*********************************************************************
Roy The Ghost: Isn't this were those other guys come out and annoy the hell out of me? BooBoo and JobJob?
("Intergalactic" blasts over the PA system as JoJo comes out ... with the masked JoJo Jabrone guy. They go over to some fan carrying a "JoJo ended Phenom's Career ... with a single Gerbil." The masked JoJo points out another sign saying "JobJob=Ratings... for another channel" JoJo runs over, and rips up the sign. The fan flicks off JoJo, as Security takes the guy out. JoJo laughs and walks to the announcer's table)
Slammin' JoJo: So you're the jabrone that replaced Wilbur?
Roy the Ghost: Yes
Slammin' JoJo: OK then, I am JoJo, and you will do everything I tell you to do, got it?
Roy The Ghost: OK JobJob.
Slammin' JoJo: it's JoJo you jabrone! Just announce the damn match, and don't even talk to me, unless I speak to you.
(As Miss World, by Hole plays, there is huge cheers from the fans. Tiffany Lane steps from behind the curtain, flanked by Nina Larue. Tiffany wears a silver, skin tight bikini and matching boots. Her long, blonde hair falls down her back. Her FWO tag belt is fastened around her trim waist. Nina is clad in a silver, catsuit and matching heels. She carries a silver purse. Both women stand in the entrance way as fireworks go off behind them. They smile at each other and sashay down the aisle, slapping hands with the fans. As Tiffany enters the ring, she smiles and waves her belt in the air triumphantly.)
Slammin' JoJo: Can you believe that, what do you think about it Mr. Mask?
(Masked JoJo just stands there)
Slammin' JoJo: I love having a mute/deaf lookalike! This jabrone rules... Look at those two dykes in the ring ... and that Tiffany bimbo thinks she can beat the Big Red Retard? What do you think about that Roy?
Roy the Ghost: I don't know
Slammin' JoJo: good, I already like you better then Wilbur. Oh No ... here comes Fender Bender ... that jabrone almost hit my blue custom made geo metro yesterday!
("Welcome to the Jungle!" by GNR plays as Fender Bender walks out, mocking Tiffany Lane's Entrance. Rob Raige is absent from his side. He runs to the ring, and rubs his chest and makes fake orgasmic sounds and humps the air, as he stares at Nina and Tiffany.)
Slammin' JoJo: I thought I heard something like that coming from Rebel-X's dressing room earlier tonight ... interesting. Oh look, the jabrone rang the bell! There they go! Oh and Roy, If anyone comes out to interfere, I'm personally gonna throw...(masked guy holds up a bucket of blue paint), that blue paint all over them! It'll stain there body as blue as my hair for a couple of weeks.
Roy the Ghost: Interesting... I hope someone interferes now!
(Tiff runs after Fender Bender, and kicks him right in the temple. Fender wobbles, and fights back with a slap to tiff's ... tit .... chest! Fender giggles like a little kid, as the fans cheer. Tiff stands there with her hands on her hips, then nails Fender Bender with a Gut Wrench Power Bomb! Cover...1..KICKOUT! Fender Jumps up with a shocked look on his face. He tries to grab tiff, but she reverses his hold with a head scissors take down! Once again Fender gets back to his feet in a hurry. His happy little smile is now replaced with an angry look. He kicks tiff hard in the gut, then nails her with a Double Arm DDT! Fender gets up and jumps up in down real fast in excitement. the fans boo him)
Slammin' JoJo: Wow, he hit a girl ... what a man he is! I'd wish he'd just go make to humping himself, that was bringing in more ratings... at least from Kevin Hunter's House.
Roy The Ghost: Huh?
(Tiff gets up slowly from the move, and goes over to distract the ref. Nina jumps in the ring, and grabs fender Bender by the balls! She squeezes and twist them like she's making Orange Juice. Fender Screams in pain, and falls to ground. Tears can be seen falling down his cheeks. Nina gets cheers from some women in the crowd, but some of the guys are holding their own jabrones. Tiff goes for the cover, 1..2.. KICKOUT. Suddenly Insanity comes flying down from the rafters on a bungee cord. He has a bucket in his hand, and dumps a green slime all over Tiffany Lane! She screams at Insanity, as he goes back up to the rafters laughing. Fender sneaks up behinds her, and slaps her ass! Once again, he is giggles like a school girl, only to get a kick to the face by a dripping wet puss...I mean Tiffany Lane! )
Slammin' JoJo: Damn it! That jabrone not only stole my idea of dumping crap on someone's head, but he escaped my blue paint! Wait, oh dear here come the masked Spoots...I mean Surfers. Roy, I'll be right back.
(Four masked surfers come walking slowly down the isle. Suddenly another masked surfer jumps out of the audience, and starts whooping some masked surfer ass! JoJo comes running over with his bucket of blue paint, and splashes all four of the surfers. Then hits one of them over to head witha bucket. The guy from the audience continues beating down the remaining masked surfers. JoJo walks back to the announcer's table.)
Slammin' JoJo: Well, that cheered me up. I thought this was the FWO, not the CWA. Why the hell are there so many damn surfing jabrones!
(Mean while back in the ring Nina is helping dry off the slime off of Tiffany outside the ring.. Fender Bender jumps out with a Suicide Dive taking out both the ladies! the ref starts the count..1..2..3..4...5...6...7 Tiffany gets up first, and gets back into the ring. Fender gets up, but before getting back into the ring, lays a kiss on Nina! He has that girlie giggle again, and jumps on to the ring apron. Tiffany grabs the poor perverted soul, and suplexs him back into the ring. She quickly climbs the to the top rope, and nails Fender with a Frog Splash. There's a cover..1..2... KICKOUT! Nina calls the ref over and begins arguing about something. tiffany runs over, and grabs the tag strap. She places it on the crotch of Fender Bender and once again climbs to the top rope. Flying Headbutt to the crotch of Fender Bender! Tiff's head has a small cut on it. She gets up thought, and picks up Fender Bender, who is gasping for air. Michinoku Driver!!! It looks like it could be time for Tiffany's Secret. She sets him up and nails him with it! There's the cover, 1...2...3! Nina jumps into the ring and helps Tiffany gets rid of Fender Bender' from the ring, they then celebrate the win.
Your Winner: Tiffany Lane via Pin Fall!
Slammin' JoJo: WoW, now if I ever lost to a little girl, I'd have to kill myself, but that poor female jabrone now has to fight BRRDDT for his CF title, and without his daddy, The Tard is more dangerous then ever.
Roy the Ghost: Agreed! What a match, so much perverted action I could hardly stand not touching myself!
(JoJo gets up and leaves with the masked JoJo.)
Roy the Ghost: I was only kidding, come back! Come Back!
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(arthur and Raskolnikov rejoin their spectral comrade.)
Arthur: Why's he get to do commentary?
Raskolnikov: *shrugs* Means we get a 15 minute break. Know how hard it is to stay out here this long without taking a whiz. Thank god for JoJo!
Roy: So long folks! We're outta time!
Arthur: No we aren't!
Roy: I know...but I'm reading from the Tony S. book of "The only 13 things you need to say during a wrestling broadcast to keep marks interested". What's a Mark?
Raskolnikov: Ummm..
Arthur: it's wrestling slang!
Roy: I know slang! Hey baby you're the bees knees! 23 Skiddo! YOWZA! How's that?
Arthur: At least he's not Wilbur...
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Announcer: This next match is for one fall with a 20 minute time limit. Coming to the ring first, along with Honey Majors...from Las Vegas, NV...here is "BLACK KNIGHT" KEVIN HUNTER!
(A mixxed reaction greet these two as they make their way out. Honey gets her share of cheers but the recent controversy around Kevin draws down some boos and mocking.)
Raskolnikov: You know, I think they're as excited about Honey's supposed sexual adventures as they are upset by Kevin's.
Arthur: Ahh, what a poor guy. Getting booed just because of his sexual preference.
Raskolnikov: There should be some kind of homosexual support group in FWO. We're overdoing our quota.
Roy: Wait, who's gay?
Raskolnikov: Where have you been lately? I think Tulu proved to all that Kevin was gay last week. Plus there's Shiva...
Roy: Shiva's gay?
(suddenly the lights go out and the fans cheer like crazy.)
Raskolnikov: You didn't know Shiva was gay?
Roy: No. I just thought he had really good taste.
Raskolnikov: Are you gay?
Arthur: NO! We don't want to know. Besides, the big guy is coming.
(Suddenly each of the four corners burst into flames and the lights come up in a dimly lit red glow.)
Announcer: His opponent, hailing from Death Valley ...here is the FWO CyberFight Champion...THE BIG RED RETARTED DEMENTED DENTIST TRUCKER!
(The crowd pops out of their uncomfortable steel seats as the cyberfight champion comes out from the back. He walks slowly to the ring hugging the cyberfight belt tight and looking around seemingly for his incarcerated father.)
Roy: Aww... poor dumb guy. He looks like he lost his puppy.
Arthur: Actually his daddy.
Raskolnikov: He'll be fine. We should worry about Paul. He better not drop the soap.
Arthur: Both men are in the ring now and are eying each other down. Kevin seems to be trying to find Big Red's weak spot. I'm surprised he doesn't hear that crowd chant.
Raskolnikov: I think that's "homo" they're chanting.
Roy: Homo. Homo. Homo.
Arthur: Stop that!
Roy: What?
Raskolnikov: Hey guys, something weird in the ring.
Roy: Awww... look at that. Kev is giving Big Red a gift. An apple!
Raskolnikov: Maybe he's trying to turn BRRDDT gay.
Arthur: And he's eying that apple... and he's raising his head... Uh oh...
Raskolnikov: Head goes down, apple goes up!
Roy: Cool! A burning apple!
(Kevin just shrugs and chucks the apple back.)
Roy: Oh my God! It's coming right for me!
(The flaming apple passes right through Roy and lands in the crowd where it ignites one of those cheap foam fingers Sam has pawned off on our youth.)
Roy: AHH! AHH! AHH!
Arthur: Stop! It passed through you, man. You're intangible.
Roy: Oh yeah. I forgot.
Raskolnikov: Match started.
Arthur: Hey, Kev nailed a dropkick on BRRDDT's knee. BRRDDT's almost down but stays up. And a pair of kicks to that same knee from BK. BRRDDT is shaky but still up. And a leg sweep from BK and down Big Red goes to one knee. Big Red is trying to get to his feet but Kev is right on it, comes off the ropes and... Bulldog! Kev quickly up to the second rope and elbow drop on the back of BRRDDT's head.
Roy: But Big Red sat right back up! And Kevin nails a kick to his back as he is getting to his feet. A chop down on Big Red's back but its not stopping him from getting up. Another shot to the back and nothing. Kevin looks around the ring and goes at the ropes. Bounce off and he's got Big Red by the head.. And he slams it down to the mat! Big Red rolls around to his back and Kev drops his leg down on his neck! Kev back up but... hey, the big guy sits up! But Kev is waiting for him and comes off the ropes while he's getting up... And another one of those face slammy thingies!
Raskolnikov: Face slammie thingies?
Roy: Hey, I'm a ghost. I don't know the names of the moves.
Raskolnikov: Then why are you doing play by play?
Roy: Um... noone else was.
Arthur: But Big Red just sits up one more time. Kevin with some blows to his head as BRRDDT gets to his feet. A knee to the guts by BK and he hooks him up. BK going for the suplex but BRRDDT blocks it and the reverse! BK goes up in the vertical suplex and down! BK quickly up to his feet and turns to BRRDDT. Clothesline from BRRDDT but BK ducks it and heads across the ring. BK off the ropes and BRRDDT catches him and hits the sidewalk slam. And some crowd commotion.
Roy: Hey check it out! Masked surfers!
Arthur: Four of them and that looks like Saul Davidson leading the bunch.
Raskolnikov: God I hate those surfers...
Arthur: They're heading to the ring and Honey's gonna step in the way. No way she can keep all five of those guys back.
Roy: That Saul guy is laughing at her but... Um, she's reaching into her cleavage. She's got a whip!
Raskolnikov: Ha! She is a dominatrix!
Arthur: Saul is laughing and steps forward... And catches the business end of that whip! That's holding the surfers back!
Raskolnikov: Meanwhile there is an actual match going on and Big Red has thrown Kev back into the corner. A right shot from BRRDDT and another. A third blow and Kev is reeling. BRRDDT grabs hold of him and lifts him right out of that corner and slams him down to the center of the ring! Kev slow to get to his feet and BRRDDT is climbing the ropes! He's up on the top rope and Kev's on his feet. Kev turns to look at the airborne champ and... flying clothesline! BRRDDT rolls to his feet and Kevin's down and hurting.
Arthur: And the surfers have decided to make a full frontal assault on the whip weilding Honey Majors! Honey has the whip waving but she's got 5 guys coming at her. Wait! Up and over the railing comes some bearded guy in a coat and hat and he drops one of the surfers! The rest of them turn their attention on him and a right hand sends that hat and beard flying! Its Blackthorne!
Raskolnikov: And here comes someone from the back. Insanity is running up the aisle way and bulldogs two of the surfers down to the floor! Blackthorne sends another one flying back to the railing as Honey is trying to keep the rest back!
Roy: Hey check out the fighting in the ring. Kev is back on his feet and BRRDDT is looking to end this. BRRDDT going for that powerbomb thing and... WOAH! Kevin just did a... a...
Raskolnikov: Hurricarana!
Roy: Yeah!
Arthur: Surfers have the numbers outside. Insanity and Blackthorne are each occupied with a surfer and Honey has one held back with the whip but Saul and the last sufer have made it past the first line of defenses and are heading to the ring! Up on opposite sides of the ring as BRRDDT and Kev are up to their feet. Both surfers up on the apron and one goes right for Kevin. But a dropkick from Kev! The masked surfer is reeling and discus punch and to the floor! Saul is up on the apron and encouraging BRRDDT... but BRRDDT grabs him by the throat! He takes Saul up and chokeslams him down into the spanish announcer's table!
Raskolnikov: That table never makes it throw a BRRDDT match.
Roy: Two surfers down and three of them fighting outside and BK turns back towards BRRDDT and... Red's got him by the throat! Takes him up and CHOKESLAM! And... the lights are flickering! And Big Red's music starts up! Hey, I thought you guys said you had to get a three count before you win.
Arthur: You do. Someone's coming from the back! Look at that, it's Paul Barber!
Raskolnikov: No its not! He's got red hair hanging down his back! It's Solomon, you idiots.
Roy: Boy, he gained a lot of weight.
Raskolnikov: You're a really dumb ghost. He must have makeup and pillows.
Arthur: And he's got BRRDDT's attention! We may know its Sol but I don't think the big guy does. He's looking out to the tubby EV champ and... Hey! A surfer just sideswiped him! Paul... er, Sol... eh, the fat guy is down!
Raskolnikov: And here comes BRRDDT! He does not look happy!
Arthur: BRRDDT on the floor and a surfer tries to get him back in the ring. CHOKESLAM! Honey wisely slips past BRRDDT but the next surfer doesn't.... CHOKESLAM! And there's Insanity and a surfer. Say it with me, Roy.
Arthur & Roy: DOUBLE CHOKESLAM!
Raskolnikov: Blackthorne looking to calm the big guy down but now he's got a gloved hand around his throat! BRRDDT for the chokelsma but Sol is back on his feet and he's telling BRRDDT no! The Big Guy thinks its his daddy and is stopping! He lets Blackthorne go and Sol points BRRDDT back to the ring. BRRDDT turns and... Kev is waiting for him. He comes off the ropes and plancha through the ropes!
Roy: Wrestling is cool!
Raskolnikov: None of this is wrestling. Its brawling. Its chaos.
Roy: Its FWO!
Arthur: Kevin knows better than to brawl outside the ring with BRRDDT so he sends him back in the ring. The champ getting to his feet while Kevin climbs the apron. BRRDDT turns to Kev and gets a shoulder driven into his guts. BRRDDT hunched over and Kev slingshots himself over his back and rolls him up! 1... 2... kickout!
Raskolnikov: Both men up to their feet and Kev coming off the rope. He's coming from behind at BRRDDT and a roll around DDT... No, BRRDDT just blocks it and stands there! Kev tries to take him down but BRRDDT lifts him into the air and takes him down with a spinebuster! BRRDDT scoops Kev up and here it comes! Brimstone Driver!
Roy: Big Red covers him up... 1... 2... 3!
Announcer: Your winner and still FWO Cyberfight Champion... THE BIG RED RETARDED DEMENTED DENTIST TRUCKER!
Arthur: What a match! Two championship caliber wrestlers went at it tooth and nail, there were 9 people outside, 6 chokeslams, 4 masked surfers, a dominatrix and a tubby makeup covered EV champ!
Roy: Cleanup in the ring area, please. Lots of splattered bodies.
Raskolnikov: At least noone got killed.
Arthur: Shh... don't jinx it.
**********************************************************************
(camera view changes to a happy playground. Shots of the camera crew setting up)
Roy: HEY! SEE-SAW!
Raskie: Shut up! God I hate you!
*roy starts bawling ghost tears*
Arthur: Now look what you've done!
Raskie: YOU SHUT UP!
Arthur: i'm just going to ignore you. Fans..it appears the playground is set up for the SMDW match. Let's see yet another encounter between BT and ferrett.
Roy: hey! How's BT gonna get there so fast?
Raskie: Ummm...
Roy: There's Ferret sitting on a swing! HI FERRET!
Raskie; Thank god for the dead and their short attention spans! HEY! Here comes BT from behind...he shoves Ferret out of the swing and the Hardcore jester scrapes across the ground. BT wrips the swing off and now starts choking Ferret with it. Ferrett gets his arms around BT's neck and stuns him with an ace crusher! BT goes down. Ferret oicks up the swing and uses it as a whip. BT's back gets nice and red. Ferrett with a pick up and a scoop slam onto a merry-go-round!
Roy: WHEEEE!
Arthur: Ferrett gives the merry-go-round a big spin! BT goes around and around! Ferrett sticks out his leg and cracks BT in the head everytime he goes around!
Roy: That's not playing fair!
raskie: Merry-Go-Round stops and BT's comes off the merry go round dazed and dizzy. ferrett with a European uppercut and then a slam on the mat! Ferrett sits BT up under the teeter-totter...and then he goes to the other end! He brings the totter down hard on Blackthorne's skull!
Arthur: BT is down! Ferret with a cover! 1...2...kickout! Ferrett sticks BT on one of those bouncy horse thingers. Ferrett backs up! Goes for a clothesline, but BT ducks! Ferret turns around and the SMDW champw ith a shoulderblock off the horse! Ferrett goes down!
Roy: Hey! Those guys could get hurt!
raskie: BT picks up Ferrett and drapes him across the slide! BT goes up...and comes down driving his heels into Ferret's ribs! Not a playground of mirth!
Arthur: BT with a scoop slam on the slide and a cover! 1...2...kickout! Ferrett is too his feet as BT climbs up the the little wooden fort! off the top with a flying axhandle...but Ferret catches him and turns it into an overhead belly-to-belly suplex! BT hits the ground hard! Ferrett with a series of stomps!
Roy: Where's a policeman? Fighting is illegal!
Arthur: Ferrett irish whips BT into the jungle gym! Ferrett with an avalanche...but BT sidesteps! ferret cracks his head open on the jungle gym! Rollup from behind by BT! 1...2..kickout! BT with a stomachbreaker and another cover! 1...2...th..kickout!
Raskie: BT now whips Ferret brings Ferret to the top of the Jungle Gym! he goes for the Wylde Bomb...but Ferrett with a nicely placed fist to the umm...groin and BT staggers! Ferrett slams BT off the top of the jungle Gym! BT is out! Ferrett poses and then..swan dive headbutt off the top... but BT rolls out of the way!
Arthur: Both men are down and pretty much out! And there must be a winner in SMDW matches!
(after a minute..both men get to their feet)
Wilbur: massive exchange of blows! Both men giving and taking rights and lefts!
Arthur: NOW BT has the advatange! he's laying into the challenger! Ferrett reels, but then stops BT cold with a knee to the stoamch and then a fist to the throat. BT reels and Ferrett runs away. Ferret runs up the Teeter-totter and when Blackthorne chases him, he jumps down, sending the teeter totter right into Blackthorne's genitals! Hey! Does BT look like rob to you?
Wilbur: Ferret runs and clotheslines him. He sets up for the Jabrone Killer, but Blackthorne wriggles away and delivers The Thorne right to the back of Ferret's head! It's over!
Roy: What's over?
Raskie: He shoves Ferret to the side, and BT hears a car horn. He turns around DEAR LORD! The FWO Camera Crew Van, going about 30 MPH, nails him! BT flies about 45 feet and lands in the sandbox, unconcious.
Arthur: "OH MY GOD! BLACKTHORNE JUST GOT HIT BY A SPEEDING VAN!"
(Camera cuts to inside the Van, where Eric Williams is driving. Ironic by Alanis Morisette is playing on the radio.)
Enforcer: "Nice shot, Eric!"
Eric: "It's like RAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIN, ON YOUR WEDDING DAY! IT'S A FREE RIDE, WHEN YOU'VE ALREADY PAID!"
Enforcer: "TAKE THAT, BLACKTHORNE!"
(The van speeds away)
Roy: How's the camera crew gonna get home?
Arthur: What? How can you ask that?
Raskie: Eric and Enforcer must have been in the FWO camera van before it took off to this unknown location. That's evil! BT must be brusied or broken!
Arthur: Ferrett is to his feet! He sees the Injured Bt and laughs! He walks over and goes to pick up Blackthorne...SMALL PACKAGE BY THE CHAMP! 1...2...3!!! How'd he do that?
Announcer: The winner and STILL SMDW champion...BLACKTHORNE!
Arthur: ferrett gets up stunned. BT pulled that last pit of energy from deep inside. Ferret is not a happy loser and he attacks the injured Blackthorne! Pick up and...Jabrone Killer on the See-saw! BT's jaw cracks hard and he spits out a tooth. More stomping by Ferrett! Now he kicks him in the gut once for good measure and walks off. BT may have won the match...but damn...is he in any condition to meet Solomon next week?
Roy: Who's solomon?
*********************************************************************
Arthur: Well...the clock says it's time for the world title match...
Roy: What? Clocks don;t talk.
Raskolnikov: Mine does!
Roy: Get out!
raskolnikov: No really...(pulls out a chicken clock. he raps on the comb and the chicken's mouth starts moving)
Chicken alarm clock: WOW! YEAH! HEY BABY WAKE UP! COME AND DANCE WITH ME!
Roy: KEEN!
Arthur: oh bloody hell. Can we just have the world title match and keep the inane comments to yourselves!
Announcer; This next match is for the FWO world title. Coming to the ring first, along with mandy...here is the challenger, "attitude" Adam Agee!
(Fans that would normally be cheering for Adam boo harshly...as they'd rather see the bear.)
Roy: HE'S going to wrestle the bear????
Raskolnikov: Yup...
Roy: i'll be damned...which of course is purely a what'd you call it, metaphor?
Announcer: His opponent, from the woods of Yellowstone and standing 12 feet tall...here is the FWO World heavyWeight Champion... The North American Grizzly Bear!
Fans: BROWN-BEAR! BROWN-BEAR!
(Afetr a few seconds the bear comes out, slugglish and slowly. Maybe one too many pieces of Funeral fudge.)
Roy: That bear's gonna eat him!
Raskolnikov: That's what the sponsors are hoping....
Arthur: bear meanders into the ring! Adam with a baseball slide to it's leg! bear gives out a mighty roar and swings..but Adam runs like hell and escapes. Bear snarls at Adam...but that's all. Adam leaps off the top rope with an axhandle and crashes intot he bear's skull. Adam rolls out of the ring before the bear can react! bear turns and looks at Adam. Bear snarls, but then goes back to sitting against the corner. Adam sees the bear just sitting. Adam slinks up behind it and mounts the buckles it sits on! Adam goes for a whippersnapper...but as he flips over the bear's head...the bear wraps his arms around the challenger and gives him a sort of inverted bear hug!
Roy: HAHAHAHAHA! You made a pun!
Arthur: it's not a pun! it really is called a bear hug!
Raskolnikov: Adam reaches back and gets a thumb to the bears eye..which only engrages it more and he hurtles adam into the opposite corner. Adam hits hard and crumples to the mat. That's gotta hurt! hell, the ring's till wobbeling! Mandy's on the apron trying to distract the bear with popcorn. Bear wanders over and starts munching. Manyd looks pretty nervous. Adam crawls over and tries to roll up the bear...but he's half a ton! Too damn heavy! Bear looks down..and sits on Adam's left arm! Adam cries out and the bear keeps eating the popcorn. Mandy screams! Adam screams in pain. bear just sits...upset the popcorn is all gone. Adam tries to pull his arm free...but it's not good. He screams at Mandy and she takes off for the back! Just like a woman: runs away whebn things get tough! Now from the crowd! it's ferrett and JoJo! They have...guns! Ohmigod! they're going to shoot the bear! They aim...but are tackled by security and a horde of ASPCA, PETA and Greenpeace officals come out and attack ferrett and JoJo! Angry mob! Angry Mob! Ferrett and JoJo are being battered by every day tree huggers! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Roy: I like trees...
Arthur: Mandy has come back with a pan of lasagna for the bear! Bears like pasta! The champ gets up and shambles over to mandy, freeing Adam's arm! Adam holds it and shakes it out! The bear is eating the pasta and now... Adam with a low blow! The bear roars in fury and turns around! Adam starts to run...but the bear grabs him by the arm and yanks back! OHMIGOD! Did you hear that popping noise? Adam screams and drops to his knees! Bear raises his arms up and brings a mighty axhandle blow down on Agee's skull! Adam is out! But the bear doesn't know how to pin! The bear now shakes his head and Mandy claps her hands in delight! I think that pasta was drugged! Bear starts swaying...and now he falls to dreamland...ONTO ADAM! Ohh what a crunch! Ref with a count! 1....2....thre...bear rolls off Adam...and Adam starts convulsing and spitting up blood. This is not good. bear sits up!
Roy: is the bear kane?
Arthur: Don't say that word! and no..he's not!
Raskolnikov: The bear is to his feet! He growls....and here comes a park Ranger from Yellowstone! What that hell?
Ranger: HERE KISSYFUR!
Raskolnikov: The bear stands perfectly still and turns around! He growls in recognition of the park ranger! The Bear's name is Kissyfur??? The ranger comes up to the apron and gives the Bear...whose name is KISSYFUR, What the (*&(*&(*&?, a big chocolate bunny. The bear eats it and then twitches! The bear falls to the mat with a thud! Oh crap! Here comes Sam!!!!
Sam: What are you doing! That's MY bear!
Ranger: No it's not! it's Yellowstone Park's bear! He has a tracker embedded in his fur! We've been following him since you destroyed our park and spooked the wildlife! You know what the fine for stealing a bear is???
Sam: Umm...he followed me home. honest!
Arthur: Adam crawls to the unconcious bear! His arm may be broken, his ribs damaged and his head trickling blood...but he's still trying! he drapes an arm on the world champ! 1...2.......th...r....e....e!!!!
Fans: BOOOOOOOO!
Ranger: the bear is going back where it belongs!
Sam: I'l sue! I'll SUE!
Ranger: I'm sure the director of Parks and Wildlife would be happy to countersue for misappropriations of National Wildlife.
Sam: Ummm....Mind if we say goodbye after the show. a party or something?
Ranger: Yes.
Announcer: Here is your winner...and NEW FWO heavyweight champion..>Adam Agee!
(adam tries to stan, but his legs buckle and he passes out in a pool of his own blood. Mandy comes in the ring, clutches the world title and cries over Adam's body. Fools Corw and some EMT's put Adam on a gurney and they take off for the nearest hospital.)
Arthur: Well...We have a NEW world champ...but what condition is he in? JOJO and ferret have been arrested for trying to shoot the bear...not to mention getting their asses kicked by hippies and whatever happened to Kiddice???
(Camera cuts to BRRDDT standing by a river with the squirming bodybag. BRRDDT swings the bag around and watches it go flying into the brink and sink in a matter of seconds.)
Raskolnikov: Good riddance!
Roy: Is the bear dead?
Arthur: NO...just asleep
Roy: That's what my mom used to say when my pets died...
Raskolnikov: YOU'RE dead! Can;t you tell another dead guy?
Roy: I can tell another GHOST...
(Camera shot of 6 park rangers rapping the ex-world champ into anet and dragging him off while Sam screams about lost profit and lawsuits.)
Arthur: Well folks...it's that time again!
Roy: That's right! Time for the greatest three hours of wrestling around! NITRO!
Arthur: You bloody twat! This is the FWO! You know how much you've cost us! I hope Sam fires your ass!
Raskolnikov: And the show is DONE! DONE! OVER!
(Card fades with them yelling at Roy until he starts blubbering again)