Hardware: the parts of a computer that can be kicked.
--Jeff Pesis

Behind every good computer -- is a jumble of wires 'n stuff.

A)bort, R)etry, I)nfluence with large hammer.

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up, there's no law against whacking them around a little. --Porterfield

E Pluribus Modem

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.

How do I set my laser printer on stun?

Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny