Just For A Laugh!  

Overheard in the lift "My boss told me I would geta pay rise when I earned it He's crazy if he thinks I'll wait that long."
 

Census official to harried housewife: "I need the exact number of dependents, Mrs. Smith, not how many will be alive after their father gets home."
 

A Confirmed atheist was visiting the house of a deeply religious friend. He noticed a very beautiful model of the solar system with a globe representing the earth, surrounded by all the planets. "I'd love one of these," he said, "Who made it?".
"Oh, nobody made," replied his friend, "It just happened."
 

An American was hopelessly lost in the Scottish Highlands and wandered about for nearly seven days. Finally, he met a kilted native. "Thank Heavens I've met somebody," he cried with delight "I've been lost for the last week." Is there a reward out for you" asked the Scotsman. "No." said the American. "Then I'm afraid ye're still lost"
 

At an auction in Paris a wealthy American lost his wallet containing over $20,000. He made an announcement about his loss and added that he would give $ I 00 to the finder.
From the back a clearly English voice shouted: "I'll give a hundred and fifty."
 

Hans was watching television one evening when his eight year old son came to him and said, "Daddy, will you take me to the zoo tomorrow?". "No," his father answered. "if the zoo wants you, let them come and get you."