Author: Diamond


Title: April Fool Part 1


Rating: R for suggestion, slash


Characters: Wes and Hobbie


Summery: Wes pulls a practical joke on Hobbie, or does he?


Disclaimer: Wes and Hobbie do not belong to me, nor does anything else in the Star Wars universe.  They all belong to George Lucas and company and I am simply borrowing them for a while for entertainment.  I don’t have any money anyway so suing is pretty much pointless.




April Fool, Part 1



Okay, so I’ve done a lot of thinking over the past couple days about what I’ve done.  Now, don’t be looking so surprised, I do think on occasion.  Anyway, I’ve come to the conclusion that it’s time to try and talk to Hobbie about it.  I just hope he’s cooled off somewhat since I heard from him last.   Yeah, I know, probably not, but I have to try.


A little while later…


Okay, I seem to have run into a problem in that he obviously doesn’t want to be found, especially by me I’m sure.  And I’ve looked through practically the entire base at least once.  Oh, and best of all, no one else seems to have seen him either.  Yeah right, they all know about what happened and are waiting to see the fireworks.  Okay, so with Hobbie it’s usually only fireworks when he crashes, but he’s really good at those long painful silences that just drive me up a wall.


Okay, back to the topic on hand, where would I go if I were Hobbie?  Well, Downtime’s out cause he likes to drown his sorrows in the privacy of his room when he’s all moody and upset, and it would be to easy anyway.  Add to that the fact that I’ve already checked both places several times and I think we can safely rule them out.  Wait a minute, Hobbie has this weird compulsion about cleaning his X-Wing, and I haven’t checked the hanger recently… 


And sure enough, there he is, scrubbing the life out of some carbon scoring on one of his X-Wing's s-foils.  He’s so intent on what he’s doing that I bet he doesn’t even hear me. Which is probably a good thing.  “You know Hobbes, I think that spot’s clean now.  You might want to move on to another one before you scrub right through”


“I suppose so. What do you want?”


Given the fact that he barely even looked up, or maybe I should say down with him crouching up there, I’d say he was more or less expecting me.  “Well, I was thinking perhaps I could throw myself at your mercy and grovel pitifully for a while and see if you'll maybe talk to me again.” You know, someone really needs to write a book or something entitled How To Start A Conversation When You’re In Serious Trouble. 




Obviously that person would not be me. “You know, it's rather hard to admit to my stupidity when you won't talk to me.”


“And, I'm not going to let you think you can just do something like that and get away with it by a little groveling.”


“Well you know technically I didn't _do_ anything, just said something, and I'm not really sure why your so upset to tell you the truth.”  Okay so that isn’t entirely true.  I have an idea, I’m just not sure if it’s the right one.


Okay, he just did that eyebrow quirk thing. This is the same expression he always uses when he either a) wants me to know I’m an idiot, b) is skeptical about what I just said, or c) all of the above.  Something tells me this would be a c.  “Look, you've been telling me for years that your completely and 100% straight, and I've been teasing you and telling you for years that one of these days I'd get you to see the errors of your ways, right?”




Ah ha, progress.  “So I figured you'd know I was joking around with you again and of course you'd kill me for it, but I didn't expect you stop talking to me all together. Granted, it was more public than usual, and that's what I'm thinking you must be upset about, unless of course it's what Nic thinks...” Sithspit, I really shouldn’t have said that.


“What does Nic think?”


Nope, definitely shouldn’t have said that.  “She seems to think that maybe your not as straight as you keep saying you are…” Now he’s doing that thing where he rubs the bridge of his nose with his finger.  This means he’s going to ask a question that he really doesn’t want to know the answer to and that I really don’t want to answer.  In other words, it’s never a good thing. 


“What do you think?” 


I knew it.  “Well, I'm not sure what to think to tell you the truth, but your reaction would make sense if that was the case.”


“Uh huh.”


To be honest, I’m more than a little curious to see if Nic’s guess is right.  “Is it?”


“Would it make a difference?”


“Of course it would.”  There are several reasons for this, not all of which I want to get into at the moment.


“Why? I matter what the answer is, how I feel toward you now is how I've always felt toward's not like that's changed, why would me saying one way or another make a difference?”


Well, looks like I’m going to have to get into them anyway.  “Because I wouldn't end up making a complete idiot of myself with you if I knew.” Wait, I do that all the time. “Okay so maybe I would, but in an entirely different way.”


“I don't want to be just another joke to you.”


Say what?!  “Your not.”


“Yeah right.”


All things considered I probably deserve that snort.  And now, I just have to sigh because I really don’t want to say this, not because it isn’t true mind you, but because I doubt the results of it will go well.  “Look, just because I say something as a joke, doesn't mean that's all it is. Sometimes that's the only way I think I can say something.”


Okay, he sighed, sat all the way down on the s-foil, laid his arms on his knees and then buried his head in them.  I knew it wouldn’t go well. “Hobbie...”


“No... I shouldn'tve said anything. Just go away.”


Yeah right, like that’s gonna happen.  “You know me Hobbie, I never just go away.”


Okay, now I know I just heard him mutter “likes that bacta taste..." So, I think I’ll go for the mildy indignant/ hurt tone here, not because I am, but because I’m hoping to distract him from the fact that I’m climbing up to sit beside him. “Hey, even Wedge never said I was that bad.”  It worked!  Okay so maybe he just didn’t care, but still.  Wait a minute, are his shoulders shaking?  They are. Sithspit.  “Is it really that bad?”


“Oh yes.”


His voice is still muffled in his knees, and now it’s making me wonder what it is that he isn’t saying. “Why?”


 You don't know what it's like...”


Well, he lifted his head to look at me, so that’s a good sign.  I think.  “Why don't you try me and find out.”


“I'm supposed to be the quiet one. The dour one. The one who most certainly doesn't have feelings of "that kind" for his best friend...Hell, I think I'm supposed to be the straight one, too. You can be whatever you want.”


He’s right. I don’t get it. “What does your personality have to do with how you feel? And who said you were "supposed to be the straight one"?  And why can't you be whatever you want too?”


 “It's just the way it works out, you know? You're the loud extrovert, and I'm ... not.”


That had to be the most listless shrug I’ve ever seen on Hobbes, and that’s saying something.  “Did you want to be? Not that it matters, I mean, you can't do or not do or feel something just because that's what people expect. It's your life, so do what you want with it.”


“I don't mind being the quiet one.”


“So be the quiet one if that's what you want, but don't let that put you in some kind of box because you think that it mean you have to act a certain way”


“But I do!”


“Why? I don't recall there being a rulebook.”  If there was I certainly didn’t read it.


“I told you, you don't know what it's like”


I am now officially bewildered at his logic, not that logic was ever one of my strong points. “No, I suppose I don't. I never followed the rules, even the ones that are apparently unwritten.”


“Different places, different rules”


Yeah, that doesn’t explain a whole lot about his point of view either, but all things considered, I’m not going to push it…much. ”And most of them are silly ones, but if you think you have to follow them, then I guess the only question I have now is what do you want to do?”


“Did you mean what you said? Any of it?  I mean, in that post.”


Oh boy…here we go.  I can feel myself running my fingers through my hair as I speak.  I really need to do something about that particular nervous habit. “Yeah. I played it off as a joke mainly because you never seemed all that interested and I'm not one to push where I'm not wanted.” I can see him getting ready to open his mouth to respond to that little statement and I beat him to it. “Well, not when it comes to something like that at any rate.”




“Look, I'm still not gonna push where I'm not wanted, or at least not where your either not wanting, or unwilling to go. I'm sorry I put you in this position, and I never meant to hurt you. I just don't usually tend to think most things through before I go ahead and do them.”  And you of all people should know that.


“Neither do I.”


Great, so where does that put you and me now?  “So, you and I, we gonna be okay? I don't want to lose what we've got because I opened my big mouth.”  Which we all know isn’t the first time and won’t be the last by any means.


“I.... Yeah, I think so.”


I wonder what he was going to say before he changed it.  “You sure? 


He nods at me and I wonder if now would be the time to leave him alone like he asked me to earlier.  Maybe I should ask him.  “Want me to leave you alone for a while?”


“No, you don't have to.”


Okay, this conversation is way to serious for my tastes.  It’s time to turn on the old Janson charm.  “Want me to grovel some more?”


“You haven't really done any.”


Ha! I saw those lips twitch Hobbie; you can’t hide it from me. “Hmmm....good point. What kind would you prefer?”  I can just feel that trademark grin curling my mouth. “Do you want the actual physical prone on the ground kind, the licking of the boots sort, or the slave for a week kind?”


“They kind of go together, don't you think?”


Uh oh, I could be in trouble here. “I was rather afraid you'd say that” And now he’s got that little bit of a grin going on.  I’m definitely in trouble here. “So what abject humiliation are you putting me through first?”


“First, I think we should get off the X-Wing.”


“Done." And so I hop off the edge of the s-foil and land lightly on the ground.  Yes, I am showing off, it’s what I do.  I look back just in time to see him shake his head and do the exact same thing, landing next to me and then handing me his cleaning supplies.  What does he expect me to do with this stuff?  Shouldn't I have caught you, oh exalted one?” And of course I give him that grin again, cause who can resist that?


“I would have told you to if I thought you ought to” 


Oooooo, he’s getting all dominant on me.  Kinky. “Point taken. Now what?”


 “Now we find you something more suitable to wear.”


Okay, that slow wide grin that just graced his face, it downright scary on him... “umm...oookay.” 


Okay, so now I’m confused and I find myself being led away to be put in who knows what kind of outfit.  Something tells me I could be in for a very long week.  Could be fun though.