Meandering to a different drummer.

I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

The whole world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus.

I just got a firm grip on reality - now I can strangle it!

One by one the penguins steal my sanity.

Therapy is expensive, poppin’ bubble wrap is cheap!

It's ok to talk to yourself and it's even ok to answer yourself. It's when you start going, "Huh? What did you say?", that's when the men with the snug fitting white coats show up.

Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.

I had to hit him -- he was starting to make sense.

A day for firm decisions!!!!! Or is it?

Roses are Red, Violets are blue, I am schizophrenic, And so am I!

Gotta run. Neighbors just sighted Elvis making crop circles.

Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper.

My mind is like an open book. Hooked on Phonics to be exact.

Do not disturb me. I'm disturbed enough already.

Gone crazy, be back later, leave message.

I do whatever my Rice Krispies tell me to.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

You're just jealous because the voices are talking to me.

You're not paranoid if they really are out to get you.

It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...

Fear not my insanity, fear the mind it protects.

My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Sanity is not my strong point.

Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.

I can see clearly now, the brain is gone . . .

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

To think or not to think. What was the question?

"I'm betting that I'm just abnormal enough to survive." -- The Tick

I've got a mind like a.. a.. what's that thing called?

"Are you nuts?"
"Nope, just insane!"

I have two personalities. One is paranoid and the other is out to get him.

Kiss me twice. I'm schizophrenic.

Around here, to be nuts is normal, to be sane is stupid.

The more things change, the more they stay insane.

I can never remember if I'm the good or the evil twin.

I don't suffer from insanity. I enjoy every minute of it.

Is it time for your medication or mine?

You can get some slack in the straightjacket if you just roll your shoulders.