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Hi my name is Carla, and I am 30 years old. I would like to share my story of sexual, physical and mental abuse. I hope that it helps some see the signs of what sexual, physical, and mental abuse can do to a child.
I was 3 when my parents started dating. They dated for 2 yrs before getting married. My Dad (which is what I call him) is a very good man. He loved and treated my sister and I just like we where his own!!! He has four sons and 2 daughters. His daughters live in another state. We didn't see them to often.
I was around 5 when the abuse started, and my sister was 7. My parents had worked two nights a week. They would leave us with the boys. After they were gone my stepbrothers would call their friends and they would come over. We were threatened if we ever told what they were doing to us, there would be hell to pay.
I am not sure how it got started. I think it was the games of spin the bottle. They would make us kiss their friends. Then it moved on to bigger and better things. If the bottle landed on one of us they would make us do oral sex to their friends. And when their friends didn't come over, they would force us have sex with them.
When we would refuse to do anything they would hit us. They wouldn't hit us in the face, but on the back or on the butt. They knew if mom and dad seen it they would be in big trouble. They hit one time so hard they left my butt black and blue, and my mom noticed it. She questioned what happened and they lied of course.
They would tell us if we didn't do what they wanted us to do, they were going to beat us. We would choose the beatings over doing the sexual acts they wanted. So they proceeded to tell us that we would get growths on our noses. Kind of stupid but as kids we believed anything. So they would have there way again.
Finally my oldest stepbrother realized what they were doing was wrong and wanted no more part of it. He tried to protect us. The protection often led to physical fights between them. There, was one time I will NEVER forget is when my oldest stepbrother was trying to protect me. He told us to get under the bed and not move. He held the door, so the other stepbrothers couldn't get in.
They were both screaming at the top of their lungs. The oldest was telling him that he was not going to do it anymore. The others kept screaming let them in. The next to the oldest brother found a belt, and began hitting the door with it. Well in the process he put a hole in the door. Mom and Dad came home right after the fight was over. They wanted to know what was going on. The boys lied to cover their butts. I wished that I could of told my parents then, but I knew if I did there would be hell to pay.
As time moved on my oldest brother went back to live with his mother. But there next to the oldest stepbrother stayed. I was asleep on my stomach one night. I woke up and he was on top of me. I just laid there and cried, hoping he would just hurry up.
My sister and I would take turns sleeping in the others room hoping that he would leave us alone. A lot of the times that didn't work, he would still sneak in. I threatened to tell one time and he chased me down and put a garbage bag on my head and tried to kill me.
When I was around 8 mom and dad where fixing to leave for work. I pretended to have a very bad stomach ache so mom would not leave. She took me to the emergency room because she was worried. I felt bad for lying but at that point I didn't care. Just so I didn't have to be alone with him. I would cry and beg them not to go but they had to work, because we needed the money.
I started to cry every time they were going to leave us. My sister and I finally told them one night as they were leaving, that they were hitting us and being mean. We didn't mention that they had been molesting us. We knew they would kill us. They took us to work with them that night. After that they didn't leave us alone with them anymore. They hired a babysitter to take care of us too. This made the older brother mad and he moved back with his mom.
My sister and I were so happy. But a few months later he moved back. This time he didn't touch or beat us, but would make us sit and watch him masturbate. If we moved he threatened us with the garbage bags. He stayed this time for just a few weeks. My Dad got another job in another city, so we moved few months later.
I was around 13 when my sister was telling my mom that another cousin was being abused and they were discussing how to help her. My mother told my sister about her being abused. My sister began to cry and told her what had happened to us years before. My mother woke me up immediately. I thought I was in trouble for it and I began to cry. Mom wanted to know if we were still virgins because of the things she did after she had been molested.
When my mother told my father, he cried. But, I don't think that he really to believed it until I was 29. We were sitting talking one night and I told him myself. He gave me a great big hug and told me that he was sorry for what his sons had done, but it was not his fault.
My daughter is now the age that it was happened to me. I look at her a wonder what could be sexually attractive about an 8 year old, child. I hope that I am the one to be able to break this chain of abuse in our family.
The signs of child abuse is, they don't want to talk very much and are with drawn from the ones they love. They are scared that it is their fault. They cry a lot, and some go back to wetting the bed or them selves. And some also become violent.
If you know of a child that has them symptoms, please check it out. Speak up and let someone know, save that child. They are just kids and need to be able to live their life worry free, while they are still growing.
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