My All

By Ari Romanova

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is property of Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and Sunrise. The song “My All” is the property of Mariah Carey.

Key- “…”- Character speaking

‘…’- Character thinking

Relena lay silently in bed, looking up at the ceiling. It was about a year since the whole Mariemeia incident was over, and things had been relatively quiet and peaceful. Yet, she still saw his face. She still felt like he was there. Yet he wasn’t, and she doubted if he would ever be again.

‘I can’t sleep, if I do, I will see him, and the pain will just grow more’ she thought, ‘I shouldn’t love him, he is out of my reach.’

If only there was way. If only he felt the same way. Maybe he did, but he wasn’t one to act on any feeling of love for another person. She wondered if he was even capable of it.

‘I know you are capable of loving someone, Heero’ Relena thought, ‘if only that someone was me’

She began to wonder where he was. What was he doing? What was thinking? Does he even think of me?

‘Probably not’ she thought spitefully.

She looked up at her ceiling, and she thought she saw him. But no it was just an illusion. Great, now she was seeing him, when he isn’t even there.

‘I am going crazy,’ she thought.

“Heero, I love you,” she whispered out loud.

She looked out her window. She saw the stars faintly twinkling.

‘I wish he could know, for just one moment, how I feel about him’ she thought to herself.

What was the point of wishing on stars, never before had any of her wishes come true. Why should this one?

‘Because I want this one to come true more than any of the others’ she thought.

She would give everything just to see him one more time. He didn’t even know how she felt; she just had to see him. To look into his eyes for just a brief second, that was all she would ask for now.

Just to see him. She just needed to feel him close to her. To prove, that the whole image of him wasn’t a dream.

Just to see him, was that too much to ask for.

For a second, she entertained the thought of searching for him, but than quickly dismissed it, she was an adult, and she shouldn’t go out on half-cocked adventures, searching for guy who might not even want to see her.

Oh, but how she wished he would, how he would want to see her, and by some chance feel the same way.

‘Now I am just thinking the same things over and over again,’ she thought ruefully.

She kept trying to fight back sleep; she didn’t want to dream. Her dreams were all the same. She dreamt that he was there, and he would hold her, and it would feel like at that moment that the world would stop, and nothing existed except the two of them.

But it was only a dream, and the worst part was waking up and realizing it wasn’t real. He was never there, he never held her.

Totally exhausted, she slowly slips into her dreams. Dreaming of a wish, that would never come true.

I'd give my all for your love tonight
Give my all for your love
Tonight