Hi. Why is this page here? Well I wanted a way to share a few of my experiences with my friends and family. Short of publishing a zine, this is really the easiest way for everyone to get a little taste of me. This will seem impersonal to a certain degree to some of you, or perhaps overly personal to others, and for that I apologize. To those of you that know me best, be assured that there'll be something in the mail for you, manana... I hope that you enjoy reading a bit of what I'll be adding here over the coming weeks and months.

Patrick

Leaving was probably the hardest thing I've ever done. My personality demands a high degree of stability and over the last 11 and 1/2 years in Austin, all I ever did was build roots and enmesh myself ever more deeply into the town I called home. I bought a house, I had a great and prestigious job managing an independent bookstore. I kept myself involved in long term relationships. I had a cat. I had 2 dogs. I had a lot, a lot, a *lot* of stuff. I loved collecting things. I have (in storage) over 20 different Kodak 'Brownie' series cameras from the 1960's on back. I had over 800 books (the large majority of which are being sold as used in the FringeWare Bookstore as you read this. I had a tight knot of really great friends.

But one day when I looked inside myself and cut through the clutter of my 70+ hour work week, my growing distaste with what Austin's growth was doing to the city, and the fact that my "writing career", the "real" reason for all my hard work was practically non-existent. I realized that I was about to turn 30 (March 15th) and all of my lofty goals and dreams and expectations had been set aside one by one in order to do, I don't know what. I know that I could have probably worked a bit more on the book I had outlined, had I not religiously watched Star Trek all those nights, or whatever. But the truth was that by the time I had done all the things that I *had* to do, I had nothing left for the things that I *wanted* to do. I had known, deep down, that I really needed to change what was going on in my life, one way or another. To abuse two metaphors at once, I had painted myself into a corner, and it was time to break a couple of eggs.

A long time ago, about 10 years ago, I had decided to move to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico. I was about 19 when I made arrangements to sublet my apartment, sold a number of my personal possesions, and packed things into storage. My girlfriend at the time, Diana, was initially supportive, but naturally, as the departure date approached, she began to voice numerous objections to my plans . Long story short, being 19, and foolish, as well as having gotten $600 worth of traffic fines (for being young and foolish) I backed out at the last minute. Since I had only $1500 saved for the trip, and over a 3rd was paid to the police department, and frankly, because I was scared, I chose to move in with my girlfriend. Naturally, this quickly destroyed our relationship, but the die had been cast and I was left with a heart full of "what ifs" about San Miguel. This is when I began planting my feet solidly into the soil and soul of Austin and made myself as comfortable as I could.

There's a lot to love about Austin, it has some of the most beautiful terrain I've ever seen. Limestone is the bedrock of Austin, and there is a lot of history in the stones of the city, and that sense of history trickles upwards into the buildings and the community as a whole. A friend told me once that Austin was founded during Capricorn. That sense of Capricorn, a solid, earthen practicality is part of why so mqny people are enchanted by the city's beauty and personality. But like my Capricorn friends, it has many sides. People of all types find something to love in Austin, whether it's the tight knot of former hippies, the college students, the bohemian artists and musicians, the State government types, the city welcomes them with open arms and embraces them. For many this is the only place in Texas where they can live without the judgement and often very real dangers that other Texas cities hold.

So all in all, I decided to Get The Hell Out. Getting there, was hard, being here is even harder. Already I feel an ache as I realize that the friendships I have cultivated are fading, and the difficulty of making new friends in an alien environment, a foreign culture, and in a foreign language.

that's all for now-

Patrick

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