(we are given footage of ferrett sneaking into the woods. He is carrying both his SMDW title, and the CyberFight titlehe stole from Big Red.)
Arthur: What the hell is he doing in the woods? How did he get past security?
Raskolnikov: You mean the unstoppbale FWO security. Boy..I'd be so scared of them...inept american swines...
Arthur: Well..it's down to the wire in the tag tourney. Darque and Rob are almost unstopable. Carrs are out with zilch for points. Surfers have 15 and Babes have 10! This means to keep Darque and Rob from winning the titles...the surfers HAVE to win this match! No way around it!
Wilbur: Annd we've got an injured River going to wrestle only Tiffany. Nina's still down and out thanks to that slime Blackthorne!
Announcer: This next match is the final match in the round robin tag tourney! Coming to the ring first, here is one half of the babe Squad...Tiffany Lane!
(As Sexy MF by Prince plays, Tiffany comes out to catcalls and whistles, and a few boos. ms. lane wears a long, white, floor length robe. When she enter the ring, she takes off her robe to reveal a slinky, skin tight, white, thong bikini that show off her sleek, sensual bodies and ample cleavage. The outfit is completed with white, thigh high boots. The men in the audience go crazy at the sight of Tiffany)
Wilbur: I never get tired of seeing her...
Announcer: and her opponent...one half of the Surfer Circuit...River Snow! (Surfaris is blared and River hobbles to the ring, bandaged up face and crutches accomapny him. He uses his crutches at first, then drops them and limps to the ring. He rests in his corner, and it's obvious this effort took a lot out of him!)
Raskolnikov: There's the bell. Tiff comes towards River, but it's obvious he doesn't want to fight the lady he has a crush on!
Arthur: Lock up! Tiffany with a top wristlock. River reverses it into a hammerlock/half-nelson combo..and he's still trying to talk to her. Snap mare escape by Tiffany who then kicks him in the back of the neck. Pick up and a scoop slam by lane. Tiffany gets River to his feet! tries to whip him into the ropes, but his leg gives out and he crumples to the mat! Single leg boston crab applied by Tiffany. it's odd that we have a singles match in a tag tourney! River gets to the ropes. Ref calls for break, but doesn't get a clean one as Tiffany stomps away at his leg! Spinning toe hold applied! River reaches up and grabs a handful of hair! He yanks unti he is released! River with a dropkick but as he lands he grabs his legs. That probably hurt him! Tiff walks over and puts a grapevine leglock on River! River cries out! River gets to the ropes. Ref calls again for a break, but Tiffany with a double knee drop onto River's calf muscle. Tiff with a pick up and another scoop slam! She mounts up top! Driving elbow smash into the knee of River! Achillies Hold on River! Really working over those injured legs of Snow.
Raskolnikov: River again clamores to the ropes. Clean break this time. Tiffany picks up River and suplexes him back down, jarring his back! She bounces off the ropes and drops a slender leg across rivers throat! Cover! 1...2...kickout! Tiffany goes up top! Superfly splash...but River gets his knees up! Both wrestlers roll on the mat! Tiff holds her ribs, while River holds his knees! ref counts! River gets to his feet and stomps on Tiffany, holding the ropes for extra leverage and wincing with each blow. I'm not sure if it's the painin his legs or the fact he's beating up Tiffany that hurts him more! River with a scoop slam and then he rests in the neutral corner. Tiffany gets up and sees him there. She hits him with a knifeedge chop and then a few roundhouse kicks! Frankenstiener out of the corner! 1...2..kickout! Tiff with a front headlock! She tries for a swinging neckbreaker, but River blocks it! She tries again, but this time River reverses it into an inverted atomic drop followed by a short arm clothesline! Cover! 1..2...kickout!
Wilbur: Here comes Bonnie to ringside! We haven't seen her all night! River with an arm wrench, cranking down with some pressure of the babe Squad leader. Tiff elbows River in the groin with her free arm and then hits him with a jawbreaker. Tiff grabs both legs and drops a diving heabutt into the groin...and it looks like something I would mind getting from her myself! Tiff with a Boston crab now applied. Bonnie is on the apron distracting the ref! hey! Someone's crawling out from under the ring? What the hell? It's RIVER! With a crutch! He breaks it over Tiffany's head! Now "River": gets up and removes his bandages...it's SEAN RYAN! What a setup! Ryan now starts choking Tiffany with the bandages! ref turns around and sees both surfers and does a double take! Sean and River double team Tiffany in the corner! Double Hip toss followed by a double jumping neck snap! The ref doesn't know what's going on! From the back...it's Nina Larue! She's still hurt...but she's coming to help her partner! She jumps on River's back and claws at his eyes! River can't see and both tumble to the outside!
Raskolnikov: Tiffany with a knee to Sean's groin and she throws him over the top rope! Plancha by tiffany! All four wrestlers are on the floor! Here comes newcomer Darlene Hayes! Okay..this is just confusing as all hell. Darlene from behind with a spinning kick to the lower legs of Tiffany lane! She grabs Tiffany and puts her in the Lady Lock! Sean and River are double teaming Nina! Both teams are forgetting the count! Sean with the alterna Crest On the floor knocking NIna Out! Both turn their attention back to the ring...but the ref calls for the bell!
Announcer: Both teams Have been counted out! This match is a DRAW!!!
Arthur: Looks like both teams were more intent on hurting the others then winning the match! But this means the final scores are Carrs: 0, Babes: 15, Surfers: 20 and Rob/Darque....25!!! Rob ian and Darquefyr are the First ever World tag Team Champions!
Wilbur: and guess what? The Surfers don't care! Darlene has left and the Babes have been laid out on the ground here at yellowstone! Bonnie grabs both her boys arms and raises them in a mock triumph! What a setup! It was neverabout the titles...it was all about revenge!
Sean: Were we like, um...the greatest actors or what?
River: Dude...we could like, do Marlowe!
Sean: Like we'd umm..ever be attracted to Silcone Monthly...
Bonnie: Chya right that was like, me coming down this ailse Tiffy. I'm not as much of a like, bimbo as you look...or something. Like, I so totally knew you would try something on me, so like, as the old saying goes, a 'dime a dozen'. A cheap look alike Tiff...nothing but a cheap look alike. But we have what we like, wanted, you got what you like, needed, and now you must like, so totally know that I am the best manager there is. Get the 4-1-1 Bimbo Squad, payback is like, such a bitch.
Raskolnikov: All three leave as Medics come to check on the Babe Squad. But The surfers never lost a match here, they won won and drew twice. They have every reason to demand a tag title shot...
Arthur: I agree with you there! But I doubt the feud between Surfers and the Babe Squad is over...Rob and Darque had best watch their back as long as they carry those titles!
*******************************************************************
Raskolnikov: What's that smell?
Arthur: smells like...circus freaks!
Wilbur Fields: GOOD GOD! Not you freaks again!
Freak #1: Quiet, what's that word, OH YES! Jabrone!
Freak #2: HA HA!
Wilbur Fields: Oh well, atleast the blue haired freak isn't here....(Dinner Bell Rings).... What the hell? (Dinner Bell Rings) What can this be!
(A screwed up Undertaker theme comes over the P.A. system, as a very large man walks out wearing a black gothic like, chef outfit. Hew walks over to the announcer's table, and slowly sits down.)
Wilbur Fields: Holy Crap! Who the hell are you!
Man: I am the root of evil, I am the Underbaker! (Lighting Strikes the some object right next to the Underbaker, as the lights come on, revealing a Grill! )
Wilbur Fields: What the hell, are you gonna cook something for us?
Underbaker: I'm cooking a master plan, soon you, and all the minions of the Underbaker will come to the Darkside.... Bakery, and try my Tombstone ... pizzas.
Wilbur Fields: Umm, OK lets go to the announcer.
Announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, this is for the CF title, but not the belt because that little hairy bastard Ferret has it. Anyway at this time, the challenger.... Alexandria!
("I will Survive" plays over the P.A. system as Alexandria comes out alone. She gets into the ring to all the men booing her, yet all the women cheering her.)
Wilbur Fields: A women fighting a man for a title, this should be interesting!
Underbaker: Soon to the master plan will be in place. (growls)
(The lights go off, as red clouds appear on the monitors. The Pryo goes off, here comes BRRDDT! He comes walking down the ring with Paul Barber, he suddenly sees an old lady with a hernia belt on. He grabs her and choke slams her on the guard rail and take her belt. Paul comes over, and corrects him and BRRDDT continues his walk to the ring.)
Wilbur Fields: Ohh lordy, Uncle Sam's gonna have a lawsuit on his hands thanks to BRRDDT!
Underbaker: This BRRDDT is part of the master plan. (growls)
Wilbur Fields: You two could form a stable, and call it "Gimmick Rip Offs"
Underbaker: I should warn you, I do not need to follow the rules of your pathetic little federation, I am the lord of pastries, and you will accept me as your chef!
Wilbur Fields: OK OK, lets go to the action in the ring. (bells rings)
(Alexandria runs over to BRRDDT and begins punching and kicking the big man down, BRRDDT doesn't even try to fight back. Alexandria runs off the ropes, nailing him with a clothesline! She straddles the man, and begins going crazy on BRRDDT's face. She gets off him, and climbs to the top rope, Big Leg Drop from the top rope, but she doesn't go for the pin! BRRDDT just lays there, almost like he's being controlled somehow.)
Wilbur Fields: Men can't beat this retard, but this woman is really kicking his butt.
Freak #1: SHOW YOUR BOOBIES!
Freak #2: Yeah Barber! Show your Boobies!
(Alexandria picks BRRDDT up, then DDTs him back the mat, STILL NO COVER! She runs to the ropes, and nails BRRDDT with a moonsault, then begins choking BRRDDT out. Still no fighting back from the retard! Alexandria gets BRRDDT back to his feet. Then nails him with a Rock Bottom! She motions to the crowd like she's gonna do the people's elbow, She takes off one elbow pad, and tucks it between her boobs, she runs to one side, then he other. Suddenly Paul lifts up the Urn!! BRRDDT SITS UP! Alexandria misses the elbow! She quickly gets up, and tries to take the tard down, kick to the balls, NO EFFECT! She grabs his arm and starts biting him... STILL NO EFFECT! She then tries to Drop Kick The Tard, but BRRDDT catches her by the feet! BRRDDT starts spinning around and around, he lets her go, and she goes flying over the top rope into the crowd! The fans begin crowd surfing her around the arena! The men are getting cheap feels as she's passed over them. BRRDDT walks out of the ring, and into the crowd. The fans get out of his way in a hurry. Alexandria ends up getting dropped to the floor by the fans. The Ref is at a 7 count.)
Underbaker: This cannot happen! He must win by pinfall!
Wilbur Fields: Sit down!
(Underbaker gets up, and runs towards the ring. He grabs the referee.... BRIMSTONE DRIVER! this stops the count as BRRDDT continues tearing Alexandria a new ass hole. He drags her over by the hair to a Snow Cone Vendor. he drops her down by his feet, and buys a Sno Cone! He tries to eat it, but his mask gets in the way. he's totally pissed! Alexandria gets up, and pushes the Sno Cone into BRRDDT's eyes! He's furious! He picks up the Sno cone cart, and drops it onto Alexandria. Suddenly, Vanity runs out, and jumps BRRDDT from behind! BRRDDT just falls backwards, having Vanity fall unto some electrical wires, HER skirt combust into flames! BRRDDT picks her up, BRIMSTONE DRIVER on the cement! Security runs out, and puts out the fire. But BRRDDT fights them off, before they can get her away. HE chokes slams her, not once, not twice, but three times! Paul is going nuts, he holds up the urn, and BRRDDT drags Alexandria back into the ring. He picks her up, BRIMSTONE DRIVER! He folds her arms, and also catches a quick feel of her boobies. The Underbaker takes the refs hand, 1...2....3!!)
Announcer: Here is your winner...and STILL CYBERFIGHT CHAMPION...The Big red Retarded Demented Dentist Trucker
******************************************************************
Raskolnikov: I guess he took GWAR'S song to heart!
Arthur: Nor BRRDDT stares at The Underbaker...the man from the dark side of pastries hands BRRDDT a note. BRRDDT reads it, then throws his hair back and Pyro starts! BRRDDT takes off..into the bear infested woods! What the hell! Someone stop him!
Wilbur: You wanna try?
Arthur: Not especially...
Freak 1: Got any Ben Gay?
Wilbur: Security! Get these freaks outta here!
(Freaks are dragged off...)
Raskolnikov: Well...it's time for the most bizzare moment in pro wrestling history. Six men traped in a forest! They must find the world title...or else! Only way to win is to knock the living crap out of your opponent and avoid the bears. Once a bear has come in contact with the wrestlers...they must knock it out for a ten count! This should be truly a violent matchup!
(camera switch to the plethora of hidden ones in the woods.)
Arthur: Each of the six wrestlers is led into the middle of the forest blindfolded and hand cuffed with only their three chosen items!
(Suddenly, "Stars and Stripes Forever" starts playing and out comes Sam, Talbot and hiD)
Sam: If you don't mind...the A team will take over calling this match!
Wilbur: BE our guest boss!
(B team announcers leave.)
HID: AWOOOOOH!
Sam: Well..psycho mime is in a full body cast and he's waiting in the forest to do commentary for the deaf. Announcer...start announcing!
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen...presenting the six competitors for the World title match! FIRST...armed with a nun costume, a porn magazine and a goat....here is Homely Simpson!
(Small reaction. Homely has placed the nun outfit out the goat.)
Talbot: This man is truly messed up...
Announcer: Wrestler #2, armed with a sack of bricks, wire cutters and uncle Sam brand BEAR BE GONE....Adam Agee!
(Adam gets a mixed reaction. he has a bump on his head thanks to Kevin Hunters assult on him yesterday)
\ Sam: I never made a product called BEAR BE GONE...
Talbot: What?
Sam: I made a product called BARE BEA Gone...because of my deathly fear of seeing Bea Arthur naked...
Talbot: Oh bloody hell.
sam: it's guaranteed to repulse that Golden Girl...but I have no idea what it'll do do bears...
Announcer; Competitor #3...armed with a lawn dart, a lazer pointer and a squirt gun..here is "Showtime" Scott harrison!
(Big pop for Scott. he leaves rudy at the gate and enters the forest)
Announcer: Wrestler #4, armed with a jar of honey, a picnic basket and an autographed picture of sam..here is Shamus O'Reiley!
(Boos from beyond are Shamus' gift from the audience...)
Sam: WHOOO! WHOO! Go Shamus!
Announcer: Wrestler #5...armed with a months supply of birth control pills, a gerbil for felching and a furby...here is Slammin' JOJO!
(Good reaction from the crowd.)
Sam: Poor gerbil...
Announcer: and finall, armed with a pan of lasagna, some bread crumbs and a syringe filled with heroin..."Phenom" Scott douglas!
(Mixed reaction. Scott is cheered, except by zero tolerance drug supporters. One holds a sign saying, "Drug supporters SUCK!"
Sam: Geez...it's not like Phenom takes smack himself...
(Five minutes pass and all six men are positioned in the middle of the forest.)
Louspeaker: GENTLEMEN...LET'S GET IT ON!!!
Sam: here we go. Everyone looks at each other and...Shamus, Adam agee and Scott douglas all take off running! What the hell??? Meanwhile Scott pulls out his lawn dart and brandishes it like a sword. Ferrett holds his furby and Homley commands his goat named "Mother Terry" to attack JoJO! Jojo hurtles the furby which cracks Homley right in the head as the goat tackles Jojo!
Furby: I....love....you
(Camera shot cuts to Adam Agee spraying himself with Uncle Sam brande BARE BEA Gone.)
Sam: I wish i could remember what that stuff was made out of...
(Camera cuts to Shamus standing by the enterance of the forest, calm and collected. Then a shot of Scott Douglas running through the forest.)
Talbot: Everyone has their own plan it seems.
Sam: JoJo is trying to get the goat off him as it chews on his boots. Homley is beating Scott in the head with his "Hooters" magazine and....Mother terry starts urininating on Jojo! Jojo chokes on Goat urine! YES!
(Shot of AAA cutting a hole in the fence with his wire cutters. He takes the fence and puts pieces of it in his sack of bricks...)
sam: What the heck is he doing?
Talbot: Back to the action! Scott stabs Homely in the leg with his lawn dart! JOJO is kicking at the goat in the face!
(Shot of Scott Douglas Climbing a tree.)
Sam: HEY! Scott surveyed the area earlier today! HE knows exactly where the title is!
Talbot: AAA is walking along screaming Shamus' name! Not at all a happy camper!
Sam: Scott's on his cellphone! In comes a delivery boy on a bike! Phenom hands the delivery boy the slightly messed up pan of lasagna and the boy pedals off!
Now Scott runs off to do god knows what! But it appears that he has the title!
talbot: Showtime and JoJo double team the goat and the homley comes from behind and hits JoJo with a reverse DDT on the earth!
Talbot: There's the Delievery boy...and from out of nowhere...he's tackled by Shamus! Shamus starts kicking at the delivery boy! Hey look! In camera range..it's Scottt douglas and Triple A! AAA from behind with a brick to the back of Shamus' head! Phenom comes over and offers to help with a double team! Shamus is picked up by AAA...but Phenom with an axhandle blow and then a german suplex on AAA!
From somewhere in the woods: RARRRRRRGHH!
Sam: Homley is getting his head repeatedly slammed into a tree by the uriney fresh JoJo. Scott thompson is trying to blind the goat with his lazer pointer! over in another part of the woods, Triple A is getting a beat down thanks to Shamus and Phenom! OH GOD! IT'S A BEAR! A bear has wandered into their path! Phenom throws bread crumbs at the bear..which just irritates him! Shamus takes his honey and smears it on the picture of sam and then slaps it on Phenom's chest! The bear recognizes my face...and goes berzerk! Phenom screams and runs like hell with the bear after him in hot pursuit! Now Shamus and triple A are going at it, exchanging punches like Ali and frazier!
talbot: Psycho mime is busy translating while JOJO has a sleeper hold on the goat and Showtime scoop slams Homely onto the ground! Runnign through their little brawl... it's Phenom! Followed by the bear! All four wrestlers scream! Homley commands his goat to charge! Mother terry head butts the bear! The bear ignores it and with a mighty swipe of his paw, sends the goat hurtling into the back of scott Douglas, sending them both to the ground! Is Phenom out? No...the winds just been knocked out of him!
Sam: Showtime has his lawndart and tries to make the bears obey him! But these are WILD bears! The bear grabs the lawn dart from Harrsion's hand and crushes it in his mighty maw!
Showtime: Oh Shit!
Talbot: Showtime pulls out his lazer pointer and shines it in the bears eyes! The bear can't see! Scott runs like hell and Homley and JoJo avoid the wild blind blows of the bear! Meanwhile AAA and Shamus are still pounding each other! AAA ducks a right hand from Shamus and AAA with a low blow! Shamus staggers! AAA drives a brick into the back of his neck! Shamus slumps to the ground! AAA pull out the wire he cut off and wraps one end around a brick...and the other to the right ankle of shamus! trying to slow him down! AAA assumes Shamus is out cold! AAA steals Shamus' jar of honey and walks back into the heart of the forest looking for the others!
(Shot of Showtime whipping out his genitles and "relieving himself" into his squirt gun.)
Sam: WHOO! More urine shots baby! Douglas has climbed out from under the goat and the bear has chased JoJo and Homely up a tree! Douglas from behind and he axhandles the bear! Not Smart! The bear turns around and picks scott up and hurtles him into the tree! Homley and JoJo fall out of the tree! JoJo manages to protect "Trisha" The gerbil from harm! The bear looks up and sniffs. Something's caught his attention! He starts to walk off...licking a trail of honey! here comes triple A! He sees everyone prett much injured. AAA takes his barb wire fence pieces and wraps peices of them arund two other bricks...and then wraps them around Douglas' ankles!
talbot: Meanwhile Shamus is trying to get the bricks and wires off his ankle! HEY! IT's another bear! it sees Shamus and roars! Shamus screams in response!
Bear: ARRRRRR!
Shamus: AHHHHH!
BEAR: ARRRARRARARARRRRR!
SHAMUS: AHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Sam: it lumbers after Shamus! Shamus is in trouble! He can;t run with those bricks! The bear stands at his full height and then with one mighty swoop... it steals Shamus' pic-a-nic basket and runs off into the woods!
Bear: Hey Boo-Boo bear! I got dinner tonight!
Talbot: It must be smarter than the average bear!
Sam: AAA is walking through the forest looking for the title! HEY! There's ferrett! With a title! AAA thinks it's the world title and he chases Ferrett into a deep dank cave! Ferrett disapears in the dark! But AAA sees the title on a big rock! AA laughs and picks it up..only to hear footsteps behind him!
VOICE: YOU...STOLE...MY....TITLE! STEALING...WRONG!
Sam: Something in the cave explodes and...it's the CF Champion! AA looks at the title! it's actually the CF title! ferrett tricked AAA! BRRDDT attacks Triple A and the two exchange blows! From behind...It's THE UNDERBAKER! The Lord of pastries spins AAA around and Pastry slams him onto the hard rocky floor of the cave! AAA is out I think! UB and BRRDDT stare at each other. UB hands the tard his title and the the two walk off deeper into the cave! weird!
Talbot: TRiple A is still moving so he's not out yet!
meanwhile...JoJo has managed to get back to his feet! Douglasius holding his legs! That hit from the bear injured him! Homley goes to attack the helpless phenom...but Showtime jumps out from the bushes and sprays Homely in the eyes with his urine filled squirt gun! Homley screams in pain! Now Showtime goes to squirt JoJo...but Ferrett from behind with a Jabrone Killer! ferrett laughs and gives a thumbs up to JoJo! JoJo just stares and points! Ferrett turns around...IT'S A BEAR! Ferrett Screams as the bear sniffs the SMDW champ!
Sam: The bear sniffs ferrett a few times and then licks him! Now the bear hugs ferrett and hoists him onto it's shoulder! The bear thinks our own furry wonder is one of it's babies! It runs back into the forest with Ferrett screaming the entire way. Dear god! JoJo just laughs as his stablemate disapears into the forest! Now JoJo walks over to Phenom! JoJo rips one of the bricks off Phenom's legs and smashes it into his knee! Phenom cries out and tries to kick at JoJO with his free leg! Here comes Homley, fresh from his urine bath! Both Homley and JoJo take apart Scott Douglas.
talbot: Here comes Shamus. Everyone is still techinically in the match! Shamus frombehind with a sleeper hold on Homely! Showtime gets to his feet, but Simpson flying mare's Shamus into Showtime sending them both to the ground! Meanwhile JoJo walks over to scott douglas and flips him onto his stomach! Scott's too injured to move! JOJO tears off Scott's tights! EW! More senseless nudity! Shamus, Showtime and Homley are fighting amongst each other! JoJO pulls out "Trisha!"
JoJO: (Kisses trisha's little head) Time to go home trisha...
SAM: JoJo steps on Phenom's back and....FUCK! FUCK NO! PHENOM HAS BEEN FELCHED!
Talbot: Phenom screams as the gerbil violates him in a crude manner! JoJo falls over laughing as Phenom screams in both pain and reveulsion! I ca...I've never...It's in his anus! Poor gerbil!
sam: Phenom grits his teeth and while JoJo is rollingon the ground laughing...Phenom grabs his syringe of heroin....and DRIVES it into JoJo's leg! JoJo's eyes get big as the opiates start to take affect immediately! JoJO's on smack! Phenom flicks off JoJo as he passes out!
Talbot: Phenom's been eliminated! JoJo is to his feet babbling and rnnign around! Let me guess.. you didn't purchase pure heroin did you???
sam: So it's dilluted with some rat poison! Street heroin is cheap!
talbot: joJo runs off into the forest in a drug induced stupor. Five guys left! Showtime and Homley are exchanging more blows. Shamus ribs off a tree branch and levels Showtime in the back of thehead with it.
sam: There's JoJo running through the woods by that cave we saw earlier! he's babbling about butterflies and frog semen! Suddenlt joJo gets hit in the back of the head with a brick! AAA staggers out of the cave. Attitude adjustment on JOJO! Slammin JoJo is out cold! AAA grabs his last remaining item...a months supply of birth control and goes back into the forest looking for the other four!
talbot: JoJo's not moving..and that means we are down to four wrestlers! Showtime, AAA, Homley or Shamus...one will be world champ! Right now Shamus is beating harrison with that tree branch and splattering blood all over the ground! From behind! Mother Terry the goat rams it's horns into Shamu's tailbone! Shamus goes flying...INTO A BEAR!
Sam: The bear grabs Shamus by the throat and then hurtles him into Homely! The goat sees it's master go down and baaaas! The Goat charges the bear... but the bear breaks the goats neck with an axhandle blow! Now the bear starts to feast on the carcass of the goat! AAA enters the clearing! All four guys are face to face with a bear! All Four look at each other and Nod! GANG ATTACK ON THE BEAR! The bear looks up curiously and see four humans charge it! All four kick and punch the bear! All it wanted was a little snack! How cruel these humans be....
talbot: Sam you shit! You forced them to have to beat up bears!
sam: Oh yeah...