Tommy: Alright you stupid morons, your little announcing game is over. Let a real man who knows 'real' wrestling talk about this stuff. Now get out of here...you dumb communists.

[The three try to protest, but Tommy spits as he growls at them and he forces the three out of there. Than, "By the Light of the Silvery Moon" plays as Caped Dude...the one hit wonder of escort saving runs out of the entrance. He is a skinny kid with a black Zorro mask and a white bedsheet as a cape. He pretends he flies over to the announcer's table where he joins Tommy.]

Tommy: What the hell are they sending little shrimps out here for?

Caped Dude: (He hands him a piece of paper and than looks excitedly at the ring.) Sorry dude, pro wrasslin' policy...need a heel and a face announcer dude. Good thing I was selling that president dude hot dogs at that very moment you went and screwed those freaks over. Good thing I always wear this cape too man...I'd never be able to get this really cool announcing job if it wasn't for this baby. (He kisses his cape, than gets serious.) Alright dudes, this is going to be like, one bodacious match-up between...

Tommy: Oh shut up. It's the main event...it's guarunteed to be good. This is going to be great...two huge ass guys grappling and beating the crap out of each other.

CD: Yes, Nina and the Big Red Retarded Demented Dentist Trucker are sure to...

Tommy: Nina? The crazy names they'll come up for a wrestler these...wait a minute? Is she that girl? (Caped Dude nods his head as he scopes around the arena.) Oh man! And she faces that stupid reject? What kind of dumb match is this? Isn't she the one that got her blue hair dyed and her body totally screwed over by your dumb little tag team? (Caped Dude nods again, waving to the ring announcer.) Ha! This is going to be great! I always wanted to see an ugly girl with blue-hair get chokeslammed by a seven foot freak with a mental problem...and I've been saying it since I was a boy, you could check with my friend. (The ring announcer pulls down the microphone.) Oh great, this guy is gonna blab on for an hour and a half. He really needs a life man...every match he comes and....

Ring Announcer: The following match is a FWO Cyberfight Title first-round match-up and is also the main event with TV time remaining. Announcing first, hailing from Beverly Hills, California; she weighs 125lbs and stands at five-foot, nine-inches. She is part of the Babe Squad and escorted by Tiffany Lane, she is Nina LaRue!

Tommy: Ha! Let the freak come down!

[As "Sexy MF" by Prince plays, Nina Larue comes out wearing a purple, sports bra, purple tights, and matching boots and kicking pads. Tiffany Lane wears a purple, mini dress and carries a FAO Shwartz bag. There are tremendus catcalls and whistles from the fans. Nina slaps hands with the fans while Tiffany ignores them.]

Tommy: Oh my gawd she is hot! What the hell man, I thought you said your boys screwed with her head man! Made her blue-haired or something!

CD: Oh, that was before she had that make-over thingy that covered Bonnie's make-over thing. (He looks as Tommy is squirming in his chair.) Whoa man, you have to like, go to the bathroom or something man? I know this arena like the back of my hand so like, I could tell you where one is.

Tommy: I wish I could go but I can't stand up.

CD: Mmm...I know how you feel. I get charlie horse things all the time too man. Just hold in. BRRDDT is like, next I think.

Ring Announcer: And now, hailing from Death Valley, California; he weighs 326lbs and stands at six-foot, eleven-inches. He is escorted by Paul Barber, he is Big Red Retarded Demented Dentist Trucker!

["Toccata and Fugue in D Major" by Bach eeriely plays over the arena as a fat man comes out with BRRDDT. Slowly down the aisle, he marches down as the fans have mixed reactions for the former superstar. He carries a dozen black roses in one of his hands and in the other is a stuffed Gargamel doll. Paul Barber gives jolly laughs as they make their way down to the ring. Babe Squad backs out of the ring as BRRDDT gets in the ring. Raising his hands, the pyros go off. He puts down the doll and flowers as the lights come back on. Staring at Nina, he tugs on his glove and drags his thumb across his throat.]

CD: Dude, where have I like, seen that before man?

Tommy: I know what you mean, this is so...

CD: No, I really did see that before. I just can't remember where. (Tommy rolls his eyes and cracks open a beer, showing it to the crowd.) Well dudes, the other babe and the fat spoot are out of the ring and so is that like...doll thing...and the tall spoot and chick are ready to start this thing. The bell rings...ding ding ding...and we're off dudes. The babe is running around, circling the big red monster as BRRDDT angrily stares at her. The dude must be confused man, he trained for a smurf with like, blue hair or something and he gets a fiesty chick.

Tommy: Oh shut up, she's still a little smurf to that freak. Nina makes the first move by putting a kick to the side of that moron. He is barely stunned though as Nina retreats back. Again she goes in for the kill, and again he is not stunned at all. She goes for it aga...no, she tricks BRRDDT and hits a sweep on him...as if it is hard to trick him. BRRDDT is on the ground now but is slowly getting up but Nina is one step ahead of him. She is on the second rope...she waits...and she hits a missile drop kick straight to the gut of the big red retard! He is leaning over in a ton of pain...wait a minute...if she gets missile drop kicked than she'd be the one leaning over showing over her great pair of...

CD: Boot to the jaw! Man, the chick is showing no mercy on the dude. She bounces off the ropes and dropkicks BRRDDT in the back. The tall dude stumbles over and falls into the ropes. But he shakes back his hair and just stares at Nina, frightening her a little. Man...that was just like the pinnacle of cool right there...the like, sweeping back of the hair and the...

Tommy: Oh shut up. Nina now starts running against the ropes and hits BRRDDT with a clothesline...but the moron is unaffected by it. Probably to stupid to realize pain. She does it again, obviously trying to get him over somehow, but she is met with a boot to the face! She's lying down now! Strip the broad naked you overgrown piece of monkey waste! Do it for the fans! Oh great, he just leg dropped her across the neck. That had to hurt the girl. He picks her up and has her draped on his shoulders. He performs a horribly executed running shoulder breaker. (Caped Dude looks at him funny, since it was beautifully perfected.) They're still in the bra, it wasn't hard enough of an impact. Man, are you actually caring about the match Caped Dude? What kind of mindless moron wants the girl to win in this?

CD: Well, I'm enjoying this match. BRRDDT wings himself back up and the dude lifts the chick byher hair...what's left of it anyway. He whips her into the corner and starts running after her with a like, huge clothesline! Wow, that must've like, hurt the chick. Again he wings her to like, that other corner...but she jumps and goes for a moonsault onto the big dude...but he catches her! This could be the Brimstone Driver dudes...but no! She hurricuranna's him like, pretty far...for a chick at least. She slowly gets up and starts heading over to BRRDDT, but the dude sits right up from the thing! Man, this dude must have a lot of like, that stamina endurance stuff.

Tommy: Eh, I still say he's too stupid to know pain. She doesn't give up though. She quickly gives him a roudhouse to the jaw as he stands up, and he stumbles backwards. She heads and quickly tries to throw him into the ropes, but the moron reverses it. She ducks a clothesline from the seven footer and comes back to greet him with a jumpkick to the chest! Wow, the broad got height on that one! Still in clothes, she quickly goes over and snap mares him and slaps on a sleeperhold. She gets some elevation on him and...wow, look at that butt man...but anyway, Ka...err...BRRDDT is pretty much out. We could have a female advancing from to the semi-finals from this match. The ref goes and raises BRRDDT hand...and it falls down. That's one. He goes over and does it again...and it falls down. That's two. Paul Barber is desperately banging on the canvas, pretty much sweating to death. Here comes the third lift...and it falls...

CD: Falls right onto the back of Nina's neck!

Tommy: No! I still want to see that fine piece of...

CD: And now BRRDDT stands right back up with a babepack on his back! He flips her over and she falls hard to like, the canvas! A huge elbow drop from the three-hundred or whatever pound dude! He picks up the babe and seats her on the top rope. He goes for some kind of superplex type thingy or something and...hey, wait. Tiffany is now ringside distracting the ref, and Paul Barber joins the little meeting type thingy. Wow, Paul is yelling at the top of his lungs. I guess he doesn't want the chick ringside. And now BRRDDT stops what he's doing! With his head down in some sense, the tall dude starts walking towards the fat dude! Now Pual is really, like, really mad now!

Tommy: I always knew that BRRDDT was a huge idiot. Paul is pointing for the ropes. Nina is getting out of this unconscious state thing...I think she has enough energy to take off that damn bra thing she's been wearing this whole match. Instead...hey, she is acting like she is unconscious again! Wow, a girl with brains...that tag team you support really doesn't have one of those...Caped Dude!

CD: Sure it does...sorta. BRRDDT prepares for that plex type thingy he was doing...but the babe is turning it into a tornado DDT! Wow, that is just like...cool right there man. She goes for the pin...1...2...and BRRDDT just throws her right off of him. She gets tangled into the ropes a little, but quickly escapes. Chicks can do that dudes. BRRDDT sits right back up, but she heads for the top ropes quickly and does a springboard spinning heel kick from the top rope! Wow, did you like, see that man?

Tommy: Yeah, whatever. I'm telling you. You'd think that stupid BRRDDT guy would burn off her clothes or something by now. BRRDDT is down on the ground and Nina is heading for the top rope...gawd she is so hot. She hits a splash and goes for the cover...1...2...and another kickout by the big red moron. Nina goes for the top ropes again and waits for BRRDDT to get up. She goes for a crossbody takedown...but he catches her in a powerslam! Did the brastrap snap! Get back up Nina, get up now! I have to see this...BRRDDT gets off of her and heads for the ropes...damn, it's still in tact. She slowly gets up though, a little shakey from the powerslam. BRRDDT leaps from the top rope and...

CD: Oh man! What agility from the seven footer! This is a man that is not only big, but a dude who is doing things like, physics doesn't or isn't supposed to let him do! Oh man! Here's the cover...1...2...thr...wait, Tiffany just pulled over the ref and...

Tommy: Look at that view the ref has on Tiffany! Oh man, this could be even better than the match! Tiffany is slowly caressing the hair of the ref and Paul Barber starts coming over. Meanwhile in the ring, BRRDDT gets up to see what is going on. Nina goes over and...Nina's Knockout! She did...wait...BRRDDT didn't go down from the lowblow. The moron couldn't have gotten that big from testosterone I guess. Nina pokes him in the eyes though...and goes for it again, but she isn't getting anywhere. Nina! I know how to get that big dumb moron off his feet! Just show him your...

CD: Tiffany is now slowly letting down her straps on the like, dress thingy she is...

Tommy: What?! Oh screw you Nina! Here it comes...but Paul Barber comes over with a can of blue paint and starts spraying it all over her! Oh man...maybe the air pressure will have enough force to just...maybe...strip her naked or...na, never. Anyway, that fat jolly doofus just totally ruined that dress and now he's going to mess up her hair with his hand but...oh no! The hair is staying in place! What the hell is going on here, this isn't on the card! She was supposed to be shaven today, but now her hair is stronger than ever! Folks, this is just...simply...I can't explain this folks. Out of the two Sunday night cards we had, this is the most...wait. Tiffany just knocked Paul Barber with a punch to the face and she's back to her ways with the ref. Meanwhile Nina is just wondering how she's going to get the big man leaning over so she could hit her darn finisher. Nina! Monkey see monkey do! Bend over and show him how it's done honey! Wow, this'll be great, if she listens we'll see some T & ...

CD: A big haymaker to her neck! Now he slaps on a chokeslam, the chick is up with one hand...and is slammed hard to the mat. The slam of that like, totally knocked the ref out of his little trance! He's over to the match despite the other babe's pleas! Tiffany rushes for her FAO Shwartz and runs to the top of the aisle. What's this? Another chick? Vanity or whatever?

Tommy: Oh yeah...this is getting better.

CD: But BRRDDT has Nina up for the Brimstone Driver...and he hits it! That's it dudes...1...2... ... ...why'd he like, get off of her. What does the dude see that we don't?

Tommy: I swear man, if Tiffany and that other broad are flashing right about now, without me seeing them, I am going to be one upset little...hey, Tiffany and Vanity are on the aisle playing with Tonka trucks! They found his weakness! BRRDDT is going over to play with them! The fat moron goes over to try and plead with him, but Ka...err...BRRDDT has his sights set on the ladies with the trucks! He's about halfway up the aisle and Nina is furiously telling the ref to start the count. 1...2...3...and BRRDDT is up there. Tiffany is laughing with Vanity as they sneak their way back to the ring! Oh my, this is going to be a countout! The ref is up to 5...6... and BRRDDT pulls out an Official Spaceballs The DollŪ of Yogurt out of the bag! FAO Scwartz is one sick company having that little doll that had that Scwartz thing in that movie...7...8...BRRDDT pulled the string.

CD: The doll says the saying...and Mel Brook's voice pops out. Wow, that BRRDDT dude is looking pretty freaky man. Nina, Tiffany, and Vanity are all jumping up and down, clapping each other's hand. The ref is counting...9...te... (There is a huge explosion from the posts of the ring.) Oh man! BRRDDT just like, did the pyro thingy!

Tommy: Wow, I never saw him do that during a match, spontaneously like that back in the WWF. (Caped Dude looks confused at him.) Oh let's face it! He's Kane! Get a grip on reality! The only reason he is... (Caped Dude slides away from him, looking at him weird.) ...fine, be that way. Anyway, BRRDDT also known as...

CD: Hey, the bell didn't ring. Look at the ref, he fell out of the ring. The dude fell out from the pyros! He's crawling on the outside cement, but now BRRDDT is coming back to the ring with the Mel Brooks doll! Wow, the dude is looking pretty like, well, PO-ed. He throws the doll into the ring and steps over the rope with like, one step man! He stepped right over! The three babes aren't so happy now...but they bounce off the ropes holding each other's hands and do a like, triple flying clothesline to the big red dude!

Tommy: Oh my gawd! Did you see that! That was three times the sex appeal this show is allowed on at one time! Take off your clothes girls!

CD: He right back up again! But the Babe Squad sends him into the ropes. They duck a double clothesline and like, the chicks connect with a flapjack! Wow, the chick flip! And now Vanity knees the poor guy in the back of the neck. The jolly fat spoot is trying to wake up the ref to get the babes DQ-ed, but he doesn't like, even know where he is. Hey, where are we? (Tommy slaps him in the back of the head as he takes off his headsets and cracks open a beer, enjoying the three women.) Whatever. The three pick him up by the hair and whip him into the ropes. The babes each bounce off different ropes and everyone is gonna meet in the middle...triple drop kick! Vanity leaves to the outside. Tiffany picks him up by the hair and sets up him up for the other chick...and Nina's Knockout! What a DDT! She goes for the cover, even though there are no refs anywhere near that are conscious enough to...hey, Vanity comes back with the ref's shirt on! Tiffany is standing over BRRDDT as the chick is counting him...1...2...and it's ove...wait! BRRDDT sat right back up and he has Tiffany in a chokeslam position! (Tommy spits out and spills his beer and races to put on his headphones.) He must've seen the blue on her dress and thought like, totally smurf man! Nina comes racing after and...she has a hand on her neck! Vanity runs off the ropes and...she meets BRRDDT's boot in her face!

Tommy: That moron! What the hell is this! No, not to the ladies!

CD: And he chokeslams both of the chicks onto the other chick! Paul hears this and sticks his fat spoot head up...ha, he looks like a little kid who just seen candy...or a Paul Barber who just saw candy. He is rolling the ref into the ring now as the ref dude starts to wake up. BRRDDT picks up Nina and...Brimstone Driver!

Tommy: He did it right to the head of Tiffany! No mercy whatsoever in that big, overgrown piece of burnt up retardedness. He...he picks them all up by their hair now. He puts them all in a position for...and all three of the broads get the Brimtstone Driver! Man...that must be the only disadvantage to being skinny...the fact that three fine women could be put into that hanous rip-off of the Tombstone Piledriver. (Caped Dude looks at him weird again.) Oh yeah, this whole fed is a whole bunch of mindless morons again...hey, who are these guys. (Security comes out with Uncle Sam looking very nervous...than feeling relaxed when he peers in the ring and sees the girls. Security starts to beat Tommy senseless and drag him away.) Hey...hey I have to announce this...ouch, that was my di...

CD: Well now the dude has all three covered. The ref starts coutning slowly...1... ... ...2... ... ... and the ref collapses! Paul Barber rushes in and picks up the ref's hand...3! BRRDDT wins the match and is advancing into that like, really cool title thingy!

Ring Announcer: You're winner of this match and advancing to the quarter-finals of the FWO Cyberfight Title, Big Red Retarded Demented Dentist Trucker!

[BRRDDT sits up from the pin and heads towards the Yogurt doll. He lifts it high and chokeslams it straight into the middle of the ring. Paul Barber quickly gets him out of the ring. The fans all cheer for the big guy, putting on a splendor performance. He heads over and picks up the Tonka trucks. Paul Barber keeps pulling along BRRDDT, but BRRDDT stops at the top of the ramp. Lifting up his hands, he slams them down and the pyros go off. The two leave leaving the three women and the ref in the ring. Alexandria Parker comes out to go see how her manager and friends are doing.]

CD: Well...folks! That was a great main...HEY!

Wilbur: Oh no you don't! We've been pushed around far too long! This is OUR Broadcast booth! I'm gonna show you Hell first hand! HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Rasklonikov and Arthur restrain Wilbur)

Arthur: Forgive him...he's going through a messy divorce!

Wilbur: Yeah...HAHAHAHHA...divorce! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Raskolnikov and Arthur hold Wilbur down as a shrunbk comes, gives Wilbur a sedative and them takes him to the back.

Arthur: Man...and he's supposed to be the SANE one.

Raskolnikov: Da. Truly bizzare! But folks, the clock is telling me that we are out of time for this weeks card! It is time to say farewell!

Voice: Not so fast!

Arthur: Who?

Voice 2: We may have just been hurt, but BABE's always get the last word!

(Sam-O-Tron flickers on.)

(The scene is outdoors and Tiffany and Nina are standing under a flag pole.)

Tiffany: Surfer Circuit, looking for that skanky hoe, Bonnie? Well, look no further.

(The camera pans up and shows Bonnie tied to the top of the flag pole, strip naked (of course there are black bars censoring her bare essentials.)

Nina: Now it's time for us to give her a make over, Babe Squad style. Hit it boys!

(With that the two women move away from the flag pole as a helicopter hovers over top of it. The men in the helicopter pour tar and then feathers on the screaming Bonnie.)

Tiffany: Payback is a witch, boys. Ciao.

(The Babe Squad high five each other and leave Bonnie stranded.)

(card fades out...)