Adventures in Sprites

They're Coming to Take Me Away, Ha..Ha...
by Les Myer

On the eve before Thanksgiving, my son Tim and I embarked on an unforgettable adventure - we were determined to trailer two different Spridgets over 3000 miles, in 5 days! We came to take them away!!!

You may be wondering why we would attempt such a thing, so I will try to explain..... A certain web-site owner put an ad in his own classifieds, asking to find a rust and dent-free Midget shell on which he could perform major mechanical modifications without feeling he was destroying a bonafide Sprite. He also said he was willing to travel anywhere in the Continental US for the right car!

The ad was answered by many, but two particular cars stood out above the rest. Gary Speckman in Wisconsin had a former SCCA racecar he purchased for the engine/trans and other go-fast goodies to put in his vintage-racing Bugeye, and Didier Dorot/Alan Fisher from the New England states found and offered a '77 Midget, sans engine and partially disassembled. Both cars were rust/dent-free and similarly priced. Ultimately I decided on the '77 Midget, since the SCCA racecar was to be stripped of its suspension and I knew I would have a hard time explaining to my wife why my new car didn't even roll. Still, it was a hard choice. I closed the deal through Didier Dorot/Alan Fisher and Alan graciously agreed to tow the car to his home and store it until the holidays. After reluctantly turning down Gary Speckman's offer, Gary asked me to put the car in the PDLJMPR Classifieds, and sent me a few photos of "The Beast". I have to admit this car is one nasty-looking Spridget, especially with the flared fenders and 10" racing slicks all around. When I saw the photos of the car, I immediately thought of Frank Clarici - my friend in New Jersey who previously had mentioned performing drivetrain upgrades similar to what I was planning. I scanned the photos and e-mailed them to Frank, along with a message saying that I could help get the car to New Jersey, on my way out to Rhode Island. Frank quickly purchased the Beast (which came with trailer) and offered me the trailer for my trouble! This was GREAT!!!! Get a trailer, instead of having to rent one - and all I had to do was detour to New Jersey (like I wouldn't have stopped to see Frank anyway)!! What a deal....and Gary agreed to drop Frank's car/trailer ahead of time, in a town near my route through Illinois! I asked Tim, my youngest son if he would like to come along, and he jumped at the chance.

All my spare time during late October and most of November was spent preparing "Big Red" (my 1977 Ford pickup with 139,000 miles) for the long haul to the East Coast and back. Although the pickup was in reliable running order after being well-maintained by the previous owner, I used the trip as an excuse to finally fix the stuff that didn't work anymore (like the cruise control) and do considerable preventative maintenance. Needless to say, more than one individual informed me I was crazy for taking the old truck on such a long trip. In response, I became obsessed with the concept of completing the journey without any vehicular problems. After a mega-dose of parts and sweat ...... brakes, wheel bearing pack, frost plugs, transmission service, water pump, fuel pump, all belts, all hoses, all filters, thermostat, motor mount, carb overhaul, spark plugs, tire balance, turn signal switch, new halogen headlights, and four new speakers, Big Red was ready to head down the road. I even put a timing chain in it, just for good measure (it turned out to be original)! I figured it was money well spent since I intended to keep the truck for some time, and really, it only cost several hundred to do it all (approximately the cost of having your late model car's alternator or starter replaced).

November 27, 1996 - Wednesday
Tim an I left Lincoln, Nebraska around 7:30pm, after stocking the truck with an edible care package from my wife, a carton of smokes from the convenience store, a case full of tunes on cassette, the cell phone, and a pillow for Tim. We drove six hours on I-80 to our destination for the night, Davenport, Iowa - pretty boring ride, especially at night! 'Nuff said....

November 28, 1996 - Thanksgiving Day - Thursday
Thanksgiving day turned out to be much more exciting than the drive to Davenport. We started out mid-morning and reached the designated coordinatesfor Frank's car around 11:00am. Gary had dropped the car off behind a friend's business, in the small town of Malta, Illinois the previous day. We hooked up to the trailer, installed the safety chains, and checked to make sure the lights worked. However, I had nothing in the truck to pin the flip-over hitch lever in place. Being the trailer-towing expert that I am, I decided the safety chains would provide sufficient security until I could get a bolt for it somewhere in the Chicago area. I was wrong!

Since Tim had never been east of Des Moines, Iowa before, I thought he might like to drive by the Sears Tower and see a little bit of Chicago. We decided to drive into downtown on the Eisenhower Expressway and then take Lakeshore Drive along Lake Michigan, until we hit the Indiana State Line where we would pick up I-90/I-80 and continue eastward.

We were several miles from downtown, doing about 65mph in the far-inside lane of the inbound Eisenhower Expressway (5 lanes each way) when we hit a horrendous pothole/bump. I looked in the rear-view and saw the trailer had come loose as it was pitching back and forth, from left to right - still held by the safety chains. I was able to slow the trailer down a bit with the pickup before the safety chains broke completely free and the trailer tried to pass the truck on the left side. Fortunately, the Eisenhower Expressway has a high concrete divider separating opposing lanes and I was able to stop the trailer by squashing it into the divider with the side of the truck. At one point I remember the left wheel of the trailer riding way up the wall and I thought it was going to flip over into the bed of the truck - but it didn't! I would have hated to be the person following me!

So there we were, stopped in the fast lane of a major expressway with trailer along side - what to do now? The trailer was already against the wall but we needed to get the pickup out of oncoming traffic as much as possible - I pulled forward, the trailer scraping the side of the pickup, and just before clearing the trailer we heard a pop....my step bumper had been bent outwards. It caught in the right front wheel well of Frank's car and broke the flared fiberglass fender. I pulled ahead of the trailer, trying to get the pickup out of the fast lane, as far as possible.....and then the utility truck from Heaven came! A huge City of Chicago Utilities boom truck stopped dead in the lane right behind me - a gracious move, offered to protect the well-being of an apparent idiot! With the huge truck behind us I felt safe enough to crawl out of the truck - I grabbed the trailer tongue, pulled the trailer forward to my vehicle, and dropped the hitch back on the ball.

Back in the pickup, I turned on my right turn signal and the utility truck moved over a little, now blocking the left two lanes of the expressway. There were a lot of angry drivers honking their horns all the while, but the utility truck successfully cleared each lane for me, in succession, and allowed me to take an exit 200 yards away and 5 lanes over, without further incident. I wish I could have met the truck driver to thank him in person, but he continued on the expressway after after honking his horn and exchanging waves with us.

Off the expressway, we drove around in a fairly scary-looking area of Chicago, looking for a parking lot where we could stop and do a damage assessment. Finally, a convenience store with a Walgreen's across the street was spotted and we got out to look. The trailer itself appeared to have little damage, other than scuff marks on both of the tires from the pickup/wall and broken tail lights. I found red primer from a light scrape of the upper right rear fender of the Beast, on the left rear hubcap of the pickup - presumably this happened when the left wheel of the trailer climbed high on the lane divider wall. There was also a light scrape on the Beast's left rear fender from being too close to the divider wall. However, the left front fender that had caught on my bumper was a real mess. The pickup took quite a beating on the left side from the trailer wheel, caving in the box ahead of the rear wheel. There was also damage to the driver's door and left front fender, from the right front of the trailer. (I'll show the damage photos later in this story). One thing I know for sure is.....Gary, you did an excellent job of bolting the car to the trailer!!!

After purchasing a padlock at Walgreen's to pin the trailer hitch, we found our way back to the expressway and continued on without safety chains and trailer lights - what else can you do on Thanksgiving Day? We did drive by the Sears Tower and continued on the scenic route down Lakeshore Drive to Indiana.

Mid-way though Indiana we took the South Bend exit, went north, and stopped at a local restaurant for a Thanksgiving buffet. After eating our fill (and then some) we visited with the manager, telling him of the day's events and our wish for an open store to purchase some bolts and trailer lights. He called around the area for us until he found that K-Mart was open and he gave us directions. We were able to purchase trailer lights, wiring connectors, and bolts to secure what was left of the safety chains to the bumper and finished the repairs in the K-Mart parking lot at dusk. Back on the road, we didn't stop until we reached our hotel in Youngstown, Ohio - just before crossing into Pennsylvania. We checked in and drove a few blocks to a Denny's restaurant for a late meal. Shortly before our food came, our waiter and a city policeman (apparently on break) migrated to the window nearest our pickup/trailer and started speculating as to what kind of car was being trailered! The cop had no clue, but the young waiter correctly identified it as a Spridget racer - amazing! I broke into their conversation from our table in the nearly empty restaurant, told him he was correct, told him of the day's events, and also told him I wasn't sure what Frank was going to say about the damage..........

November 29, 1996 - Friday
On the road again by 10 am, Tim and I chose to take the Pennsylvania Turnpike (I-76) all the way across Pennsylvania to the city of Philadelphi, where we would then simply hop across New Jersey on the state highways to Frank's home in Tom's River. Pennsylvania is, for lack of a better words, a heck of a long way across! Tim was amazed that, contrary to popular midwestern belief, most of Pennsylvania is rural in nature and quite beautiful. He also had no idea that Pennsylvania has mountains, including tunnels where you actually drive through the side.

At dusk, we paid over $20.00 in toll at the New Jersey state line, caught the New Jersey Turnpike north for one exit, and managed to get hopelessly lost in Fort Dix. Eventually I drove out of Fort Dix, found a convenience store, and asked for directions to the town of Browns Mills. We finally found Highway 70 which took us through Lakehurst where we picked up Highway 37 to Toms River. Once in Tom's River, I drove up and down 37, trying to remember where to turn (Frank drove me last time I flew out). After a half hour of this, I picked a street and drove towards the bay, eventually driving out of Tom's River. It was time to call Frank, so I did - carefully trying to prepare him for the damage to his new car while asking directions to his home. He took the news much better than I suspected he would - Saying something to the tune of "We'll fix it, don't worry"!

Fortified with new directions, we finally arrived at Frank's home. The Beast's damage was inspected and it was determined that Larry Clarici, Frank's boat-repairing-expert brother would come over in the morning to check out the damaged fiberglass. Frankie Jr. and one of his friends were particularly impressed with the 10" wide Goodyear racing slicks, and Frankie thought they would look quite good on his Mini. Tim had a chance to inspect Frank's newest Bugeye (first Bugeye he had seen in person) and was quite impressed with the tilt-up bonnet as well as the workmanship that becomes apparent when one inspects any of Frank's Sprites. Dianne fed us and we conversed about the events of the trip thus far, as well as what had been going on since we last saw each other last August. Dead-tired, Tim and I turned in for the night in Frank's "Sprite Room".

November 30, 1996 - Saturday
When we awoke the next morning (I am known for my ability to sleep forever) Frank had already unbolted the car from the trailer and Larry was over to look at the fiberglass damage. Before he was done looking, Larry had already had a devised a paint scheme for the car. You will have to just wait and see what it is, since I will not devulge that information - let's just say that the car will definitely draw attention. We drove the car the 1/2 block to Larry's house and the three of us picked the car off the trailer - sat it on two piano dollies, and wheeled it into Larry's driveway where the Beast is currently awaiting repairs.

Damage to the Pickup
Damage to the Beast
Frank & Dianne Clarici w/Jaguar
Frank & Dianne's Driveway w/cars

Soon, it was time to leave the Clarici's and head for Alan Fisher's home in Portsmouth, Rhode Island - a small town outside of Newport. Frank & Dianne, being the gracious hosts they are made us a sack lunch of sandwiches with sodas and cookies, for the road and loaned us a cargo strap to help tie my new Midget to the trailer. We said our goodbyes and we stopped at a local hardware store for chain and bolts before proceeding up the Garden State Parkway and New Jersey Turnpike to the George Washington Bridge, where we crossed over into the Bronx.

We took I-95 along the southern edge of Connetticut, the state I know for high gasoline prices, no toll roads, and luxurious rest stops. Rhode Island was entered on I-95 and then we cut across to Newport Island, staying on Highway 138 through Kingston and the city of Newport on the way to Portsmouth. We easily found Portsmouth, but eventually had to buy a map to find Sweet Farm Road and Alan Fisher's home.

Alan and his lovely wife, Christine treated us to a variety of Italian delicacies for dinner and we were then shown Alan's MKIV Sprite (which is coming along very nicely) and the Midget we were picking up, as well as his extensive collection of British car parts - and I do mean extensive!! We had a few beers and talked Sprites and computers until bedtime.

December 1, 1996 - Sunday
We rose reasonably eary on Sunday as I wanted to be on the road by 11 am and had several helpings of some wonderful French toast Christine had made. Alan decided to play a little joke on Frank Clarici and e-mailed him a note saying that I was very disappointed in the Midget and had left in a huff the previous evening - wouldn't even spend the night. He then sent him another note saying that the first one was not true. It did get a rise out of Frank before I left - I can't seem to recall what Frank said.......

We loaded the Midget on the trailer by pushing it up a couple of planks, and threw the rest of the partially disassembled car in the back of the pickup. I wrapped the chain I bought in Toms River around each a-frame of the Midget and the trailer frame on each side, bolting the chain together in two places. The rear axle was cinched down to a brace between the trailer frame, using the cargo strap Frank loaned me, and we were off....headed back the way we came. I worried about the nylon strap securing the rear of the car so we found a lumber store and more chain/bolts were purchased to securely fasten the rear axle to the brace between the trailer frame. This is when I got the idea to let the air out of the tires, chain the car as tightly as possible, and then air the tires back up - that's exactly what I did!

After airing up the Midget tires in Newport

Finally, we crossed the bridges from Newport Island and went merrily on our way. Unfortunately, by the time we reached Connetticut, the pressure from the tires broke one side of the brace between the frame rails loose. This time we stopped at a rest area and I re-fastened the rear axle to bolt holes in the lip of the wheel channels - this time in the pouring rain! (remember the East-coast monsoon that made National News, the Sunday after Thanksgiving? - this was the start of it!) Thoroughly drenched, I climbed back into the pickup, waited 10 minutes for the windows to defog, and back on I-95 we went.

Those of you in the area may also remember the traffic jam / accidents that occurred on I-95 in Connetticut that afternoon - we were there! I'll tell you, being from Nebraska I have never seen traffic like this in a rural area - I guess everyone from New York went to New England for the holiday and everyone decided to come back Sunday afternoon. After four hours only netted us 80 or so miles in Eastern Connetticut, I could only imaginge what it was like near New York City - so I decided to bail from I-95 at New Haven and travel cross-Connetticut to I-84 east of Danbury. It was a very scenic route (except for the rain) and it moved a lot faster than I-95, so we were happy for the time being. When we got to I-84, we found it not much better than I-95. Since it was getting dark and my temper was flaring, I decided it would be best to stop for dinner and see if the traffic cleared with a little time - we pulled off I-84, just shy of the New York state line and found a very nice steakhouse.

Tim had never eaten a "real steak" in a "real steakhouse" before, so I suggested the Porterhouse - which came with an all-you-can-eat soup and salad bar. We pigged out on the salad bar and waited for our steaks....and what steaks they turned out to be!!! They were 24 oz Porterhouses, 1 1/2 inches thick, no kidding....and broiled to perfection! Neither of us could finish our steak - this says something because both Tim and I seem to have hollow legs when food is involved! We left with a doggy bag and a smile on our faces.

By now the traffic had thinned a bit and was moving reasonably well, despite the rain. The jaunt across New York on I-84, past the tip of New Jersey into Pennsylvania went great, however we felt sorry for the people going the other way. Once in Pennsylvania, we jogged north to Scranton and picked up I-81 South, heading towards I-80. It started raining so hard that we could hardly see to drive - and this area was quite mountainous, with lots of curves. Worrying about the possibility of ice-formation on the road and/or significant amounts of snow during the night kept me driving.

We finally drove out of the rain on I-80 in mid-Pennsylvania around 11 pm, and driving was again relaxed, but somewhere near Clarion, PA I looked in my side mirror and saw sparks flying from something following us down the road - it was the frame cross brace! Since this brace had Frank's license plate on it, I walked back and searched until I found it. On we went, without lights and a plate this time! The Ohio border was reached about 2 am and we stopped in Youngstown again, for the night.

December 2, 1996 - Monday
Since I was due back at work on Tuesday, this meant we needed to make it all the way to Nebraska on Monday! Listening to an AM Chicago station while crossing Ohio and Indiana, we learned that a moderate snow storm had hit Iowa and was heading for Illinois - we hoped the roads wouldn't be too bad for us that evening.

The Illinois border was reached around 5 pm and we bounced over rough sections of I-80, south of Chicago. Again, I looked in the rear view - only this time I saw much more of the trailer's left wheel than I had previouly seen on the trip. After pulling onto the shoulder, we inspected the trailer and found that the left frame rail had broken completely loose from the tongue of the trailer - the only thing keeping it from hitting the ground was the chain wrapped around it and the a-frame of the Midget! We limped down the shoulder of I-80 until we reached Joliet, Illinois and stopped for the night.

December 3, 1996 - Tuesday
The trailer frame was welded back into place at a muffler shop, 1 block from the hotel - and we hit the slushy Interstate by 9 am. It snowed for a while and the roads were wet, but by the time we reached Davenport, Iowa they were dry again. The sun again shone and the rest of the trip home was pleasingly eneventful!

Epilogue
I am quite proud that Big Red made it all the way to Rhode Island and back without any problems. I think it proves a point - it's not how new your vehicle is, it's how well you maintain it. However, I still cannot understand why I got 13 mpg without the trailer, yet 14mpg while pulling a car on a trailer.

The Midget is still sitting on the car trailer. I will soon be taking it to a bodyshop whose owner will be advising me on preparation of the body, for him to paint. I hope to have finished installing 2.8 liter MPFI V-6 / 5-speed OD in the car, and the painting finished by May of 1998.

Was it worth it? For the sheer experience of doing something different, it was well worth the money and effort. Will I do it again in 1997, I think not! Like Frank says, it is much more fun to drive a Sprite than to trailer it!

Les Myer