Dufus & Shirt…

...Carri-on-(all)-nite!!

Day Two (Sunday)

Rising the next day, the two showered and went down to the restaurant, sharing a lift with “Mother Bloodtide”. Finding an empty table, they sat down, and Dufus was very excited when Mary Tamm entered a few minutes later and sat at the next table. Unfortunately this was the table to which Shirt had his back, so completely failed to understand Dufus’ attempts to draw his attention to this. Rising to get cereal, Shirt passed Nicholas Briggs and Charlie Ross. In the corner, the two Carrionites and partners were tucking into bacon and eggs. After the previous night’s exertions, the majority of attendees were looking a little “worse for wear”. Ensuring that they got their moneysworth from the included breakfast, the two filled up on cereal and a fried breakfast, as well as tea and orange juice. Looking at his watch, Shirt noticed that the first panel of the day was due to start, and so they returned to their room, grabbed their items for signing, and made their way to the convention area. A sign indicated that Lalla Ward would now be unable to attend due to the flooding.

Taking their seats in the panel room, they were first treated to a trailer for the day’s guests, before the first panel was announced. Glancing over to the doors through which the guests were due to come, Shirt noticed that Charlie Ross was standing in them. Sure enough, when Murray Melvin (Bilis from “Torchwood”) and Matt Rippy (the ‘real’ Captain Jack) were announced, Mr. Ross was announced as the interviewer. There then followed one of the best panels that Dufus and Shirt had ever seen, with Murray Melvin charming the entire room with his tales of being an ‘ac-tor’, and Matt Rippy refusing to ‘kiss and tell’ about Mr. Barrowman’s snogging prowess. Matt also spoke about his first television sex scene being with Mary Tamm in “Jonathan Creek”, and how pleased he had been to remake her acquaintance earlier. Halfway through, Shirt noticed the form of Mr. Quarrelstick enter the hall and stand to one side.

“Any questions ?”, asked Charlie.

The uber-fan’s hand went straight up.

Unable to let it go, he began, “Firstly, sorry -I was supposed to be interviewing you this morning, but I was ten minutes late…” He then asked about the first episode of “The Avengers” which had featured Murray, and the room was treated to a frank description of the cast’s opinion of the script. Both Murray and Matt expressed a strong desire to return, with Murray emphasising that they just need to ask him. The panel concluded, the event MC appeared to state that Gareth David Lloyd (Ianto from “Torchwood”) had not yet arrived and so would be sharing a photo studio later that morning.

Leaving the convention area, Dufus and Shirt returned to their room, and checking that they had everything with them, went down to reception to check out, then dump excess luggage in the boot of Dufus’ car. Returning to the panel room, they watched Nicholas Briggs (voice artiste) and Elizabeth Fost (Auton/Slitheen). Nicholas was rabbitting away as ever, but Elizabeth had little to say other than the Slitheen costumes were heavy and sweaty. Despite the hardships being described by Elizabeth, Nick continued to moan about being in draughty corridors with lip-mikes, and how his feet ached sitting down for so long. However, Shirt was interested when he stated that he had once played Sherlock Holmes, before launching into a full description of when he played Dracula in an (unintentionally) amusing production. The next panel was to be Gareth David-Lloyd, but he was still a no-show, so a video of Angela Bruce at one of Seventh Galaxy’s other conventions was put on. Dufus and Shirt decided to go down to the merchandise room again, but on the way Dufus was tempted by some of the prints available at two artists’ stalls. He finally purchased a print of the six Masters (Delgado, Pratt/Beevers, Ainley, Roberts, Jacobi & Simm), one day too late to get it signed by Mr. Roberts.

Wandering back upstairs, their badge numbers were just being added to the range that could go in for autographs. The two Carrionites were signing again, obviously enjoying themselves so much that they had stayed for an extra day. However, Dufus and Shirt joined a short queue for Clare Clifford.

‘Don’t ask what we thought about you last night’, thought Shirt, concerned at what his response might be.

However, Ms. Clifford simply signed DVD and video covers for “Earthshock” and Shirt’s “The Eighties”.

Moving on, they joined a medium length queue for Mary Tamm, and were soon meeting the first Romana.

Mary seemed surprised that her “Jonathan Creek” episode was on DVD, but signed Shirt’s DVD cover anyway, as well as one of the “Gallifrey” CDs. Whilst Dufus was getting her to sign his covers, he described how much Chalky, Dufus, Shirt and Tigger had enjoyed her as Queen Rat in “Dick Whittington” at a theatre in Sutton a few Christmases before. Mary remembered the engagement, and told them that she regrets that she is not offered more panto work.

The longest queue was for Louise Jameson. Joining it, the two struggled to sort out the many covers that they were both carrying. Finally reaching the front, Shirt proffered his “Bedroom Farce” programme for Louise to sign.

“Where did you see it ?”, she asked.

“Richmond”, Shirt replied.

“The audiences were good at Richmond”, Louise commented.

A “Gallifrey” CD signed, and Shirt moved out of the way for Dufus, who as well as getting his items signed, bought two composite photo images (of “Robots of Death” and “Invasion of Time”) for Louise to sign.

Rejoining Shirt in the foyer outside, Dufus took a closer look at the photos and decided that he wasn’t that keen on them.

Moving into the panel room, various fan films were now being shown, including a hilarious version of “The Five Doctors”.

It being lunchtime, the two again sallied forth into Birmingham.

“I’ve never been to the Bullring”, said Dufus, gesturing at the imposing structure.

“Let’s put that right then”, said Shirt, leading the way into the shopping centre. A toy shop which had been identified as a possible source of action figures proved to be closed, and there was little else of interest, so the two chose to stop for lunch, frequenting the other fast-food chain so abhorred by the TVM Master.

Arriving back at the convention area, there was a sign indicating that Gareth David Lloyd would not be attending. This disappointed both of them, particularly Shirt who was hoping that he might have brought his girlfriend, the ‘sex gas girl’ with him. Entering the panel room, they caught the end of a Mary Tamm panel. The next panel was to be MDW, with editor Clayton Hickman and Gareth Roberts (for moral support). The panel began with Clayton promising to reveal all about the magazine as he was leaving in 2 weeks time.

“Shall we stay for this ?”, Shirt whispered to Dufus.

Before Dufus could respond, the electronic message board indicated that the pair’s badge numbers had come up for autographs, so both picked up their stuff and hurried next door.

First up was Elizabeth Fost, who happily signed Shirt’s Series 1 Poster and Auton photo, as well as Dufus’ “Rose” and “Aliens of London” DVD covers. Moving on to the next table, Nicholas Briggs was signing, and seemed pleased that he was not been offered yet another Dalek action figure in its original packaging to be signed. Series 3 Poster, “The Inside Story”, “The Nowhere Place” and “Creatures and Demons” signed, the two moved off to meet Matt Rippy, struggling to sort their “Torchwood” posters out. Shirt was first, managing to roll his poster out enough for Matt to sign, then proffering his “Jonathan Creek” DVD already signed by Mary. Matt talked again about being in bed with Mary Tamm (professionally), before Shirt made his excuses and moved on. Dufus also got his poster signed, as well as his “Captain Jack” DVD cover, before taking a swift photo.

Shirt was waiting patiently for him in the Murray Melvin queue, trying not to drop his poster and “Jonathan Creek” DVD cover which he was also going to get Murray to sign. The queue moved slower than others that day, but eventually Shirt was at the front. Murray signed the poster with a flourish, and then the DVD cover.

“Who else has signed it ?”, he asked.

Shirt told, adding, “They were in the other Christmas Special”.

Shirt then posed with Murray for a photo taken by Dufus, telling him as he left.

“I hope they bring Bilis back soon”

“As soon as they ask. As soon as they ask”, Murray replied, with Shirt almost expecting a ‘dear boy’ between the two sentences.

Dufus got his poster and “Torchwood” DVD cover signed, and joined Shirt at the door.

“Murray Melvin for the seventh Master”, said Shirt, “the campaign starts here !”.

Moving into the main panel room, they were just in time for the beginning of the final panel of the day – Louise Jameson and Clare Clifford. Having drawn the raffle (3 times), and someone finally having won a complete set of “Doctor Who” standees, the panel began. Clare had only a limited number of anecdotes (being in only one story) but the tone was jovial with Charlie Ross facilitating. Feeling left out, Louise expressed a desire to do stand-up comedy, and revealed to the gathered throng that Colin Baker had fallen asleep in bed with her on several occasions (in “Bedroom Farce”, to scupper any rumours). She had also enjoyed her role in the radio version of “Moths Ate My Doctor Who Scarf”. All too soon the panel was over, and due to the majority of guests having already started for home, there was no final photocall. On the way, Shirt stopped to rummage in his bag looking for a wallet of CD covers including that for “Pier Pressure”, whose author, Robert Ross, was a few feet away. However, he couldn’t find it, so gave up.

Making their way back to the car park, Dufus and Shirt joined the final queue of the weekend, to pay for their parking. The people in front were complaining at the cost, with a voice from behind Shirt agreeing. Turning round, the dissenter proved to be Mary Tamm. Pushing their ticket into the machine, their late arrival the previous day meant that they were just within a lower pay band. Having paid the required fee, they returned to Dufus’ car where a cursory search still failed to turn up Shirt’s missing CD covers. Leaving Birmingham without incident, Shirt continuing to rummage through all his bags looking for the covers, they were soon speeding back to Dufus’, arriving half-an-hour later. Unpacking all the bags from the boot, they came across Shirt’s covers under Dufus’ case.

Struggling back to Dufus’ house, they dumped all their bags in a pile in the middle of the room. Dufus then remembered that he had meatballs for two which were swiftly consumed. It still being reasonably light, they wandered over to the road that allegedly had a TARDIS in it, but having walked all the way round, peering into all gardens, again failed to find any sight of it, even from the spot where Dufus claimed to have seen its roof. Returning to Dufus’, the rest of the evening was spent in adding Dufus’ new signatures to his catalogue. Having had a tiring weekend, they retired early.

Epilogue (Monday)

Dufus dropped Shirt at Tamworth Station on his way to work, and having got a better idea of central Birmingham, Shirt walked in the most direct route to where he was to catch the bus. Arriving with 10 minutes to spare, he settled in on the coach, and pondered on another truly excellent weekend – the surprisingly approachable Eric Roberts, the sublime Murray Melvin, five new series guests, three classic companions – that even the weather couldn’t spoil. Next year’s “Bad Wolf” seemed a definite possibility.

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