Origin of Rydgen

Chapter 1

Jeremy walked down the narrow street in the cool August evening. There was a slight breeze coming off of Lake Michigan, which was five miles east of where he was now walking. He adjusted his blue flannel as it billowed in the wind. His collar-length hair was in a tail, so that wasn’t getting in his face. It wouldn’t have mattered anyway; he was looking at the ground as he traveled. It had been a long day of searching for a fitting job. Now he’ll have to start again tomorrow, this time settling for anyone that will hire him.
He had been working at an advertisement company, in the art department. He drew the little ads for various products and services in the Frosty Corner Stone, Frosty Corner’s daily newspaper. Jeremy made a decent wage there, but didn’t realize that it wasn’t a stable job. Last week he felt he had a good foot in the door for a career, and this week, just two days ago, a guy with more experience, and some odd dozen degrees, applied for his job, and to Jeremy’s surprise, got it. Not even so much as a, “Thanks, we appreciate what you’ve done here,” just a severance pay and swift kick in his esteem as he left the building.
Today was spent looking for a similar job, but no one needed him. Now he’ll have to settle for some dingy little job in retail or whoever will hire him. All the searching he did this afternoon left him famished. There was a Taco Hut up ahead, so he needn’t wait long for food. He arrived, ordered his usual meal and drink, and since he was tired from his quest he decided to eat in instead of taking it to his apartment. There was a newspaper left on the table he chose, so he opened it up to the Help Wanted section, scanning for a job as he started on a taco.
“Hey pal,” a voice behind Jeremy spoke, “I couldn’t help but notice you’re looking for a job.”
Jeremy turned cautiously, a string of cheese hanging out of his mouth. He sucked it in, and looked at the owner of the voice. The guy looked like an average Joe. Sweater, glasses, balding, kind of pudgy. Ah hell, Jeremy thought, might as well humor him. “Yeah, I am. So?”
“A good job with good money is hard to come across,” the guy continued. He stuck out his hand. “Roger Clemfield.”
Jeremy reluctantly grasped Roger’s hand, and shook. “Jeremy.”
“No last name?”
“None that concerns anyone.”
“Cautious fellow, that’s a good thing to be these days,” Roger said, letting go of Jeremy’s hand. “However, I’m hoping you’ll put some more trust in me soon. Mind if I…” he said, gesturing to the seat across from Jeremy.
“Yeah, okay.” He watched Roger as he grasped his cane, which Jeremy just now noticed, and lumbered to the empty seat. “So what is it you’re trying to sell me?” Jeremy asked skeptically.
“Oh no, I’m not trying to sell you a thing. I’m making an offer I think you might like.”
“Oh-ho really?”
“Yes my good civilian. I’m going to offer you a chance to make more than you did where you worked last, for a very, very simple job.”
“Whoa, hey now,” Jeremy interrupted, putting his hands up, “heh, sounds a little dirty to me…”
“Bah, you watch too much TV kid. I just desperately need someone to fill a job none of my guys have time to do, and I’m willing to pay good money for it.”
Jeremy bit into another taco, chewing it and the information he just received.
“Okay,” he said after swallowing, “what is this all important job that no one seems to have time to do?”
“Delivery,” Roger said simply. “Driving a van full of our product-“
“Which would be?” Jeremy asked suspiciously.
“Instant pancake powder. It sells quite well.”
“Yeah, I’d imagine so,” Jeremy replied, thinking about his own supply in his kitchen cupboard.
Roger sensed he had this young adult’s attention with the lure. Now he needed the right move to get him to bite. “Oh yeah, there’s another thing I should mention about this job; you’ll get paid fully in cash, every week.”
Jeremy’s eyes lightened up at that sentence, and almost choked on a chunk of taco meat. The lure was set. “*cough* How much cash are we talking about?”
Time to set the hook. “A thousand a week.”
This time Jeremy did choke on his food, sputtering and coughing. Roger gestured to smack him in the back, but Jeremy waved him away, and took a long drink from his cola. Soon the coughing died down, and he spoke.
“You must be in much need of a delivery boy to pay that much!”
“Oh I am!” Roger gleamed. “If you’re interested, you can come by and see me at our warehouse across the street here,” he pointed out the window to a building right across the street. “And if you aren’t interested, I can find someone else who could use that kind of money you know.” Roger was reeling in slowly, so as to wear his prey down.
“Well,” Jeremy thought out loud, “I do need to pay my rent, and one week would cover all that… and more…”
“I’ll keep the position open till tomorrow at noon. If I don’t hear from you by then, tough cookies, eh kid?” With that Roger got up on his cane, shook Jeremy’s hand, and strolled out the door and to his warehouse.
Jeremy finished his other taco and burrito quickly, but carefully so that he wouldn’t choke to death at this most inopportune time to do such a thing, took his drink, and headed home.
**********
Jeremy made his way up the stairs to his fifth floor apartment. It was a simple living compartment, with just the necessities for a single occupant. He stuck his key in the knob, but found it was already unlocked. He was very sure he locked it on his way out this morning. He opened the door slowly, thanking fate that he oiled the hinges last week. Slipping in quietly into the common area, making his way to the light switch, stepping on something unstable, foot stretching forward, other leg collapsing, landing with a thud and a yelp in the splits position, or at least as close as he could physically manage. He rolled over to his side, clutching his crotch, and to his surprise received a blow to his head.
“AAGH!! What the hell?!” he yelled, now clutching his head.
“Jeremy?” a confused female voice asked.
He looked up, squinting through the pain, to see a red-headed female standing over him with a high heel in her hand, ready to strike. “Wendy?!”
“Oh Jeremy, I’m so sorry about that!” Wendy said, kneeling down to help him up. “I heard the noise and you know, thought it was an intruder, so I defended myself.”
“Yeah, I noticed,” Jeremy said, standing up and looking at his hand. “Aw man! I’m bleeding!” He stuck his hand back where he was struck, and put it back in his view. “Definitely bleeding.”
“I’m sorry, really! Let’s get you in the bathroom and clean you up.”
They made their way into the lavatory, turned on the lights, and saw where the heel hit his head. Wendy took a washcloth, soaked it with cold water, and proceeded to clean Jeremy up.
“How did you get in, anyway? ACK! Easy with that…” he asked.
Wendy smiled and said, “I convinced your landlord it was your birthday, and that I was a surprise stripper who was supposed to be in your place before you arrived.”
“It probably didn’t take much to make him believe it. He’s a total Gump.” Another thought crossed his mind. “Why did you want to be here before me?”
“Part of what I told your landlord was true. I wanted to surprise you. Brace yourself, this will sting a bit.” Wendy now had a cotton swab soaked with rubbing alcohol, and started applying it to his head. He took a quick intake of breath as she did so. “You needed some cheering up after being tossed out of the Stone like that. All of us miss you already. You were always ready to lighten up any situation that occurred, and you were a decent guy. So I thought maybe a surprise visit and a movie would help you in your time of unemployment.” She dropped the cloth in the sink and turned Jeremy around to face her. “All fixed!” She smiled warmly at him, looking him right in the eyes. His brown eyes stared back at her green eyes, and he started feeling weak.
“Err… um… thanks…” he managed to squeak. He pulled himself together and remembered what happened at Taco Hut. “Hey, I’ve some really good news!”
“Oh yeah?” Wendy asked, still keeping eye contact.
“Yeah, I think I found an easy, well-paying job,” he said, still speaking weakly.
“That’s great news!” she said, bringing Jeremy closer to her. “I’d say we don’t need a movie to cheer you up. What we need is a way to celebrate your new job.” She moved in swiftly, clasping her lips against Jeremy’s. He closed his eyes, going with the flow. They finally parted for air a couple minutes later.
“That was sudden,” Jeremy said softly, then added, “and very enjoyable”
“Well, I can share some more enjoyable things with you,” Wendy breathed.
“Wait Wendy,” he said, not wanting to give her the wrong impression, “that would be too sudden. I mean, we’re friends, right?”
It didn’t work. She already looked put off. “What’s the matter? We can be more than just ‘friends’ you know, especially since we aren’t coworkers anymore.” She placed her arms over his shoulders again, but he gently took them off.
“Wendy, nothing is the matter, I just… never knew you felt like this before. Let’s take it a step at a time.”
“You mean like dating first?”
“Yeah, like that. In fact, if you’re still in the mood, we can go see that movie you’d wanted to see earlier.”
"Sure, I’d like that," Wendy said, in a better mood. The two of them exited the bathroom, into the short hallway, through the living room, and out of the apartment, Jeremy making sure he locked the door this time.
Boy, seems things are going pretty good for this guy, huh? Let’s see how long it will last. Find out in the next chapter…

Chapter 2

“Is that the last crate?” Jeremy asked as he positioned a wood container in the back of his delivery van.
“Yeah, that’s the last one,” a burly loader answered back. “You got them all secure, boy?”
“Of course, man! I’ve been doing this for a couple weeks now, I think I have the hang of it.” It was a simple job. Help the workers load the van, then drive the vehicle full of crates of Miracle Pancake Powder to the designated loading bay at the Frosty Corners Airport for shipment. Anyone can do that, and Jeremy was no different. After being let go by his previous advertisement drawing job, he was fortunate enough to run into someone who needed an extra guy to make the delivery of his products, and at a grand, paid in cash, every week, how could he go wrong? Being able to pay his rent, his necessary bills, and having plenty left over for little extras, Jeremy was living pretty well for himself.
Also, his upgraded relationship with a coworker from his previous job was going very well. They have been spending a lot of time together, seeing movies, dinners, putt-putt golf, even video game playing! He and Wendy have been getting a whole lot closer throughout the past two weeks. Jeremy thinks that it may be time to upgrade it even further tonight after dinner. He knows she is very willing to move on, seeing as it was she who made the first move two weeks ago…
A loud noise distracted Jeremy from his plans. It sounded like gunfire. He froze where he was, in the back of the van finishing securing the crate. Then there came yelling and more gunfire from inside the building. He tried to listen to what was being said between gunshots.
“…it right there!! Stop! We’ve surrounded this blo…”
“…rid of it all, too much evidence here…”
“…nder arrest the whole lot of you, so dro…”
“…icer down, I repeat, officer dow…”
“…atch it! We gotta get out of here pront…”
Methinks I’m in one of those ‘wrong time, wrong place’ type situations, he thought as he finally realized the best thing to do is slip away. As he turned to the exit behind him, a loud bang sounded, and it all went dark. Out of surprise and panic, Jeremy flailed his arms around, making sure he was okay. After realizing he wasn’t hurt, he was jerked off his balance, as if the floor left him. Laying on his stomach, he realized that the sudden noise and darkness was due to the van door closing, and he was thrown off his feet by the sudden acceleration of the van as somebody used it to get away.
What the hell is happening around here?! he demanded to himself. Why would the police storm an instant pancake powder… The last word made his mind take a drastic detour onto another train of thought. Powder… police… deliveries… oh geez, oh crap, oh $#!^!!!! He got up and rushed to the door, but in its slamming the door became jammed, leaving Jeremy nowhere to go, but wherever the drivers were headed.
He made his way to the front of the van, and knocked on the small window separating the cargo and cab sections.
“The hell??” a voice cried.
“Hey, um… can you guys drop me off at the next corner?” Jeremy asked.
“It’s the boy who’s s’posed to drive this thing! Mebbe he gave us away! I’ll get ridda him right now…”
“NO!” the driver said sternly. Jeremy saw it was Roger, the balding, chubby man who gave him the job in the first place. He turned to Jeremy briefly. “Kid, tell me straight up right now what you know.”
“Err… well, I didn’t know anything at all until I heard the gunshots, then the yelling, and I just figured out that there’s crack or something in these boxes back here with me instead of pancake powder. I swear I had no idea earlier.”
“Lying little faggot…” that remark was rewarded with a swift crack in the jaw with the butt of the gun in Roger’s hand.
“I believe him, and I suggest you do too, Klay,” Roger hissed at his passenger. “Tell you what’s going to happen, kid,” he began, in a friendlier tone. “You’re a good worker, and never gave me trouble. I also trust you. Now, you realize you know enough to make trouble for me and my group,” he made a sharp right turn, sending Jeremy sailing into the left wall, “and I can’t have that. I also don’t want to see you dead. So we’re going to take a little trip, the three of us. We’re going where you can’t squeak a word to anyone, because there won’t be anyone where we’re headed. You just take it all in stride, and not try to escape or make things difficult, and you’ll live. Granted it’ll be an adjustment,” another sharp turn, this time to the left, and Jeremy to the right, “but if you don’t like it, we’ll go with the alternative, and it’s not a very lively choice, get it?”
Jeremy rubbed his bruised sides, and said, “Yeah, yeah, I got you.” He sat down, leaning against the front of the cargo partition in silence the rest of the trip to the airport, trying to soak in what just happened. He was still in shock as they screeched to a halt at the loading bay, finding that two other cars full of their cohorts made it here, as he helped unload the crates into the plane, and as they took off into the afternoon sky.
**********
A meaty hand landed on Jeremy’s shoulder, disrupting his zombie-like state of mind.
“Come on, kid,” Roger said, “South America isn’t that bad. A bit more humid than I like myself, but not bad.”
Jeremy just turned his head and stared blankly at him, then turned back.
“Fine then. I’ll talk to you when you’re not as dead, or maybe when you’re more dead if this keeps up.” Roger got up off the web seat next to Jeremy and hobbled through a door in the front of the plane. This was his area, equivalent to the first class section on a commercial jet, but made for one person. When he reached his regular seat, one of his subordinates approached him.
“Sir, why do you wanna keep the twerp so much? We can make sure he’s silent by simply trowing him offa the plane.”
“Because, er… Garry is it? He didn’t do anything to deserve such treatment. I don’t think he’s capable of doing something so stupid as to alert the authorities even if he did know about our crack smuggling beforehand. We’ll just add him to our operation.”
“Yeah well he don’t look to enthused to be here to me.”
“Now no, but I know how to make him see it our way.” Roger dismissed the workman and leaned back in his recliner. He grabbed the wine glass that was sitting next to him and sipped it, then smiled. He had a minor setback, but once the heat died down he would return, but in another city with a fresh start. He’s had to do that two times before this. Not bad for seventeen years in the business.
Back in the not-so-comfortable cargo area, Jeremy turned his attention to the window next to him. It was a mere porthole, but it offered a nice view of the lush, green overgrowth of the rain forest below. He’ll have to get used to it, because it’ll be his home now. But again, a hand slapped his shoulder, disrupting his concentration.
“Hey boy,” one of the workmen smiled a toothy grin at him, “seeing as how you’re doing nothing, why don’tcha help us out over here?” He pointed to the rear of the plane, as the ramp opened slowly. “See, we’re a little heavy with all this stuff, and we gotta push one or two crates off so we can go up higher…”
Jeremy reluctantly stood up, looking from the guy to the ramp to the other guys by the crates. He walked over to the crates, flannel flowing from his hips, where it was tied. It was pretty darn loud now, from all the wind, the engines droning, and other plane noises combining to almost deafen its occupants. As he reached the crate closest to the opening, the workman who asked for help gave the other men by Jeremy a thumbs down. They nodded, and closed in on their unsuspecting target. Jeremy turned to see if he was going to get any help with this crate, but instead saw nothing but chests, then a fist, then the floor as he felt his body twisting, being lifted off the ramp. He flailed around, realizing too late what was about to happen, as he felt himself being swung back, then forward and through the cargo opening, then falling… and falling… and falling… His stomach felt like it was jumping out of his ear as he plummeted from 7,500 feet above the jungle.
To his own surprise, Jeremy wasn’t very worried. Then he remembered why. He hates flying, and even though he was in shock, he still managed to snag a parachute as they entered the plane, and strapped it to his butt so he wouldn’t be without one if the plane decided to impersonate a rock. His flannel hid it from his assailants, fortunate for him. He untied his flannel from his waist, but the wind from his fall ripped it from his hand. Dammit, that was one of my favorite ones!! he thought. He also realized that the same thing might happen if he tried to reposition his shute, so bracing for whatever might happen, he pulled the cord from where it was, and vvvvvwipfwipfwipfwip!!!
“Nyyargh!! My crotch!” was Jeremy’s response to the sudden tug from his buttshute, meaning that it worked, and it held, and he wouldn’t go splat in the jungle below. He sighed a big breath of relief as he floated towards the big green entanglement.
Soon he broke through the jungle roof, and stopped. Setback… the shute became snagged in the myriad of branches sheltering the ground. Guess I’ll just have to loosen up this strap here and… “WhooooaaaOOOAAAA!!!!” THUNK! “Ugh!” THWAK! CRACK! “Aaargh!” crunchlecracksnapwhipwhackWHUMP!!! “oooooooooooh… wrong st-st-strap I t-think” and he promptly passed out from the trip down through the branches of the tall specimen of rain forest trees.
**********
Jeremy woke up to the sounds of very unfamiliar surroundings. Whoopings, shrieks, chirps, bug noises… all never before heard before. It was also dark, so that didn’t help him out much. He struggled to get up, but failed. There were too many parts of his body screaming at him at once. He had to focus on getting off the ground before something decided he was indeed a corpse, and would make a great meal. He firmly planted, as painful as it was, his hands in the soft tropical soil, and slowly, painfully, pushed his face and upper torso off the ground. Still shaking from lack of strength, he managed to get his legs working to lift himself the rest of the way, and for a finale, stand up. Then his head spun, stars blinked, footing was lost, and he tumbled backwards, right into the same tree he fell out of.
“Agh! Ouch ouch ouch, oooooooh man!!” He moved his arms around his body, finding that no matter where it brushed his skin was bruised or tender. He thought he might even have a couple cracked or broken ribs, as his breathing was a bit difficult. His left arm hurt like a bitch, and he probed it some more to find that it was fractured or cracked or something. He was no doc, but he knew he was in bad shape. As well as lost. And hungry.
“I never thought I’d have to actually use what my dad taught me about surviving with nothing to help you out. I hope I remember enough to live.” His father was in the marines, and had taught Jeremy plenty about emergency survival before he was blown to bits just offshore of an installation he was ordered to destroy with several other commandos.
He looked around, squinting in the darkness, trying to find something edible. It was no use, he’d have to wait until morning. Another bit of info flashed in his head. He had a KitKat bar in his flannel pocke—oh yeah, that’s gone with the wind. For some reason he found that extremely funny and laughed. Not only laughed, but seriously cracked up. He was in such a state of hysteria he fell on his ass, which just caused him to unbelievably laugh even harder, only dying down as he fell asleep, or passed out, whichever the case was.

Chapter 3

Wendy called the police station for the umpteenth time this week, and it went as the other umpteen calls went.
“Hello, yes? … Yes, I’m Wendy Riley, and … yes, I’ve called before … still no word on finding him? … Are you sure? It’s just that it’s be- … yes I know there are other missing people out there … yes yes, all right … You have my number, right? … Yes that’s it … okay, thanks … bye.” CLICK
She stood by her phone, cradling her chin in her hand as she weeped silently. Then she felt something brush up on her ankle. She knew without looking down that it was Gunther, Jeremy’s cat, whom she decided to bring to her apartment after a few days of Jeremy’s apartment being empty, and no word from him. He resembled a puma, but smaller. At the same time he was larger than most housecats. He looked up at Wendy, who felt his eyes staring at her. She looked down, putting her hand against his head as he rubbed it into her hand. She knelt down and let him jump into her lap.
“Yes, I know you miss him too, Gunther,” she said softly to him, petting his back. “God I wish I knew what’s going on with him! It’s been a month now, and there’s been no trace of him at all!”
All too suddenly her phone rang. It startled the both of them as she stood up, causing Gunther to slip off her smooth legs. She picked up the receiver.
“H-hello?” Wendy stammered.
“Good afternoon ma’am, is Wendy Ri-“ the voice at the other end of the line started.
“Yes, that’s me. Who is this?”
“This is Sgt. Clemens at the station you keep calling. I think we’ve found out a little info on that missing person you reported.”
**********
“No no no!!” Wendy argued. “I can’t believe that he would be tied up in something like this!” She threw the photographs she was given to the floor.
“Miss, please,” Sgt. Clemens urged her, “Calm down. I know this might be a shock, but it’s what our surveillance team found out last month before they busted into the whole operation. He was their delivery boy. He wasn’t with the group caught or killed, so that means he’s still alive, probably got away with the others.”
Wendy stood there staring at the photos on the floor. Her brain was swishing around, trying to figure out whom to believe, what to say, what to do.
“Why did it take so long to figure this out?” she finally asked.
“We never thought of cross-referencing it with an event like this until Clemens left one of these pictures on my desk, which happened to be next to the picture you left me,” said the other officer.
“Well,” Wendy started, “I think I… need to go lie down, or something…” She walked out of the cubicle. “Thanks,” she barely said as she left.
When she arrived back home, after a long, long walk, she was pretty sure she knew what to do. Even though they had been close, she can’t live with someone who would work in a narcotics spreading career. She knew she had to shut him out of her life, no matter how she still felt about him. The evidence was very condemning, and that would explain the sudden disappearance. Leaving in such a rush that he didn’t even find someone to take care of his cat. That’s not the kind of person she wants to spend her time, or life with. She would just have to scratch it up as another bad move, and carry on. She just hoped that nothing came down on her from being involved with him.
**********
Jeremy put his wallet back in his pocket. He had been looking at Wendy’s picture for the most part of today. He studied every curve, every little detail of her face, her dark red hair, her shoulders, her breasts, her arms, everything. But now he had more important things to take care of. He heard his trap set about five seconds ago. As he rounded a boulder he saw his query struggling to free itself, but it had no clue how to do it. Jeremy was feeling very clever as he ran towards his captive, brandishing a thick, crudely made club. He had no other way of sedating the creature, and really didn’t want to hurt it, but the result would yield a very rewarding treat. In his momentum he swung the club down, striking the monkey squarely on the forehead, knocking it out.
Now to remove his prize; his blue flannel, tattered, torn, and smelly, from the primate’s body. He’s been trying to get it from animal ever since he saw it on its body. The monkey probably grabbed it from the tree branches after it fell to earth when Jeremy lost it from his fall from a cargo plane about a month ago. After numerous attempts to catch it barehanded, he recalled a simple trap he saw used on PBS. He formed a hole small enough for the monkey’s hand to fit in, but too small for it to pull its fist out. When he knew he had its attention, he played with his lighter, then stashed it in the hole, seeming as if he was trying to hide it. The monkey, having a natural abundance curiosity, jumped from the branches, and put his hand in to grasp the lighter, but was unable to pull its full fist out, and too stupid to let go. When he heard its screaming he knew he had to be fast before it realized what to do.
Jeremy walked over to the bank of the river he’s been living by since day five of being in the jungle, and started washing his flannel profusely. He was able to get the worst, smelliest stains out, but it still matched his other clothes in that they were soiled and smelly regardless. He then made his way to his makeshift shelter; just a bunch of logs and leaves arranged to keep out the elements. It was an ideal place to live. Water, wildlife to eat, no problems. There was this one plant that he rather liked. There weren’t very many of them, but they were very tasty. He’d never seen one like it before, but he found it to be edible. Not just its purple banana and apple like fruits were either, but the whole fern-like plant, and as the greener parts were devoured in the last week, Jeremy decided to try the roots. He boiled them briefly to sanitize them, and he found that they too were delicious. But now there were no more. Just regular bananas, bugs, small mammals, whatever else was available.
He couldn’t believe how good he felt though in these living conditions. He could hardly tell where his fracture in his arm was, which ribs were cracked, or any scars were. In fact, he felt so good, especially now that he managed to recover his flannel, that he felt it was time to make his way northward, back to the USA, and more importantly, back to Wendy.
**********
“But bossman, I swear I couldn’t find him anywhere,” pleaded a criminal to his master. It was the same hoodlum who had Jeremy thrown off of the plane a month ago, telling his boss there was an unfortunate accident. Unfortunate for him, he was snitched on by another thug, eager to take his place.
“I don’t care! He’s alive, and because you attempted to kill him after my threat, he’ll have no problem reporting me to the police!” Roger snatched his cane from his seat, and smacked his subordinate with it. “Now, if you come back empty-handed again, I’ll throw you off a plane! GO!”
The thug scurried out of the room quickly, followed by two other guys. They exited the mansion rising in the middle of a clearing in the jungle, sitting next to a wide river. The three of them hopped into an ATV and sped off into the dense foliage, hoping to bring back what their boss wanted.
**********
“Egads,” Jeremy exclaimed as he trekked through the underbrush, “this is going to take forever! Hope I come across a small village with connections to civilization soon.” He kept up his pace. “Weird though, how I really don’t feel as exhausted as I think I should be.” He has been walking all day, with evening drawing near, with no idea how far he’s walked, how far the US is, how far the next source of fresh water is, how far anything is. Good thing he knew a few things about survival in these situations.
After a while, he realized there was a familiar noise in the distance. He stopped, and listened in the direction of the noise. He could swear it was a vehicle of some sort. Hope giving him a boost, Jeremy was soon dashing in that direction, hoping to get the attention of the driver. Running, jumping over decaying logs, dodging low branches, he drew nearer and nearer to the source, as the sound increased in loudness. Soon he saw the glow of headlights, and it was coming in his direction! He leapt to the side, not wanting to get hit, as the ATV passed him, crunching the flora and fauna beneath its big tires as it broke to a stop. Then voices came through.
“What was that?”
“I think we found something worth our while.”
“I know I saw something duck away.”
“Get out there and go see, moron!”
“Where’s my gun?”
After realizing that it was a jeep full of game hunters, Jeremy walked over, waving his flannel in surrender so they won’t confuse him with their prey, and yelling, “Hey!! Guys! Over here! I could use a lift, if you don’t mind!”
Two shadows in the sinking sun jumped off the vehicle, heading towards Jeremy.
“Hey! It’s a lost tourist!” one called back to the jeep. Then Jeremy was blinded by a flashlight pointed right in his face as the men came closer.
“No it’s not,” another called excitedly, “it’s that boy we’re s’posed find!! We are home free!”
Still blinded, Jeremy felt a body slam into his gut, bringing him down to the soft ground, with a not so soft body on top of him. When his vision finally cleared, he saw a menacing grin staring at him behind the barrel of a handgun.
“Tie him up, good and tight!” he demanded the other two with him. Arms and ropes were all over Jeremy, who was too surprised by the sudden revelation of what just happened. He had walked right into the arms of his previous captors. Now he was again doomed to live, maybe, in the jungle.
“Roger gives his love,” the leader of the three said sarcastically as they hauled him into the jeep. “I wonder what he will do to you when we give ya to him?”
One guy stayed in back with Jeremy, arm around his throat in case he tried to escape. “One false move, and crack goes your throat!” he warned Jeremy as they sped off into the jungle evening.
**********
“Hey kid, how you been doing?” the pudgy, balding man asked from one side of the dock in the early morning light. “You look like you’ve been living rather well, for being lost in the jungle for a month. A little soiled and stained, but healthy enough.”
Jeremy looked at Roger, and said, “Well, you know, survival of the fittest and all that.” He realized that no matter what he did at this point, he wasn’t going to leave the dock alive, so he figured he’d make the best of a situation.
The two guys on either side of Jeremy tightened their grip on his arms.
“So, you’re a survivor, huh? Well, I’m a survivor too. I survive by making sure there’s no one around to out-survive me, such as competitors, police, and even snitches.” He walked closer as he was talking. “Now, can you guess which one you are?”
“Hey now big guy,” Jeremy stammered, “Are you implying that I would turn you over to the auth-“
“You know damned well you would’ve gone to the police if you ever made it back!” Roger spat at him. “You’d have to explain why you’ve been missing for so long, and I’d come up in the story! You know that!”
“Well, I’m a creative guy, I might’ve saved your neck with a lie, but after pushing me out of the plane,… well… I hate heights with a passion, and I didn’t like my first flying lesson to much.”
Roger punched him in the jaw, which to Jeremy’s surprise didn’t hurt as much as he remembered. He figured this natural living toughened him up a bit. Roger shook the stinging sensation out of his hand.
“You know, you could have lived a nice, untouched life in my company if you’d have been more cooperative, but no. One mistake and you turn on me.” The two thugs released Jeremy’s arms and backed away from him. “Well, you’ll learn that nobody,” Roger reached into his vest pocket, “nobody,” and pulled out a handgun, “lives long enough to do anything to take any actions against me.
This is it, I’m dead, soooo dead! Jeremy thought, clenching his eyes shut in preparation for- BLAM!!! His body fell back, blood flowing from his forehead as it splashed into the river below. His limp body resurfaced, and began its journey down the river to the ocean, where his corpse would become one with the ecosystem, starting the circle of life all over again.
What? You were expecting a happy ending? Come on, he would never have made it back home, he was destined to die here in the rain forest. Well, go ahead to the next chapter to find out what becomes of his girlfriend Wendy, his cat Gunther, and his ex-employer, Roger.

Chapter 4

Wendy was standing in front of her bathroom mirror, tilting her head this way and that, looking intently at a spot in her reflection. She finally gave in and accepted the fact that she had indeed grown a zit, right by her nose. She didn’t need this, not now. Tonight was a special night; a very good friend of hers was returning to town. Gunther, her adopted cat, could sense her excitement and walked all around her, looking up and wanting a part of whatever was causing his new owner’s happiness. Wendy applied a little medicinal lotion to her blemish, and covered it with a bit of makeup. It’ll have to do she thought as she started attaching her earrings to her lobes. After that she was completely as ready as she could be.
She was very happy, and apprehensive, to see this person after so long of not hearing from him. She didn’t even know if he was still alive or not, until he called, telling her he’d be in town tonight. Also, with all that happened in the past month or so, she could use a familiar face. She always had a crush on her date tonight, but he never knew it until she told him. And to be able to see him after such a long time gave her goosebumps just to think about it.
Ding-dong!
She almost tripped on her own dress in her excitement to open the door at the sound of the bell. Instead she tripped over poor Gunther, who still insisted on being underfoot. She quickly got back up, hoping it didn’t mess up her hair, or her appearance in any way. She wanted to look her best for her man.
Wendy made it to the door with no further accidents, and opened it to see a man in tattered and stained clothing. Jeans full of rips and tears, shirt in the same condition, but the worst article was the blue (she thought it was blue, hard to see under all the stains and rips) flannel. His face wasn’t any better either, with long, filthy, green hair going in all directions, complimented by a thick growth of green facial hair. Adding to that the combined smell of body odor, clothing that has been worn for over a month, and numerous other inhuman fumes, Wendy was more than just taken by surprise. She screamed, she took a step back, she again tripped over Gunther, fainting before she hit the floor.
**********
Wendy awoke with a start, sitting up suddenly. Just as quickly she lied back down from the throbbing pain coming from the back of her head. She felt it with her hand, making sure it wasn’t severe. Nothing serious, just a big bump. She looked about, finding she was on her couch, in her own living room, safe, unhurt (aside from her head). Whoever that was seemed to have left—then she heard it. Her shower was running. She got up, slowly this time, and looked in the direction of her bathroom. The door was closed. She then realized her washing machine was running too. Right now though finding out who was in her shower was her priority.
She made it to her feet and walked cautiously to her bathroom, cracking open the door. Just then the shower turned off, dripping the last of the water out of the nozzle. She accidentally slammed the door loudly as she jerked away from the doorway. She froze, listening to the whoever was using her facilities, hoping she didn’t bring attention to herself. Ever so slowly, and carefully, she crept away from her bathroom door, closing in on her phone. Gunther looked curiously at her, but stayed out of the way. She reached the phone, and quietly picked up the receiver.
“Wendy?”
She froze again.
“Wendy, I know you’re conscious sweety. I hope you’re okay.”
She knew that voice. It was so very familiar, yet she hasn’t heard it since…
“I hope you don’t mind me using your shower. As you noticed, I wasn’t looking my best, heh heh.”
“J-J-Jeremy?” she spoke weakly. She placed the receiver back in its cradle, and walked back to her bathroom.
“Come on in, Wendy! I want to see you conscious and not screaming and fainting,” the voice laughed. “Oh yeah, and I’m sorry but I’m using one of your leg razors.”
She opened the door slowly. In front of her sink, with a towel wrapped around his waist, shaving cream on his face, razor in hand, was Jeremy.
She blinked.
She blinked again.
Still not satisfied with what she saw she rubbed her eyes vigorously, then opened them again.
“Don’t do that Wendy, it makes your eyes really red,” Jeremy said, looking in her direction. He looked back at the mirror, made a few more passes on his face with the razor, and announced, “There!! I always did look better with a goatee.” He put the razor down, turned to Wendy again, and approached her. “What do you think?”
Wendy, not wanting to back away in case the cat, or something else, would cause another fall, just stood there, tensing up as Jeremy came closer, putting his arms around her waist, and moving in to kiss her tenderly. She swung, and with a sound smack she connected her palm with his cheek, derailing his course and breaking his arms away from her.
“Whoa,” he said, backing up a step, “I was hoping I’d get a warmer reception than that. What’d I do?”
“Damn you, Jeremy!” She hissed coldly, regaining full control of herself.
“Huh?”
She turned around sharply, storming into the living room, saying, “How could you do that to me?”
“We’ve kissed before,” he said, putting his wet hair in a tail.
“That’s not what I meant!” She turned sharply again, staring very, very coldly at Jeremy. “I mean how could you work with such lowlifes? How could you transport… crack?! You know I’m against all that $#!^, and I thought you were too!” She was on a rampage, waving her hands, stalking Jeremy step by step. The wrath of a redhead isn’t pretty. “But no! You go and traffic that junk behind my back! All these gifts you’ve bought me, with crack money! Disappearing without a word, without even making sure your cat got food!! It’s a good thing you gave me a copy of your key, or Gunther would be dead, no thanks to you! If you come back to pick up where you left off, you are dead wrong, you bastard pig!”
She was nose to nose to Jeremy, who was leaning back, avoiding making her angrier.
“N-n-no, Wendy… it’s not like that at all…” he croaked.
“Oh no?! So the police would lie to me, is that what you’re saying? That you never made deliveries, never worked at that warehouse, never accepted cash pay every week for the transportation of crack?!”
“Wendy, I-I swear I didn’t know it was—“
“Bull$#!^, Jeremy, total and complete bull$#!^! I’ve heard it before. I thought you were different from the scum who normally roam the street, the scum whom I’ve dated before.”
“I am…”
“No you’re not!”
Her doorbell rang again.
“Oh great,” Wendy said, “that’s probably Keith at the door now!”
“Keith?”
“None of your damned business, asshole!” she shot to Jeremy. “You just get out of here!”
“But my clothes ar-“
“I don’t care!”
“And my keys are gone.”
She threw her keychain at Jeremy, which smacked him in the face. That smarted. “Take your key and leave!”
He found his key and took it off the ring. He dropped the other keys to the floor, and walked to her door as she opened it.
“Are you okay?” the man on the other side asked concernedly as he entered Wendy’s apartment. “Who is that guy? Did he hurt you?”
“No,” she said as Jeremy passed between them, and out into the hall with nothing but a towel and a key. “That’s no one.” She brightened up. “It’s been so long since I saw you last, Keith! How have you been…”
Jeremy filtered their voices out as he sulked his way to the elevator.
**********
Great, Jeremy thought as he walked down the cold street in Wendy’s towel. I go through all that $#!^ in the jungle, with Wendy as my sole bright spot, my first priority for when I return, and this is how it ends? He recounted the last few days, every detail, for the umpteenth time in his head.
A bit over a month ago he was hired by a stranger to make deliveries full of Miracle Pancake Powder, which he discovered to actually be smuggled crack. He was pretty much kidnapped by the guys who were behind it all and thrown off a plane over South America, leaving him to live the life of an animal for a month. That’s not the weird part; not the part he really was thrown off by. It was when he was recaptured a few days ago, and shot in the head. He swears he was shot in the head the morning after his capture. How he ended up on the beach was beyond him.
He woke up, sun shining on his wet face, waves crashing into his left side. Jeremy was on his back, and on a beach it seemed. He could feel the sand underneath his head and hands. Then he sat up in a flash. And screamed.
He looked around. It was really bright out, with a wide ocean to his left, and a lush jungle to his right. He felt his forehead, where he knew he was shot. There was nothing there, no hole, no blood, nothing to indicate a bullet penetrated his skull. Then he figured out why.
He was dead.
A shot like that, of course he’s dead. No way to live through that.
“So this is the afterlife,” he thought out loud. “Pretty.” He stood up and took in the view, squinting at the ocean, which reflected a lot of sunlight. After a while of staring at the water, he noticed a shadow moving across it. Something connected in his brain.
“Purgatory!” he exclaimed. “This must be the River Styx, and that’s the Purgatory ferry dude coming to pick up the newlydead.” He looked around again. “Slow day for the dead it looks like.” Another thought crossed his mind. “Nuts! Don’t I need money to get across? There was no one to place a quarter or something in my mouth when I died so I’d have a way to pay this guy!”
The boat was very close now, just about to land in the shallow waters here. Jeremy ran into the ocean to the boat. It looked a hell of a lot like a fishing ship, and not some feeble Purgatory crossing wood raft that he’d expected. All well.
“Ahoy there kid!” the boat’s driver called. “Do you need something?”
“Oh keeper of the River Styx, I beseech you to take me aboard, even though I have nothing to pay you with! It wasn’t my fault; I was killed in cold blood! Please let me cross the poisonous, flesh consuming river!” Jeremy pleaded of the captain.
The old man just laughed at Jeremy.
“Do you find torturing the newlydead amusing?” Jeremy asked irritably.
“Newlydead? That’s a new one to me kid. Besides, if the ‘river’ was so flesh consuming and poisonous, it looks like you’re doing pretty well being waist-deep in it.” the old man leaned over the bow, telling Jeremy.
He looked down in the water, realizing his flesh was indeed intact, and he felt all right. He stood there a minute, trying to assimilate this new info. After a few minutes he looked back up at the old man. “Sooooooooo, I’m not dead?” he asked.
“Doesn’t look like it to me, kid,” he answered.
“And… this isn’t,… and you’re not… oh. Umm,…”
“Look, you seem lost, obviously. Tell ya what. I’ll take you to a city where you can find a way back wherever you came from, okay?”
I’m not dead… but how…? Jeremy thought. Then he looked back up at the smiling face in the ship. “Okay, suppose there isn’t much choice at this point. I appreciate it.”
The old man let down a ladder, and Jeremy climbed up onto the deck. They took off heading north, exactly where Jeremy wanted to go. He placed his hands on the side rails of the boat and leaned on it, looking over the ocean, trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Was this some dream he was unable to wake from? Has he been dead since the S.W.A.T. team stormed his former place of employment? WHAT?!
“Name’s Ben. Ben Stohaggen,” the old man said, offering his hand. Jeremy blinked, looked at Ben, and took his hand.
“Jeremy,” he said.
“So, Jeremy, how did you end up here?” Ben asked, trying to make conversation.
“Long story,” Jeremy replied, “One that I’m still trying to figure out completely.”
“Must’ve been here a while to have your hair be so stained green,” Ben pointed out. Jeremy looked at him quizzically. “Oh, you prob’ly don’t have a mirror. Go down below and take a look for yourself, kid.”
Jeremy, curious to see what he meant, rushed to the lower deck, to the bathroom. He peered in the mirror, and like Ben said, it was green all right. So was his month old facial hair. Weird, he thought. Weirder still was the sudden pain, then more sudden darkness Jeremy encountered. Ben dropped his oar, and dragged Jeremy’s body out of the bathroom, to the upper deck, and pushed him over the rail into the ocean. He then sped his boat away from the floating body.
“Big Ben to HQ,” He spoke into a radio. A slightly garbled voice spat out of the speaker.
“Yea****Q here..***hat’s the word, Bi****n?”
“I spotted your garbage on the shore,” Ben said, tuning in the frequency he was talking through, “but it wasn’t completely disposed of properly, so I-“
“WHAT??!!” the other voice rang clear. “I shot him right in the forehe—I mean, I took the proper procedures to dispose of the garbage, sir.”
“Look,” Ben said aggressively, “the green haired freak was on the beach, alive, with no bullet wounds anywhere, so you screwed up, Roger!”
“But I swear I hit him! I saw the blood and everthing…”
“Well don’t worry. I knocked the bugger out and dumped it overboard, so I think we won’t see him anymore, no thanks to you.”
“Yes sir, I’m sorry I messed up.”
“Not as sorry as you think you are. You’ll know how sorry you are when I get back to the house, copy?”
A long pause, then a deep breath.
“Yes… sir, I copy. Over and out.”

Chapter 5

Tuna fish. We all have had it at one time or another, but don't think of the consequences incurred in the process of catching this versatile fish. Let's take the Tubby Tuna Schooner as an example. It's currently sweeping the waters east of Colombia, trying to make its quota for the month. It cruises across the ocean surface, dragging a large net behind it, filling it with many varieties of fish, not just tuna. Let's see what they caught, shall we? As they stop the boat, and crank the net in, there's a lot of movement within the net. Fish of different sizes, colors, and habits. As they unload the net into the cargo compartment they watch for things that don't belong. Things like man-made trash, dolphins, jellyfish, and corpses. Hey, there's a corpse now! It's always fun to watch the expression on their faces when they find one.
Well, now we can find out what happens to found corpses. They very reluctantly hook its clothing and lift it out of the fish. It is then set down and with care searched for I.D. This one has a wallet and driver's license. They then head for shore, with their bountiful fish load and one corpse. The ship docks at its main docking pier and everything is unloaded. The body gets packed up and shipped out to where it belongs, by the information gathered from its license.
So as not to let the corpse decay further, it was sent very first priority shipping to Michigan. It arrived very soon to the Frosty Corner morgue, awaiting its next treatment. Two morticians opened the cold crate in the receiving room.
"Boy, this one is really fresh, aside from all the dirt and such, for what its profile said it went through," the shorter, scrawnier one commented.
"Yeah Pete," the other, rather stout and slightly taller man agreed.
Pete looked down again at the body, turned pale, and started shaking. "Er, Jermaine?" he called feebly.
"What?" Jermaine looked at Pete, but go no reaction. Pete was too intent in looking at the corpse's face. Jermaine looked from his partner to their subject, just as its eyes rolled to meet his, and blinked. "Yaaaagh!!" he yelped.
"Aaaaaaaaargh!!" the corpse yelled back, sitting up sharply. This caused Pete to collapse in a faint right there.
Jermaine on the other hand took evasive action. He picked up the crowbar used to open the crate with and swung it at the now not-so-dead corpse's head. The body lifted its arm to block, taking the blow fully in the lower arm.
"OUCH!!" it yelled, clutching its now injured arm. It didn't wait for its assailant to take another swing. It took its hand from its arm and grabbed the crowbar from Jermaine, who let go out of fear. The body jumped out of the crate, dropped the bar, and ran out the door into the hallway, then out the emergency doors leading to an alleyway, blue flannel whipping about its form as it ran.
Holy gouvna!! Jeremy thought as he ran down the alleyway, again holding his injured arm. This is getting really, very, and truly out of hand!! I know I was shot in the head, I know I was knocked out and thrown into the ocean, I think a shark took a bite out of me, and I wake up in my hometown's morgue?! I can't take much more of this crap!
He appeared out of the alleyway and onto Fairview Parkway. He got his bearings and headed to the one place he knew he would be safe and welcome, where he knew everything would be okay, where he knew he could get a warm shower and warm clothes.
**********
And this is how he arrived at Wendy's apartment. Well, not immediately. After Jeremy realized he lost his keys weeks ago, it dawned on him that he gave his girlfriend Wendy a spare key to his apartment if she needed to get in. That gave him a bit of relief, because he knew that she would take care of Gunther while he was gone for so long.
Of course now Wendy thinks that he was a knowing and willing member of that crack smuggling operation that got him into this whole mess and won't talk to him at all. It was a mighty blow, but hey, it was a great two weeks with her anyway, even if they never did mange to get to home base. At least he had a shower. A quick breeze reminded him that having clothes would be nice too, instead of a measly towel. His cat is also safe and taken care of, but he'll have to reclaim him tomorrow when he wakes up. And he had his apartment key, so he wouldn't have to sleep in a trash can. Hopefully his landlord would be forgiving of one late payment, and hadn't cleared his home while he was missing.
So much to take care of. He was surprised to find that he was already in front of his apartment building. Now for the walk up to the fifth floor. He entered, and found that the elevators were working again, so he used one instead to make his way up. He stumbled out of the moving cube when it reached his floor, and moved towards his apartment clumsily. Man was he worn out from just… everything! He slid the key in its place in the knob, and slowly turned it. It clicked unlocked, and he breathed easily, knowing that if the key still fit, he still had a home.
Jeremy wobbled into his living area, noting it was just the way he left it as the lights flicked on. He grabbed his notepad from the coffee table, and hunted for something to write with. He didn't have to search far, as there was a pencil sitting on his computer desk to the right. He thought intently, trying to put together what would need to get done tomorrow.
First off, pay bills - That would make a lot of people happy, and insure that he wouldn't end up with broken legs or wake up to a horse's head or something.
Second, retrieve Gunther from his ex's place - He missed Wendy a lot, and his want to see her kept his spirits up while living in the jungle. Now the tables have turned, and he knew that at least his cat would still love and respect him, unless Gunther was still pissed about being left suddenly.
Next would be to go to the hospital for a check-up - Who knew what the hell he might've caught while down there? He may feel fine now, but that's no guarantee.
D) Buy groceries - He could smell the spoiled food from here.
Sixthly, … - well, he figured he would use this for whatever he may suddenly think of when he awoke; he was too exhausted to focus on this anymore, and promptly threw the pad back on the coffee table.
He walked into his room, dropped the towel where he stood, and dove onto his bed. He groaned and made such pleasant sounds you'd think he was having sex in there, but all he was doing was getting under the covers and making himself snug and comfy. It's been a long damned time since he slept in a nice, warm, soft bed, and he didn't know if he'd even wake up the next day.
**********
Jeremy managed to wake the next day, at around 4pm. Actually, he was awake at noon, but his bed felt so good he just lied there for a few more hours. He crawled out of bed, opened his drapes and looked outside. It was great! Sunny, warm, just a beautiful day. He couldn't help but think that maybe all the stuff before had been a really long dream, but he knew better than that. There's no way it cou-maybe it was a psychotic episode? Or maybe he did know he was transporting crack and was in a druggy haze for the past month and a half. He shook his head, shaking the thoughts out in the process. How could he think that? Definitely not what happened.
He took a shower, and in doing so found that his hair was still green, no matter how much shampoo and cleaning liquids he used. He supposed he'd have to bleach it next, but wasn't in the mood to do that right now. He ate breakfast, finding out his instant pancake powder was still in good shape. How ironic. Afterwards he gathered all his spoiled food in a big bag, and dumped it in the dumpster behind the apartment building on his way out.
**********
What a day so far. Fortunately his car still wanted to run after such negligence, which made bringing his new food back home all the easier. Between the store and home though, he stopped at Wendy's to receive some more bitching out, when all he wanted was to get Gunther back. He accomplished that task after words, and a few other things, were thrown at him, and dropped cat and food off at his place. Now he was driving towards the hospital, nervous as hell about what might be found out about his health. He knew he'd contracted something out there. Maybe that's why his hair is still green? He bit his lower lip and hoped for the best as he parked in the visitor section.
**********
Jeremy's jaw dropped at the news his physician gave him. He expected the worst, but this was just unbelievable.
"You're sure, Jack? No miscalculations or anything?" he asked his doctor in disbelief.
"Positive, Jeremy. There's nothing wrong with you. In fact, you're at the best level of health I think I've seen you at, and I never thought that was possible. You're normally an exceptionally healthy guy as it is," Nurse Shannon answered while Jack prepared a few things.
Jeremy jumped of the examination table, feeling the cold ground with his bare feet, and decided it was warmer on the table. "But, I'm sure I had some cracked ribs, and my upper left arm, I know it was cracked at least, and the blow I received last night from the crowbar, any sign of it? And what about my hair? It's green! All of it, even my pubi-"
"Well now, we still have to take blood, urine, and semen samples to verify the preliminary diagnosis. I doubt anything will turn up there, but it's best to be sure." Jack turned to Jeremy with two cups in his hands, passing them to Jeremy, who reluctantly took them.
He looked at them skeptically. "Which do I piss in and which do I spank it in?" he asked the nurse with a stupid grin. She smirked and blushed, eyes at the ground.
"Jeremy," Jack said sternly, "I've told you before to stop harassing my nurses."
"Well geez, Doc! I'm in my underwear here, and you've got a beautiful assistant in the same room as me! How do you think I feel? I might as well embarrass her too while I'm at it," Jeremy replied then turned to Shannon. "I'm sorry, I hope I didn't offend you," he said seriously.
"No, I'm used to hearing such things, but I never heard it put like that before," she said.
"Get in the bathroom and do your duty," Jack instructed Jeremy patiently, "You'll find what you need for the other task. When you're done I'll stick a needle in your arm and take some blood."
Ten minutes later Jeremy came out of the bathroom with both containers full of their respective liquids. There was no needle waiting for him as he entered the other room, not even a doctor. There was however a nurse. Shannon was leaning against the table, waiting for Jeremy to return.
"Uhh… where's Jack?" he asked weakly.
"He couldn't wait for you to get back, he had another patient or two to check on. He left me to stick it in you," she said playfully, grabbing a needle and walking towards Jeremy. He didn't know whether to be aroused or scared, so he just stood there, holding his liquids in his fingers. "What's the matter? Not scared of a little needle are we?"
"n-No, no…," he squeaked, clearing his throat. "Where should I put these?" he asked, hoping to divert her.
"Just set them on the counter next to you, J," she coaxed, rubbing his upper arm with an alcohol-soaked cotton swab.
"'J', huh? A little unprofessional, isn't that?" he joked, placing the containers where she told him.
"Well, you were being an uncooperative patient back there," she said, jabbing the needle in his arm.
"Yaagh!!" Jeremy yelped. "Heh, I guess it serves me right…"
"Yes it does, you bad patient," she said, smiling.
"So, er, when does your shift end? Maybe we could see a movie or something?"
"No way!" she yelled.
"Well damn," Jeremy said, feeling hurt. He hurt more when she yanked the needle out of his arm. "Gaah!! Take it easy, it was just a suggestion," but she wasn't listening to him. She just stared at the hypodermic full of Jeremy's blood. Or was it? Upon further inspection he saw that it wasn't a dark red like it should be. It was filled with a thick, dark green plasma. He glanced down at his arm to see more green fluid leaking out of where the needle was.
"Gaah!! For a second time!" he said, grabbing a few swabs and cleaning his arm up. "So, that 'No way!' was about my blood, and not my question, huh?"
Shannon broke her focus from the needle's contents and looked at Jeremy. "Yeah, you're right, but no, I don't think we'll be seeing a movie, or doing anything at all. Sorry." She shrugged and gave him a sympathetic smile. "I'll go get Jack, an-"
"No need, Nurse. I'm back," Jack said as he entered the room. He looked at the two, then saw the needle. "Good lord, what did you do Shannon?"
"I-I-I took his blood, that's all…" she stuttered.
"That's not blood,"
"Yes it is, Doc, take a look," Jeremy said, removing the swab from his arm, letting his blood trickle out a bit. Jack moved in for a closer look, and realized it was true. Jeremy's blood was now a deep, dark green. "I have never ever in my career seen anything like this! Jeremy, I don't know what the cause of this is, but we must find out what's going on."
"Yeah really!" he agreed. "How do you think I feel? It's my blood that's green!"
"Right, then it's settled. You'll have to become an inpatient so we can study this to it's fullest extent," Jack concluded.
"What?! You want me to be your lab rat?"
"Well, I have to keep you nearby so I can run different tests. DNA, CAT scans, the works!"
Jeremy looked at Jack wide-eyed, then to Shannon, who was looking kind of shocked by the whole development. He looked again to Jack, and relaxed a bit.
"I guess, if that's what it's going to take… but, can I take care of a few things first?" he finally said.
"Yes, go ahead and make sure everything you need taken care of for the next few weeks is done, then come back here and we'll see what we need to do."

Chapter 6

The last two weeks have been very strenuous for Jeremy. Needles poked him in almost every place he could think of in that time, as well as fluids taken out, fluids put in, probes for temperature and other things stuck in uncomfortable places, lights flashing, sensors strapped everywhere, just altogether discomfort. But now, now as he looks back on it all, it was worth finding out what was going on with his body.
He’s been living in the rain forests of South America for a month using his survival instincts and what he learned from his dad. He made it home under very unusual circumstances, and he knew he had a good chance of picking something up while there, so he went to see his physician. What caused Dr. Jack Nikkels to perform these series of tests was the fact that his nurse drew dark green blood from Jeremy’s arm. This was definitely not normal, so Jeremy and he decided the best thing to do would be to examine it full scale.
Today, however, the tests were done, the data has all been collected. Today they would review every 1,0, e, x, and q. Today the answer would be found.
Jeremy stood behind Jack, who was at the console of a monstrous computer terminal, kind of like the ones you’d see in movies, or like the Bat-computer. Pie charts, graphs, microscopic images magnified, data, data, and more data being displayed in front of the two humans.
“So,” Jeremy asked suddenly, “what’s the story? Am I going to die? Will it be quick, or slow and painful?”
“Don’t be so morbid, Jeremy,” Jack returned. “The information I’ve been studying suggests that you’re very stable, and are in no risk of dying.”
“But, why is my blood green for dammit’s sake!” Jeremy asked agitatedly.
“I know it sounds strange, but everything points to the same thing. You have a very high amount of chlorophyll in your blood. In fact, it’s pretty much a 50/50 split between blood plasma and chlorophyll.”
Jeremy stared at the screen, trying to figure out what parts told Jack that. “Chlorophyll…,” he thought out loud, “That’s the stuff that plants have inside of them, yeah?”
“Yes. It acts like blood for plants, allowing them to spread nutrients and fluids throughout its stems and leaves. There’s also something else you should know, seeing that it is your body. It’s still mutating, changing your blood and tissue structure.”
“No!! I don’t wanna become a tree!” Jeremy yelled.
“No no no, Jeremy, not like that… It’s actually improving your anatomy. It’s really quite fascinating! It even kick started your appendix,” Jack said, standing up from the console, facing Jeremy. “Your appendix is working! Don’t you see? No one in the past, oh, several hundred thousand or so years has had an actual, functioning appendix! All they seem to want to do is renege and explode, but yours…,”
“Jack, I’d like my hands back please,” Jeremy said. Jack was clutching Jeremy’s hands in sheer excitement from such a discovery. He let go, smiling sheepishly. “So what does this do for me?” Jeremy asked.
“I’ve studied the products of your organ, and it’s fantastic! These new enzymes, antibodies, adrenaline, and other various microorganisms, some which have never been seen before, are all very strong, and have wondrous properties! I’ve made a few theories about which ones do what, and…”
“Halt right there, Jack… Theories? What kind of theories, and how do you propose to prove these theories?” Jeremy asked suspiciously.
“Well, I do have evidence from the tests that suggest certain properties…” Jack stammered.
“Spit it out, Jack!!” Jeremy demanded.
“Ithinkyoucouldhavesomeveryrealandusefulabilities,” Jack spat out.
Jeremy just looked at Jack, eye to eye in complete disbelief. “So, I’ve been playing guinea pig for the past two weeks, and all you have to show for it is that you think I’m a mutant with super powers?” he growled.
“No!” Jack reconsidered. “Well, in a way…”
Jeremy put his hand against his forehead and eyes and leaned against the wall, saying, “Okay, what are these theories you have?”
“I believe you can use photosynthesis just like a plant, and also like a plant can regenerate lost limbs or other body parts,” Jack said confidently.
Jeremy parted two fingers, and looked at Jack through them. “Doc, I can see how we could test the first theory. I’ve been cooped up in this building for a while, so we could just go outside and see what happens.” He walked over to where Jack stood, and grabbed him by the arms. “But how do you expect me to test the second one, huh? I’m not too willing to say bye-bye to a hand if you’re wrong!”
“Er, listen Jeremy,” Jack argued, “just listen and you’ll see what I mean. Remember how you said you could swear you were shot in the forehead, how you felt the bullet penetrate your skull, but found no sign of such an event? Or even something less destructive, like your ribs, upper arm, or the injury you incurred at the morgue? No sign of such injuries can be found, because these newer, stronger bio-organisms being produced by your appendix have healed you so dramatically! It makes perfect sense!”
Jeremy let go of Dr. Nikkels slowly, processing what he said. He did have a point there. How else could he explain the events that happened to him in the jungle? He was still skeptical about how they were going to prove their theory. He looked at Jack, who seemed to know exactly what Jeremy was going to say.
“Here’s my proposition,” he started. “In my research I noticed that when we first started the examinations, there were low levels of the, ‘super cells’ let’s call them. That’s why it took so long to recover from your fall from the parachute through the tree. You came across something really spectacular while in the jungle without knowing that it would cause such tremendous changes in your body’s chemistry. After it began altering your physiology, it began repairing your previous wounds. Even though it was just beginning to integrate itself into your body, it still had an accelerated rate of healing, you see? When you got shot in the head, it still took a long time to heal such messy damage, but it was able to do so, which is extraordinary because as far as modern science knows, brain cells can’t regenerate.
“Now that it’s been in your body so long, these super cells have been increasing in strength, and being able to strengthen your body as well. Take the crowbar blow you took. That should have easily broken your ulna and radius bones, but the super cells have strengthened your bones’ resilience towards injury, and it probably just got bruised really badly, then healed really rapidly. My studies have also shown that these cells are still increasing in strength, and aren’t complete in adhering to your biological makeup!
“This brings me to the process of testing these findings. What we will do is cut a very small amount of flesh off of the tip of a finger or something, a piece that’ll grow back normally in time anyway, and observe if it regenerates quicker than normal. If it does, then we’ll try something bigger, if you’re willing to carry on. Then we go outside to see if sunlight helps out in any way. How does that sound?”
Jeremy soaked it all in, concentrating on every word the physician spoke. It sounded feasible. It sounded like it was worth the risk. So he agreed and shook hands with the ecstatic man.
They walked out the hall, and two doors down, entering an unoccupied room.
“By the way,” Jack told Jeremy as he closed the door “no one other than us two and Nurse Shannon, have any idea what we’ve been doing. I’ve convinced the other staff that I found a mutated form of tsetse fever in your body, so they’ll avoid us like the plague. Get it?” Jack said, laughing a little too hard at the pun.
Jack produced a scalpel from a nearby drawer, and a bottle of novocaine from a cupboard. He applied a little bit of novocaine to the end of Jeremy’s pinky finger, so he won’t feel any pain as Jack sliced the tip just past his fingernail off. As expected it bled a little bit of Jeremy’s green blood, then quickly clogged up to stop the bleeding. That was normal. What happened next wasn’t. They watched as the blood clot formed slowly into tissues, then flesh grew over the tissue, recapping his pinky finger.
“Well son of a bitch!” Jeremy exclaimed, staring at his pinky. Then an idea hit him. “Okay Doc, I’m not quite ready to lose a whole finger, but what if we made an incision somewhere, so if that was just a fluke, and I can’t really heal like that, you could just stitch me up real quick?”
“Yes, that would be a safer alternative I believe,” Jack agreed. He applied the novocaine over Jeremy’s arm, in an area that won’t do much damage when cut. He then, very carefully, ran his scalpel into the flesh, making an incision about .5mm deep, and 1inch long. Out oozed Jeremy’s discolored blood, clotting very rapidly. Right in front of their eyes the cut faded until no trace could be detected of it ever being there.
“This, this is amazing, Doc!” Jeremy yelled, practically going hysterical. “I mean, you know what this means? I’m… I’m… I’m invincible!!”
“Now, now, Jeremy, easy does it,” Jack said, calming him down. “We don’t want to assume that. Who knows how much your body can take? I mean, what if you were decapitated?”
Jeremy stopped suddenly, rolling his eyes over to Jack’s. “That’s a good question…” he mumbled. “I don’t think we’ll be doing testing like that.”
“Right. Why don’t we go outside and see what effects the sun has on you?” Jack suggested.
**********
It was a very prosperous day for the two men as they walked inside the back doors of the hospital. Not only does one of them, Jeremy, now have the ability to heal rapidly, but, as they just found out this afternoon, he can use the sun as an energy source to produce photosynthesis. That in turn increases his ability to heal, and increases his strength dramatically.
Jeremy could feel the effects of the sun almost immediately upon stepping outside. He’s been cooped up in a room for two weeks, and now in the sunlight he became a lot more energetic as a result of the direct sunlight feed. He started with small things, like the mailbox on the corner, and progressed to heavier objects, such as the full dumpster behind the hospital. He had no problems at all lifting any of the items they thought of. They decided not to push it so far as lifting cars, so they retreated back into the lab.
Jeremy leaned against a counter covered with various medicinal utensils. “This is just too unbelievable!” he said with excitement. “I mean, I thought I’d be stuck with some kind of incurable illness, but… Wow! I’m pretty much unstoppable, aren’t I?”
“As far as we can tell, yes Jeremy. It’s such an unprecedented event!” Jack stopped before he too became overwhelmed with excitement. “You have to remember though. We don’t know everything about your mutation yet. You could be like this for weeks, years even, and then you could drastically mutate further. For the better or worse, who can say. It is in no way finished changing your biological makeup, Jeremy, so you should be very careful about what you do.”
“I understand it all, Doc,” Jeremy said impatiently, “So does this mean I’m free to get back to my normal (relatively speaking of course) life?”
“Well,…,” Jack hesitated, “there’s nothing that can bind you to have to stay any longer. You never had to stay these past two weeks in the first place, so I can’t force you to stay now.”
“Good. I’ll just pack my few things here and…”
“Oh yes, there is one downside to this whole thing,” Jack interrupted.
“Ah $#!^!!!” Jeremy swore, clenching his fists. “There always is a downside, isn’t there? So what is it? Will I be really weak at night? Do I need to eat plant food?”
“No, nothing like that, Jeremy. Just a simple little fact that you should know.” Jack paused to build up a sense of drama.
“Well?!” Jeremy spat.
“Sorry, couldn’t resist a dramatic pause.”
“Tell me dammit!”
“You’re sterile,” Jack said simply.
Jeremy’s eyes widened as he stared at Jack. He stayed that way for a few seconds, then lost his holding on the counter, causing him to fall on his side.
“S-sterile?!” he sputtered as he climbed back on his feet. “That’s impossible! I can’t be sterile! How could I have given you that sperm sample weeks ago? This completely sucks ass! I’ll never be able to…”
“Jeremy, please calm down! Many men are steri—“
“Yeah?! Well I can’t be! I’m in my prime! I still have 80 or so years of service before it should even think of not ‘rising to the occasion’ so to speak!”
“Whoa there, Jeremy,” Jack said, putting up his hand to stop Jeremy. “You misunderstood. You’re sterile, as in you will be shooting blanks, unable to impregnate a female. You’re not impotent, as in unable to attain an erection.”
Jeremy looked blankly at Jack for a minute. “So,” he began, “I’m sterile, not impotent,” he repeated. He recomposed himself and said, “Yeah, that’s no biggie. One less thing to worry about in life, eh Doc?”
“Er, yeah,” Jack said noncommittally.
“Thanks tons, Doc! It might’ve taken me a looooong time before I realized what I possessed.”
“You’re welcome, Jeremy. It was a pleasure studying such a remarkable transformation.”
Jeremy patted the physician on the back and walked out the door. As he exited the building, he squinted up at the sun, thinking that this could be the start of a whole new life for him. He thought he was doomed with some terminal illness, but now it’s the reverse; he is incredibly healthy, and even has a strengthened antibody and healing system. What else could happen to him? I guess he’ll have to wait, live, and learn.
Actually there’s not that long of a wait. A short Epilogue will follow soon, revealing how Jeremy copes with it and dons the name Rydgen! Tune in kiddies!

Epilogue

Jeremy sat on his couch, stroking Gunther’s back and watching TV. The events of the past two months were finally settling in his mind, finding each its own hole to fit in.
A guy so eager to fill a delivery position that he was offering a grand a week in cash. That should’ve been a dead giveaway that there was something not right about it. His instincts warned him, but he shrugged it off as paranoia. Two weeks after his employment he found out he was unwittingly smuggling crack in instant pancake boxes. His first clue was when the warehouse he worked at was busted by the police or S.W.A.T. team or something like that. He got stuck in his own delivery van when his employer and a lackey used it to escape, taking him with them to the airport. They flew down to South America to hide out, but everyone else didn’t want Jeremy in any condition to squeal to the authorities, and promptly kicked his ass off the plane. Fortunately he had the foresight to keep a chute on hand in case the plane died, so he didn’t fall to his death, he just feel through a tall tree trying to untangle himself from the chute after it was caught in the branches.
During the month or so of living in the jungle using what his dad taught him about survival skills, he came across something that mutated his biochemical makeup to include chlorophyll and jump start his appendix. He didn’t know this until he came back home and went for a check up at the hospital. That would explain when he was recaptured by his ex-employer’s goons and brought back to their mansion hideout, he survived being shot in the head and dumped in the river. He awoke on a beach (apparently it’s where the river drained out to) and was picked up by a fisherman. Why that old man knocked him out and dumped him over still nags at Jeremy’s mind, but is unimportant right now to him. He was dredged up by a tuna fishing boat and shipped back to his hometown’s morgue in a freezing crate, awakening as the lid was pried off.
He escaped the place with a crowbar blow to his lower arm, which should’ve created more damage than it did. He found out his girlfriend had received word from the police that he was in the crack operation, which she thought he was a willing member. This brought the end of their two week relationship. He went to see his physician the next day to find out what nasty diseases he contracted while in the jungle, when they found out that his blood had changed to a dark green! In order to figure out why that had happened he allowed his doctor to commit him to a room for two weeks, performing many tests to explain what was up.
“So this is it, Gunther,” Jeremy said softly to his cat, whom was content just lying next to his leg on the couch, “I’m a freak. Well, more so than usual. I’m a mutant now. A metahuman. A brand new breed.” Gunther looked up through barely open eyes at his roommate, wishing the human would focus more on scratching his back. “So… now what do I do?” His face stretched into a grin. “I could become a superhero or something. Or even a villian! Nah… I’ll just be same old me.”
Jeremy looked down at Gunther, who had now stretched out, leaning against his leg for support. Jeremy leaned back, sprawling out on the rest of his couch, falling asleep. In that fragile state between being awake and sleeping soundly Jeremy’s mind wandered off into a strange direction. Thoughts of warriors and wars being fought danced through his head, bloody battles with many deaths. Some professionals would say it’s the Id, the part of the mind that produces the most primal of reactions, trying to express itself, relieving itself of the stresses of being suppressed that causes these visions. Another thing stuck out in his state of subconscious, the name Rydgen. It just popped in there, and stuck. It’s a name he recognized instantly. He should. He made it up years ago, and used it for things like video game high scores and character names, nickname when cruising the big WWW, and the like. But now as it sprang in these scenes of battles and fighting, it took on a new meaning for some reason. He got the feeling it meant more to him than just a nickname; it was almost a calling. He had no idea what yet exactly, but he figured he’d find out sometime soon.
As he woke up from this nap, he knew what he had to do. He had to take a really major piss. Afterwards he thought that maybe going by Rydgen instead of Jeremy would be a nice change. New body, new name; why not? So he left his apartment to go about changing everything he could think of to fit this new idea. Acting on an impulse isn’t anything new to Jeremy. That’s why he has three earrings in his left ear, why he became a polka fan, and why he gets kicked out of the mall umpteen times a year.
By the end of the day, he had legally changed his first name to Rydgen, had his driver’s license changed with his new name, ordered new checks with his new name, and had everything changed to reflect the fact that his name was now Rydgen David Stezlinski. He was tempted to change his last name too, but that would be unnecessary, not to mention disrespectful.
Rydgen walked into his fifth floor apartment with a great sense of accomplishment as the sun set into a fire red horizon. He sat down and smiled, feeling a weird sense of peace. That didn’t last long, for he realized there was one thing he still had to do tomorrow. He had to find a job since he is now unemployed. That’ll wait until tomorrow though. He still had some money left from his previous job, so he wasn’t completely broke.

I hope you have found this miniseries to be entertaining and able to keep your interest. Now that we have the star of the comic introduced, and we have a basic feel for the character, I hope you look for future issues of ‘Rydgen’. He reluctantly takes on the life of a hero of sorts, using his abilities to defend the defenseless, save the world from a superintelligent mushroom, and maybe run for President of the USA… well, the first two definitely. Thanks for reading ‘The Unstoppable Adventures of Rydgen’!! :-)

Rydgen