| "All-Star recap..." (February 10, 1998)
I got an e-mail from a friend who told me to write another article. He said my site had become stagnant. For your collective information, I was in Cuba for a week, so I wasn't exactly in writing form. For you Americans out there, who will never visit Cuba, suckers! Man are you missing out. Cuba rocks. Cheap drinks. Cheap cigars. Awesome. And for you out there who are lucky enough not to be Americans, go to Cuba. Help the economy, drink bottles of silver rum like its water, I did. And now, the news.
I get back from my trip and what is waiting for me? The All-Star game and it's pre-game hype, All-Star Saturday. I must admit, I was intrigued with this whole 2-Ball thing. I looked interesting. So I stayed home Saturday, reminding myself, I'm not a loser for being home on a Saturday night, I was doing this for the sake of basketball and for my homepage. I had a friend come over, but that doesn't make it any better does it. At least I wasn't playing Dungeons and Dragons, wearing red sweat pants with gray socks and running shoes or stayed on-line checking NBA.com every 30 seconds.
So I pull up some couch, grab some barbecue baked Lays (which rock) and tune in to TNT. The first event was the 2-ball event. I picked Mitch Richmond and Ruthie Bolden-Holifield of Sacramento to win. I thought about picking Houston (Drexler and Cooper), but I figured Drexler didn't have the range and consistency. Besides Coop and Drex are like a combined 100 years old. I actually thought that Phoenix would win because both were good shooters. Anyway, after watching the event for the first round, it became apparent, that it was super dull. The novelty wore off in about 3 minutes. After seeing the two different styles of play a) guy stands at the three point line and heaves up bricks while woman runs around or b) both run around. Boy this was exciting. I love watching a fast game of horse. You missed! You're a "h-o-r". Funny. Get it. Ugh. It was bad. Besides, whose idea was it for Karl Malone to shoot threes, this is a power forward, not a three point shooter. They should have got Stockton or Hornacek, at least they can hoist the three. Karl was better in the second round, though. Also, Tami Reiss was cute. I want a WNBA team in Toronto so I can meet her. She's young and cute. Big hair though. I could talk more about 2-ball but that would be a waste of well, time, talent, characters, Internet time, etc. All I can think about during this whole debacle was "DUNK THE DAMN BALL."
Next, the Rookie game. I was expecting high lights and awesome dunks and alley-oops. It had some. Tracy McGrady had an awesome windmill dunk. But all in all, the rookies in the game weren't the flashy, talented players of the previous years. Z from Cleveland was great, but he was way taller than any other player on the court. He did deserve the MVP. Ron Mercer's dunk was rude as well. It was great. I just wish the rookies played harder and more controlled earlier on and then let it loose later. It would have, in my mind, created a better flow. At least the rookie game is better than the Legends of the NBA. You can only watch Norm Nixon or David Thompson tear their ACL so many times.
The Million Dollar shot. Props for the shooter. I wouldn't have hit the rim with that ugly shot. It was U-G-L-Y, you need an alibi. It was ugly. Hell, I would have air balled with my normal shot, I would have been so damn scared. He didn't seem so nervous either. And a shout out to the guy for his skull-cap. He said he didn't wear his yarmulke all the time, but for this he did because his rabbi ask him to. Kind of like free subliminal advertising. Did you notice that unlike some athletes, he didn't say "I'd like to thank Jesus Christ, my Lord and savior." He wasn't like, "I'd like to thank God for this opportunity." Got to love that understated Jewish mentality from New York.
Here I would like insert my own opinion that the NBA should create a new event to replace the dunk contest, but it would still contain team work, the Alley-Oop contest. It could be sponsored by the Army, you could have The U.S. Army Alley-Oop contest, and still have those stupid teammate commercials. Just think, of this lineup:
Brevin Knight and Shawn Kemp (Cleveland)
Stephon Marbury and Kevin Garnett (Minnesota)
Nick Van Exel and Eddie Jones/Kobe Bryant (L.A. Lakers)
Jason Kidd and Antonio McDyess (Phoenix)
You get the idea. It would be cool.
The Three Point shoot out is marquee event of the evening. But without reigning champion Steve Kerr, it didn't really have the same effect. It seemed to me that most shooters were bricking more often than before. I guess the moved back line had some effect. Jeff Hornacek won. I thought it would be Dale Ellis. I never guessed a jump shooter would win, especially if he'd have to go to a shootout.
All in all, it was a fun night, but I still think the NBA marketing machine could do better. I think they could package it better, have fewer delays and maybe add an event. Just a suggestion.
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