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I am such a glutton for punishment. I just finished the movie so what do I do? I go and pick another episodes immediately. I suppose someone should benefit from my insanity. And since it's obviously not me…
My sister is a complete and utter wench. It's about 2am. I should be watching cable. But am I? NO! Why? Because that sibling that my parents insisted on bringing home when things were perfectly fine with just the three of us, borrowed an item of mine and did not bring it back. Especially after I specifically told her I'd need it tonight. I don't know who I'm more pissed at. Me or her. I am so tired of her borrowing things and not returning them in a timely fashion. You would think that what's mine hers the way so many of my belongings end up spending large amounts of time at her apartment. And why do I keep lending the wench things? Because she's a bleepin' nag. She calls my house while I'm sleeping because she seems to think that 10am is late enough to be sleeping. Never mind that I work from 4pm-midnight and don't sleep until at least 4am. So she calls and calls and calls until I finally answer the bleepin' phone. (I wish my cordless phone had a way to turn the bloody ringer OFF) Then she whines and whines until I give in. Grr! So now instead of watching pay-per-view, I'm watching bleepin' infomercials. (Actually that also has to do with an unwillingness to get up from my seat to get the remote. But it's still her fault.)
Sometimes I really wish I were an only child. <sigh> Well enough lamentations about one's parent's non-use of birth control oh so many years ago. On to the "show."
A note before I begin. The format's same as the last time. I'll include a list of abbreviations before each section. Comments will be in "<>" and actions will be in [] The dialogue is in bold.
Jose Chung's From Outer Space: Big Trouble In Klass County
The scene opens with a worm's eye's view of the night sky. Okay maybe not a worm's eye view, we're looking up at the sky just sittin' and thinkin' all right? A metal structure passes into view. It appears otherworldly as it moves across the screen. What are those items on the bottom of our mystery object? Are they turbolifts ala Star Trek? Are they tunnels for mail service? Casings to protect wiring?
As the camera moves to cover the top of object we learn it's a crane used by electricians. A man talks into a phone.
Man: Yeah, this is Roky. I checked all the connections. I don't know why all the power's down out here. I'm going to have to come in and get some more equipment. Yeah, yeah… yeah, I'll need several of those. All right. <What a thankless job it is to have to work nights. Trust me on this one.>
While Roky (ROK) is talking to his boss, a car passes by. A guy and a girl are seated in the front. Looks like they're on a date. They're driving in companionable silence. The guy decides to change that.
Guy: Um… I don't want to scare you, but… I think I'm madly in love with you. <Oh yeah. That is such a good move early in a relationship. Because we all know that showing stalker tendencies is the perfect way to guarantee that the relationship will continue.>
The girl smiles. The guy continues.
Guy: I mean, you're all I think about. You're my whole world. <While he's talking he's not looking at the road. Yet another X-File driver who must have sold his soul to maintain a good driving record. Because no one seems to ever look at the bleepin' road.>
Girl: Harold, I like you a lot too, but this is our first date. I mean, I think that we need more time to get to know one another. <A first date no less. This relationship is doomed! Doomed I tell ya!>
The car shuts down own its own and slowly rolls to a halt. <Isn't this just the way it starts in those cheesy horror movies? The car stops for some reason then all of a sudden the hormone driven teenagers bite it?>
Girl: What happened?
The hopeless sap, Harold (Hsap),tries to start the engine. Suddenly, a bright light shines down from above. The girl screeches. <Unfortunately, not quite at a frequency high enough to hurt only dogs. I think I nearly busted an eardrum.> A spaceship hovers above them blinding them with the light. Harold desperately tries to start the car. He is of course unsuccessful.
Hsap: Oh my God! Oh my God! <It sounds like he's about to hyperventilate.>
Two -er beings approach the car. They look like the typical gray aliens.
Girl: Harold, what are those things?
Hsap: How the hell should I know?
The two aliens get on each side of the car. The two teenagers stare at them then pass out, seemingly by a mere look from the aliens. The alien near the driver's side looks into the car as though confused by what he/she/it sees. Harold stares at him, eyes glazed over, as the alien reaches in to grab him. The aliens drag them back towards the ship. <Surely there has to be an easier way to abduct someone than to drag them through the street to the ship. Don't they have some kind of lift or something? Hell Roky does and he's a mere earthling.> A sharp noise is heard and another, different looking spaceship comes down, shining a red light down. The aliens turn in shock, putting down the bodies. A giant er behemoth jumps down and slowly walks towards them, growling and roaring. <Not exactly friendly type behavior. I think running might be a good idea right now.> He stops in front of them. He's a great deal bigger than the two grays, easily towering over them. He also shows atrocious manners by roaring in their faces. <He probably has really bad breath too. Why are you still standing there?> The gray that had been dragging the girl looks to his/her/it's companion.
Gray 1 (GR1): Jack, what is that thing?
Gray 2 a.k.a. Jack (GR2): How the hell should I know?
Something is definitely rotten in Klass County.
This teaser sets up the basis for the myriad of truth versions that will come up later. All the happenings, and stories revolve around this event. And even now the event isn't really clear. The only thing for sure is there's a power outage in the vicinity.
Not for nothing but is Harold a loser or what? What kind of psychotic goes around declaring his love for someone with whom he hasn't even concluded his first date? If I were this chick I would be running home as soon as possible. "I don't want to scare you." Puh-shaw! Hello! You already have!
Why were the aliens dragging Harold and his date to their ship? Don't they have a somewhat more efficient method of snatching people? I mean really I don't care if they pick remote roads in the middle of east bumblebleep, eventually the law of averages says that someone will see them. Especially if they're dragging people to their ship like a sack of potatoes. Something is definitely amiss.
Boy did that third alien look cheesy or what? If I didn't know the timing of the episode I would have sworn it was a "MTV Celebrity Deathmatch" reject.
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