Friends are just enemies who don't have enough guts to kill you.

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends."
-- Oscar Wilde

Friends are the bacon bits in the salad bowl of life.

You're twisted, depraved, and rotten to the core... I like that in a person!

Friends come and go, but enemies acumulate.

We've been through so much together and most of it was your fault.

Someday we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Sometimes I worry about you (the rest of the time I panic)

Earn cash in your spare time - blackmail friends.