This page is stuff that I wrote....some of it doesn't
make sense, but that's because it's my thoughts.
The seclusion of my true self
Is a burden to my soul
I cry out in agony from the pain
As I search for someone to prove me wrong
The pressures to which
My being is subjected
Forces me to the conclusion that
I am alone in this world
Longing to be myself I am
a hypocrite
For I hate those who are fake
I am comfortable within myself
Yet every move I make disgusts me
Only one person have I ever let into my heart
That one person is still there
But my heart has been torn
Never again will I open myself up
Love is poison
Because of which
I am now weak
In the widening mass deception classics
of past tense we fade slowly while our values take root only to wither
away to nothingness during which our heirloom treasures rot as eggs in
the sun. The mass of filth that encompasses each of us slowly works
its way into our inner being while we consume useless vitamins and prescription
pills. Our veins flow with not only the reddest of blood but the
blackest dirt that comes from the belief of total perfection which blinds
us into believing we are. Scars of past resurface in the most obvious
of places where we cannot see them though they are there. Never again
will we succumb to the painful pleasures of living as long as we can inhabit
our miserable pain free towns governed by overweight senators more interested
in keeping themselves entertained than in the realistic issues of everyday
life.
We treat the living as though they
are nothing,
Yet speak of the dead as though
they are with us.
Our society is based on a twisted
irony
That has dug itself a hole in our
definition of normality.
The spreading chaos that completes
our lives is in this moment
Destroying us from within.
Empty words are sent to Heaven
While the collection plate is being
filled by
The wealthy leaders who know not
sacrifice.
At the same time they are trying
to buy a spot in Heaven,
The shunned beggar comes along and
offers a mere penny
While openly talking to God.
While he is being ridiculed, fire
pours out from the sky
Killing all but the beggar who has
been glorified and lifted to a high position
On account of his sacrifice and
faith.
The end is coming where all will
be judged,
Yet no one cares except the beggars.
Our reward is near, take faith.
I'm drowning in a jar of lies
Corroded through the skin while like muscles breaking my mind goes
numb
Midnight hour of darkest pain
Living in deception
Hypocritical viewpoints of authorities are driving my eyes insane until
they burst from my skull to swim on the floor like fish frying in a pan
of nothingness
Under my nail is a little man who speaks loudly as though to attract
the attention of those lost souls whose hopeless cases are covered in mud
that is cracking and drying only to be rained upon by me
From my jar of lies
You made me want you so much more
Long for the things out of my reach
You helped me to see the light
In this world of hopelessness
When I was in over my head
It was your hands pulling me up for air
Now as I want to hold you
I shy away from your touch
I want us to be together
But I'm sinking and will pull you under
Drown you with my love
Tears falling
Like blood flowing from my soul
I ran to you in need of comfort
Hoping for a warm embrace
Instead I received an icy glare
And a cold shoulder
Left shivering and naked
I am ashamed
With one look
You tore my heart out
And ripped my soul
I am shattered
Broken like glass
As I go throughout the day
I despise their sympathetic eyes
Because behind them
They are laughing
It didn't happen to them
So they take pleasure in
My pain
My emptiness
Damn their sympathetic eyes
The peaceful ignorance shattered by
One look, one smile
From you, beautiful you
You know I can't help the way I feel
But you choose to let me wait
Patiently, at your convenience
The butterflies that once fluttered in my stomach are now dead
Digesting in the acids of my pain
Impatiently waiting for your convenience
I was happy until you said hi
Acknowledging me made my attraction to you so much greater
Multiplied by eleven
I wish you'd make up my mind as to what to do about
This thing called us
There is no us, really, there could be
Too bad thought, I'm busy
I'm impatiently waiting for your convenience