Backup not found. [A]bort, [R]etry, [P]anic...

BREAKFST.COM halted . . . cereal port not responding!

Why doesn't DOS ever say: EXCELLENT command or filename?

Drive A: not responding.. .Formating C: instead

File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)

Hit any user to continue.

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

Printer not ready. Do you have a pen?

Press any key except... no, No, NO, NOT THAT ONE!

Bad command or file name. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaaay...

(A)bort, (R)etry, (G)et a beer?

Error: Sector not found -- search behind couch? (Y/N)

***ERROR 666 - HARD DRIVE POSESSED. LOAD EXOR.SYS (Y/N)***

Error reading FAT record: Try the SKINNY one? (Y/N)

Your hard drive has been scanned and all stolen software titles have been deleted. The police are on the way.

Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.

COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key.

Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!

C:\> Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner!

Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)

SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory. . .

Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...

E-mail returned to sender -- insufficient voltage.

Error: Keyboard not attached. Press F1 to continue.

Press any key to continue or any other key to quit...

Scandisk is now checking your hard drive. You can start praying.