jno

Our journey began at conception and took a route we had never planned. It not only takes you to places unknown, but your friends and acquaintances also. This poem helps describe some of our feelings as our child teetered at the edge of life (but stayed with us):

When No Words Seem Appropriate

I won't say, "I know how you feel" - because I don't.
I've lost parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends,
but I've never lost a child. So how can I say I know how you feel?

I won't say, "You'll get over it" - because you won't.
Life will have to go on. The washing, cooking, cleaning,
the common routine. These chores will take your mind off
your loved one, but the hurt will still be there.

I won't say, "Your other children will be a comfort to you" because they may not be. Many mothers I've talked to
say that after they have lost a child, they easily lose
their temper with their remaining children. Some even feel
resentful that they're alive and healthy when the other child is not.

I won't say, "Never mind, you're young enough to have
another baby" - because that won't help. A new baby cannot
replace the one that you've lost. A new baby will fill your
hours, keep you busy, give you sleepless nights. But it
will not replace the one you've lost.

You may hear all these platitudes from your friends and
relatives. They think they are helping. They don't know
what else to say. You will find out who your true friends
are at this time Many will avoid you because they can't
face you. Others will talk about the weather, the holidays
and the school concert but never about how you're coping.

So what will I say?
I will say, "I'm here. I care. Anytime. Anywhere." I
will talk about your loved one. We'll laugh about the good
memories. I won't mind how long you grieve. I won't tell
you to pull yourself together.

No, I don't know how you feel - but with sharing,
perhaps I will learn a little of what you are going through.
And perhaps you'll feel comfortable with me and find your
burden has eased. Try me.

Written by a pediatric nurse; Submitted to Ann Landers
from A 5th Portion of Chicken Soup for the Soul
Copyright 1998 by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen

Previous Next

Picture courtesy of Arttoday.com

home page http://www.journeyoasis.com