Joke List #2

Before you get that resume are a couple of "action words" that you shouldn't use. They mean something else in Corporate America...

When you say...It really means...
Outgoing PersonalityAlways going out of the office
Good Communication SkillsSpends lots of time on phone
Average EmployeeNot too bright
Exceptionally Well QualifiedMade no major blunders yet
Work is First PriorityToo ugly to get a date
Active SociallyDrinks a lot
Family is Active SociallySpouse drinks, too
Independent WorkerNobody knows what he/she does
Quick ThinkingOffers plausible excuses
Careful ThinkerWon't make a decision
Uses Logic on Difficult JobsGets someone else to do it
Expresses Themselves WellSpeaks English
Meticulous Attention to DetailA nit picker
Has Leadership QualitiesIs tall or has a loud voice
Exceptionally Good JudgementLucky
Keen Sense of HumorKnows a lot of dirty jokes
Career MindedBack Stabber
LoyalCan't get a job anywhere