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[Archivist's note: This section was originally a rant. If you're interested in the rant you can click here to read it.]
On to the "show":
The X-Files: Fight The Future: Enter Old Smokey
Abbreviations to date:
Caveman 1: CM1
Caveman 2: CM2
Boy 1: B1
Stevie (a.k.a. Boy 2): ST
Boy 3: B3
Boy 4: B4
Captain Miles Cooles: CMC
Men in Biohazard suits: MIB
Dude with Tie (Bronschweig): DWT
Deputy Type Guy: DTG
Skinner: Sk
Generic Agent Type 1: GAT1
The Big Cheese (AKA S.A.C. Michaud): TBC
Scully: S
Mulder: M
Rent-a-cop 1: RAC1
Generic Agent Type 2: GAT2
Nameless Agent: NA
Nameless Agent 2: NA2
Irritating, annoying, wench: IAW
Bartender: Bar
Mystery Woman: MW
Kurtzweil the old man: OM
Number of times Scully has called Mulder by his last name:
21
Number of times Mulder has called Scully by her last name:
7
Two helicopters fly to a spot somewhere in North Texas. One would hope for their sake that there were no houses in the area because helicopters with searchlights flying around in the middle of the night is not exactly discreet. Except we already know this to be false. <I suppose they couldn't just force all the people out of their homes on the other hand I can't imagine that they had philosophical reasons against it since they were willing to bomb an entire building filled with people to hide the bodies of four dead people.> The helicopters land and a couple of men exit. The one closest to the camera moves from the helicopter and puts a cigarette in his mouth then searches for his lighter. (Gee I wonder who that could be?) He finds his lighter <Darn. Just once I'd like to see him lose his lighter.> and lights his cancer stick. Over his shoulder you can see that this base of operations was rather hastily put up. The buildings appear to be tents, the fabric of which lets out light so any ying yang with binoculars could find the place at night. <Which by the way is dumb because they aren't that far away from the houses where the boys who found this hole came from.> You can see one of the unmarked oil trucks too. The camera turns to the newcomer and you can see it's the Cancerman (CSM) <Like there was ever any doubt. At least he has a shirt on this time. Naked CSM chest. Eww! (shudder)>
Inside one of the tents several computers are running and people are messing with what appears to be scientific equipment. There's a huge hole in the ground complete with a ladder. An MIB exits the hole. But this isn't just ANY MIB it's Bronschweig (DWT) CSM enters the area and DWT practically trips on his biohazard suit to meet up with CSM. You can see black oil oozing in a tube over CSM's head. <Yuck> Unfortunately it doesn't break and leak onto CSM's head.
CSM: You've got something to show me?
CSM apparently suited up and joined DWT in the hole sans cigarette. Further down the hole there's a glassed in area manned by another MIB. <That's one bleepin' huge hole. And considering how incompetent the Consortium is they sure got all this stuff together in a super hurry.>
DWT: We brought the atmosphere back down to freezing in order to control its development, which is like nothing we've ever seen.
CSM: Brought on by what?
DWT: Heat I think. <Well that's a scientific answer.> [He moves toward the glass enclosure.] The coincidental invasion of a host, the fireman and an environment which raised his body temperature above 98.6.
DWT pulls back a curtain. On a table lies what used to be a man. He's covered in slime and you can see right through him. He obviously has seen better days.
CSM: This man's still alive.
DWT: Technically. I mean biologically but he'll never recover. <You can just hear the concern in his voice.>
The camera pans over the man's remains. You can see something moving inside the man's stomach.
CSM: How can this be?
DWT: The developing organism is using his life energy, digesting bone and tissue. We've just slowed the process. [CSM gets this look on his face like "what have I gotten myself into to." It passes quickly.] Do you want us to destroy this one too before it gestates?
CSM: Uh no. No. We need to try our vaccine on it. <Didn't you try out the vaccine on the Uniblonder?>
DWT: And if it's unsuccessful?
CSM: Burn it, <Boy that's CSM's solution to everything. Light a match to it. > like the others. <No, no, no. You didn't burn the others. You left them in a building then blew it up. And you didn't do a good job at that. You really MUST do a better job of keeping track of the havoc you wreck.>
The scene closes on a shot of the alien inside the fireman's stomach. All you can see clearly is a pair of bony hands.
This scene basically introduces CSM and shows that the conspirators do actually exist. Just in case the heathens weren't sure. I suppose after M's drunken speech in the earlier scene they had to show that M wasn't entirely crazy. It's also a nice tie-in to "Patient X" and "The Red and the Black" mentioning the vaccine. One thing about the vaccine, did they develop another vaccine or did they just not trust Krycek's assertion that it was actually a vaccine? (Okay so the words "trust" and "Krycek" don't really go together.) Because I could have sworn that they had tested it on the Uniblonder.
I love CSM's answer to everything. "Burn it" Heh heh. (Okay so I'm a pyromaniac. Sue me.)
Speaking of burning, I'm surprised that the Consortium didn't start burning down houses or something to chase away the people who live in the area. It can't be because it's too attention getting for them. They blew up a bleepin' building. The consortium must WANT to get busted. Why else would they do things to cause their plans to come to light? How could a group this stupid last as long as this one has?
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