side each grave is a coffin, One with BT's logo...the other with the logo of Rob Ian. Rob Ian is visible standing by the Crusader grave of Victor Lawson. In his hands he holds a portable Mike. BT is nowhere to be seen.

Rob: Blackthorne, in a few minutes, me and you will face on head to head for the first time. And I plan on leaving the champion. But I know it will be a great fight and you know sometimes I wish both wrestlers could win when they deserve to. But that's just not the way it works. So let the war begin!

Arthur: Where the bloody hell is BT?

(Just as Arthur shuts his big yap, a projectile ushers forth from the Hirsh Masoleum. It explodes and releases a great deal of smoke. ROb chokes on the mist. It starts to clear enough that we can see BT standing behind rob, wearing an "UNcle Sam's Musical Jug Band" Tee shirt. There's a big red circle around the face of Honey blowing on a moonshine jug while HiD dances around.)

Wilbur: Bt spins Rob around and DDT's him right on the cold hard ground! BT grabs Rob by the head and smashes him into the statue. ROb with a mule kick stuns BT and then rob scoop slams him onto the earthen floor.Rob with a head butt and then he whips BT into the Gothic Monument. BT turns around and Rob with a clothesline sending the back of BT's head into the tomb, busting him open. ROb with a side headlock, but BT wraps his arms around Rob's waist and back suplex's him onto the ground! Ouch! BT walks back over to the masoleum he was hiding in, and he pulls out a shovel. Rob gets to his feet, and BT breaks it over his forehead! Blackthorne grabs the wooden shaft that remains and smashes it repeatedly across the back of rob. Both men are already bleeding! Blackthorne picks the challenger up and Press slam's Rob into the lake! BT walks into the lake to get Rob, but Rob hurtles a handful of mud into the eyes of Blackthorne! BT is dazed and Ian spears him into the water and starts driving Blackthorne's face repeatedly into the muddy basin! Rob drops an elbow into the middle of BT's back and then drags him out of the water.

Raskolnikov: Rob kicks BT inot he face and then whips him into the door of the tool shed. Champion is down on the ground! Rob staggers into the tool shed and brings out a baseball bat covered in barb wire. Looks like Rob brought along a little something extra. He picks BT up and puts him into a Stiener recliner, but uses that bat as a choking device. The barb wire cuts intot he champion's throat, but BT gets an arm free and snap mares Rob to the ground. BT holds his throat, that starts stomping on Rob. Now Blackthorne has the baseball bat and he smashes it into Rob's ribs. Pick up by Blackthorne and a scoop slam onto the baseball bat. Ouch! BT picks up Rob, drapes him over his shoulder...runs, then powerslams Ian onto the tomb/rock of Daniel Burnham! BT picks up Rob, who's juicing more than that piece of capitalist crap I bought off QVS and inverted atomic drops him, followed by a side spinning cresent kick to the temple! BT drags Rob towards the coffin. BT tries to place Rob in the coffin, but rob with a fist right to the throat, staggering BT! Rob hooks BT and then... NUTSHELL DDT!

Arthur: Both men are down and bleeding profusely from the head. BT coughs up a bit of mud. Rob staggers over and hooks the leg of Blackthorne...but you can't win by pinfall here! Rob rolls off BT and it's just going to be a matter of who gets to their feet first. What's that! A car just pulled into the graveyard! What the hell! This is roped off from the general public for the night! It's Shamus and Pallfy! What are they doing here? They grab shovels from the tool shed and are walking over to rob. Shamus holds up Rob in a full nelson and Pallfy drives the shovel into Rob's ribs! Again! Again! ROb spits up some blood...but he's too weak to defend himself! Now Pallfy breaks the shovel over Rob's knee and Shamus puts him in the Four leaf clover! BT is to his feet and Pallfy offers him his hand in friendship! BT accepts...then smacks Matt with a short-arm clothesline! Shmu's back is to thw whole scence he can't see it! BT staggers over and taps Shamus on the shoulder! Shamus turns around...and gets a face full of MUTA Mist! Shamus is blinded and BT jumps on top of him, attacking the man who came to help him! Rob is on the ground hurt! Pallfy grabs a rock and cracks BT in the back with it. Now both men are double teaming the SMDW champion! Rob ian with a clip to Shamus's knee and now it's become a texas tornado tag match in a graveyard!

Raskolnikov: But BT and Rob are too weak, while shamus and Pallfy are fresh. They beat both men to the ground and then stomp of Ian's knee some more. Shamus and Pallfy drag ROb to the grave and then push him into it! Rob falls 6 feet intot he earth! Now they do the same with the unconcious SMDW champ! Now the Irish wonder and Matt drive off into the night!

Arthur: I guess this match is a no-contest...but both BT and ROB gave it their all. You can bet they'll be looking for revenge!

(Camera fades out and we return to the Rosemont Horizon where UNCLE SAM has joined the broadcast team. )

Sam: Well...that just stinks like a vomitorium in ancient Roman times. But I'm not here to condemn the brutal beating given to our SMDW combatants... I'm here to watch the finals of the CF tourney...and to announce who the wild card tag team is at the PPV. We just watched one of them tonight in the Graveyard match. I'm talking about Rob Ian. However...his partner i am glad to say will probably double the draw of the PPV. Rob Ian's partner will be none other than my best friend in the world and the greatest wrestle of all time.... DARQUEFYR!

(Crowd goes f'n nuts!)

Arthur: No Bloody way!

Sam: Yup. Darquefyr is 100% confirmed and will be at the Totally Naked Circus freak orgie! I Guarantee it.

Raskolnikov: This isn't some phoney baloney capitalist ploy to convince people that someone who hates your guts will be at the card when it's actually some poseur?

Sam: I...I'm shocked!I can;t believe you would question MY Honesty! The man who signs your paychecks! The man who lets kidswake up every morning and get their daily dose of jagged glass! If Darquefyr isn't wrestling at the PPV...I'll...I'll take HiD out to the ballet!

Wilbur: WOW! What a revelation! Darquefyr makes his return to wrestling at the PPV! All eyes will be on that! I'm sure we'll have quite a few stars watching this development very closely..especially Bobbie.

(Just then...the lights go out and a bunch of pyro explodes)

Sam: yeah baby! It's time to earn our 6.5 rating for the night!

announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...this next match is for one fall and there MUST be a winner. Coming to the ring first, from Death valley, CA and accompanied by Paul Barber...here is THE BIG RED RETARDED DEMENTED DENTIST TRUCKER! (Fans go nuts as chub-chub leads his son to the ring. BRRDDT's head is looking down at the ground. BRRDDT steps over the top rope and pulls at his glove. Then he flicks his hair around...and Jorge's toupee starts on fire.)

Sam: Oooh...he's a big guy. And I was hoping his cute girl singers would be here with him. *pout*

Announcer: And His opponent, from Portland oregon, and accomapnied by Honey Majors...here is the Educational Values Champion.... SOLOMON!

Sam: RRRRR! *whistles at Honey* Hubba hubba! Man...it's great to have her back.

Wilbur: Either Solomon will walk away with two titles or BRRDDT shows why he's been ranked #1 this long.

Raskolnikov: Both men are in the ring. Solomon jumps BRRDDT before the bell and smacks him with a forearm shot. BRR turns around and looks down at the dimuntive CW. Solomon smiles, waves, and tries to run...but BRRDDT grabs him by his hair and yanks it hard, sending the EV champ to the mat! BRRDDT with a scoop slam on the champion. BRRDDT bounces off the ropes and drives an elbow deep into his chest. Solomon rolls out of the ring, with BRRDDT in hot pursuit! Honey throws Solomon his title and as BRRDDT wounds the corner, he gets a face full of gold! BRRDDT is staggered, but not down! Solomon throws BRRDDT the title and then dropkicks it right into his face! BRRDDT goes down! No DQ here folks! it's for the gold. Solomon grabs a chair and works it into the back of BRRDDT's head, trying to reopen the wound Adam Agee started earlier on him. Solomon hurtles the big man into the metal pole and Solomon dropkicks BRRDDY in the head, driving it back into the pole...and blood comes a running. man..lots of blood tonight! Solomon slides BRRDDT into the ring and mounts the top rope! Knee drop to the back of Kan...you know who's head. Solomon rolls him over and! 1...2.....kickout!

Arthur: BRRDDT sits up and glares at Solomon! Solomon bounces off the ropes and tries for a cross body..but BRRDDT catches him and turns it into a fallaway slam! BRRDDT sits up and drops a leg across the throat of Solomon. Big up...and a gorilla press. WOW! BRRDDT hurtles Solomon out of the ring and through the Spanish announcers table! BRRDDT steps over the top rope and pulls on his glove. He grabs Solomon by the hair, but Solomon grabs a table leg and shoves it between the legs of BRRDDT! BRRDDDT drops to his knees and then Solomon smacks it upside the side of his head. Solomon places BRRDDT up against the guard rail! Gourd buster! BRRDDT's neck almost snapped! Solomon kicks BRRDDT in the head and then rolls him into the ring. Shamus goes up top! Superfly splash... BUT KANE...SITS UP! Oh S***! Now we owe the WWF money!

Sam: I'll take over you limey! BRRDDT picks up Solomon by the throat and hurtles him into the neutral corner! Big avalance follow up! BRRDDT wipes the hair out of his head! Pick up and....CHOKE SLAM! OH YEAH! The fans are going nuts! He picks up Solomon for the Brimstone driver, but Honey is on the apron dangling a pound puppy from her nimble little fingers. BRRDDT drops solomon and walks over to her. He reaches for the pound puppy...but she pulls it away. She extends it again...but as BRRDDT reaches for she pulls it away again! Evil! Once more she extends it to BRRDDT...but this time hegrabs her by the throat and pulls her in the ring! He's gonna choke slam Honey majors! Solomon makes the save just in time with a low blow and then a roll up! 1...2...kickout! BRRDDT sits up..but Solomon grabs one of Honey's high heels and jabs it in the eyehole of BRRDDt's mask! Solomon with a head scissors takedown and then he scramble to the top rope! BRRDDT to his feet...and Solomon with a sunset flip off the top rope! 1...2....thre...kickout!

Wilbur: Solomon backs against the ropes and then goes for a spinning heel kick...but BRRDDT grabs Solomon's leg and starts spinning him around by it! Solomon goes flying head first into the turnbuckles! BRRDDT piucks him up and then hurtles him diagonally across the ring where Solomon goes head over heels ontot he top turnbuckle! The EV champ is in trouble! BRRDDT Mounts up! Oy...this is gonna hurt! BRRDDT tries for a superplex...but Honey grabs her man's leg...preventing the move. BRRDDT tries again, and Honey hands Solomon her other shoe and he cracks BRRDDT in the head with it. BRRDDT falls to the mat and solomon comes off with a flying elbow to the ribs! Solomon gets BRRDDT to his feet and kicks him in the guts! Solomon grabs the sides of BRRDDT's head! DRAWING BOARD! NO! BRRDDT doesn't budge! Solomon tugs again...and still no movement! Solomon looks up and gulps... and then gets a big black gloved hand around his throat! Up and...CHOKE SLAM! Pick up for the Brimstone Driver But HOney jumps on his back! BRRDDT ignores the annoyance and piledrives Solomon anyways! cover! With Honey on his back trying to choke him! 1...2.....3!!!!!!!!!

Announcer: Here is your winner...and NEW CYBERFIGHT CHAMPION.... THE BIG RED RETARTED DEMENTED DENTIST TRUCKER!

(Fans go nuts as Solomon lays on the mat staring up at the lights! Paul is jubliant and grabs the title...only to get a boot to the chest and A DDT ont he floor from Ferrett. Ferrett grabs the title and runs like hell for the back. BRRDDT picks up the pound puppy from the apron and plays with it, oblivious to the fact he has a title and that his father just got mugged.)

Sam: WOW! Great! Ferrett steals the title! A new champion crowd! Massive chaos! What a great prequal to the PPV this weekend! Fans...check it out! For my three Sunday night bozos...this is Uncle Sam reminding you to buy any product with my name on it!!!

(card ends)