12 Angry Men

a Monsterpiece Theater production
starring Alistair Cookie (Frank Oz),
3 cows, 2 pigs, and 12 angry men

Parody of the classic film 12 Angry Men


[Monsterpiece Theater intro theme plays]

Alistair Cookie: Mmm! [eating cookies] Um-num-num-num-num-num-num! Ah! Um-num-num-num-num-num-num! Good texture. Um-num-num-num-num-num-num!

[Alistair Cookie burps]

Excuse me. Um-num-num-num-num-num-num! Cookie! Cookie! Um-num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num-num!

[Cut to Alistair Cookie as theme ends]

Alistair Cookie: [sighs contentedly] Oh, good evening. Me still Alistair Cookie and this still Monsterpiece Theater. Tonight, me proud to present "12 Angry Men". Emotional story of 12 men who feel very angry. Here now, "12 Angry Men".

[Scene cuts to 3 cows in a barn sobbing uncontrollably]


12 Angry Men


White cow: Ohhh, it's just so sad! [crying continues]

Alistair Cookie: Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait! Hold it! Stop!

[Camera cuts back to Alistair Cookie]

Oh, me very sorry. That not "12 Angry Men". No, no. That me believe, uh was, uh ... [clears throat]

"3 Sad Cows". Story of 3 cows who feel very sad. Real barnyard tearjerker. Here now, "12 Angry Men"

[Scene cuts to another barnyard scene with 2 pigs]


12 Angry Men


Pig 1: We are proud of our pigsty.

Pig 2: We are proud of our mud.

Pig 1: We are proud of our oinks.

[Both oinking joyfully]

Alistair Cookie: Uh, no, no, no, no!

[Camera cuts back to Alistair Cookie again]

Me sorry again. That not "12 Angry Men". No. That uh, that "2 Proud Pigs".
Story of 2 pigs who feel very proud. And who can blame them, huh?
Well, look like we out of time. So no time left for "12 Angry Men". So this Alistair Cookie saying good-bye for ....

[An angry lavender muppet with black hair wearing a suit zooms up to Alistair Cookie]

Lavender angry man: No time for us, huh?!

[Several other angry muppets wearing suits and ties surround Alistair Cookie]


12 Angry Men


Purple angry man with curly black hair: You make us intro cows and pigs and you run out of time?!

Yellow angry man with black mustache: Yes, that makes me really angry!

[All yelling angrily]

Alistair Cookie: Me sorry, guys, but that's show biz!

Pink angry muppet: Show biz?! Well, let me tell you, pal! [yelling] You got 12 angry men here!!!

[All continuously yelling angrily, Monsterpiece Theater end theme plays]

Alistair Cookie: Yeah, well. There you have it. "12 Angry Men". This Alistair Cookie saying good-bye for Monsterpiece Theater. Thank you.

[To the 12 angry men] Hey, hey! Chill out!

Lavender angry man with white dress shirt, black tie: You're gonna be hearing from my agent!


Transcribed by and pics supplied by David Frangioso