"Bugs Bunny meets the Long Patrol."
(Scene: Bugs is walking through Mossflower. He hears talking and peeks over a bush to see who it is. It was Sunflash the Mace and his army of hares known as the Long Patrol. They had been marching and were settling down for a brief rest.)
Bugs: "Well, lookit the Badger Bragade. I 'tink I'll go have me some fun."
(Bugs strolls over to where Sunflash is sitting on a big rock. Sunflash is too busy rummaging in a haversack to notice Bugs, even when he leans on the badgers huge arm. Bugs pulls out a carrot and takes a bite.)
Bugs: "Ehhhhh, what's up, Badgerlord?"
(Sunflash only now notices him.)
Sunflash: "There's a vermin army to the North of here. We're on our way to fight them."
(Sunflash goes back to rummaging in his haversack. Bugs takes another bite of carrot.)
Bugs: "Well, doc, how'd ya plan on fight'n 'dem with no weapons?"
(Suflash looks at Bugs in disbelief. He pulls out his mace from behind the rock he's sitting on. He shows his huge mace to Bugs)
Sunflash: "No weapons? THIS is my weapon."
Bugs: "What? Dat little thing? Ya could'nt kill time with 'dat."
(Sunflash rises slowly from the rock hes sitting on, he's very irked at the rabbit before him.)
Sunflash: "This little thing has killed hundreds of vermin, maybe more."
Bugs: "Yeah, sure, doc, whatever ya say. Tell ya what, why dontcha conveince me? Try hitting somethin' wit' it. How about that rock you was sitting on? Go ahead, doc. But first ya better limber up so's you can give it a good one. Here I'll hold yer stic-ah, I mean mace."
(Sunflash gives his mace to Bugs to hold. Sunflash stretches his huge arms and flexes his big paws. He looks at the rock the whole while, getting ready mentally to smash it to pieces. He doesnt notice Bugs has switched his mace for a BIG stick of lit dynomite. Still looking at the rock he reaches out his paw for the "mace". Bugs hands it to him.)
Bugs: "Here ya go, doc."
(Sunflash swings the dynomite stick over his head and slams it down onto the rock. A explosion is immediatly heard and nothing of Sunflash can been seen because of a cloud that's covering him. It quickly clears and Sunflash can be seen. He's standing in the same pose as when he hit the rock. His body is entirely black but the white of his eyes can be seen as they continue to stare blankly at the rock which, along with the dynomite stick, has disappeared. Bugs is laughing to hard to notice a hare named Trubbs was now standing behind him.)
Bugs: "Ahehehehee! Whatta badger gump!"
(Bugs stops as the hare roughly taps him on the shoulder. Bugs turns around to look into Trubbs angry eyes. Bugs laughs again.)
Bugs: "Aheheheee! Oh, brodder! Lookit the member of the "Lost Patrol", well ya know what they say, doc, hare today-gone tomorrow."
Trubbs: "You, sir, had better leave right sharp. We don't take kindly to blighters like you."
Bugs: "Oh, c'mon, doc. No hard feelin's. Here have a smoke."
Trubbs: "Sorry, old chap, I dont smo-!"
(Bugs shoves several sticks of lit dynomite into Trubbs mouth. Before Trubbs can do anything they explode. When the cloud covering Trubbs face disappears his face is now burnt black, his eyes are crossed and several teeth are missing. Bugs laughs as he walks away.)
Bugs: "Whatta hare-brain, whatta hare-loss, whatta hare--!"
(Suddenly Bugs is completely surrounded by the other members of the Long Patrol. He looks around at them sheepishly.)
Bugs: "Ehhhhh, w..w..what's up, docs?"
(All at once the Long Patrol tackle Bugs. A huge dust cloud covers them so all that can be seen are legs, long ears and fists. Bugs is heard screaming as the Long Patrol shout their warcry.)
The Long Patrol: "EULALIAAAAA!!!!"
(Finally the Long Patrol stop beating on Bugs and walk off. When all the dust settles Bugs can be seen lying on the ground. He's badly bruised and his arms and legs are tied into many pretzel knots. Sunflash, having gotten over Bugs's prank, orders the Long Patrol to move out. They all march off in a single file line past Bugs who can hear them snickering at him until the last hare finally goes by.)
Bugs (panting): "I dont know how I get into these "hare-y" situations.
The end.