Ebirah:  So, what’s up for review today?
SpaceGodzilla:  The TOHO Classic, Rodan!
Ebirah:  You sound kind of interested for once
SpaceGodzilla:  Well, it’s a good movie
Ebirah:	That it is very true, we actually agree on something for once
SpaceGodzilla:  Can’t let THAT happen!
Ebirah:  What do you mean by that?
SpaceGodzilla:  Hoo hoo ha ha ha!
Ebirah:	  Ack!…. Ok, so we find some mine workers workin’ their tails
          off
SpaceGodzilla:  And the water floods the entire cave!
Ebirah:	 Yep, and two guys die and they don’t know why.
SpaceGodzilla:  Precisely.
Ebirah:  Are you going to be nice to me for once?
SpaceGodzilla:  Don’t get your hopes up
Ebirah:  Gersh dernit!
Gorosaurus:  Howdy, all!
SpaceGodzilla:  Hey, Goro, do you think that I should be nice to him
          for once?
Gorosaurus:  WHAT?! ARE YOU NUTS?!
Ebirah:  Uh oh…
Gorosaurus:  That’s the only way we stay in business! Butt kicking is
          the only reason people read these dang things!
SpaceGodzilla:  Oh goodie goodie…..>=^)
Ebirah:  Mommy!
Gorosaurus:  Not yet, I’ve got a better idea!
SpaceGodzilla:  What’s that?
Gorosaurus:  Special guests!
SpaceGodzilla:  I’m for that… for the moment
Gorosaurus:  Yeah, how about Tony?
SpaceGodzilla:  Nah, he usually picks on me a bit
Ebirah:  Riiiiiggghhht! Aren’t you just the poor little kaiju
SpaceGodzilla:  Ok, you sorry excuse for a moss-eating, checkers-
          cheating, worthless crustacean being! YOU’RE MINE!!!
Ebirah:  Ulp!
Gorosaurus:  Ooo… Oh, forgot about the review!
Ebirah:  Ok, so some giant bugs enter someone’s house, attack them, 
          and the bugs are labeled “meganurons”
Gorosaurus:  Mmm…. Meganurons….. ahhhhhh, good
SpaceGodzilla:  Umm… Gorosaurs eat bugs?
Gorosaurus:  And mud!
SpaceGodzilla:  Mud?
Gorosaurus:  Yeah, that’s your name, right?
SpaceGodzilla:  No, I don’t know what you’re talking ab…..oh…
Gorosaurus:  Moo Hoo HA HA HA!
SpaceGodzilla:  AAAAUUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
Ebirah:  Go for the jugular!
SpaceGodzilla:  HE ALREADY DID!
Ebirah:  Oh, my mistake
Gorosaurus:  AWWWWOOOOO!!!!
Ebirah:  It think that he’s having fun
SpaceGodzilla:  NNNYYYAAAHHHH!
Ebirah:  That’s number one in family entertainment on my list!
Tony:  Join da’ club!
Ebirah:  Hey, Tony! Welcome back!
Tony:  Da’ Boss sent me afta’ yoos.
Gorosaurus:  Who is your boss anyways?
Tony:  Well, after I quit working for Spa…err…someone, I joined up 
          wit' Someone else
Ebirah:  Who?
Tony:  Can’t tell ya, it’s classified. If I told ya’ I’d have to kill
          yas’
SpaceGodzilla:  TELL HIM, TELL HIM!
Tony:  I’m workin’ fer Angouris
Ebirah:  Angie?  I never would’ve guessed. Wait a minute, you just…
Tony:  WWWWWRRRAAAA!!!!
Ebirah and SpaceGodzilla in unison:  AAAUUUGGGGHHH!!!!!
Gorosaurus:  This could be good!
Ebirah:  ACK! OWWIE! YOWSERS! YOWCH!
SpaceGodzilla:  Ooo! AGH! EEEK! OGGG!!!
Gorosaurus:  Ok, so they find a worker who is suffering from amnesia
Ebirah:  AAAAAAAHHHHH!!!
Gorosaurus:  This guy remembers watching some baby Pterodactyls hatch
SpaceGodzilla:  Ouch!…Ok, so strange things start happening around 
          Tokyo
Ebirah:  Like….ACK!….planes seeing strange objects, tourists… 
          OUCH!…disappearing.  
Tony:  Ohh… tourists, they’re always sticking babies on me and getting
          Out cameras.  Heh heh heh… Soon after, they’re not very
          happy Campers!
Gorosaurus:  You strange, sad, little monster
Tony:  Hey, you heard the name too!
Gorosaurus:  Oh yeah?… BRING IT ON!

(Ebirah pulls out boom box and starts playin’ the Mortal Kombat music)

Tony:  HEEEEYAH! Whatah! Wateesh! Watoosh! Kaboosh! (uppercut)
Gorosaurus:  RRG…GGGRRRAAAWWWW!!!!! YAHH! (does a round-House on Tony)
Tony:  Why yoos little punk!
Gorosaurus:  C’mon, I’m ready!
(Tony throws multiple punches at Gorosaurus, all direct hits)
Ebirah:  Wow, this is good stuff!
SpaceGodzilla:  You’re eating lobster too, hmm?
Ebirah:  Huh? Wait a minute…..AAAHHH!! MY TAIL!
SpaceGodzilla:  Hee hee hee >=^)
Gorosaurus:  Ouch… you fight well, but not good enough!
(Gorosaurus grabs Tony by the neck, jumps up high, and then smashes
          Tony head first into the pavement)
Tony:  Uggghh…. I guess dat I’m not king of da ring,… but da firing
          line…
                 !!!!!!!!BBBOOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!
Ebirah:  AAAAUUUGGGHH!!! Why did you shoot me in the claw! My 
          juices pouring out! My succulent flesh spewing all over the
          ground! The horror! THE HORROR!
SpaceGodzilla:  Oh shut up! He didn’t even HIT your claw!
Ebirah:  He didn’t? Oh, that was just you chewing on me
SpaceGodzilla:  Yeah, he hit your stomach
Ebirah:  AAAUUUGGGHHH!!!!
(Tony walks on over to Mobil and comes back with a container)
Gorosaurus:  Truce?
Tony:  You bet!
Ebirah:  Umm… let’s finish this!
SpaceGodzilla:  Yes! Let’s!
Ebirah:  Ok, so they find out there’s two Rodans, they send out the 
          military, fail to hurt them, they destroy a bunch of 
          cities, and then go to sleep in a nearby mountain
Gorosaurus:  And they figure that they’ve got to put their lights out 
          once and for all
Tony:  Speaking of….. (pours black liquid all over Ebirah)
SpaceGodzilla:  He’s melting! Ha ha ha!
Ebirah:  Oh real funny… sheesh… now wipe this off me!
Gorosaurus:  Wait a minute… a Mobil station, black liquid, and Ebirah…
SpaceGodzilla:  I think that we’re about to see the ending of this
          movie, but in real time review-o-vision!
Ebirah:  Am I missing something here?
Tony:  Now, let’s finish this review!
Gorosaurus:  Ok, so they figure that they should erupt the volcano 
          the Rodans are sleeping by
SpaceGodzilla:  And the finale starts!
Ebirah:  So the Rodans try and escape once it blows it’s top
Tony:  Only one makes it out safely, but the other stays burning 
          horribly In the fires of the super-hot lava… Time for the
          fun!
(Tony puts a match to Ebirah)
FFFFFFFFOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMM!!!!!!
Ebirah:  AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHH!!! THE PAIN!!!
Gorosaurus:  Monster jam, HE’S ON FIRE!
SpaceGodzilla:  Too much ESPN for Gorosaurus, there
Tony:  Ok, so the other one heroically goes back to the volcano to 
          save Its friend.  
(Tony dunks the rest of the gas on Spacie, and pushes him into Ebirah)
Gorosaurus:  Such sacrifices…. LET’S ENJOY!
Tony:  Ahh, I love a good BAR-B-QUE!
SpaceGodzilla:  NNNYYYYYYAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!
Ebirah:  AAACCCKKK!!!!
Gorosaurus:  Neither of the Rodans survived
SpaceGodzilla:  THIS SUCKS!
Tony:  No, that leach I stuck on you does, though
SpaceGodzilla:  AAAAAAGGGHHHH!!!!!
Gorosaurus:  Ok, so the mayor or someone gives a pretty good speech 
          about the rodans, almost as good as Burr's in G 1985
Tony:  Ok, its all over now, looks like we can stop them burning now
(Audience “Awwww’s”)
Gorosaurus:  Now, how to put them out…
Tony:  Add super hot coals?  Flammable gasses? How about newspapers?
Gorosaurus:  Tried all those already…
SpaceGodzilla: AAAAHHHHHHH!!!
Gorosaurus:  It says here that you should put out fires with sand
(Tony throws big sharp rocks at them)
Ebirah:  NNNOOO!!!
Gorosaurus:  No, I mean like REAL sand
Tony:  Oh, I got just the stuff
(Tony throws some sand all over the two, putting them both out)
Gorosaurus:  Well, it did the job
Tony:  Yep, but looks like Mr. Meow’s gonna’ have to hold it in until 
          I Can find some new sand for him

                                      THE END

Rodan's Reviews!