You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

"Nice boy, but about as sharp as a sack of wet mice."
-- Foghorn Leghorn

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

How Can I Miss You If You Won't Go Away?

Sorry If I Look Interested. I'm Not.

Me, getting smart with you?...How would you know?

He does the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly and Moe.

Your ridiculous little opinion has been noted.

Thank you for not annoying me more than you do.

Why are you here, and what can I do to change that?

I read your mind, and trust me, it was a short story...