Take One Drink: (very frequent occurrences)

Clive
1. Someone makes fun of Clive
2. Clive makes fun of Tony
3. Clive openly laughs
4. Clive makes fun of an audience suggestion
5. Clive takes away someone's points
6. Clive gives points to someone who's not even on the show
7. Clive asks an American: "You have those in America, don't you?"
8. Clive says "This is me, Clive Anderson, saying goodnight. Goodnight."

The Games and Performers:
9. There is a singing game
10. You hear the hoedown music
11. Someone screws up an accent
12. The cheezy "alien stuck to face" schtick
13. Someone has trouble with a prop
14. Someone wants to do porno (watch Paul)
15. Someone burps (watch Tony)
16. Someone gets messy in "Helping Hands"
17. Desert Island theme
18. Someone grumbles because they have to sing
19. In "Film and Theatre Styles" the situation is never mentionned

Audience:
20. Someone suggests a foreign soap opera

Costumes and Appearances:
21. Tony's hair is gross and greasy
22. Tony fixes his hair or shakes it
23. Someone wears a bolo tie
24. Mike McShane has bushy hair/Mike's beard takes up more than 60% of his face
25. Someone wears a t-shirt under their suit jacket
26. Tony looks like Col. Sanders (The KFC guy)(look at his ties)

Abuse
27. Paul Merton is rude
28. John Sessions acts like a pretentious wanker
29. A Brit makes a crack about America and vice versa
30. Someone makes fun of Sandi Toksvig's height
31. Someone tries to make fun of Clive in "World's Worst"
32. Someone's fashion sense is questionned

Etc:
33. Tony or Mike mops his sweaty face with a handkerchief

Take Two Drinks:
1. Someone mentions "Twiglets"
2. Someone falls over
3. Someone calls someone else a bitch, tosser or wanker
4. Someone hits on Josie
5. Someone loses their turn after one try on "Questions Only"
6. Someone goes for the obvious in "Props"
7. Someone points out a phallic symbol in "Props"
8. Someone is helped in Alphabet
9. Someone has a crush on the bartender as a problem
10. Someone screams when horror is called in "Film and Theatre Styles"
11. Someone laughs during "Hoe Down"
12. Tony dances (2 drinks +)
13. Tony gets kissed (2 drinks +)
14. Tony puffs out his chest and/or has hands on hips
15. Tony wins 16. Josie's hairstyle changes
17. Someone does Agatha Christie in "Authors"
18. Chip serenades a woman in the audience
19. Mike McShane sings in the style of rock'n'roll or blues
20. Josie sings heavy metal
21. Ryan rambles on during "Foreign Film Dubbing"
22. The person with the most points does not win
23. Someone goes right up to the camera and yells into it (keep an eye on Mike and Tony)
24. Greg wears a shirt with skulls on it
25. In Questions Only, Colin asks "Is the Pope Catholic?
26. Ballet of any kind
27. Someone makes a reference to Monty Python
28. Someone makes fun of Hugh Grant (later episodes)
29. Someone gets 'hurt' (watch Mike and Ryan in ballet)

Take Three Drinks:
1. Someone forgets the alphabet
2. Someone mentions a well-known british actor who is unkown in America
3. Tony can't figure out all his guests in "Party Quirks"
4. Paul Merton sings badly
5. "Standing, Sitting, Lying" gets screwed up
6. Someone swears
7. Someone says "sod off!"
8. One contestant prompts another to sing a song on the spot (in non musical games)
9. More than one woman is on the show (3 drinks)
10. Clive refers to Colin as an American
11. Clive gives 69 points
12. A long penis is mimed
13. Xylophone is used for X in Alphabet

Take Four Drinks:
1. Tony Slattery undoes his pants
2. Ryan Stiles 'gets fed' in "Helping Hands"
3. Someone's nose gets picked, or gets a finger in their mouth during "Helping Hands"
4. Someone gets felt up in "Helping Hands" -keep an eye on Josie
5. Someone puts on a hat in Helping Hands
6. Someone is on the show only once
7. Colin Mochrie repeats 'really' in "Hoe Down"
8. Steve Frost shows his crack during "Old Job, New Job"
9. Someone breaks a prop (watch John)(3 drinks)
10. Someone is appointed 1 million points or more
11. All 4 contestants win

For Hard Drinkers Only:
1. Josie puts on a stupid voice
2. Someone behind Clive, in the audience, is odd looking
3. A sexual innuendo is made
4. An audience member makes a bad suggestion: suggests a person as a style suggests a theatre style that no one knows, and it is performed, or suggests a 'real' superhero
5. Clive wears a suit and tie
6. Clive presses the doorbell or buzzer
7. You see or hear Richard Vranch mentioned

BONUS ROUND!
If you are still standing, drink every time you see a WLiiA alumnus on another show or ad (examples include Tony on "Tibs and Fibs", Ryan on "The Drew Carey Show", Colin or Greg in an ad...) Whenever you see Richard Vranch lit from behind with soft 80's lighting, bad hair and an angelic smile!

SPECIAL TONY-RELATED BONUS!
If you see the episode where Tony splits his pants, chug your whole pint, glass, shot, whatever!