The 39 Stairs

a "Monsterpiece Theatre" production

starring Cookie Monster (Frank Oz) as Alistair Cookie
and Grover (Frank Oz)

parody of Alfred Hitchcock's "The 39 Steps"

Cookie Monster as Alistair Cookie

(Monsterpiece Theatre Overture plays)

Alistair Cookie: Oh, good evening, Alistair Cookie here. Me delighted to welcome you to Monsterpiece Theatre. Tonight me happy to bring you suspenseful film, classic thriller, "The 39 Stairs" by guy named Alfred. And now, "The 39 Stairs".

(Scene: Grover's on a staircase in some old place. This is in black & white.)

Grover: My word, just look at all these stairs, I do wonder how many there are. I shall investigate.

1 stair, 2 stairs, 3 stairs, 4 stairs, 5, stairs, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 stairs.

Oh, I know there will be something exciting awaiting me at the top. Hmm hmm.

11, 12, 13 stairs, 14, 15, oh, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20 stairs.

Oh, I'm certain there will be something very exciting at the top. Yes, I hope. Oh.

21, 22, 23, 24 stairs, 25 stairs, 26, 27, 28, Oh, oh, oh, 29, 30.

Oh. There better be something exciting at the top. I shall tell you. Oh.

31, 32, 33, 34, 3 .. 35 .. 5, 36, 37, Oh. 38, 39! Oh, oh!

At last, I am at the very top and I have here the very exciting ... brick wall?

Do you mean to say that I have climbed all these 39 steps and all I have to show for it is this BRICK WALL!!!

Are you out of your mind?!

Wait a minute. There is one good thing about being all the way at the top.

There are fun ways to get all the way to the bottom!

GERONIMO!!! Oh! Whoa!

(Grover slides down the stair railing and lands in the room Alistair Cookie is in)

Alistair Cookie: And so end, The 39 Stairs. (To Grover) You okay?

Grover: I do not know.

Alistair Cookie: Shhh. We still on camera.

Grover: What a nice rug.

Alistair Cookie: Thank you.

Transcribed by CookieCountDawn