"THE MUSHY USHY FF7/FF8 COMEDY CROSSOVER!" PART 1 SELPHIE: Hi!! I'm Selphie!
RINOA: This is Rinoa!!
SELPHIE: Okay, and this is our first fic together! It's a FF7/FF8 crossover!
RINOA: Wait... we have to recite the copyrights...
SELPHIE: Fine, I will.. This fanfic is an original mushy-ushy FF7/FF8 crossover the 2 of us (Paola & Bryana), and no one can't steal it. It was writting during the year 2000, and blah... It's also part of our site, so if you want to post it on your site.. ask for our permission or wait until we send the fic to your site. Thank you, that's all ^_^
RINOA: Hehe, well said! Now let's stop boring them @_@ Let's start the fic!!
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CHAPTER 1:
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NARRATOR: Right now, the FF7 characters are wandering the Knights Of The Round Island and seem to be lost...
CID: #*^%@#%! How can we get lost on such a small island!
CLOUD: Hey, how can we find our way through an island that's not even on the world map!
YUFFIE: Let's get off this island! We got the Knights Of The Round Materia already! I want more materia! Blah blah blah...
BARRET: Yo, do you ever talk about anything but materia?! Shut up!!
YUFFIE: ....Okay Mr. Barret...
AERIS/TIFA: Cloud, after we get off this island let's go to the Gold Saucer; just the 2 of us!
TIFA: What?!
AERIS: I asked him first!
REDXIII: Actually, you two both mentioned it at the exact same time..
CLOUD: ....
VINCENT: .... Aren't you going to reply them, Cloud?
TIFA: Yeah Cloud...
AERIS: ....What's your answer?
BARRET: Let's just get off this island!!!
YUFFIE: .... What if we never get off?!
BARRET: Cid will never get the chance to propose to Shera!!
CID: Hey, shut your trap, Barret! The thought of marrying her sickens me.
TIFA: You never replied us, Cloud!!
AERIS: Answer us, Cl- huh?
VINCENT: Hey, look, a portal!
REDXIII: To where?
BARRET: I say we jump in!!
CLOUD: But how do we know where it leads to?
(Barret jumps in)
CID: That %(#&@%!
VINCENT: We have no choice but to follow him...
YUFFIE: Fine, but I think we're going to regret this. [Maybe there'll be materia on the other side...]
(everyone jumps into the portal)
NARRATOR: Now where does this portal lead to? Oh look, some people were following our heroes!!
RENO: They jumped in there!
TSENG: Should we jump in too?
ELENA: Of course we should! Rufus ordered us to chase after Cloud and the others. We have to jump into the portal! It's part of our mission as Turks!
RENO: Elena... you talk too much..
ELENA: ....
RUDE: ... So do we jump in?
RENO: Why not? We're Turks, right? We can stand danger. How can jumping in a portal be so bad?
(Turks jump into the portal)
NARRATOR: Back at Balamb Garden...
RINOA: Squall, lets go somewhere!
SQUALL: RINOA! Are you EVER going to leave me alone!
RINOA: All you had to do was tell me! I would've left you alone!
SQUALL: *sighs* I'm not sure of that.  You haven't left me alone ever since the first time you saw my face!!!
RINOA: Squall, I-I'm sorry...
SQUALL: JUST LEAVE ME ALONE!
RINOA: Fine then, I'll see you around! *stomps out with tears running down her cheeks*
NARRATOR: Cloud and everyone find themselves in front of Balamb Garden.
BARRET: HEY! where the #@*& are we?!$(*&^&$ why'd we have to go in that @&(*#(*& portal!
CID: BARRET! You're the one who went in the portal first! And holy #*&# what the #^&$ is that thing!!!
TIFA: I'm not sure.. lets go in, there isn't anywhere else to go. *Everyone walks in*
CLOUD: This sign says Balamb Garden...where the heck are we!?!?!
AERIS: I don't know...
*Everyone goes into the garden*
YUFFIE: WOW! This place is BIG!!! They must keep alotta materia in this place!!! *flips out and runs away from Cloud and everyone*
TIFA: There she goes again @_@
AERIS: I know @_@
CID: Well are we just gonna #@*$&@$ stand here are we gonna (*&$#@(*& walk around this @(^#^#! place!?!
CLOUD: Fine lets walk around.
VINCENT: Hey there's an elevator...
AERIS: Yeah lets go in.
NARRATOR: On their way to the elevator they see Rinoa running out the garden.
TIFA: I wonder what happened to her...
AERIS: Yeah...
CLOUD: Looks like the elevator's not working... let's just walk on the bottom floor.
BARRET: Fine.
NARRATOR: They all go into one of the halls leading into the dormitory where Squall is...
VINCENT: I wonder where we are now.
REDXIII: Me too
CLOUD: Hey, someones talking in there. *grins* Let's listin.
NARRATOR: Everyone is listening to Squall talk to himself.
SQUALL: Why did I have to be so mean to her.  Why can't I just be a normal, sensitive guy....
AERIS: Hey do you think that he has to do with that girl running out of this place?
TIFA: Probably.
NARRATOR: Squall walks out of the dorm and see's everyone outside the dorm.
SQUALL: Who are all of you?
CLOUD: Uh-uh... I'm Cloud, This is Tifa, Aeris, Barret, Cid, RedXIII, Vincent and Yuffie is running around somewhere. We got lost and somehow ended up here, could you explain where we are.
SQUALL: Go ask someone else.
TIFA: Do you have anything do to with that girl that ran out crying?
SQUALL: Oh crap! Did she have black hair? Wearing something blue?
AERIS: Yeah, that's her!
SQUALL: She was crying!?
TIFA: Yeah...what happened?
CLOUD: (whispers to Tifa) Aren't you asking too many questions?
TIFA: (whispers back) Yeah...maybe I am.
TIFA: Sorry I'm probably being nosey.
SQUALL: It's allright, don't worry about it. *sighs* I better go look for her.
CLOUD: What's her name?
SQUALL: Rinoa...
TIFA: And what's your name?
SQUALL: Squall...
AERIS: We'll help you find her.
SQUALL: ......
NARRATOR: Everyone walks out of the garden and find Rinoa sitting that the fountain at the front gate. But meanwhile...
RENO: Hmmm... I wonder where we are...
RUDE: This sign reads: BALAMB GARDEN. Is this some kind of Garden?
ELENA: Maybe it has some Huge materia.. If we can find some, Rufus will favor us for the rest of our lives!
RENO: Elena... we're here to look for Cloud... not for materia..
ELENA: ....Oh...
TSENG: Look, if you want to figure out what this place is, let's just go inside and find out.
(walk into Balamb Garden)
YUFFIE: *running around* Where the #(%& is their materia?!?! *runs off*
ELENA: Look, there's one of the girls that hangs out in Cloud's party! That means they're here!
TSENG: How are we going to find our way through this place?
RENO: (spots Zell) Hey!! *grabs Zell by the collar* Show us around this place or you'll regret it!
ZELL: Hey, I'm in a hurry, and I don't want any of you injured...
RENO: Hah! You think you're going to injure us?
ZELL: *punches and kicks Reno then runs off*
RUDE: *lookz at Reno* You okay?
ELENA: This is one dangerous place... Let's leave.
RENO: No! Our mission is to find Cloud.. then that means we'll find Cloud.
TSENG: Then we'll have to find our way through this strange place ourselves, unless you want to get beat up again, Reno.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile... at the fountain...
TIFA: Hi! You must be Rinoa! I'm Tifa!
AERIS: And I'm Aeris!
RINOA: *sniffle*
TIFA: Hey, someone you know a lot is here with us?
RINOA: *looks up* Who?
(FF7 characters scoot aside to reveal Squall)
RINOA: Squall!! *jumps up and hugs him* I knew you'd forgive me! I'm sorry!
SQUALL: *hesitates* .....
RINOA: *lets go* Do you ever say ANYTHING?
CLOUD: Uh oh.. another argument is going to start...
AERIS: Hey, speaking of this situation...
TIFA: Oh yeah! Cloud!! If we ever go back to our world, you have to bring either Aeris or me to the Gold Saucer!!
AERIS: C'mon Cloud.. decide!
YUFFIE: *runs in* Gawd, I've been running around this place for a while and haven't even spotted a "steal" or "cover" materia!! *runs off*
BARRET: *(#(&, she should sit still!
CLOUD: ....
SQUALL: ....
CID: Haha, look, Cloud & Squall have the same reaction.
VINCENT: I think it'd be wise to decide now, Cloud.
CLOUD: Uh... er... Ah..
AERIS: I think he's going to say Aeris!!
CLOUD: Umm... I'll pick... Uhh.. T...
TIFA: No, he's starting to say "Tifa"!
CLOUD: Hey, we forgot about Squall & Rinoa! *turns back to them*
REDXIII: Where's Rinoa?
SQUALL: .... she ran off.
TIFA: Huh? What'd you say to her?
SQUALL: That she's such an emotional crazy female that keeps on bothering me...
AERIS: Wait.. weren't you supposed to apologize to her..?
SQUALL:... whatever...
TIFA: Waitaminute... Cloud! You changed the subject on purpose!! Decide in 5 seconds!
CLOUD: Uhhh...
AERIS: 5...
CLOUD: Ummmz... Errr...
TIFA: 4
CLOUD: Uhhh
AERIS: 3, 2, 1!
CLOUD: Hey, that's not fair!!
TIFA: You've had enough time before! Cloud, I'm tired of being left dangling like this!
AERIS: Me too!
TIFA/AERIS: Good bye, Cloud!!
AERIS: C'mon, Squall, can you show us around Balamb?
SQUALL: Uh... I guess.
(walk off)
BARRET: Yo, you screwed up big-time, Cloud!
CID: Haha.. now you got no girl!
CLOUD: ...
NARRATOR: Suddenly, the Turks approach the fountain...
RENO: We've got you now! We'll have to turn you over to Rufus.
VINCENT: Do you even know the way out of here?
RENO: ....
ELENA: Aww, let's just take a break! C'mon, Tseng, there's got to be a restaurant here somewhere!
TSENG: Okay... *walks off*
RUDE: You won't be so lucky next time...
NARRATOR: Meanwhile.. Squall is showing Aeris & Tifa around...
ZELL: Hey Squall!!! Come over here! I wanna tell ya somethin!
SQUALL: *Hangs head* Excuse me for a little while.
ZELL: Hey, who are those people who just came in the garden???
SQUALL: I'm not sure, they're from another world. And... *Zell cuts Squall off*
ZELL: Hey! that one with the long hair is cute! I'm gonna go talk to her!
SQUALL: *shakes his head like he always does*
ZELL: Hey, what's your name?
TIFA: *giggle* Tifa... and this is my friend Aeris. *Tifa whispers to Aeris* He's kinda cute!
AERIS: *whispers back* I don't think so, Squall's kinda cute, though.
TIFA/AERIS: *giggles*
ZELL: Hey! What's so funny, girls?
AERIS: Oh, nothing. I'm gonna go find Squall and leave you two alone. *walks off*
TIFA: HEY! You use gloves as your weapon too!?!
ZELL: YEAH! You use gloves? But you're a girl!
TIFA: Yeah..? So...What does that mean?
ZELL: Oh, nothing.  Want me to show you the rest of the garden?
TIFA: Sure *big smile*
NARRATOR: Back with Cloud and everyone.
CLOUD: Squall, you should go and tell Rinoa that you're sorry.
SQUALL: ...Fine, I guess I should [why is everyone siding with Rinoa?]
REDXIII: Hey there she is!
VINCENT: Go, Squall...
SQUALL: No, not right now; I'll do it when I feel like it.
AERIS: There you are, Squall! I looked everywhere for you!
SQUALL: I'm right here. Want me to show you the rest of Balamb Garden? Or we could leave the garden and i'll show you the city of Balamb.
AERIS: I'd like to see the rest of the garden...
NARRATOR: Aeris and Squall walk off. Then everyone else but Cloud leaves.
NARRATOR: Cloud walks off and finds Rinoa.
CLOUD: You really like him, huh?
RINOA: I USED to like him, now it finally hits me that I'm just wasting all my time trying to make him like me again.
CLOUD: Again?
RINOA: He used to like me...
CLOUD: Oh...
RINOA: Hey, there's a Ball for everyone, do you wanna come...I mean with me???
CLOUD: Heh...sure, why not?
RINOA: *stands up and hugs Cloud*
NARRATOR: Back with Zell and Tifa...
ZELL: Hey Tifa...
TIFA: Yeah...?
ZELL: Do you wanna...uh...
TIFA: Go on...
ZELL: *talking really fast* Do you wanna come with me the the Ball that they're having here in a couple of days?
TIFA: *giggles* Sure! *smiles*
NARRATOR: Reno is walking around by himself and runs into Quistis...
RENO: Hey, could you tell me where I am?
QUISTIS: Sure, you're at Balamb Garden.
RENO: Oh, could you show me around?
QUISTIS: I have some free time, I guess so.
YUFFIE: They must keep their materia really hidden around here!!!
AERIS: Yuffie, where in the world have you been!?!
YUFFIE: Looking for materia.
AERIS: Yuffie, you're hopeless
SQUALL: [Materia?]
AERIS: Yoohoo... Squall? You there?
SQUALL: ... Oh.. heh... Okay, let me continue showing you around Balamb.
NARRATOR: Meanwhile... at a nearby cafe..
ELENA: Hmmm... this is a nice place, isn't it Tseng?
TSENG: Yeah... it looks so peaceful..
RUDE: Must be lots of Mako here...
ELENA: *points out the door* Hey look! It's Reno! Now I know where he ran off to!
TSENG: Huh? *looks out the door*
RUDE: Hey, there he is with some girl!
ELENA: Hehe, they look cute together!
RUDE: Speaking of "together", Tseng has something to tell you, Elena! *nudges Tseng*
TSENG: Oof! Uh... er...
ELENA: *looks at Tseng* Yeah?
RUDE: *looks at Tseng* Tell her, or I'll tell her for you.
TSENG: Fine fine! Uh, Elena... I overheard from some of the people that there's going to be some kind of ball going on in a few days... want to go..? I mean, together.
RUDE: I'm going to come too! *Tseng nudges Rude*
ELENA: *grins* Sure!!
NARRATOR: Back w/ Quistis & Reno...
RENO: Hmmm... I think my friends were in that cafe...
QUISTIS: Oh.. want to go back and see them?
RENO: No, that's okay. They look fine without me anyway...
QUISTIS: So... what do you think of Balamb so far?
RENO: Pretty great place... it must be abundant with Mako & Materia...
QUISTIS: *blinks* Mako..? Materia..?
RENO: Yeah, don't you have Mako here? It's energy from the planet. And Materia is magic orbs formed by Mako...
QUISTIS: *shakes her head* Those terms aren't familiar to me. I guess your world is different than mine.
YUFFIE: *Runs in* This is... *puff* getting... *wheeze* tiring... no... *puff* Materia... *runs off*
QUISTIS: Oh, she mentioned.. materia or whatsoever... Is she from your world?
RENO: Yeah, but she's not on the Turks' side. She's the enemy.
QUISTIS: Oh? Are you Turks good or evil?
RENO: You can say we're sort of evil... but hey, don't worry.. I won't kill anyone right now.. not until I get back to FF7..
QUISTIS: Heh.. okay. I'm an instructor here at Balamb.
(students suddenly swarm to Quistis)
STUDENT1: Hi Ms. Trepe!
STUDENT2: Pleased to meet you, Ms. Trepe!
RENO: Wow, you must be some instructor!!
QUISTIS: Oh, sorry, I have to attend to you all later... I'm giving my special guest here a tour around Balamb.
RENO: Who are you students?
STUDENT3: We call ourselves the Trepes! Big fans of Ms. Trepe here! We'll run off now and give Ms. Trepe some free-time.
(students run off)
RENO: Wow, your own little fan group! You've got some reputation here, Quistis.
QUISTIS: Oh.. heh, it's nothing much. I just teach a class, that's all.
NARRATOR: By the fountain, Cid, Barret, Vincent, & RedXIII are still there...
CID: @#%&(*! Almost everyone left! What the #^%@% are we supposed to do now?!
BARRET: It's getting so *%&@(*# boring, especially with your #&%@ cursing!
VINCENT: But you cuss as much as him!
REDXIII: Stop wasting your energy with all that bad-talk. Let's just resolve a way to get out of here and back to our world...
CID: Aww #%*)(#@! Do you have any ideas?!
REDXIII: Well... how did we get here in the first place?
BARRET: You have some bad memory.. we got here by jumpin' into that portal..
REDXIII: Now, what I think is- we have to just search for another portal, jump into it, and it might return us to our world.
VINCENT: Where can we look for another portal?
REDXIII: That I do not know...
CID: Hey, loosen up, *%&(#@! Let's atleast enjoy our stay here.. hopefully a temporary stay...
(Tifa & Zell pass by...)
TIFA: So what's the ball going to be like?
ZELL: It's going to be a blast! We often have balls like these... we had a graduation ball a while back..
TIFA: Now I'm really looking forward to it!
(Tifa & Zell walk off...)
BARRET: Hear that? A ball... that sounds like fun...
CID: Haha, who are you goin' to take?
VINCENT: Do we need to take anyone..?
BARRET: (#^%@ no! *nudges Cid* Too bad Shera didn't jump into the portal, too, huh?
CID: &#&%(!!!! Stop making fun of me, *@$#%&!
REDXIII: I have to agree with Barret.. you two are so compatible.
CID: &(*&#$(%@! This conversation is makin' me sick! &%&#(@! I'll see you all later... *walks off*
BARRET: #%&@.. he needs a sense of humor.. or a sense of reality *laughz*
NARRATOR: While they're talking, Squall is about to end the tour around Balamb...
SQUALL: Well, that's all of Balamb!
AERIS: Thanks. Balamb Garden's a great place...
NARRATOR: Meanwhile... near the Draw point of the Balamb Training Grounds...
SEPHIROTH: What a strange place... Is this really where Cloud and those other fools are...?
NARRATOR: In a distance, 3 people walk into the training grounds...
FUJIN: We're a POSSE!!
RAJIN: Ya know!
SEIFER: Look! In the distance... it's a stranger...
SEPHIROTH: *draws his sword*
SEIFER: Hey... nice sword...
SEPHIROTH: *looks at his sword* Think so? Do you have a sword, too?
SEIFER: No, but close.. *takes out his gunblade* Nifty, huh?
SEPHIROTH: Cool weapon... must be great during battle..
SEIFER: It is... *grins evilly* I used the blade to slash one of my enemies in the face... it left a nice mark...
SEPHIROTH: Who is it?
SEIFER: Someone you might not know... He's some nobody named Squall...
SEPHIROTH: Reminds me of all the nobody's I fight against...
SEIFER: Like whom?
SEPHIROTH: Some bad excuse of a Sephiroth-clone named Cloud.
SEIFER: I'm Seifer, by the way... pleased to meet you...
SEPHIROTH: The name's Sephiroth *nodz* Likewise..
RAJIN: It's a great honor for the great Seifer to take your introduction seriously, ya know!
FUJIN: WHAT ABOUT ME!??!??!!
RAJIN: ....
SEIFER: Oh, this is Fujin and Rajin...
SEPHIROTH: ....Pleased to meet you 2...
RAJIN: Hi, ya know!
FUJIN: HI!!!
SEIFER: Now where are you off to, Seph?
SEPHIROTH: Nowhere, really... where is this place anyway?
SEIFER: You're here and you don't know where you are?
SEPHIROTH: I was following that clone of mine that I mentioned...
SEIFER: Ah.. I'm here because I'm trying to find Squall, Chickenwuss, and all the others...
SEPHIROTH: Let's find them together; It'll be easier...
SEIFER: *shrugs* Why not?
FUJIN: RAGE!!!
RAJIN: Ya know!
FUJIN: STOP! *kicks Rajin* STOP SAYING THAT!
NARRATOR: As they are walking off, Aeris & Squall pass by the broken elevator...
SQUALL: Hmmm... when are they going to fix the elevator...
AERIS: Hey, a banner... *reads it* A ball in Balamb Garden... that sounds like fun..
SQUALL: Oh, then maybe I can take you... it's in a few days..
AERIS: Hey, sure, why not? [Yess!]
SQUALL: Okay.. it'll be in 2 days...
[END OF CHAPTER 1]