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It's been a really long time since I've done one of these. However, despite my rather busy website updating, 48 hour a week pulling, not working on Taming of the Shrew schedule I've decided it's time to pull out a deconstruction.
In case you've forgotten my format for deconstructions (and I assure you I have. It's a good thing I have the posts saved) I'll recap. Characters abbreviations will appear before each section. My comments will be in "<>" and actions will be enclosed in brackets "[]" The dialogue is in bold font while the character names appear in blue. That's about it. Now on to the "show."
Detour: Into the Woods
Leon County
<Allegedly> North Florida
<Not having ever been to North Florida or any part of Florida for that matter I can't say whether or not there are forests, woods, whatever that look like the one in this episode. I'm inclined to think not.>
Two surveyors (Sloan and Marty) are walking through what is purported to be a North Floridian forest with their gear in tow. Sloan seems to be less than thrilled with his current situation.
Sloan: All right, let's shoot this, Marty.
Marty: Hold it still. Hold it still, Sloan.
Sloan: [fighting off bugs] I'd like to see you hold it still. <Sloan seems to be in need of some kind of bug repellent. Apparently his personality isn't repellant enough.> The sooner they pave over this swamp, the better.
Marty: It's not a swamp. You're standing in a forest with indigenous plant and animal species you're obviously too ignorant to appreciate. <If this were a swamp you'd have a better chance of convincing us that you're in Florida.> Mark it and give me another position.
Sloan: All right, let's shoot this next one real carefully, Marty, 'cause this is where they're gonna put the Blockbuster. <God forbid the Blockbuster should lean over to one side. Oh wait, it already does. It leans to the right.>
Marty: You're a real moron, Sloan, you know that? <I find that most morons are truly ignorant to the level of their moronicness. I don't care if it's not a word it is now.>
Sloan, the real moron (RM): Tree hugger.
Marty the tree hugger (TH): You should be sad to see the demise of an ecosystem that's lasted a thousand years. We all should be. Give me four feet to your left.
RM: I can't.
TH: What do you mean you can't?
RM: I mean I can't because it's stuck.
TH: Then unstick it. <Gee, now while RM may be a real moron I think he can manage to think up that solution on his own.>
RM touches ground where his survey pole is stuck. He looks at his fingers which are now covered in blood.
RM: This is weird. <This is an understatement. I should think this is weird. I shudder to think that finding blood when one cleans off one's survey pole is normal.>
RM sees two glowing red eyes open in ground. He begins to scream.
TH: Sloan! Sloan!
RM has disappeared from the viewfinder. There is movement in bushes coming toward TH. He starts to run blindly into the forest. <Now I'm no nature chick but isn't this a good way to get oneself lost?> TH hides behind a log. He looks behinds him. Upon seeing nothing he relaxes. Red eyes open in log which also apparently feels differently from an actual log because TH starts to feel the face up. He screams and disappears behind the log.
Weird? Having blood coming out of the ground after you stuck a stick in it is not weird. Having one's genitals pierced is weird. That blood thing is downright bizarre!
Now you see, this is why camping is BAD!
It's hard to feel sorry for the surveyors. I mean really, cutting down all those trees for a Blockbuster? With their right-winged anti-first amendment stance when it comes to stocking their shelves and their over priced rental fees it's just as well that the way to another one of these abominations doesn't go smoothly. Okay, so we don't know for sure that it's the deforestation is to make way for a Blockbuster. It could be that RM was talking out of his ass. However, since his comment opened the door for a gratuitous snipe at Blockbuster I'm letting it stand.
Question: Now the mothmen are actual men are they not? They just have the ability to disguise themselves not unlike a moth. They still feel like a human don't they? Because I find it hard to believe that RM managed to stab one in the shoulder without noticing that he was stepping on something other than dirt.
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