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It is very hard to know where to start, so I will start with the
fact I was born in 1946, in Virginia and lived there most of my life. I
had an older and a younger sister. I try not to think too much of the young
years. I survived incest, severe physical beatings and brutality daily,
emotional pain and more. Even though I left home when I was 16 years old,
the abuses continued for the first 19 years of my life. I was hospitalized
for nervous breakdowns twice and tried suicide seven times, that I can
remember. The first time I was only 11 years old. It serves no good
purpose to go into depth. Let's just say they were very difficult years.
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Sherran Sue
1950
(I do not give my maiden name to protect my parents)
| My life really began in 1974 when Jehovah's Witnesses and their God, Jehovah offered me their hand in love and I accepted their invitation. This is when I found all the tools I needed to stay alive and happy, unlike anything I had ever known before. |
| My entire family left me, at this time. They no longer would accept me into their family. This was the first time they could not overpower me. I wanted Jehovah more than anything else and because of it, I lost all fear. I saw a door opening for me and I was not about to let it shut without me walking through it. I hate that I lost everyone close to me, but do not look back, since what I have found is more precious to me than life itself and is worth any price to me. I lost my mother, my step father, my two sisters, my husband at that time and since then 3 step children, my oldest son. In 1999, my youngest son was killed and in the year 2000, my oldest daughter wrote a letter that she no longer wanted to be known as one of Jehovah's Witnesses. I miss them. But, I have found something so precious in being part of Jehovah's Witnesses. It is the only family I knew where I was safe and loved. |
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| On the left is Pattie ( my oldest ). Ralph and I are in the middle. To my left is my oldest son, Rick. In front of her father is Debbie. In front of me is Ralph's son, Stephen and next to him is Ralph's daughter, Michelle. In 1982, the courts took Debbie, Michelle, and Stephen away from us because we did not give them Xmas and gave them to their mother. We cried a lot over that. They withdrew from us and from walking on the narrow cramped road. Their mother gave them lots of freedom and they ended up suffering for it. The court trials went on for years and exhausted us financially. In the end we lost and so did they. And their mother gained nothing but troubles she could not handle. All three of them are grown now and married. Michelle has 2 children and Debbie has 1. Stephen none. We seldom see or hear from them. They are still in VA. |
| In 1980, Chris was born. We did not plan him. We already had 5 at home still. But we hoped it would make us a real family. Someone who was part of all of all of us. We let the 5 children name him. He was only 3 days old and almost died from a strep infection. He was in ICU for 5 days. The panic I felt can never be described in words. We had no insurance. His bills were over $10,000 and we had bills for where I had just come home from having him. My husband jokes about how much he cost us a pound. |
| I mentioned in 1982 that we lost the three children. That was right after our little surprise, Aimee arrived. Chris was 2 years old the day Aimee was born. We had a home birth with her. Ralph cleaned carpets for a midwife to pay for her birthing help. We were so poor. But, not spiritually or as far as love went. We were the riches people on this earth, we felt. Pattie, my oldest, moved out and married a brother, in 1984. Now we only had three left, Rick and our two new ones. |
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I have had the wonderful honor to be in one drama at one of the District
Convention and have pioneered and attended the Pioneer School. I pioneered
for many years. Cancer and other problems put a stop to that.
My husband Ralph, was serving as an elder for many years. He recently stepped
down. I explain more later.
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This was in July of 1985
| The drama was titled "Guard Against Disgraceful Folly". It was based on the Bible account of Aachan. I had the privilege of making several of the costumes and had such fun with it. I got the large role of being in the crowd that stoned Aachan and his family and had two scenes. We got to to do it two Sundays in a row. How wonderful it was to rehearse with ones from so many congregations every weekend for months. I learned to love them all. Our 5 year old learned all the words by heart to that drama because he always went with me. The 5 year old was Chris. I didn't know then he would never live to be 20. Below is a picture of Chris and his sister Aimee. She was 2 years to the exact same day younger than Chris. Behind me is some of the costumes I made. Pretty good, huh? *smile*. Rick was a young man now and was used by the brothers to do props on the stage for this drama. He was 19. Right after this Rick went with his disfellowshipped father and he was disfellowshipped too. He is a man today in his middle 30's. I do not even know what he looks like. I miss him. At this time, we have two children left, Chis and Aimee. |
| The nicest experience I ever received was the two weeks I spent in Pioneer School. It even topped being in the drama. This was May 4-15, 1987. The instructors were Walter Myers and Ray Hayes. Never have I enjoyed anything more, except maybe pioneering itself. |
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Life took a turn in 1989 - 1990, when I survived cancer surgery,
a head - on collision with a drunk under age driver and my husband lost
his job and we ended up leaving my beloved Virginia, and leaving all my
friends I felt so loved by. This is when I had to stop regular pioneering
again.
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December, 1989
We all four lived. Ralph, Chris, Aimee and I.
| An under age young woman was on the wrong side of the road with no headlights, after dark and hit us head on. We saw her just before we hit. Four cars were involved. Three were totaled. I am the only one who had to stay in the hospital and just overnight. I had two broken ribs and teeth damaged, etc. Ralph had 17 stitches put in his face. We had on seat belts We had no job and no insurance. |
Ralph got a job and moved us to Michigan in February of 1990.
This was our home in Michigan. We left there June of 1995.
| I went through hard times and health problems in Michigan. 43° below zero wind chill factor was common for field service temperatures in the winter. My body could not get use to the cold. It caused me to have severe health problems. I had a bronchial spasm that did not allow me to take another breath for what seemed like forever to me. The doctor told me not to go out in the cold anymore. Then, I developed MCS ( Multiple Chemical Sensitivity ). When I could no longer attend the meetings, due to chemicals in the environment, Ralph took us 4 times a week, 100 miles round trip to meetings and service to another congregation in another city. He even took us in white out conditions. We could not see anything, but we moved forward and got there and back every meeting. We lived there for more than five years . My husband accepted a job transfer to Tampa, Florida, hoping the change in climate might make it easier for me to be able to serve Jehovah. After living in Tampa for only 3 months, I became so ill there was no way I could attend the meetings any longer and the loneliness and depression set in. I could get the meetings over the phone. That I did for about 2 years or so. |
| After moving to Florida, the company downsized and Ralph lost his job. We learned to heavily rely on Jehovah to keep his promises to take care of us and soon Ralph was working again, only to lose another job, because he did not have the skills to do architecture work. Again, we waited and then he got a tempt job from an agency. Jehovah never let us go without what we needed. This job turned out to be a very good one. Ralph is still working there now in the year 2000. |
| Whenever I get around chemicals like hairspray, perfumes, laundry products, or anything that has a perfume smell to it, my chest began to burn and then my breathing becomes labored. After that fatigue sets in that is debilitating. Then starts symptoms much like the flu, awful muscle aches, indigestion, nausea, sore throats that just do not want to go away. The worst symptom of all is major depression and there are still more symptoms. |
| These conditions cause me to live a very isolated life, away from the public. The number one killer of those with Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue, and Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is suicide. That is what I have. So, I have to guard what I allow my thinking to dwell on. But, it is still a very difficult battle. This condition shows no mercy or warning and it progressively gets worse. I am one of many of Jehovah's people who have this awful disease. |
| It is caused mostly by brain activity that is deprived because the sufferer never gets into the deep sleep pattern, needed to get strength. Others deprived of sleep for long periods of time have developed the same symptoms as those with these diseases. At this time, there is no cure. The thing that helps is not doing too much and resting a lot, along with no stress. But, it is a must that I stay away from the chemicals. It triggers everything else. |
| After the 2 years, we found a double kingdom hall. For some reason I could attend there if I stayed in the library screened off from others. Unless you have ever had to get meetings over the phone for an extended period of time, you do not realize the difference. It is the difference between listening on the radio to a broadway show or seeing it on the live stage in all it's grandeur and colors. I was so very appreciative of the elders for letting me claim that one room as mine. It was my little piece of paradise. But, they say all good things come to an end. I don't believe that, but this good thing sure did. My condition worsened. |
| I have had to learn how to do everything I do in a different way and have still not mastered it all yet. The friends at the hall know very little about me, except I seem to be anti-social and no longer go to the meetings. I have not been into a Kingdom Hall since January of 2000. I never expect to be able to go into one ever again. I try to make the most of what I do have. |
| I have learned to do phone witnessing and it is now becoming slowly comfortable. I can only do this if my mind is good. Chronic Fatigue makes you so tired you cannot think what to say on the phone. I also get the dog territories. When a dog wants to make dinner out of the friends, a brother gives the addresses to me and I write the householders. I have also started to write to the ones not found at home. I have to be busy in Jehovah's service or I will wilt. We are as good as the US Postal Service. Nothing can stop us from delivering the good news. I really miss the door-to-door work, though very much. |
| Because my health has gotten so much worse, my dear faithful husband has stepped down as an elder, to both of our great sorrow. I can no longer carry my load. I am so sorry. He has always been such a good elder. Now he is mastering a lot of the household skills. I have a back condition now that does not allow me to stand for long and I can do little phycially. If there is any real walking involved I have a wheel chair. I have a herniated disc pushing against my sciatic nerve and it has been determined by two doctors that it is inoperable. |
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Our youngest, Aimee married a brother, we love, March of 1999. They live an hour away and for Jehovah's busy people it is hard
to get together when it is that far. I treasure the moments they spend
with us. Aimee's dad married them in our livingroom so I could be
present too. I could not be with crowds of people. Wasn't that nice of them?
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| Tuesday morning, June 29,1999, the phone rang and woke me up. Chris had been in a serious accident. We were asked to come to the hospital. The social worker called me so I knew he was dead or dying. He was already dead when she called. It took them 40 minutes to cut him out the car. The nurse said he had a dying heart when he got there by helicopter. I have spent the last year in a total fog. I am now coming out of it and am ready to start again. I am preparing myself and encouraging my loyal mate to be ready for that new order of righteous rule, soon to come. This is no time to let life get you down. The real life is yet to come and I want to be ready when it does. |
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"Give sorrow words; the grief that does not speak whispers the o'er-fraught heart and bids it break." Read my poetry that expresses my sorrows. |
| December, 2000 was also a turn in events. My husband, Ralph had chest pains and was admitted to the hospital. He had two serious blockages in one of the arteries leading to his heart. They opened the blockages. He had two stints put in to keep it open. While he was in the hospital they noticed his blood sugar was high. They did tests and diagnosed him with diabetes too. Things got really scarey for a while. But, I still have him with me. It was so hard him being in the hospital, without me there. He had to stay in the hospital we were last in viewing our son's body. And I could not support him because of the chemicals and emotional feelings about that hospital. I have a very good husband. He sent me home to wait, after I let him off at the front door. The wait seemed so long though. |
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July,2002 Update.
Some have written in my guestbook wanting a current update. So, here it is. The chemicals have increased their vengeance on me. I cannot go out of the house much at all anymore, or leave windows open in the house. Even things like Ivory Soap or cars driving by are now making me sick. I found a store on the Internet that sells organic products and we have gotten a few of their products. This illness is progressive and I am not expecting a cure till Jehovah cures me in his grand new order of things. |
| I have a herniated disc pressing on my sciatic nerve that nothing seems to help. I have even taken physical therapy. I was told that I should go to a back surgeon. He said it was inoperable. Also my doctor said that this type of surgery usually does not work. I cannot be on my feet any longer than it takes for a shower. That puts the full load on my poor husband who is so faithful and good. I do what I can to help him in a sitting down position. I peel potatoes or fold clothes, etc. But, he is working all the time it seems. I know Jehovah will bless him for all of this. |
| But, the most important thing to us is that the brothers in our assigned congregation are so wonderful to us. They have a phone hook-up where we get ALL of the meetings, even the Book Study. We get to comment for both the Watchtower study and the Book Study. We are counted as there. |
| I cannot go out in service, as most of you do. But, I type out the presentations and attach them to the proper magazines and I drive the car along as my husband leaves them at not at homes or territories we are not allowed to knock at their doors. |
| The Assemblies and Conventions we get videos of. |
| The only time I see humans is when the CO visits or I get a shepherding call from the elders. I act silly when I see people now. It is like being on a new planet when I get out of the house. My husband sold my car since I cannot go places alone anymore. I am usually only out of the house for the time we spend in service, just my husband and I. |
| Ralph has a leak in one of his heart valves that he has to get an untrasound of. But, he seems to be doing really well with his diabetes and heart. He has a little arthritis in his shoulders and cannot put medicine on it because of me. But, he is taking pills for it and it is getting better. |
| We are excited about all the things taking place, just as Jehovah said they would and look so forward to life being wonderful soon for all of you and for us. So, we are still moving forward with Jehovah's organization and praying for you all to make it with us. |
| I hope I covered everything for you. Love to you all. |
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September 19,2002 Update.
My husband was laid off from work over a month ago. About 100 resumes' have been sent out and not even one phone call. He is 60 years old and too young to get any kind of assistance. But, it seems he is too old for anyone to want to hire him to work either. We are going to try and sell our house before we lose it. But, with MCS, where will I go? And who will let you live anywhere without a place of employment on the application? Our prayers are that we do not some how get disconnected from this congregation since they have been so very helpful in taking care of all of our spiritual needs so consistently, for years. The end has to be near. We know that we are not alone in all the woes that have been evenly distributed among Jehovah's people. We pray for our brotherhood and we wait on Jehovah to bring that welcomed relief. |
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May 1, 2004 Update.
A lot has happened since my last update. We went a long time without a job though we tried so hard to get one. When we had nothing we just kept praying. We cashed in all assets including our retirement to keep us afloat. When all of the assets were gone, a kind brother and his wife said we would not lose our house because they were going to make the payments for us until we sold it which we were trying to do. I just cried I was so overjoyed by their love. Then we found a buyer and the roof had to be replaced before it could be sold. After all of that time without work, we had nothing. What would we do? The brothers said if we got the supplies they would put it on for us. We charged the supplies and those dear precious brothers came over in the hottest part of the year in Florida and baked on our roof. They started early morning and were still up there in the dark working with a light. The next evening they came back to finish it up after their day at their secular jobs. How do you say thank you for all of that? I don't know how. Now that the house was sold, where do we go? We still have no job. Who would rent to us or sell to us with no job? And I have MCS. I can't go just anywhere, not even to a motel. Ralph's parents died and left a small house in northern Michigan for all of the six children to split. They have been trying to sell it and have been unable. We talked it over with them and they said we could stay there until we could find work and buy the house. So, off we go to Michigan again. Ralph worked so hard that he took a bad fall off the back of the moving truck he was unloading. But, other than bruises was not badly injured. But, the bruise was huge. Does he complain? Never. It took months to get the tobacco and perfume stains off of the walls, ceilings etc. It finally took replacing some ceilings and painting some walls and cabinets, etc. Poor Ralph. He has always been so good about taking care of me with my special needs. The search for a job started now in Michigan. The area only has about 5000 residents and jobs are not plentiful. After being up here for 8 months Ralph finally got a job working less than 20 hours a week doing easy work and he retired early and gets a little Social Security. The rest of his retirement went to house payments and such in Tampa. But, it is enough for us. We don't want much. Before moving up here Ralph contacted the Cheboygan Congregation to see if they had a phone hook up for me to get the meetings. They did not. But, the kind brother said he saw no reason why they could not get one before I got there. And they did get one. I am well cared for here. Only serving a faithful and loyal God, as Jehovah is, could have gotten us through almost two years of no income, not to mention we are better off now since we do not have the big expense of the house in Florida and we took some of that money and paid off a lot of debts. We are in better shape financially now than we were when Ralph got laid off almost two years ago. Only Jehovah could bring all of this about. We are not that smart. It is harder to preach here. I have been writing to some famous people like Andrea Yates and Luther VanDross. I have actually gotten replies from Andrea Yates. Our last child, Aimee, has left her husband, the truth. We are trying hard to deal with it relying on Jehovah. But, this is a very hard test. Her lifestyle prevents us from being able to help her. At this time she will not change. We move ever closer to a new world where there will be no more tears, outcry or pain. May Jehovah bless each and everyone of you with the peace that excels all thoughts and guard your mental powers. |
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July 24, 2006 Update. Jehovah has cared for our every need as you would expect him to. We are on a set income that is doable. We are so grateful. We love Michigan and all of the wild creatures we have seen here except the skunks. My health has continued to decline. I now have something that people with MCS often get, I am told. So, another alphabet has been added to me. EHS (ElectroMagnetic HyperSensitivity). The bottom line is that electrical fields make me very ill like chemicals have for years. It is impossible to avoid electricity since everything is electrical nowadays. I can get the meetings by phone still, if the phone is not in the same room with me and not get ill. I don't know how long before I get worse and cannot do that. But, as Jesus instructed we are taking today only to get through. I don't know how I will get the DC this year. I am hoping someone has really good notes somewhere and will share them with me. I have never missed a DC before or any assemblies. I have been isolated for 12 years now and I want to assure any of you ill that Jehovah DOES keep his promise to sustain the righteous ones. You will not be made to totter. My husband is doing well and believe it or not we are very happy together. He is a wonderful brother, friend and husband. I pray more for him to get everlasting life than I do for myself. He sure deserves it. I will not be on the computer much anymore, since it makes me very ill, but my husband is kind enough to type out for me any emails you send or entries in my guestbook. My communication with Jehovah's Witnesses has come to an end for the most part, I guess. I am invisible since I am in a new area where I have never been able to attend even one meeting. But, this is a wonderful congregation and are doing the work Jehovah has assigned them. The busier the friends are in the field the sooner the end will come. "This good news MUST be preached FIRST and then the end will come" according to Mark. I am hoping to meet and enjoy fellowship with all of you in God's wonderful new earth. May Jehovah continue to keep his promises to all his loyal ones as we all pray for one another.
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