Nina: Venom making his way up that cage. He's pretty fast for a big guy. Wait! Fender is back up and is climbing the cage after him. He grabs Venom by the leg, trying to pull him back down. But Venom is trying to shake him off. And now both men come crashing back down to the mat!
Tiff: Gee, I've only seen that happen like at /every/ steel cage match I've ever seen.
Nina: Both men are on the mat and Venom makes it to his feet first. He grabs Fender and begins ramming his face into the turnbuckle. But Fender reverses it and begins bashing Venom's head into the turnbuckle! He grabs Venom by the head and bulldog! He grabs Venom and slams him into the cage! Fender starts climbing the cage and now Venom is in pursuit! Fender sees Venom and dives of the cage with a drop kick, hitting Venom in the face. Both men are on the mat again and Fender with a bodyslam followed by a back breaker. he covers and 1.....2.......Venom gets the shoulder up!
(Fender whips Venom to the ropes. Venom tries a clothesline but Fender ducks, catching him with a belly to belly suplex. He picks up the plunger and jabs Venom in the throat with the handle. He lifts Venom and sends him crashing to the mat with a Liger bomb! He covers but Venom kicks out at 2! He grabs Venom by the head and smashes his face into the cage. He repeats the move and follows with a power slam! He goes to the top rope and connects with a shooting star press!)
Nina: I think Venom is out of it. Now Fender is climbing the cage. He makes his way to the top and stops. What is he planning now!
Tiff: He executes the Crash Course from the top of the cage!
Unbelievable! This match is over! And now Fender exits the cage.
(The bell rings as Fender stumbles from the ring. The ref holds his hand in the air.)
Announcer: The winner of the match is Fender Bender!
(There is huge applause from the fans!)
Nina: That was a great match. Both men put their all into this match.
Tiff: Are you kidding me? A cage match with no blood! I've never heard of something so foolish!
Nina: Come on, Tiff. We do have a match to get to.
Tiff: Not even a drop of blood! Not even a thin trickle!
(The Babe Squad leave to cheers, Tiffany complaining the whole way.)
Wilbur: Now those dames can come and take over anytime. Where I was sittting I could see her..
Arthur: Shut up! Man..ever since you're divorce...
Wilbur: DON'T EVER MENTION MY DIVORCE!
Raskolnikov: oy
Wilbur: FOlks...now it's time for yet another battle of the sexes! A chick from france vs...a Mime! What a battle! is Jerry Lewis the special ref? Will they become lovers since French love mimes? Or will it be an all out WAR????
Raskie: Someone's been studying at the Manga Khan school of melodrama!
Announcer: This next match is...the next match! From Milan France....here is wrestler #1. Along with Vanity...this is the self-proclamined "Incredible Champion" Alexandra Parker!
(The fans in the arena give a good pop when "She's a B*tch" by Missy echoes over the PA system. Alexandria steps through the curtains with her "Incredible" title around her waist but her friend Vanity is absent from her side. She wears a powered pink catsuit with white kicking pads covering her shins. On one of the pants legs the word "Incredible" is written down the side. Her hair is neatly tied into a lenthy ponytail that swings a little past her shoulders. On her way to the ring she slaps some hands and stops to admire a man in the audience.)
Raskie: You know...french women Looooove Russian men!
Arthur: I though everyone hated the French though?
raskie: I do! Just letting you know why she fawns all over me and why I have to reject her all the time.
Wilbur: That why she has a restraining order on you?
Announcer: Next...from 114 Mime and Mime Street, Mimeville, Mimeland, MimeWorld, MimeContinet, MimeSolar System, MimeSalaxy, MimeUniverse, MimeDimension...here is PSYCHO MIME!
(big pop for the mime! "Suspended In Gaffa" by Kate Bush plays. The Mime mimes riding a Harley down to the ring..but he loses controls and mimes him crashing into the spanish booth which somehow burts into flames!
Jorge: AHHHH! Fuego! Fuego! estoy en el fuego! Maldígale MIME! Maldígale al infierno!
Wilbur: Mime walks away from the wreckage...and rolls into the ring covered in 2nd degree burns. I doubt he's recovered from the bear mauling either! Poor little guy!
Wilbur: Alexandra picks him up and hip tosses him into the corner! She grabs the mime by the hair and smashes his head intot he turnbuckles!
Fans: 1...2...3...4....5...6....7 (Alexandra has to stop as wrestling fans can't count past seven)
Arthur: Alexandra with a stomach breaker and then a very sexy leg drop! No balding roid junkies here!
Raskie: Pick up and the mime gets a northern lights bomb! Only a two count! Mime struggles to get to his knees! Alexandra kicks him in the jaw and psycho Mime mimes holding his mouth and mimes teeth falling out! german suplex from Parker! 1...2...kickout again! This guy just doesn't stay down!
Arthur: Mime Mimes himself in a box. Alexandra just stares and then kicks his with a savate kick to the chest and then frankenstieners him to the mat!
Wilbur: Mime gets to his feet..but Alexandra clotheslines him out of the ring!
Raskie: Mime falls to the floor and mimes that he hurt his tailbone. Alexandra with an asai moonsault to the floor. Mime Spits up bloot! Parker slams him head first into the steel steps and Mime mimes dialing 911!
Arthur: Mime is rolled back in the ring! Mime gets to his feet as Parker mounts the top rope! Mime mimes a forcefield...but Parker with a flying shoulderblock.
Wilbur: 1...2...kickout! Alexandra is getting frustrated! Snap mare to the mat and then a reverse chinlock! Mime wipes sweat from his brow and mimes that he's in pain. Poor little mime!
Arthur: fans start chanting MIME! MIME! MIME! Mime hears the chants! He's miming that he's hulking up! Alexandra is suprsised! Mime gets to his feet and he makes this weird face that looks like he has hemroids!
Raskie: Mime with three elbows to the gut! Alexandra is stunned! Mime Turns around and hits her with three big fists! Whip into the ropes... BIG BOOT! Mime poses and bounces off the ropes! Here comes a little brown bear!
Wilbur: MImes sees and does drop the big leg! it's a bear with breasts! But the mime doesn't seem to mind! he puts up his dukes and gets ready to attack the bear! Mimes and bears are arch enemies you know! Suddenly from behind...it's Alexandra with the MAN KILLER! She's got it locked! The bear is..taking off it's fur? It was Vanity! Vanity was dressed like a bear!
Raskie: Mime has to tap out! it's over!
Announcer; Your winner...Alexandra parker!
(fans both cheer and boo! poor little mime lies on the mat miming for breath.)
Wilbur: great match! And poor little guy...
(The lights go out, the camera switches to outside the arena. All eyes are on the Sam-O-Tron. It shows the Eddie Heartbreak Surge Bus pulling up before screeching to a stop.)
Wilbur: "Wait a second..."
(The bus opens up, and nothing gets out. It stays this way for about 10 seconds. Then the house lights come back on, to reveal Eddie, Victoria, Enforcer, and Eric Williams standing directly behind Alexandra, drawing an absolutely HUGE pop from the audience. Eric is wearing his Incredible Title, Eddie has a microphone, and Alexandra hasn't noticed them. Eric spins her around and puts her in vertical suplex position.)
Eric: "You want to wrestle with men? We'll treat you like one!"
(Eric slams her down in a jackhammer. He stomps on her and throws her out of the ring and onto the padding outside the ring. Eddie tosses him the mic.)
Eric: "Well, the Incredible Champion and the Natural Boy has arrived in style! I know how much you missed me...er, missed us. We couldn't stay in Europe forever. I want to let everybody know, that the old 'Natural' is dead. I'm not the guy who is a pushover, and lost to Solomon and Nina Larue. I'm the Incredible Champion, I'm the toughest wrestler in the FWO, and I have to say something to The Big Red Retarded Demented Dentist Trucker."
Wilbur: "He's not hard to find!"
Man in third row of the crowd: "I JUST WET MY PANTS!"
(Everybody around the guy who just said that picks up their chairs and beats him to a bloody pulp.)
Eric: "Now, this guy has been pretty much hand fed his opponents. And I'm sick of it. I want him whenever I can. He'll lose that stupid belt. And Sean Ryan, if you want a shot, you'll get it whenever you want it.. The CyberFight belt on the line. This guy is going to learn what it's like to fight a decent opponent."
Eddie: "Yeah right. Well, I couldn't bear (get it?) watching the FWO World title around the waist of a 1000 pound North American Brown Bear. But more on that later. Right now, my main man Enforcer has something to say."
Enforcer: "Damn right. I think that every person who saw what I did to that punk ass Scott Carr at the TGI Fridays Massacre. I was supposed to get a SMDW title shot at the PPV. The 'Supermarket Slugfest' match was my idea! But instead, we had to go to Europe for a short while, and I gave it to Ferret. But now, I want my match. Blackthorne, if you walk out with the belt tonight, I want a title shot. I don't care when, I don't care about any stipulations. But as soon as I get my match, I will prove that I am the most dangerous man in the FWO.
Eddie: "Now about this damn bear. (The 'Brown-Bear' chant starts up, which Eddie lets run for a few seconds before speaking up again.) I think that it is sad that the top 6 wrestlers in the FWO at the time, since I wasn't there, couldn't beat a damn bear. It's just a damn bear, people! So I guess that leaves me. I mean, why should Shamus or AAA get shots? Shamus got beat by AAA twice, and AAA got knocked limp by the bear at the PPV. But Eddie Heartbreak is much different. I'm the most charasmatic, the most athletic, the most popular, and the best looking wrestler in the FWO, hence the name 'Heartbreak'. I didn't give myself this name because it fit better on a t-shirt then 'Hottest Teen Sensation since the New Kids on the Block'. I earned this nickname because I'm cooler, I'm hotter, I'm better, and I'm just too hot to stop! Now hit the music."
("Block Rockin' Beats" by the Chemical Brothers plays as Eddie jumps over the top rope and onto the floor. Enforcer and Victoria Williams follow him. Eric stays in the ring and grabs a microphone. )
Eric: "Wait a second, wait a second. Babe Squad, don't think that I have forgotten about you stealing my title. You'll get yours. That's why I'm the Natural...(long pause as he looks at the crowd)...and you're not."
(Eric follows the rest and heads to the back.)
Wilbur: WOW! What an announcement! The Hot Shots are back in town!
Raskolnikov: And we've just been faxed by Sam. Scottie Thompson has some personal issues right now that he needs to take care of and so he will not be wrestling this Weds! Instead he has given his title shot to Eric Williams! WOW! But Can Eric and his new attitude take out the Big red Machine?
Wilbur: i believe that's copywrighted by both the WWF and the Cincinatii reds!
(Mime gets to his feet after lying in the ring during all this. he is hurt..but still alive.)
Arthur: Well..good to see the little guy is...OH CRAP!
(Down the aisle runs the world heavyweight champ "The North American grizzly bear!)
Fans: BROWN-BEAR! BROWN-BEAR!
Wilbur: The bear tackles the mime out on the concrete floor and shoves the mimes head into his mouth! The bear bites down and shakes the mime furiously! Mime's limbs flail in all directions! The Bear backs up... and BIG SPLASHES the Mime! Mime spews blood from his mouth like a fountain! Every internal orgin must be crushed!
Raskolnikov: How'd the Bear learn to do a big splash?
Arthur: HiD can do a drop kick...
Raskolnikov: Touche!
Fans: BROWN-BEAR! BROWN-BEAR!
Wilbur: The Bear stuffs what remains of the Psycho Mimes body into his mouth and he appears to be rolling it around in there. The Bear hacks him out onto the floor and walks off. guess the mime tasted too SASSY!
Arthur: Oh Shut up! Folks...it's time fot the SMDW match! BT vs. Homely in a golf course! let's go live!
[The scene fades into a golf course where a JoJo and Ferret are playing a round of Mini Golf. JoJo looks around, and notices the camera is on him.]
Slammin' JoJoJ: Ladies and Jabrones!, the following match-up has a twenty minute time limit and is for the FWO Super Machoistic Death Wish Championship ... that really belongs to my hairy little friend over there, however introducing first, he is the FWO SMDW Champion, that never beat Ferret, This jabrone comes from Daytona Beach, Florida, weighing in at 285 pounds and standing at 6 feet, 6 inches, he is a big jabrone and is named.... Diarmuid Blackthorne! I kicked the jabrone's ass in a cage match once by the way.
["Cult of Personality" by In Living Colour plays over the crappy Mini Golf speakers in a terrible quality. Diarmuid Blackthorne walks down into the room with an evil smile on his face. He runs over to the "Caddy Shack" and whips out a some golf clubs, then stares at JoJo for his remarks. JoJo silently says the J-word to him. Than goes to announce the challenger.]
Slammin' JoJo: Jabrones ... now his opponent. This Jabrone comes from the dumps of Springfield, New Jersey from, weighing in at 254 pounds and standing at 6 feet, 1 inches, he is a rip off of a famous cartoon character, but doesn't get as many women, yet plenty of men. This jabrone is Homely J. Simpson! I'm guessing the J stands for Jabrone.
Ferret: HA! Now keep in mind that Blackthrone changed the course we're having the match at, he thought it'd keep me away I guess, but the spoot didn't realize I was an announcer for the match, so ladies and spoots, I let's give out a big HA! to Blackthorne!
["Keep on Rotting in the Free World" by Carcass plays as Homely comes out from behind the big wind mill with a hand full of golfballs]
Slammin' JoJo: Ut Oh, i was wrong, Homely does have balls!
Ferret: Ouch, he's throwing them at BT! That ha got to hurt, Blackthorne just got nailed in the mouth.
(BT wipes his mouth, and notices his hand is covered with blood. HE takes his club and runs towards Homely. There's a Swing, and a miss! BT just put a hole in the wind mill. he tries to get the club out, but is whacked in the back of the head with one of the wind mill's props. BT shakes it off, he picks up Homely and and throws him into a near by pond. suddenly a large Swan comes out with two babies. BT runs into the pond and tries to hold Homely unde the water.)
Ferret: DUCK!
Slammin' JoJo: It's a Swan, and it looks to be pissed that those two jabrones scared it's babies.
(Homely and BT continue to wrestle around the pond. They keep getting closer..and closer... and CLOSER ... too the pissed off Swan mother. WHACK! The Swan nails Homely with it's beak. WHACK! It starts pecking on BT's arm! They stop trying to drown each other and run as fast as they can out of the pond. Homely goes and hides behind JoJo and Ferret. As BT goes looking for more weapons.)
Ferret: hey! Get out there and fight! You little spoot!
[Ferret grabs Homely by his tights and throws him out onto hole # 12, the King Kong Hole. Homely looks around, and notices the big mechanic ape moving it's arms onto of a 10 foot replica of the Empire State Building. He begins to climb it, as BT comes waking around from behind the model with a dead swan!]
Slammin' JoJo: The Jabrone Killed a Swan! The Animal Rights Jabrones aren't gonna be happy with Uncle Sam for that!
Ferret: Ha! But BT doesn't know that Homely is standing 11 feet in the air behind him, on top of King Kong!
[BT looks around, while Homely lines up his attack. Homely jumps off and goes for a flying lariat, but WHACK! Get nailed with the ass of a dead swan! Feather's go flying everywhere blocking the camera's view of the wrestlers for a few seconds. As the feathers clear We see BT holding the Head and Neck of the Swan, and the body lying a top Homely's Chest. Blood drips all over his body, as he screams in terror. BT throws the swan's head at JoJo and Ferret, hitting Ferret in the head. Ferret picks it up and begins eating.
Slammin' JoJo: AHH Sick! What the hell are you doing!
Ferret: HA! this is...(chew chew) what I hate while I was in the woods, (chew chew) you should try it.
[BT looks at Ferret in discuss, as homely sneaks up behind him with a park bench and Drops it over his back! BT's back is busted open! Homely motions to the crowd that he;s the greatest, but only gets JoJo and Ferret giving him pointing to the top of the "Caddy Shack" He drags Blackthorne over to a ladder on the side of the shack. They both begin climbing to the top of the little shack. On the roof is a small statue of a little fat boy swinging a golf club. Homely throws BT between the Club and Head of the statue. He climbs to the tope of the statue, barely keeping his footing. He picks BT up to his chest and... BT was playing possum! JoJo and Ferret are in shock. BT picks up Homely and WYLDE BOMB! The two break through the roof the "Caddy Shack" as it collapses on top of them. As the dust clears BT and Homely just lie there motionless.]
Ferret: Ouch! I wish I was getting shot at one of these guys next week ... wait I am! HA!
Slammin' JoJo: Looks like the two jabrones are dead, oh well that's what they get for killing the swan! (movement in the rubble) Wait, BT is getting up, That just shows you how stupid he is, lay down you jabrone! Your gonna kill yourself! Not that it'd be a big lose...
[BT stands up, and gives JoJo and Ferret an Evil look, His face is busted open. He digs around the rubble to find Homely. He exposes Homely's already busted open head and pancakes it between two pieces of lumber. It looks like he's going for The Thorne ! There it is! Blood spurts out of Homely's temple like a woman in labor! He covers him, 1....2....3!]
Ferret: What a surprise! Blackthorne won! Now he keeps the title that he got from me, without ever beating me for it! HA! Next Week, your evil ass is gonna get kicked my my hairy ass, ya spoot!
Slammin' JoJo: Oh joy, Ferret the TWO time SMDW champion... I've never gonna hear the end of it.
(We're brought back to the arena.)
Raskolnikov: As always...the FWo brings you the most bizzare hardcore division in the history of wrestling! I can't even comment on that!
Arthur: Well...hopefully you can comment on the fact that it's time for the World tag team title match! EoI defend against the babe Squad! SDhould be a killer!
Announcer: This next match is the Main Event for the evening! it pits two of the greatest tag teams in our sport today against each other. The winner walks away the FWO world tag team champions! Kentucky....are you READY???
(fans cheer)
Mike Buffer: Then..for the thousands in attendance and the millions watching around the world.. LET'S GET READY TO RRRRRR...AHHHHHHH!
(Bear bursts in the ring and Guts Michael Buffer.)
Fans: BROWN-BEAR! BROWN-BEAR! Wilbur: YES!
Arthur: YES!
Raskolnikov: YES! The biggest pop of the night!
(Bear grabs Mike's torso and cracks his ribs into splinter. bear hurtles Buffer from the ring into the fans where the fans finally get to their this ^*&(^(^( apart!)
Wilbur: at this time I'd like to add that the FWO does not condone angry mob beatings and promises that this will be a one-time occurance.
Raskolnikov: match time?
Arthur: match time!
(As "Sexy MF" plays, The Babe Squad come out to cheers and catcalls and whistles. Both women wear matching, black, sports bras, tights, and boots. The two beauties slap hands with the fans as they make their way to ringside.)
Arthur: too bad we don't have an announcer for the team...
("Descent" by Fear Factory starts playing and the fans stop dismembering the corpse of Mike Buffer and start cheering as the Tag team champs come to the ring along with Sarah Ian)
Arthur: Rob Ian and Darquefyr! What a pairing! These two teams have met only once before and that was at the Totally Naked Circus Freak Orgie! This should be a great matchup nonetheless!
Wilbur: Sarah and Anastasia stare each other down. Ooh! Catfight I hope i hope!
Raskolnikov: Darque and Tiff are staring this off.
Arthur: Lockup! Tiff with a top wristlock, but darque with a boot to the chest and then a double arm takedown! Tiff back to her feet! lock up! Tiff with a side headlock! Darque pushes her into the ropes. Tiff leapfrogs over Darque and hits a backslide! 1 count! Both to there feet! Darque with a knifedge chop and then a standing dropkick! Short arm scissors applied by Darque! Lane gets her free arm's thumb into Darque's eye and he let's go! darque to his feet, slightly blinded! Tiff goes for a kick to the crotch..but Darque grab the leg and then...TITTY TWISTER! Everyone's in Shock! Tiffany drops to her knees and Darque claps his hands in delight! Guess that's as legal as kicking Rob in the schlong. Darque with a pick up and a scoop slam! Tag to rob. Double vertical suplex by the champs! Rob with a shoulderbreaker, and Tiff's still hurting fromt hat nipple blow! Rob goes up top! Driving elbow from the second turnbuckle! 1..2...th..kickout! Rob with another scoop slam and then he goes for a slingshot...but Tiff drives her heels into his ribs, stunning Rob! Tiff with a kick to you-know where and then she gets back to her feet!
raskolnikov: belly to belly by the Dame and then she tags in Nina! No double team as Tiff is tired. Nina comes in with a springboard frog splash! Pick up and an airplane spin! She drops Rob and makes a dizzy cover! 1..2..kickout! NIna places rob in the neutral corner. She spreads his legs on the ropes. Christ...what is it? A homing beckon for feet or something? SHATTERED DREAMS! Sarah Winces on the outside! Nina with a cover! 1..2...kickout! Nina with a fistdrop and another cover! only a 2 count! Nina places Rob on the top ropes and poses. Now she mounts up! Top Rope Hurnacanrana.. but in mid move rob changes it into a Super Bomb! WOW! Both wrestlers are done and spent! Darque claps his hands and stomps on the mat! Ref counts. Nina to her feet first! She walks to her corner! Tag to Tiff! Tiff runs in..but Rob rolls and Tags Darque! Darque with a shoulderblock sending Tiff to the mat! Pick up and a scoop slam! Nina comes in and tries for a low blow, but Darque dodges and...Titty twister! The fans love it! Lane from behind..but Darque reaches out and Titty twists her too! One hand for each lady! He now goes for a noggin knocker, but the girls block and then hit a double elbow right into the throat! Darque staggers and the Babe's with a double dropkick!
Wilbur: Nina is sent back to her corner, and tiff takes advantage of the ref's blindness with a blatant choke! ref turns and demands she breaks it. Tiff does so cleanly. Tiff poses...then kicks Darque right in the tailbone. Pick up and..pendulum brainbuster! Cover! 1...2...kickout! Tiffany hooks the arm and fisherman suplexes Darque! Again only a count of two! Tiffany Whips Darque into the neutral corner and follows it up with a a Handspring elbow! tiffany goes off as Darque staggers around on his feet! Top rope bulldog! 1...2..thre.shoulder up! Tag into Nina. Nina Goes up top and tiffany hoilds Darque for a spike Piledriver! Nina comes off, but darque wriggle and reverses the piledriver! NINA just spiked her partner! Darque with a boot to the chest on Nina and...DDT! Cover! 1...2...thre..kickout! Darque With a pick up and he drops Nina face first on the top turnbuckle! belly to back suplex and a cover! 1...2...thr..kickout! Tag to Rob is made Darque with a drop toe hold on Nina as Rob comes crashing down with a legdrop to the back of her neck! Rob covers her! 1..2...thre..save by Tiffany!
Raskolnikov: Suprised she didn't kick him in the crotch!
Arthur: Rob whips Nina into the ropes...BIG spinebuster slam! 1..2...thre.. foot on the ropes! rob hooks that foot and tries again! 1..2..kickout! hard fought match here tonight! Rob hooks both of Nina's arms into a front chassis and as he tries for a Tiger Driver '97...NIna reverses it into a backdrop! ROb lands on his feet, but Nina with a mule kick and then a backslide! 1...2...thre..kickout! Fans are chanting "Grapefruit! grapefruit!" Nina grabs Rob's legs and makes a wish with them. Now she picks him up and..inverted atomic drop. Nina with a knee drop and a cover! 1..2....thr...kickout! Nina tags Tiffany back in. Nina grabs Robs legs and starts a giant swing while Tiffany goes up! NIna spins him around and around as Tiffany comes off with a guillotine legdrop! What a great double team move! 1...2...thre..save by Darque! Ref forces Darque back to his corner! As Darque argues with the ref the Nina grabs Rob's legs and the fans count along with Tiff's kicks!
Fans: 1...2...3...4....5...6...7...8...9..10! Grapefruit! Grapefruit!
Raskolnikov: Tiff is alone in the ring with Rob as the ref turns around and she hits the michinoku driver! new champs are on their way! tiff picks ROb up for the Tiffany's Secret, but Rob with a mule kick of his own! Tiffany is dazed and... NUTSHELL DDT from nowhere! Both are down! he's just gotta cover her! Rob lifts up his head...but his body's not doing what his mind wants! Ref counts! Rob crawls over to Tiff! Cover! 1...2...thre...reversal into a small package! 1..2...thre..kickout! Close one there. Both get to their feet! Rob with a big right hand! Tiff with an open hand slap! Rob slaps her back! Tiff is shocked and punches him... in the gut! Close...but not her normal spot! ROb heaves! tiff goes for a jumping DDT, but Rob reverses it into a Northern Lights bomb! Rob staggers... and tags in Darque! Darque off the top with a 450 corkscrew plancha on Tiffany! 1..2...thre...kickout! Darque with a pickup! BLOCKBUSTER! 1...2..three...NO! Nina makes the save with an elbow drop from the second turnbuckle right into Darque's spine. Nina is forced back to her corner and Tiffany is about to hit her Dragon Suplex...when from the fans...TWO MASKED SURFERS! They crack Anastasia in the head with their boards and she goes down like a light!
Wilbur: Tiffany Drops Darque..but Darque grabs her and offers to help! Darque with a springboard plancha onto both surfers! Such a gallant man! Rob ian comes in and hits an iverted DDT from behind on Tiffany! ref counts! 1...2..thre..save by Nina! it's two on one in the ring! Rob gets punches from both ladies. Both take one side of Rob! they go for a groin kick...But Rob leaps into the air and they kick each othe in the crotch! Rob with a back elbow to Nina and then.. NUTSHELL DDT on Tiffany! COVER! but the ref is on the outside tellign Darque to get back int he ring instead of saving a big roid using chick! Rob grabs NIna and puts her on the top rope! it's time for INNER RAGE! Wait! AC Smooth leaps from his ring side seat and jumps on the apron! he pastes Ian with a chair! Ian falls to the mat! AC throws the chair onto Rob's back and comes off with a moonsault! OW! Ac grabs the chair and scoots! NIna off the top with a 450 splash! Tiff yells at the ref and he turns around! Ref gets in the ring! NO! Not like this! 1...2....3!!!! NEW CHAMPS!
(Bell rings. Darque turns around and realizes too little too late where his mind should've been.)
announcer; Your winners...and NEW FWO WORLD TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS: THE BABE SQUAD!
(Fans have a mixed reaction ROb is out cold. Darque runs in the ring to check on him. Surfers run for the hills.)
Wilbur: Ref hands the new champs their belts! they're giddy with joy! AC smooth comes and taps Tiffany on the back...and they embrace each other with a passionate kiss! What the heck??? What a setup!
raskolnikov: The champs were robbed! I wonder how Rob is going to feel about this match..and I don't mean his nuts!
Arthur: Folks...we are out of time! We'll see you on weds with some BIG matches! For raskolnikov and Wilbur..this is Arthur dent saying..GOOD NIGHT!
(Card fades out with the babes going to the back. Darque gets Rob to his feet. fade out)