If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

If you don't pay your exorcist, do you get repossessed?

Isn't Disney World a people trap operated by a mouse?

Did you know that SATAN is an anagram for SANTA?

Can I yell MOVIE in a crowded firehouse?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax?

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn?

How do 'Do Not Walk On Grass' signs get there?

Could crop circles be the work of a cereal killer?

Does Mr. Rogers really want us to be his neighbor?

On Gilligan's Island, if the professor could build a radio out of coconut, why couldn't he fix a hole in the boat?

Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

If Superman is so smart, why does he wear his underpants over his trousers?

If you had a million Shakespeare's, would they write like a monkey?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

How come they call them Tuna fish but not beef mammal or chicken bird?

How much cheese could Chuck E. Cheese chuck if Chuck E. Cheese could chuck cheese?

Is Lever 2000 soap Y2K compliant?

If Lamb Chop married Howdy Doodie her name would be Lamb Doodie?

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?

If genetic scientists crossed a chicken with a zebra would they get a four-legged chicken with its own barcode?

Why do hair shampoo instructions say "Lather. Rinse. Repeat"? If you did this, would you ever be able to stop?

If you're standing on your head, and you pull your pants down, is that really such a bad thing?

If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?

Which came first -- the chicken or the various things that taste like chicken?

If a pig looses its voice is it disgruntled?

If you take a fly and rip off its wings, will it be called a 'walk'?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

Does killing time damage eternity?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Are part-time band leaders semiconductors?

Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawnshop?

Daylight savings time -- why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

How can there be self-help "groups"?

How do you get off a nonstop flight?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

Does fuzzy logic tickle?

If someone gives you a penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, where does the other penny go? Do you get change?