THE "WHAT IF" OF MARRIAGE AND DIVORCE

1 Corinthians 7

I. WHAT IF... ONE IS UNMARRIED?

A. THE UNMARRIED MUST BE ABLE TO CONTROL THEIR SEXUAL LUST

1 Cor 7:1-2 "Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not
to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and
let every woman have her own husband" 1 Cor 7:9 "But if they cannot contain, let them
marry: for it is better to marry than to burn."

The Corinthians were troubled about the question of marriage, divorce and the unsaved
spouse. They wrote to Paul with their questions and this chapter gives the answers. If one is
not able to control their sexual desires, he or she is counseled to find a Christian mate and
get married. This prevision is made so the sexual sin of fornication will be avoided. Sex,
outside of marriage is wrong and condemned by the Lord. The practice of fornication leads to
a host of emotional, physical and spiritual problems, which are in most cases, long lasting.
There are a host of adverse consequences which result from fornication. Marriage is the
Scriptural answer. This is called "safe sex."

B. THE UNMARRIED HAVE GREATER FREEDOM TO SERVE THE SAVIOR

1 Cor 7:7-8, "For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper
gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. I say therefore to the unmarried
and widows, It is good for them if they abide even as I" 1 Cor 7:34-38 ". . . The unmarried
woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: . . .
And this I speak for your own profit; not that I may cast a snare upon you, but for that which
is comely, and that ye may attend upon the Lord without distraction. But if any man think
that he behaveth himself uncomely toward his virgin, if she pass the flower of her age, and
need so require, let him do what he will, he sinneth not: let them marry. Nevertheless he that
standeth stedfast in his heart, having no necessity, but hath power over his own will, and hath
so decreed in his heart that he will keep his virgin, doeth well. So then he that giveth her in
marriage doeth well; but he that giveth her not in marriage doeth better" 1 Cor 7:32-34 ". . .
He that is unmarried careth for the things that belong to the Lord, how he may please the
Lord: But he that is married careth for the things that are of the world, how he may please
his wife. There is difference also between a wife and a virgin."

This passage is clear, Paul was single. He wishes most believers could refrain from sex and
give their full attention to serving the Lord. However, God has not gifted some with this
control. There is not "spiritual" advantage to marriage or celibacy. It is strictly a matter of
ability. However, the practical advantages are great for the unmarried. They are free from
responsibility to a spouse and children and therefore, may give total time and attention to the
things of the Lord Jesus Christ. The father who has a daughter requiring marriage, is acting
completely within the permissive and acceptable will of God, when he gives her in marriage.
Still, if she does not so require, he does better when he does not give her in marriage. The
marring virgin herself will have her own problems when she marries. She will be required to
care for her husband and this calls for things of this world. There is a great difference of
opportunity between the single believer and the married believer.

C. THE UNMARRIED HAVE FREEDOM TO CHOOSE AS THEIR NEEDS DICTATE.

1 Cor 7:17-28 "But as God hath distributed to every man, as the Lord hath called every one,
so let him walk. And so ordain I in all churches. Is any man called being circumcised? let him
not become uncircumcised. Is any called in uncircumcision? let him not be circumcised.
Circumcision is nothing, and uncircumcision is nothing, but the keeping of the commandments
of God. Let every man abide in the same calling wherein he was called. Art thou called being
a servant? care not for it: but if thou mayest be made free, use it rather. For he that is called
in the Lord, being a servant, is the Lord's freeman: likewise also he that is called, being free,
is Christ's servant. Ye are bought with a price; be not ye the servants of men. Brethren, let
every man, wherein he is called, therein abide with God. Now concerning virgins I have no
commandment of the Lord: yet I give my judgment, as one that hath obtained mercy of the
Lord to be faithful. I suppose therefore that this is good for the present distress, I say, that it
is good for a man so to be. Art thou bound unto a wife? seek not to be loosed. Art thou loosed
from a wife? seek not a wife. But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin
marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare
you."

A. Jews and Gentiles are not required to change their status at salvation. 1 Cor 7:17-20

B. Slaves and free men are not required to change their status at salvation. 1 Cor 7:21-24

C. The single are not required to marry to change their status. 1 Cor 7:25-27

D. The married are not required to divorce to change their status. 1 Cor 7:27-

E. Because of life's difficulties, it is better to remain single if possible. 1 Cor 7:28-31

1 Cor 7:29-32 "But this I say, brethren, the time is short: it remaineth, that both they that
have wives be as though they had none; And they that weep, as though they wept not; and
they that rejoice, as though they rejoiced not; and they that buy, as though they possessed
not; And they that use this world, as not abusing it: for the fashion of this world passeth
away. But I would have you without carefulness."

II. WHAT IF... ONE IS MARRIED?

1 Cor 7:3-6 "Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the
wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and
likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one
the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and
prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. But I speak
this by permission, and not of commandment."

A. They are expected to render marital duties.

B. Spiritual activities must not interfere with sexual needs.

III. WHAT IF... ONE IS MARRIED TO THE UNSAVED?

1 Cor 7:10-14 "And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife
depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to
her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord:
If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not
put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased
to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife,
and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but
now are they holy" 1 Cor 7:16 "For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy
husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"

A. Believers are not to marry the unsaved. 2 Corinthians 6:14 "Be ye not unequally yoked
together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and
what communion hath light with darkness?"

The way to avoid marriage with the unsaved is to refuse to get emotionally involved with
them. As believers, we are to love, help and witness to the lost, but we are never to
knowingly enter into an unequal "yoke" with them.

B. Believers are not to divorce the unsaved 1 Cor 7:12-13 "If any brother hath a wife that
believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman
which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not
leave him."

Many who were unsaved, received the Lord Jesus Christ after their marriage. This resulted
in an unequal situation. What were they to do regarding this unequal marriage? Paul says
that if the unbeliever is willing to remain married to the believer, that is what they were to do.
The new believer was not to separate because of the unsaved condition of their spouse.

D. The spouse and the children may be won to Christ

1 Cor 7:14,16 "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife
is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. . . . For
what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O
man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?"

Believers were told to remain in the situation God found them. This does not mean one is to
remain in the sins listed in 1 Corinthians 6:9-10. "Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not
inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor
adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, Nor thieves, nor
covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God."
The meaning is they were not to use their new found faith as a rebellion against the
conditions under discussion. Children and spouses living under the roof of a dedicated
believer are under the sanctifying influence of that believer. Many times that influence
brings the unbelievers to trust the Lord Jesus Christ. Children and spouses are not
automatically saved because they are in a Christian household.

IV. WHAT IF... ONE IS DESERTED?

1 Cor 7:15 "But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under
bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace." 1 Cor 7:39-40 "The wife is bound
by the law as long as her husband liveth; but if her husband be dead, she is at liberty to be
married to whom she will; only in the Lord. But she is happier if she so abide, after my
judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God."

What should the believer do if the unsaved spouse refuses to live with a practicing believer?
Paul says the believer is to let them leave. Under normal conditions, the marriage contract is
for life. However, adultery, death and desertion free the believer from that contract and they
are free to marry a believer.

CONCLUSION: There are many who do not agree with our interpretation of marriage and
divorce and remarriage. However, we do not follow the Roman Catholic approach to
marriage. We do not believe marriage is a sacrament. We do not believe divorce to be an
unpardonable sin. True, God's perfect will "in the beginning" was that marriage be latterly
forever. However, sin interrupted and marred that plan. Divorce and remarriage was
granted. (Deut. 24:1-4). That permission has never been revoked. The rule is simple. It is
best to remain single. In order to avoid fornication, one must marry another believer. Those
saved after marriage are not to put away their unbelieving spouse. However, if the
unbeliever departs, the believer is at liberty to marry a believer.