Shiva: Well..it's finally time for the Cf title match! Will Tiffany Lane be the first wrestler to hold two titles at once? Or is she going down hard to the dead man?

Tulu: Or, hopefully, will they both be accosted by Serbian terrorists and forced to watch C-Span via the "clockWork Orange" treatment?

Shiva: What?

Tulu: nevermind...

Announcer: This next match is for one fall with TV time limit remaining. It is for the CYBERFIGHT championship! Coming to the ring first, along with Nina larue and Anastasia...here is one half of the FWO World Tag team Champions...Tiffany Lane!

(The fans are surprised as they hear classical music being played. The Babe Squad comes out followed by three other women. They are all wearing sleek, elegant, gold gowns. They pause at the top of the entrance and the women engage in a small, ballroom dance routine with some men in tuxedos. Suddenly the men depart and the music switches to a sensual, latin beat. The women rip off their gowns to reveal gold bikinis. Tiffany leads the women in a sensual, bump and grind to the delight of the male fans. This continues for a short time, getting the crowd excited. Nina and Tiffany high five each other and race to ringside, followed closely by Anastasia who carries the tag belts across her shoulders.)

Announcer: And her opponent...from DEATH VALLEY (fans erupt) Weighing in at 328 pounds..here is the CF champion! The Big Red Retarded Demented Dentist Trucker!

(Lights go out and a familliar tune strikes up! Pyro ignites from all four corners of the ring...but no BRRDDT champ)

Tulu: where the hell is he?

Shiva: maybe he got lost without his pappy?

(lights come back on and still no BRRDDT.)

Tulu: he doesn't show up...he'll lose this match by forfeit!

ref: 1....2....3....4....

(BRRDDT sticks his head out. Fans cheer)

Tulu: about damn time!

(BRRDDT comes out disheveled. His usual outfit is soiled with all sorts of stuff. His hair is a rat's nest and he has only one boot on his foot. The other is on his hand.)

Shiva: What a great champion!

Tulu: big red rolls into the ring and Tiffany pounces on him! She is on his back, grabbing his hair and trying to choke him with it BRRDDT gets to his feet! Tiff stays on his back. BRRDDT backs her into a corner. BRRDDT turns around...and backs off. What? we want blood. BRRDDT tries to leave the ring, but Anastasia blocks his path! Tiff with a rollup! Not even a two count! BRRDDT to his feet! tiff with a dropkick...but the big man doesn't move! BRRDDT turns to leave again...and now He's blocked by Nina AND Ana! Tiff from behind with a low blow! NO AFFECT! BRRDDT turns around andgrabs her by the throat! He picks her up! YES! Choke slam! WHAT? NO! He hands her to Nina and Anastasia. BRRDDT slumps in a corner and tries to chew his boot off his hand...but that mask presents problems! Tiff gets back in the ring. She walks over to the corner and screams at the champ. Big red looks up despondant. Tiff kicks him in the face! THAT got a rise out of him! He gets to his feet and Stalks her! She runs around the ring...BRRDDt follows..buyt is tripped by Ana! ref warns Ana! In comes Nina and the two double team the champ with stomps and eye gouges!

Shiva: They set BRRDDT up in a corner! ref turns around and only sees Tiffany pulling off a beautiful Monkey flip on the champ! BUT HE SITS UP! Tiffany grabs BRRDDT's arm and whips him into the turnbuckles! Handsrping elbow attempt... but he sidesteps it! He grabs Tiff's hair and gets ready to slam her face into the turnbuckles..but he lets go and backs off! Man...doing the pacifist thing tonight! What's up with him? BRRDDT now blocks a series of karate kicks form Tiff. She goes for a head scissors takedown..but he jerks back and she falls to the mat. BRRDDT tries to leave again! Ana and Nina block his way up ther ramp as the ref counts. BRRDDT is distracted and Tiff takes full advantage with an asai moonsault! BRRDDT his the ground. Ana and Nina each grab a leg and Lane puts the heel of her boot straight into the nad sac! Owie! Now she rolls him back in the ring! BRRDDT sits up as Tiff spreads her arms! Tiff off the top with a high cross body..but BRRDDT catches her! BRRDDT hoists her into BRIMSTONE DRIVERposition...then he drops her and tries to walk away again!

Tulu: The fans are booing and I don't blame 'em! They came to see wrestling!

Shiva: they came to a WEDS card...and they expected wrestling?

Tulu: You're right..this fits perfectly with Weds. Mentallity! WHOOO!

Shiva: HUH??? The lights just went out! But Big red is already in the ring!

Tulu: It's...THE UNDERBAKER! And a bakers dozen worth of druids standing on the entry ramp! Underbaker goes down to one knee and raises his arm! The druids rush the Fly girls, Nina and Ana! Big time battle of the sexes brawl!

Shiva: The dancers kick at the druids! The druid bash the dancers with pans of funeral fudge! And UB just trods down pointing at Tiffany and BRRDDT! Tiff from behind with a low blow on the CF champ! He turns around! He kicks Tiff in the crotch! Tiffany slumps to the mat! UB enters the ring! The ref warns him..but he shoves the ref into the neutral corner! he grabs Tiffany by the hair! he now grabs he throat and lifts her into the air! he's gonna choke slam her...but BRDDT spins him around and kicks him in the gut! Ub drops the tag champ! BRRDDT and UB stare down each other! BRRDDT flicks the hair out of his head and turns away! UB scowls and spins the CF champ around! Pick up by the throat! BRRDDT just got choke slammed! Ref calls for the bell! BRRDDT's gonna win this by DQ!

Tulu: BRRDDT sits up and something under the ring bursts into flames!

(CREEEEEEAK)

Shiva: OH *^(*^*^! The ring just collapsed! Tiff, UB and big red are buried in that mess! Outside the Druids have beaten down the dancers! Ana and Nina try and sift through the wreckage!

Tulu: Hmmm. massive chaos. Possible injury. Good way to end the card?

Shiva: no...

Tulu: what if I told you Sam's outta jail and he's coming for us?

Shiva: how'd you know that?

Tulu: (points) That's him carrying a bowie knife.

Shiva: Canada sounds good thisd time of year.

Tulu: winnipeg?

Sam: Come here you BASTARDS!

Shiva: Winnipeg!

Sam: ARRRRRRRGH!

Shiva: YOINK!

(card fades out with Sam chasing both commentators through the crowd. HiD crawls out from under the announcing desk and he barks at the people sorting through the ring rubble)