(We begin outside the bradley center where a large group of spoots are protesting the FWO. Members of the ACLU, The Moral Majority, various feminist group, and other concerned citzens holds signs and scream for the blood of our beloved President, Uncle Sam. Finally Sam comes out, with a few bodyguards and everyone's favorite werewolf...who has just discovered his own tail for the first time today.)
Sam: HEY HEY! What's goin' on people?
Fat chick: Your Wrestling promotion promotes Satanism, violence towards woman, perverse behavior and treating women like sex objects!
Sam: Hey...is that why your upset? Look lady, lose a metric ton of that girth around your ribs and you can be a sex object too...
Fat Chick: HOW DARE YOU!
Sam: Look People, wrestling is entertainment! it's fun! Everyone who is wrestling does so because they WANT to. if your kids don't like it, tell them to turn the channel to my all "Herman's Head" network!
Priest: Your May 5th card is a tribute to Walpurgis Night, the most evil day of the year according to the Christian faith! And you're celebrating it! You're perveting the minds of your children!
Henry Hyde: This is an abomination to the American way of life! Wrestling should be banned! It has no reediming social values and it is OBSCENE!
Sam: *thinks for a moment* So...what you're mad about is that Wrestling only teaches kids to be violent and you feel it doesn't EDUCATE THEM?
jesse helms: That's right!
Sam: HEH...well you see...May 12 we had actually planned the whole card around teaching children, and proving that wrestling stimulates the mind, not just testoterone and sexual urges! You see...on May 12th...besides the 2 CyberFight tourney matches...there will be a tournament for our final title in the FWO...the EDUCATIONAL VALUES Championship!
jesse Jackson: But my brotha...how can wrestlign be educational?
Sam: I guess you'll all have to tune in and watch! In fact people who wish to participate in the EV tourney should let me know so I can tell them what they have to do! remember it will be a suprise until May 12th..so tune in then!
Fat Chick: Isn't this just a ploy to increase ratings???
Sam:..........no. Now go away...I have to go...instruct, um...people in how to....give proper sponge baths....*goes back inside*
(Fireworks explode and we are LIVE from the Bradley center in the land of cheese! Various fans holds signs reading, "I am Nucgfjgfcw Weapon!, "JoJo owes me 11 months child support!, "Tiff+Bonnie-clothes=Happy BT!," and, "HID is Ferrett's daddy!" We are also shown members of Sam's charity: "the
500lbs+ Convicts Dream Come True Fundation." Five convicts in orange jump suits hold up signs talking about what they want to do to Tiffany lane. Then we are taken to the broadcast booth area where Wilbur, Arthur and Raskolnikov are grumbling amongst themselves!)
raskolnikov: 28,456!
Arthur: No way! 613
Wilbur: Please...I'M the only one who knows how many licks it takes to get to the center of a tootsie pop, and it, 16,756! So there!
Raskolnikov: You only know because you called up The Tootsie roll factory and....I think we're on!
Wilbur: oh S**T! Hello FWO fans! Welcome to another exciting Sunday Night SLOBBERKNOCKER! The CyberFight Tourney starts tonight and we have 3 other exciting matches! it's gonna be more fun than sniffing crank of your little girl who've got hanging from the ceiling because your wife left you for a street mime! THAT BITCH! WORTHLESS SKANKY BITCH!
Raskolnikov: Ummm...
Arthur: So....Raskolnikov....Ready to umm...call some matches?
Raskolnkiov: Da! Our first match is the weapons match between Slammin JoJo and Bomber! It's gonna be like watching the Bolshiveiks Shoot down the czar's family!
*******************************************************
Arthur: Alright! it's time for the weapons match! This should be great!
Buckets of weapons strewn around the ring. Anythings legal and Each combatant
cam bring one weapon with them! Freaky!
Raskolnikov: This reminds of Stalin purifying Mother Russia!
Wilbur: Purifying?
Raskolnikov: DA! That was when Russia was a REAL Country to be feared! Not
this pathetic CIS!
Announcer: ladies and gentlemen. This next match is for one fall with a 20
minute time limit. Coming to the ring first...along with Newt...here is
BOMBER!
("Judgement Day" by Method Man starts right up and Bomber comes out to a hail
of boos. He carries a metal baseball bat with him and runs it along his open
palm.)
Wilbur: Bomber's going for his first ever singles match here in the FWO?> But
he's gotta get by JoJo to win it!
Raskolnikov: JoJo...Whenever I hear that name i get the PowerPuff girls song
stuck in my head. "Powerpuffs save the DAY!"
Announcer: and his opponent...from Chicago, IL...here is SLAMMIN' JoJo!
(A good fan response is JoJo reward as "Intergalactic" blasts over the P.A.
system, JoJo walks out and grabs a sign from a fan that says "Rank JoJo Over
Ferret!", then smacks the fan upside the head. He walks closer to the ring,
right over to the Spanish Announce Table)
Slammin' JoJo: Adios Jabrone, JoJo es muy buen, y tu es un pene grande... tu
Jabrone!
Spanish Announcer: No Mi Gusta!
Arthur: JoJO's got a mike. I wonder why?
Wilbur: I'm wondering where his weapon is!
Slammin' JoJo: Alright there Bomber, you said I could bring one weapon? You
said it could be anything? Well ladies and jabrones, bald managers, and half
werewolves... let me introduce you to my weapon...
("Pop goes the Weasel" plays over the P.A. system, as a brand new, blue,
Volkswagen Bug drives out, and stops right at ringside.)
Slammin' JoJo: well you're probably thinking, OH My God! This guy's gotta
car! Well, I'm not gonna run your bombing career ass over... cause it's not
the car that is my weapon... it's the "Jabrone Killers" that are inside
it....and you my friend, are the biggest Jabrone I have ever seen, so prepare
to get killed.
("Macarena" plays over the P.A. system, as out pours around 20 blue ninjas
from the bug. The surround the ring, as the bell rings. JoJo throws down the
headset, and gets into the ring slowly. Bomber attacks him, but JoJo throws
him into the barbwire. JoJo kicks him in the midsection, then signals for the
"Jabrone Killers" to come in the ring, and drag Bomber out to the center of
the ring. Four of them beat Bomber down while JoJo grabs the metal bat and
knocks Newt upside his head. Newt falls to the arena floor while Bomber lays
there unconscious in the middle of the ring. The 20 "Jabrone Killers" Then
divide into groups of five, and go to each turnbuckle, then simultaneously
nail Bomber with Guillotine leg drops, Swan Dive Head butts, and Frog
Splashes. JoJo then walks over, and places his pinky on Bomber's nose.... 1...2...3. The bell rings, as the
lights go out, about a minute later, the lights come back on. All of the
"Jabrone Killers" are hooked up to cables, and fly up into the rafters. JoJo
walks out of the ring, gets into the Bug, and drives out of the arena.
Arthur: Umm....
Wilbur: umm....
Raskolnikov: HA! I love it! Pure evil! Reminds me of when my brothers and I
used to mug tourists and tell them we were KGB!
Arthur: Man...I think Bomber deserved a fair match! That stunk! It was up
there with the pez dispenser match!
Raskolnikov: Quit yer bitching socialist dog!
Arthur: What an odd way to start the Sunday card! But folks..it WILL get better than that!
raskolnikov: What we have right here is the FIRST match of the Cyberfight Tourney! Edge takes on
Miles the Insane Ice cream Man! And personally..I don't care!
Wilbur: That's what she said! She said, "WILBUR! I don't care anymore! I leaving you for an man who can express his emotions! A man who feels! Well, bitch! Can you feel your legs? HUH?? Can YOU????
Arthur: hey look...there's the announcer....
Announcer: This next match is a CF tourney match! Coming to the ring first, from Dundas, Ontario...here is Sean "Edge" Stone!
(No music plays. Edge comes out looking dejected and sullen. A man throws a bannanna peel at him. Security has to hold him back from beating up the 78 year old biddie!
Wilbur: Edge has a lot of talent! He just needs to get a win! Same goes for miles!
Announcer: His opponent, from Honkeyville, MI...here is Miles the Insane Ice Cream Man!
(More boos. Some fans cheer, but only because "Master Of Puppets" by Metallica plays.)
Arthur: Miles gets on the apron and climbs in, and Edge attacks him
before the bell!
Raskolnikov: Edge whips him into the ropes and takes him down with a
clothesline. Elbow drop onto the chest. Edge with a scoop slam, then
another elbow and a cover! 2 count! Edge goes to pick up miles, but
Miles with a thumb to the eyes and then a snap mare takedown! Elbow to
the top of the head. Miles bounces off the ropes and hits a baseball
slide to Edge's jaw. Pick up and a stomachbreaker! Hooks the leg! 2 count
for The Ice Cream man. Miles with a snap suplex and then he sits on Edge's
Chest and starts pounding a way! Knee by Edge to where the sun don't shine
stuns Miles and lets Edge gets to his feet! Edge with a series of stomps
to the face! Edge drops a leg and makes a cover! 1..2...kickout!
Wilbur: Edge mounts the top rope! Miles to his feet! Edge with a
shoulderblock from up high,sending Miles to the canvas! Another cover!
1..2....th...kickout! Miles is set up in the neutral corner and gets a
series of knees to the breadbasket! Snap mare takedown! Kick to the back
of the neck and then Edge picks Miles up....PILEDRIVER! Edge calls for
the Edge!Miles slides down the back of Edge and hits him with a
dragon suplex! 1..2...thre...kickout! Miles grabs Edge and slaps in him
a full nelson! Miles tries for another Dragon suplex, but Edge with a
mules kick and then... EDGE!!! 1....2....3!!!!
Announcer: here is your winner....EDGE!
(Edge is ecstatic that he won. He kicks the fallen Miles a few times and
then leaves the ring to a chorus of boos.)
Arthur: nifty! Good win there! Edge advances but he'll have to face either Nina Larue,
or the Man who beat him before in the Big red retard! Tough!
Raskolnikov: Eh...he's shifty! I predict Edge will advance even farther.
(Eddie HeartBreaks Music starts up.)
Wilbur: Speaking of men who beat Edge...here come sone now!
(Eddie comes out to a mixed reaction, and grabs a microphone from the
announce table.)
Eddie: "A lot of you have been wondering, what kind of announcement am
I talking about? It's a major one. Let's get to the point. The money of
Surge, Heartbreak Enterprises, and Uncle Sam have pulled together to
bring you......."
(Eddie pulls out a large manilla envelope, and opens it to reveal a calender.
Eddie: "THE 1999 WOMEN OF FWO TOTALLY NUDE CALENDAR! Yes,yes, yes, only
the pure charm of Eddie Heartbreak could bring you an offer like this.
Of course, since Bonnie and Victoria Williams had the class to stay away
from this, so it is 100% pure silicone, it is 100% pure Babe Squad! I'm
going on a world tour to sell these babies! Only 29.95 each! That's all
I've got to say, so hit the music of the next FWO WORLD CHAMPION!"
(Eddie tosses the calender into the crowd and walks out of the arena.
)
Arthur: That was rather odd...
Wilbur: odd? ODD? Odd is when you come home from insanityfest 99 aka my job and find your wife straddling a hippo
in your own home as she screams, "Faster Dr. Zaus! FASTER! And there's a man in a chimp costume picking lice out of her head and eating them while it engages in carnal activites with her.
And then...what makes it worse is...IT WASN'T A COSTUME! AHHHHHH!
Raskolnkiov: hey look! Triple threat action is next!
*******************************************************
Arthur Dent Kind: Well ladies and gentlemen ... it's gonna be a shagg-a-rific match right here, it's a three way between Ice "Lord of Cold", Nuclear
Weapon, and Gabriel.
Raskolnikov: All stupid democratic pussies!
("Intergalactic" blasts over the P.A. system. As JoJo and Ferret walk over
to announcers table, and kick out Raskolnikov and Arthur Dent. Wilbur
Fields gets up, but Ferret stops him.)
Wilbur Fields: You have no right being here! This is not your job!
Slammin' JoJo: Listen now jabrone, I do what I want. The big surprise I
had for tonight was that Ferret and I are now part of the announce team, for
one match every Sunday, so that the people can see more of they're favorite
wrestler!
Wilbur Fields: Ferret?
Ferret: Ha!
Slammin' JoJo: Shut up! I'm talking about me! Oh look, the three jabrones
are in the ring, and are ready to start the "Triple Threat" match... Ferret how
long until you think the fans start chanting boring?
Ferret: Five minutes, maybe six cause I enjoy seeing spoots get beat up.
Wilbur Fields: I better get a raise for doing this...
Slammin' JoJo: (bell rings) There's the bell, let the jabrone match begin!
(Ice runs after Gabriel, and gets him in a headlock. Nuclear Weapon just
stand there in his corner watching the Ice and Gabriel try to take each
otherto the ground. He starts trying to get the crowd into the match. They start
chanting "boring".)
Slammin' JoJo: Ohh, It was only thirty seconds! Ferret, you owe me fifty
bucks.
Ferret: We never bet money!
Slammin' JoJo: Shut up and give me the money, Willy, didn't I say it was
for fifty bucks...
Wilbur Fields: No.
Slammin' JoJo: See! WIlly heard it.
Ferret: Fine I'll pay you after the match.... ya spoot.
(Nuke finnaly gets sick of the boring chants and grabs Ice, nailing him if a
DDT. He then grabs Gabriel by the head, runs to the turnbuckle... ACID
DROP!
He goes for the cover... 1-2... Ice breaks the count. Suddenly Tanker
comes towards the ring, and starts cheering on Nuke. Nuke gets up and starts
slapping the chest of Ice. Ice blocks the pain, and nails him with a low
blow, but the ref doesn't see it. Ice notices this, and starts beating the
shit out of Nuke's groin area. Nuke lays there holding his crotch like
Michael Jackson.)
Slammin' JoJo: OUCH! I hate it when jabrones go for the little jabrones! Of
course, it's not like Nuke had any balls to begin with.
Ferret: Ha!
(Nuke lays there holding his crotch like Michael Jackson. Ice starts starts
celebrating, when Gabriel sneaks up behind him. Gabriel taps him on the
shoulder. Kick to the mid section, he lifts him up, Face Buster! Gabriel
then locks on a Half Boston Crab on Ice. Nuke sees this, and climbs to the top
rope. He nails Ice with a Frog Splash! Gabriel grabs Nuke, and whips him
into the ropes, POWER SLAM! Ice gets up, jumps on the ropes, taking both
Nuke and Gabriel with a moonsault. There's the cover, 1...2...KICKOUT!)
Wilbur Fields: This is one hell of a match! This could be the best match
ever in the FWO!
Slammin' JoJo: What the (F-word)! have you been smoking the jabrone weed, or
are you just that stupid, this match ain't nothin' without me!
Wilbur Fields: Wait, you're right, Ferret's not in it.
Ferret: Ha!
Slammin' JoJo: Both of you shut up, or I'll kick both your asses, until
they're as blue as my hair!
(Ice, Gabriel, and Nuke all start beating up on each other in the center of
the ring. Nuke jumps up on the ring apron and distracts the ref. A bunch of
women run out, and distract the ref. Nuke sneaks out and gets a chair. He
nails Ice in the head with it! Nuke then throw's it to the ground, grabs
Gabriel and nails him with the Atom Bomb!!! Tanker points out the cover,
and jumps off the ring apron, the ref runs over to make the count.... 1...2...3!
Your Winner: Nuclear Weapon!
Slammin' JoJo: Wow, Jabrone Number three wins it.
Wilbur Fields: You mean Nuclear Weapon.
Slammin' JoJo: What the hell, Ferret.... Did you bring hoes to the arena?
Ferret: No, why?
Slammin' JoJo: Cause here comes Alexandria and Vanity! The jabrones
are wearing matching wearing matching tank tops with stretch pants. They
probably just came back from Fisting... I mean Fishing!
Ferret: Ha! Alexandria caught a "Northern Dyke", using her, "Large
Mouthed Ass" lure!
Wilbur Fields: Ohh both of you please, no wonder they're feminist, with
losers like you two.
Ferret: Not my fault they can't get aboard the Ferret Express, It's always a
first class ride! They could stare at my caboose, and play with the big
conductor!
Slammin' JoJo: They would, but you don't shower.
(The Alexandria gets in the ring with the feminist, and calls for a
microphone. The ring announcer gives her one, and she stands over Gabriel.)
Alexandria: Hell hath no fury like a woman scorn.
(She throws the mic in Gabriel's face, then her, and the other women
leave the ring.)
Slammin' JoJo: Look's like Nuclear Weapon's gonna owe them female jabrones
something ... of course that jabrone doesn't have the balls ... if you know
what I mean!
Ferret: HA!
Wilbur Fields: Will you two please leave! Ferret's stench is stinking up the
arena!
Ferret: OK, we'll leave, but not without a kiss good-bye!
(Ferret gets up, and kisses Wilbur on the cheek. Then he and JoJo leave
the announcer's area, while the fans boo.)
Wilbur Fields: Yuck! I thought getting licked my HiD was bad.
*******************************************************************
(Arthur and Raskolnikov come back to the seats.)
Arthur: Glad we didn't have to sit through that! *sniffs* My chair smells
like crap and bad hygene!
Raskolnkiov: Well, Nukie made a name more himself...just like Chyenobal!
Wilbur: My wife's name was Sherrie. But now it should be, "No man will want me after my ex cut my face up with a razorblade! I'm a hideous freak! Maybe I shouldn't have cheated on wilbur with every male relative in his family, including the ones that have been dead for 15 years!"
Arthur: Wow...you've got problems!
Wilbur: YOU WANNA BE MY NEXT PROBLEM TEA SUCKER?
Arthur: Ummm....
Raskolnikov: let's go to the ring...
******************************************************************
Arthur: Well my chaps! It's a first round cyberfight match! Both seem like
dark horses to me!
Wilbur: that just means both men will be giving their all!
Raskie: Odio questo paese! DADO AMERICA!
Arthur: Psst. You're Russian...not itallian!
Raskie: Oh yeah. Sorry. Mussolini...Stalin..there two peas in a pod...
Announcer: This next match is a First Round CyberFight Tournament
Matchup! Coming to the ring first, weighing in at 279 lbs and standing
at an impressive 6 feet, six inches..here is the self-procalimed "Incredible
Champion," Eric Williams!
(Eirc comes Eric Williams comes to the ring alone, without the FWO Incredible Title. He slaps a few hands, but is focused on Solomon.)
Raskie: HAHAHAHA! Beaten by a girl! HAHAHAHAA!
Arthur: Hey, nina's talented! If she Beats BRRDDT tonight...you know she's
one of the odds on favorites to win!
Announcer: His opponent...from Portland OR, weighing in at 215 lbs and
standing at six feet, one inch...he is SOLOMON!
(Solomon comes out to the ring carrying a beanie baby and a bucket o'
merchandise he's trying to unpeddal. he stops to sell a grannie am
"Ayatollah Assahola" T-shirt.)
Wilbur: isn't he dead?
Raskie: Da...but more bothersome is what a capitalist pig he is!
Arthur: Solomon comes in and sticks his bucket of junk on the floor..and
then he puts his beanie baby on the top turnbuckle in his corner. Ref goes
over to complain...and Solomon throws a fit!
Wilbur: apparantly...the beanie baby is his "lucky charm" and he won't
wrestle without it being there! Ref is afraid it's got some metal pipe in it
or something. ref checks it..but nothing's in it. Ref says he'll let the beanie stay. Solomon kisses it and pats it's head.
Raskie: Solomon turns around, and gets an open hand slap from Eric!
Williams: "SELL THAT!"
Arthur: Eric with a staggering right fist and then a fireman's carry
takedown! This match is underway! Eric picks up Solomon and whips him
into the buckles! Knee to the gut by the natural and then a swinging
neckbreaker! Fist drop and then a blatant choke on Solomon. Solomon is lifted to his feet
and placed int he neutral corner. Solomon is raked with three right hands,
but Then Solomon stomps on Eric's left foot and rakes him in the eye!
Wilbur: Solomon grabs Eric's nose and pinches it. Then he takes his free
hands and slaps the nose! Nyuk Nyuk NyuK! Side headlock by Solomon
and a noogie! Eric turns it into an atomic drop and thena lariat to the back of
the CW's neck! Eric with a scoop slam and then he stomps away at Solomon's
head! Eric plants Solomon on the top turnbuckle and climbs him!
Fans: I...2...3.....4...5....6...7.....8....
Wilbur: OH NO! Solomon with a knee to the groin! Eric falls to the mat in
pain. Wilbur off the second buckle with a driving elbow right to the small
of the back! He grabs Eric's legs and slingshots him right into the beanie
baby! It explodes in a burst of stuffing and..powder?
Raskie: Solomon with a handspring elbow, but Eric ducks out of the way,
grabs Solomon's head and drives it intot he top turnbuckle! Then he fires
away with a series of right hands to the gut! Eric winds up for an
uppercut...then starts itching his back! He's itching violently! He can't
stop! Solomon mounts the top again! Erivc's too busy groaning and itching
his face arms and back! Top rope bulldog for solomon! Cover! 1..2....thr..kickout!
Arthur: That must of been itching powder! itching powder in the beanie baby!
Wilbur: Glad you finally caught up to the 5 or so million watching at
home....
Raskie: Side headlock by Solomon. he points out to some chick in the
stands and asks if that was the dress Eric was wearing. Eric tries for a back
splex, but Solomon lands on his feet behind "The Natural" And gives him a
wedgie! What the hell? Solomon with a dropkick to the back of the head and
Williams tumbles over the top rope! Solomon backs up...Plancha...but
Williams catches him and backdrops him onto a steel chair!
Arthur: OH OUCH! Williams is still itching...but he's trying to keep focus.
Boot to the head on Solomon! Eric picks up the little CW and hits him with
an implant DDT on the chair, busting it to pieces! Ericv rolls Solomon back
in the ring and then he points to the "Surge" Vendor and gives him a big
thumbs up! Eric rolls in the ring, hooks the leg and makes the cover!
1...2...thre...no way! Teh wanker got his bloody shoulder up 'ee did!
Wilbur: Shut up! You don't have a cockney accent! Eric is unhappy He picks
up Solomon and cracks him with a big right hand...solomon falls back down
to the mat! Eric picks him back up and whips him into the corner! Eric with a
clotheline follow up, but Solomon leap frogs over Eric and after Eric hits
the turnbuckles...solomon hits a backslide! 2 count! Eric gets up, but
Solomon with a crucifix! He tries to get Eric over, but Eric hoits him onto
his shoulder and reverses it into a Samoan Drop! Cover! 1...2...th...nope!
The fiesty CW kicks out yet agaiN!
Raskie: Eric picks up Solomon and goes for a vertical suplex, but Solomon Wriggles free and dropkicks Williams in the back of the neck as he comes
down! Eric stumbles and hits his jaw right on the top turnbuckle! Solomon
from behind with a roll-up and a fistfull o' tights! 1...2....3!!!! YES!
Announcer: Here is your winner...Solomon!
(Solomon rolls out of the ring and gets the F*** outta Dodge as Eric gets
up, stunned that he lost!
Wilbur: He argues with the ref about the tights pull. Ref says too bad, so
Eric kicks him in the chest and then...NATURAL TALENT! NATURAL TALENT! That
wasn't nice!
(Eric storms out of the ring..not a happy camper.)
Arthur: Maybe Eric should stick to tag wrestling.
****************************************************************
Raskolnikov: Down to the last two matches! The strip match and the last
CF tourney match! Personally I can't wait to see two women go at it! In
Russia, we only have women that could pass for men!
Announcer: It's time for the STRIP MATCH! (hoots and hollers from the crowd) Announcer: Coming to the ring first, is the Special Guest ref...BLACKTHORNE!
(Tons of boos go at as BT wears his Ref shirt and poses.) Wilbur: What was Sam thinking? he's not impartial! he's a friend of Tiffany!
Arthur: Money. Probably money. Wilbur: My wife left me for a man with money...but all the money in the world can't help that shattered bag of flesh she's become!
Raskolnikov: Dude...chill! Even I'm not this F'd up! Announcer: Now..the combatants! Coming to the ring at this time, along with the surfer Circuit...here is Bonnie!
(Good amount o' cheers. Bonnie comes out with Surfer Circuit escorting them. She is
wearing only a piece of an evening gown dress over her bikini outfit...showing her
confidence. Also, she is wearing a football helmet for protection. She steps in the ring as the surfers watch her back.)
Announcer; Her opponent...along with Nina Larue...here is Tiffany lane!
(As Miss World plays, Tiffany comes out wearing a silver, sexy,form fitting gown, The men are on their feet howling their approval. She
looks at Bonnie and The Surfer Ciruit with anger and contempt.) Arthur: BT's telling the Surfer's to leave. He says they aren't managers so they can't stay!
Sean whips out a one night manager's liscence and makes a smart remark that pisses BT off. Not a good
way to keep the ref impartial... Wilbur: Outside the surfers mock Nina's haircut in a mean mean manner. There's the bell...Tiffany lunges at Bonnie,
But Bonnie leaps out of the ring and grabs a mike! (Bonnie steps out of the ring with the crowd booing her for the action. She
heads over to the convicts who are here courtesy of FWO's "500lbs+ Convicts
Dream Come True Fundation". She'll look at them in disgust at first, and dodge
them since they are trying to grab at her.) Bonnie: Eww! As if I would ever like, ever let you touch me like that! (She
turns over to Tiffany.) Oh Tiffy, I noticed like, when you strut your stuff
here today, you totally forgot to give appreciation to the fans of the FWO by
like, clapping their hands or something like that. So like, since you're just
too like, hot and sexy for us, we'll bring the fans to you. (Bonnie allows the fat guys to jump the railing. They get out as Bonnie stops
security. The convicts enter the ring and immediately rush for Tiffany.)
Raskolnikov: WTF??? Arthur: BT is trying to stop them...but it's five on one and he's battered quickly! Here come two men wearing
Tiffany Lane t-shirts! Tiffany screams at them and they aid blackthorne in holding off the convicts! Surfers come in and it's everyboday against everybody!
Raskolnkiov: Where's Tiff's other friends? DBR and those guys? (Camera cuts to the back where Enforcer, Eddie and Eric Williams have pushed a dumpster marked, "DBR fan club" up to the dressing room
of DBR and DBR and his friends are pounding trying to get out. Eric, Eddie and Enforcer drink some surge.)
Wilbur: Everyone's going for everybody else! Sean ryan tries to grab tiffany...but one of the convicts hits him in the gut with his meaty hands! Surfer's plan has backfired!
Tiffany's been stripped down to her bikini, but this match has been thrown out! Boonie from behind with a chair shot on Tiffany!
(Bonnie heads under the ring and pulls out a cosmetics bag. Instead of
pulling out a buzzer, she pulls out a comb and hairspray and starts seriously
doing her hair. Than from her bag, she also pulls out a lighter. She puts it
right in front of the hairspray can making it a flamethrower practically.)
Wilbur: She's gonna burn Tiffany! Arthur: Blackthorne from behind with a knee to the back and then a back suplex on Bonnie! She's out! The Surfer's pounce on BT and start pummeling him!
raskolnkiov: NIna grabs the unconcious Bonnie and drapes her over her shoulder. She grabs Tiffany and the babe Squad run for coer while the melee in the ring continues!
Wilbur: Here comes security! The Convicts are pummeled by the cops and handcuffed! Tiff's body guards/aides/whatever are arrested too for getting involved without a wrestling liscence. BT and the Surfer are pretty beat up.!
Arthur: How odd! But the Babe Squad got away with Nina. Security has to hold the Surfers and BlackThorne back. This feud has really heated up!
Raskolnikov: Sean and River just noticed Bonnie is missing! Not good! The run to the back calling her name. You know...she is their major weak spot!
Wilbur: Well folks...We've got the last CF match left! And what a doozy! Nina will have to come back out here and face Kan...er...you know who I mean!
***********************************************
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