A Maulvi writes
The ills of drink and gambling

AssalamoAlaykum. Wahrehmatullahe Wabarakatu. Firstly let me introduce myself.

I am Sheikhul Hadeeth Hazrat Maulana Muhammad Abdullah of the famous . . . (You already did that in the last issue Ed).

Ah. . Oh! Yes, so I did. Now where was I? Well I was about to say that I meet the strangest of people. Every month I go around the local shops to make a collection for our Mosque. Take Mr. Hamid in the local liquor store. He is as stingy as they come. Last month he said that He couldn't afford to give me any money because his lottery machine had broken down! What an excuse! God will never forgive him. Anyway I did manage to get five pounds from him but he wanted a receipt. Paper doesn't grow on trees you know, I said. That put him straight.

I ' m not a committee member at the mosque any more. They said I single-handedly doubled their efficiency overnight, when I left. I wonder if that's a compliment. I have another job now. I teach Arabic to four children at their home. The children are really nice. Their mother is good too. Every time I go there she insists I eat some of her delicious rice. Her chicken bhuna curry is irresistible too, and her lamb tikka masala is out of this world, not to mention her mince paratha

. . . . (Then don't. You are supposed to be talking about the ill effects of drink and gambling. This is NOT a Gourmet's Guide! Ed) Okay, Okay, don't get up-tight with me, I knew you when you were in your.... (Cut! Ed). You can't do this, I have more to say, I shall be back...