Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.

Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Confuscious Says..."Man who smokes pot chokes on handle."

Confuscious Says..."Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants."

"Stop quoting me, you idiots"
-- Confucius

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

All things are possible, except skiing through a revolving door.

Smile . . . tomorrow will be worse.

Test tube babies shouldn't throw stones.

A bird in the hand is safer than one overhead.

A bird in the hand makes blowing your nose difficult.

To err is human; to moo, bovine.

Don't sweat petty things... or pet sweaty things.

"Grant me the stubbornness to change what I can, the laziness to accept what I cannot, and enough beer to sit around and endlessly discuss the difference between the two."
-- Dick Dun