"Usenet is like a herd of performing elephants with diarrhea - massive, difficult to redirect, awe-inspiring, entertaining, and a source of mind - boggling amounts of excrement when you least expect it."
-- Gene Spafford,1992

The Web isn't better than sex, but sliced bread is in serious trouble.

There is an old saying that if a million monkeys typed on a million keyboards for a million years, eventually all the works of Shakespeare would be produced. Now, thanks to Usenet, we know this is not true.

Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach him to use the Net and he won't bother you for weeks.

Out the 10Base-T, through the router, down the T1, over the leased line, off the bridge, past the firewall...nothing but Net.

Any time you are feeling stupid, any time you are feeling foolish, remember: Someone, somewhere, is opening an attachment.

Help! I'm modeming... and I can't hang up!!!