I try to pay attention. I swear I do. I’m constantly in and out of the class. I’m here but I’m not. It also doesn’t help that the material is so boring and the fact that I don’t understand it, either. I very much doubt that I ever will. I can’t pay attention long enough to even hear it let alone try to take it in and make sense of it. It would help if I could read the books but as I said earlier -- I try but I can’t.

My computer classes are good though. Maybe because the professors try to make it interesting and they try to tell us where we might actually use it in real life or where we might or at least see it. I also learn better with “hand’s on” learning rather than lectures or readings. I also enjoy computers, though I don’t know how to do much on them. Besides using the computers on campus at Grand Valley I never had access to good computers. Up until I bought my current computer in September 97, I had a Commodore 64, which by today’s standards are as complex as and useful as a Rubix Cube.

I wish I was one of those “computer nerds” like some of my friends. There’s so much I’d like to learn but it all requires reading the material to learn it. I would absolutely love to learn HTML. I’ve even bought a book or 2. I have been dying to set up my own web page forever, it seems. Because of my love of the Internet, I keep thinking I’d like to get into web publishing, but I don’t know how to do anything on the web other than look and download.

I check my watch. This class goes so slow, but not as bad as last semester. My classes in England were 3 or 4 hours long -- pure hell for me. I can’t sit still that long.

One thing, I think, people notice about me rather soon after they meet me, is that I’m really restless. I can remember talking to one of my friends on the phone saying “I watched Days of Our Lives today. I sat still for a whole hour!” His response to that was, “That doesn’t sound like you.” And this is coming form someone who doesn’t even know me that well. I am rather notorious among my friends for being so restless. Many times I stop to see my friends at a restaurant where I used to work. They are always telling me that I need to find something to do to keep me busy -- get a job, get a life. (Which I wholeheartedly agree with. I need a place to channel my energy.)

I am unemployed at the moment (by choice). A couple days ago I applied for a job for 2 reasons: for money, but more importantly, for something to do! I never thought I’d apply for a job just to have something to do. Right now I’m going crazy being at home all the time -- there are only so many times I can play solitaire or watch Mulan.

There are many times I get a so-called “bright idea” for something to do, just to get distracted from it 5 minutes later. I can remember last spring I got the bright idea to drive, by myself, up to Ludington to go to the state park for the day. Ludington is about 1 and 1/2 hour drive each way from where I live. So I drove up there and got to the park around 10 a.m. I wasn’t there for more than 20 minutes before I got bored and left. I just started driving again. I ended up in Manistee. I bought a Mother’s Day present there, so at least I accomplished something. Then I drove back through Ludington, stopped at a store and bought a sweater, then I started for home. I was home before 4 p.m.

Many times now I just drive around because I’m bored and have nowhere to go and nothing to do. I never know where I’m going when I leave home. I usually come home after I’ve gone at least 100 miles. I don’t plan it that way, it’s just what happens. In the past week alone I think I’ve put 500 miles on my car -- only about 200 of which is by going somewhere I actually needed to go.

Okay, I just went through my wallet. Fortunately, I have enough money to get some gas in my car on the way home. I go through a lot of that. I also found a few ticket stubs in my wallet from some movies. Apparently I haven’t seen any movies in a couple weeks. It seems like it’s been longer than that. I don’t even know what’s out. I rarely watch TV so I don’t see the trailers except at the theater and I never seem to remember those.

The last movie I saw was In Dreams with one of my friends. That’s a freaky movie. Yes, I am actually the one that picked it out. After the movie my friend told me that he’s not going to let me pick out another movie again . . . oh, well. But I seem to recall him picking Dirty Work. (Apparently, he practically worships Norm MacDonald. Why? I have NO idea.) That movie was worse. I read a review of it afterwards that gave it a 4 on a scale of 100. At least In Dreams got a 50-something. Yeah, I’ll have to remember that one.

Lately I’ve been wanting to buy a new car -- 1999 Saturn SC2, loaded -- $18,195. My car, a 1992 Saturn SL1, has been having problems. I’ve had it in the shop (at the dealership) 2 times in the past 2 weeks. For what it costs, if it keeps this up, soon it will be cheaper to lease a new car, but actually I’ll be broke first. Maybe if I get this new job I can start saving for it. But first I want to go back to London.

I miss London. Last semester I lived so close to London (basically in a suburb of London), I could just hop on the train and be there in 20 minutes. Now I can hop in my car and 20 minutes later I’m in Grand Rapids. What a comparison! Actually there is no comparison. Last semester I could just go into London if I got bored. There’s so much to see and do -- shopping, seeing a performance in the West End, museums, sightseeing, etc. I went shopping all the time (most of the time just looking though -- everything is so expensive). I practically lived in Covent Garden. I love it there. The atmosphere of the place is amazing. I wish I could describe it.