Annoucer: "Making his way to the ring now, the FWO's only Mime and a damn SASSY dresser, the Psycho Mime!

("Suspended in Gaffa" by Kate Bush plays as the crowd sleeps in anticipation of the FWO non-Pay Per View debut of Psycho Mime. From up in the rafters a wire line is seen extending to the upper right ring post, and Psycho Mime is spotted by the fans. Shaking his little mime fist, the Mime of Legend picks up a towel that he happens to have left lying next to him, and places it on the wire. He then waves to the crowd and takes the towel in his gloved hands and slides down the wire. )

Sam: Well...this is good.

Talbot: This guy is serious twisted. Claiming to be a mime from another world in another dimension???

(Suddenly a fan throws a beer can at the Mime and his right hand loses its grip. Luckily for the little mime, he's at the guard rail and only crushes his chest cavity as he slams into it.)

(Crawling from about behind the guard rail, the Sassy Psycho Mime valiantly makes his way into the ring, clutching several pieces of paper in his hands. Just as he is about to get through the ring ropes, a man in a nice tuxedo rushes the ring and tramples over him. The tuxedo man notices Psycho Mime. )

Tuxedo Man: I'm here to translate for Psycho Mime. Psycho Mime?

(The Little Mime manages to raise his hand. He struggles up to his feet and moves his hands in a mime.)

Tux Man: Mime says he's hear today to do a mime on Knives: A kids best friend!

(The crowd cheers because they're stupid.)

(psycho Mime mimes a cough to get read and "Alley Cat" begins to play over the cheap PA system. Psycho Mime then mimes having a sharp knife and cutting up stuff... mysterious stigmata begins to appear on the Tuxedo Man.)

Tuxedo Man translation: Knives and Children are a perfect fit. Children are naturally inquisitive and have busy hands and fingers, perfect for a good sharp knife.

(Psycho Mime starts to air gut something and pull out the insides as the Tuxedo man begins to bleed profusly and doubles over.)

Tuxedo Mime translation: Ow... um, Children can also use knives to face big bullies and gut them effortlessly like a small mouth bass.

(Psycho Mime sits down and crawls on the ground. He then acts as if he is an old man and makes stabbing motions again. The Tuxedo man is now a bloody mess )

Tuxedo Man translation: Infants and toddlers will learn vital hand eye coordination that will prevent them from being useless old geezers... all in all... knives arrrrrrrrrre fun for children of... allllllllll agessssssssssssssss...

(The Tuxedo man slumps over and dies. )

Sam: Hmmm...that's a hard one. On one hand, it was educational and has taughts countless millions how to kill properly with knives. As well, he has those neat powers! On the other hand...someone died. That's not good for stimulating kids minds. Hmmm. I think I'm going to have to declare this a draw between Shamus and Psycho Mime. We'll have to have a spontanious poetry reading to decide the winner.

(Shamus glares at the Mime. Solomon looks upset that he has lost the title. Psycho Mime is estatic... He's alive! He is jumping up and down then, from out back, the FWO World Champion North American Grizzly Bear rushes the stage, seeing his natural enemy. The Mime steadies himself and charges... getting caught between the ring ropes and is quickly turned into a warm meal by our FWO Champion. )

Bear: RARRRRRRRGH! RARRRR!

Fans: BROWN-BEAR! BROWN-BEAR!

Psycho Mime: *mimes desperate cries for help and screams of utter pain*

BEAR: RARRRRRRRRRRR!

Psycho Mime: *Mimes the sound of bones breaking, ateries collapsing and internal organs squishing like tomatoes being pelted at a little D&D playing dice chucker*

BEAR: RARRRRRR!

(Bear mashes the mimes ribs a few times in his maw and runs off through the crowd with the mime's limb carcass hanging from the bear's teeth.)

Fans: BROWN-BEAR! BROWN-BEAR!

Sam: Well..um...I guess we don't need a poetry read-off! The winner and NEW Educational Values Champion...SHAMUS O'REILLEY!

(Shamus grabs the belt and slaps Matt a hi-five. Honey glares at Sam and Solomon looks rather dejected.)

Honey: Eat hiM!

HiD: RARRRRRRR!

Sam: AHHHHH!

(more animal on human carnage ensues with Hid mauling Sam. Honey has an evil smile on her face and kevin looks disapointingly at her.)

Honey: Maybe he's good for a few things after all...

Sam: NOT THE HIP! NOT THE HIP!

Kevin: Don't abuse him like Sam would! Man...now I know how Darque feels...

Solomon: Eat him good!

(the Wise ones walk off. and Sam is left in the ring resembling what remains of Psycho Mime. EMT's come out and load Sam onto a stretcher. HiD hacks up flesh in the middle of the ring.)

talbot: Well..a New EV champion is crowned...and the score is Animals: 2, Gibbering Idiots: 0.

(HiD comes back to the announce table.)

HID: RERRRRR!

Talbot: We need a replacement now! Someone want to get us one???

(Suddenly "Walk Like An Egyptian" by the bangles blares over the loudspeaker. Tulu Marduk walks out obviously unhappy.)

Tulu: *into a mike* Shiva, you stupid Limp-wristed pillow biter! That's not my music!

Shiva:*over loudspeaker* Sorry...couldn't find "Kill It" By Fight. But on the bright side...it's catchy and has the Word Egyptian in it.

Tulu: *Mutters some profanity under his breath and sits down by Talbot* Hey Hey chunky Monkey and Lizard breath....it's everyone's favorite Mad Arab joining you for this last match. *hangs his head* Poor Poor Sam...too bad it wasn't longer...and done by squirrles. Those suckers bite when you swing'em around by the tail!

talbot: You are a cruel monster.

Tulu: And you need Jenny Craig...but you don't here me singing, "Fat Fat fatty fat! No friends Fatty Fat" when you clomp downt he street, do you?

talbot: *sigh* Let's just call the match!

Announcer: THis next match is a tag team contest set with television time limit remaining. The winner of this match will also recieve a WORLD TAG TITLE SHOT this Sunday against the Champions, The Edge of Insanity! First...along with their new manager Anastasia...here are Tiffany Lane and Nina Larue...the Babe Squad!

(As Sexy MF by Prince plays, The Babe Squad races out to a mix of cheers, catcalls and whistles. The two beauties smile and slap hands with the fans. They wear identical, sexy, gold, catsuits and matching boots. Along with them is a 6'2" behemoth of a woman. She however, recieves no cat calls from the men...)

Tulu: Hmmm. Guess she's russian. Russian name..russian build...russian mustache. Maybe ol' Raskolnikov can woo her with a little reciting of Lenin...

Talbot: Will you stop?

Tulu: Here comes the special ref. The FWO's first ever FEMALE ref. Sean and River demanded Sam hire a chick or they'd sue him of sexual discrimination. Wish i'd thought've that....

Talbot: Sounds more like a plot to keep the ref from falling victim to feminine wiles...

Announcer: Their opponents...from the surf, and accompanied by Bonnie...here are Sean Ryan and River Snow...the Surfer Circuit!

(Fans give off a mixed reaction...but they quickly hush as Two men in black masks, wet suits and surfboards come down. The lady they are accompnied with also wears a mask.)

Talbot: Okay...what's up with this? Is it an attempt to mask from the ref who they are? They're two different builds! Someone drank a bit too much sea water.

Tulu: Who cares? Let'em wear Tiki masks and shout obsecenities in french. Just as long as someone bleeds tonight!

Talbot: Nina and I guess the bigger one if River are starting off. The young lady who must be bonnie..this is so bloody dumb...has that CF title with her. BRRDDT is probably looking for that...

Tulu: Lock up. River pushes the young lady into the ropes! ref calls for a break....but River with a forearm to the chest and then a bitchslap across the face! Nina fumes and tackles River, pulling at his mask and trying to get her nails in the eyeholes! Ref screams at the two to break it up. Nina lets up and River to his feet. Lock up. Nina with a knee to the bread basket and a front chassis head lock! Nina tries for a double arm suplex...but River with a block and a back drop..which Nina reverses into a sunset flip...but River smashes the heels of his boots into her temple and reverses the cover! 1...t..kickout! Both to their feet again! They stare hard and cold at each other and tag in their respective partners! Tiffany and Ryan lock up. Sean with a go behind and a hammerlock! NIna with an elbow to the face and then a snap mare which ryan reverses into an armdrag into an armlock! Tiffany rakes the eyes to get free and then drop toe holds Sean to the mat! That is Sean, right? The little putz? Tiffany kicks Sean right in the tail bone...yowtch...then smiles and does it again!

talbot: Sean to his feet, but a front headlock by Tiffany! She goes for a front suplex, but Ryan blocks and reverses it into a Northern Lights! Ryan kippups to his feet and kicks Tiffany right in the side of the face. Ryan bounces off the ropes and as Tiffany gets up, he slams her back down with a hurnacanrana! Tiff back up, but Ryan with a hip toss and then a low dropkick to the back of her neck! Cover! 1..2...kickout! Sean goes up top! He waits for ms. Lane to get up! Flying axhandle off the top...but Tiffany with a dropkick to the torsos and Sean does a 180 in the air and hits the ground butt first! Tiffany picks him up and slams him to the mat! Tag to Nina. Ladies with a double Stomachbreaker! River comes in with a double clothesline, but the ladies duck, turn around, kick River in the gut and back drop him out of the ring! Surfer reconvene on the floor with the Babe Squad taunting them from inside the ring! Wait...something's coming from under the ring...it's it's...THE REAL SURFERS! Ref and Babes are paying attention to the imposters! Sean with a german suplex on Tiffany from behind and River with a pendulum brainbuster! Ana tries to help her friends...but the masked goons prevent her from reaching them! ref turns around and does a double take! He's got to allow the real surfers in as they were the scheduled opponents! Evil! Sean with a snap suplex on Lane and River with a shoulderbreaker! ref stops the carnage and tells River to go to his corner. Nina rolls out of the ring to the apron.

Tulu: Ryan with a front chassis headlock on Tiffany and then an underhook face driver! gotta be over! 1..2....thr..kickout! Tiffany Is hoisted onto the top turnbuckle and Sean goes up! Superplex! 1...2...thre..kickout! Unbeliveable! Sean goes up top and spreads his arms... Riptide! NO! Tiffany rolls out of the way! Sean hits hard and grabs his arm in pain. Tiffany with an armbar applied and Sean cries out! Sean is not giving up...but he's far from the ropes! ref checks on Sean, still he won't give up! Tiffany with a free arm tags Nina and larue comes in with a springboard legdrop onto that arm! Tiffany leaves the ring and Nina hoists Sean to the mat! Big European uppercut by the brazen beauty and then a spinning side slam! Nina bounces off the ropes and hits a Sullivan stomp right into the intestines of Ryan! Cover! 1...2..thr..save by River with a knee from the second turnbuckle! Tiffany comes in to help her partner, but ref pushes her back! Surfers take advantage of ref's stupidity with a double Russian legsweep! Ref turns around and sees Ryan with a fist full of larue's hair and smashing her face first into the mat! Sean with a tag to River! Both men with a pick up and a double Scoop slam followed by a double jumping neck snap! Cover by River! 1...2...thr...foot on the ropes! River whips Nina into the neutral corner! Russian sickle coming up..but Nina extends a leg and catches River on the jaw! River reels and Nina with her last bit of strength bulldogs River into the canvas!

Talbot: Both are down! Ref counts! Sean and Tiffany call out to their respective partners. River is crawling. Nina is still down! River inches...inches...HE MAKES THE TAG! Sean Ryan runs in the ring...but Nina presses off the mat and leaps...tagging in Tiffany! Lane with a springboard shoulderblock, stunning the Surfer! Tiffany with a pickup and an inverted atomic drop followed by a head scissors takedown! River comes back in and swings at Tiffany, but she ducks and grabs both surfers by the hair...Noggin knocker! Nina Comes in and Both Babes grab a surfer! The irish whips the Surfers into each other, but Ryan leapfrogs over River...and Collides with the referee! oh no! Now there's a brawl going on and the rulebook is down the toilet! All four are in the ring brawling! Nina with a jumping side kick to the jaw of River and he tumbles over the top rope! NIna tries to wake the ref While Sean and Tiffany exchange fists, forearms and open hand slaps in a corner! HEY! Here comes Kevin Hunter! he walks slowly to the ring, carrying to spray cans and smiles and swaggers down the entry ramp! The masked surfers go to meet him... but Anastasia from behind with a double low blow on each of them!

Tulu: Nina and River eye The Black Knight cautiously with Tiffany and Sean continue their battle! From the fans and over the guard rail...it's Blackthorne! Blackthorne leaps on the apron by Nina and taps her on the shoulder...she turns around and then BT grabs the shocked NIna and hits her with a face first power bomb to the floor! GOD NO! BT Smiles River claps And BT does a cocky bow! Tiffany picks up Sean in the ring...Michinoku driver! That's her set-up move! BT from behind with a tap on the shoulder...she turns around..and gets a face full of Muta flavored mist in the eyes! Tiffany falls to the mat! HAHAHAHA! And there's no ref to stop this! Sean gets to his feet! Kevin grabs the unsuspecting river from the apron and kicks him in the gut! Power bomb on the floor! Sean sees this and tackles Blackthorne! Both Surfer and the SMDW champ go at it! Kevin starts to go into the ring to help his partner...but the black guy from sunday with the skull makeup and bad tailor pulls Kevin to the floor and shoves him! Both get into a fist fight! From the back comes the guy in the full skeleton body suit and he has a chair! WHAM BABY! Kevin hunter goes down and the guy in the body suit does a jig! The masked Surfers are up and they attack the Skeleton guys! BT and Sean Ryan int he middle of the ring trying to punch each other's lights out! Three teams going at it with one legal team utterly out cold!

(suddenly...the lights go out...and the fans cheer)

Talbot: Oh yeah! OH YEAH! It's reckoning time!>

(lights go back on and standing behind BT and the /\lternative is none other then the CF champ.)

Talbot: Both BT and Sean turn around..and get a throat full of BRRDDT's fist! Pick up and...DOUBLE CHOKE SLAM! Outside Surfers and Skeletons brawl with Hunter getting some punches in! BRRDDT kicks BT out of the ring and goes after Kevin Hunter! Ref starts to come to! Ryan is out cold! River is out cold and bleeding from the head! Nina is out on the floor...and Tiffany...Tiffany crawls over to Sean Ryan! Ref is one one knee and sees the massive brawl on the floor! Tiffany is inches away amnd...makes the cover! ONE....Kevin gets Blackthorne up and they take off....TWO...BRRDDT and the Skeletons assult the masked surfers....THREE!!! BABES WIN IT! BABES WIN! BLOODY HELL!

Announcer: Here are your winners...THE BABE SQUAD!!!!

(Fans cheer. The black skeleton guy blows a handfull of powder into the eyes of the masked Surfers and both are blinded. BRRDDT grabs his title from the masked lady and all three scary necro types guys walk off together.)

Tulu: Talk about your screw jobs! So many twists, so much interference...so much CHEATING! I love it!

(Shot of Tiffany's hand being raised...but she's barely concious enough to tell that she's won. EMT's come to check out both teams that were SUPPOSED to be involved in this matchup)

Talbot: Babes get their shot at the tag title gold...but are they in any shape to win them this sunday! What's up with healthy and Hardcore attacking both teams? Who are these skeletal men? Who are the masked surfers? and Who is on who's side???

Tulu: WHOOO! Anarchy for all! Next we just need some DDT and kool-aid and a cult of Moonies and we are set!

Talbot: Shut up you vile fiend!

Tulu: Walking septic tank!

HiD: ARRRRRR!

Talbot: FOlks...we're outta time. No idea what shape either team is in...we'll have that more you soon hopefully. For Tulu, Sam and Hid...this is Lord talbot...GOOD NIGHT!

(Shot of Tiffany on her feet outside bending over Nina. Sean is concious...but still hurt. River is next to Nina bleeding...)

(fade out. Show ends.)