Dealing with the challenges of having a special child brings up a variety of feelings. Sometimes the feelings are joyful, sometimes not. Interactions with hosts of healthcare professionals are sometimes positive, sometimes negative. Many opportunities arise to experience shame and guilt. Shame tends to be related to a failure to be (a good parent, child, dad, mom, etc.) while guilt is more related to a failure to do (feedings correctly, exercising the little one, buying the right learning gadget or toy, etc.). In their book Facing Shame, Families in Recovery, Merle Fossum & Marilyn Mason describe respect as the opposite of shame. They go on to note how there tends to be times of control and times release or loss of control. Their book, published by Norton in 1986, can be found at http://www.amazon.com and is a mite on the technical side. The following links offer more insight into how emotions shape our journey.

Allaboutcouseling.com http://www.allaboutcounseling.com/shame.htm offers a variety of information for those searching. This link lands you on the differences between healthy and unhealthy shame emotions.

Does it seem that darkness threatens to hinder your journey? Read this page by John Bradshaw and Laura Prest http://home.golden.net/~soul/tshameg.html related toxic shame and guilt.

Gina's Story http://www.myweb.net/~gloria/gina_story.htm brings out a tendency which can happen in families overtaken with shame - not telling about past family events.

Family Education Network http://www.familyeducation.com offers insight into the use of shame in parenting. They also cover a wide variety of other topics.

Health Relationship Curriculum http://www.chebucto.ns.ca/CommunitySupport/Men4Change/shame.html#shame offers insight into shame and how your boundaries can be violated in a variety of ways. As a preemie parent, it has been our experience that "experts" and "professionals" tend to violate your boundaries the quickest, even when you yourself would be considered a professional.

The Lutheran http://www.thelutheran.org/9803/page16.html brings out the aspect of suffering where one's dreams, even though lost, must be heard by those wanting to help.

Shame during the quiet times http://rocamora.org/Page43.html occurs quite often. You may experience shame in public situations, but also in private while you have no one around.

Stepfamilies inFormation http://www.stepfamilyinfo.org offers insight into toxic shame and guilt (in contrast to healthy shame & guilt) - you don't have to be in a step family situation to benefit from this site.

Dealing With Loss http://www.rmit.edu.au/departments/xs/counsel/handout/COPELOSS.HTM insights offered by RMIT University of Australia.

PAIRS http://www.pairs.com/guilt.htm offers insight into how guilt can affect your life.

Anxiety, Resources for http://www.paems.com.au/article/index.html info about panic and anxiety.

Baby Blues http://www.nightingalerose.com/free/baby.html about postpartum depression, includes symptoms to look for.

Crisis, Grief, & Healing http://www.webhealing.com/ is meant to be a place men and women can browse to understand and honor the many different paths to heal strong emotions; provided by Tom Golden LCSW.

Helping Children Understand Emotions http://www.hec.ohio-state.edu/famlife/divorce/pguides/sp2.htm gives tips on how to help children address emotions related to loss. Presented by Ohio State University.

Psych central http://psychcentral.com/web.htm offers a VERY EXTENSIVE listing of links for general emotional support topics and psychology topics.

GriefNet http://rivendell.org/ is an online community of professionals and the bereaved, sharing information and assistance. Professionally supervised, both the web site and the support groups offer help for people experiencing losses of all types.

Grief and Loss http://www.mercer.edu/residence/griefand.htm site of Mercer University offers insight into how to address your feeling of grief or to help a friend during their time of grief.

Grieving and Healing http://www.sunflower.com/~dewatson/$cristoc.html a part of the Surviving Your Crises; Reviving Your Dreams series, offers insight into addressing grief related emotions.

Growth House http://www.growthhouse.org/ offers resources for families dealing with major illness or grief.

Mothers with Angels https://www.angelfire.com/hi2/motherswithangels.html this site will open your mind and heart to children through the memories planted within every mothers' heart. Poems, quotes, quips, stories, music, song lyrics, messages, biblical quotes, and humor, are blended for emotional support. Comfort, for grieving parents, is woven throughout this entire site, including a memorial flower garden dedicated to our Angels now in.

Southern Louisiana University Professor Sarah Brabrant http://www.usl.edu/NewsPublications/TheVermilion/96_10_04/page_03.html offers insight into handling grief, characterizing it as "the work you must do to move through pain".

Surviving Your Crisis; Reviving Your Dreams http://www.sunflower.com/~dewatson/%24cr-07-2.html offers insights on handling emotions surrounding from traumatic events (uses divorce as crisis in this example).

©2004 Greg & Christa Hall

home page http://www.journeyoasis.com

Contact us at greg@journeyoasis.com