Ernie Eats Cookies In Bed
a skit starring Ernie (Jim Henson) and Bert (Frank Oz)
(Ernie and Bert are in their beds. Bert is asleep and Ernie is snacking on cookies from a plate on his lap.)
Bert (rolls over and sits up in bed): Ernie?
Ernie: Yes, Bert?
Bert: Oh, Ernie, what are you doing with those cookies in bed, huh?
Ernie: Oh, the cookies? Well, I was just hungry, Bert, so I thought I'd have a few cookies before I went to sleep.
Bert: Ernie, Ernie, don't eat those cookies while you're in your bed, huh?
Ernie: Why not, Bert?
Bert: Because you'll get crumbs in the sheets, that's why.
Ernie: Gee, Bert, I'll get crumbs in the sheets? (He lifts the blanket to look for crumbs in the sheets.)
Bert: Yeah, Ernie, and if there are crumbs in the sheets, they'll get in your pajamas.
Ernie: Oooo, crumbs in my pajamas, Bert?
Bert: Yeah, yeah, Ernie, and if you get crumbs in your pajamas, they'll make you itch. You know that.
Ernie: Oh, I don't like to itch, Bert.
Bert: No, and if you itch, you won't be able to sleep, Ernie. So don't do it, okay? Good night. (Goes back to sleep.)
Ernie: Oh, gee, if I eat the cookies in bed, I'll get crumbs in my sheets. (A crumb falls into his sheets.) And if I get crumbs in the sheets, I'll get crumbs in my pajamas. (Feels a crumb in his pajamas.) And if I get crumbs in my pajamas, I'll itch! (Scratches himself.) And I won't be able to sleep! (Gets up, carrying the plate of cookies.) Oh, Bert, thank you so much for stopping me from eating cookies in my bed!
Bert: Alright, Ernie. Just ... just go to bed, though, okay?
Ernie: Okay. And I'm never going to eat cookies in my bed again!
Bert: Okay, good. (Ernie starts getting into Bert's bed with the cookies) Ernie? What are you doing?
Ernie: I'm gonna eat cookies in your bed, Bert. Move over. (Begins eating them as Bert sighs loudly.)
Transcribed by SlvrSlprz@aol.com