Grover The Waiter - and The Count
skit starring Grover (Frank Oz) and The Count Von Count (Jerry Nelson)
not complete yet
[The Count is sitting at a table in Charlie’s Restaurant.
In the background is a pair of swinging doors leading into the kitchen.
Grover comes to the table and asks for his order.]
Count: Bring me a hot dog.
[Forgotten lines. Grover goes through the kitchen doors to place the order.]
Count: Ah, hot dogs, my favorite American food!
Grover [coming back through the doors]: There you are, sir ... one hot dog.
Count: Ah, one! One hot dog! [He laughs and orders another hot dog.]
Grover: But, uh ... oh, all right.
[Goes back through the kitchen doors and yells.] Hey, Charlie, gimme another hot dog!
Count [moving the hot dog to one end of the table]: I’ll just put you over here, so when your friends come, there’ll be lots of room.
Grover [coming back through the doors with another hot dog]: Here you are, sir.
Count: Ah, I had one hot dog. You brought me another hot dog. That’s two! Two hot dogs!
[Laughs.] Ah, bring me another hot dog.
Grover: But, uh ... oh, all right.
[Goes back through the kitchen doors and yells.] Hey, Charlie, gimme another hot dog!
Count [putting the hot dog next to the first]: I’ll just make some more room ...
Grover [coming back through the doors with another hot dog]: Here you are, sir.
Count: Ah, I had two hot dogs. You brought me another hot dog. That’s three! Three hot dogs!
[Laughs.] Ah, bring me another hot dog.
Grover: But, uh ... you already have three hot dogs, and you have not eaten them!
Count: Oh, I am not going to eat them. I am going to count them!
Grover: Well, I am not going to bring you another hot dog! Charlie works all day, and ...
Count: Waiter!
[At this, Grover stops short with a mesmerized look in his eyes.]
Count [in hypnotic tones]: Go. Go and bring me another hot dog.
Grover [in trancelike tones]: Yes, sir!
[Fast-paced music and fast-motion start as Grover goes in and out the kitchen doors, bringing the Count another hot dog every time he comes out. At each new hot dog, the Count laughs and makes the thunder and lightning come. The hot dogs keep piling up on the table until Grover possibly collapses.]
Transcribed by SilveryShoe@aol.com