I'm Square

as sung by Bert (Frank Oz)
this version from the album "The Gang's All Here" (1983)

One line begs the question, who the heck smokes on Sesame Street?!

(spoken)

Square huh?
Well, maybe I am
But I like it
And I'm not ashamed of it
I don't have to like what other people like
All right, I'm square

(sung)

Things other people find boring
Those are the things I'm adoring
I just love pigeons and I don't care
If other people say I'm square

Oh, I love galoshes, they give me a thrill
Cold mashed potatoes, I can't get my fill
I go for plumbing and I always will

I'm square
I'm square

I'm fond of yawning when evening is done
I like the beach when there's not any sun
Emptying ashtrays is my kind of fun

I'm square
I'm square

I love Kleenex
I can't get enough
I think potato chips, hangers and paper clips
Are wonderful stuff

Watching a haircut is my kind of kicks
You ought to see my collection of bricks
And give me some cards and I'll show you some tricks

(spoken)

Okay, pick a card, any card
Now don't show it to me
Abracadabra!
The four of diamonds, right?
Hey, come on, wake up!

(sung)

I'm square
I'm square

I love laundry
It's quiet and clean
I think banana skins, place mats and safety pins
Are perfectly keen

I go for music
I'm terribly hip
The latest dances I do them with pep
Play me a waltz and I'll show you a step
1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 3, 4, 1, 2, 1, 2 ... (jumbles words)

Ahem ...
I'm square
I'm square

I'm nuts about rocks and high button shoes
Argyle socks and pigeons in the news
I'm not rectangular
I'm not triangular
I am what I am, I don't care!

I'm square
I'm square
I'm square
I'm squa...Oh, gosh, what a lovely fire hydrant!

Transcribed by Anna