YKYRATMW . . .
In the many genres that I'm involved in on the web, I've always seen "You Know You Read/Watch/Love _fill in the blank_ Too Much When . . ." lists, but there are only a few scattered ones for for Animorphs. Since there are lots of excellent connections between Animorphs and real life, and I have lots of inspiration from my younger brother, (the first one to start buying Animorphs books) I thought it would be a good idea.
Please feel free to contribute: that's how these
lists grow! They'll probably become goofier as time goes by, but that's the fun of it!
You Know You Read Animorphs Too Much When . . .
1. You own every single title written by K.A. Applegate . . .
ANIMORPHS or not. Even the ones in series that she's abandoned --- because K.A. wrote some
of those books . . .
2. You can quote, in under 40 seconds, all the Animorphs series titles, including the ones
that aren't available yet.
3. You tried quoting all the titles in under 40 seconds.
4. You hang out in abandoned construction sites at night, hoping that a U.F.O will land
there.
5. Whenever slightly crazed people claim to have been abducted by aliens, you ask them how
the Skrit Na are doing.
6. When you get your essay about comparisons from literature to everyday society, it is
marked "incomplete", with a teacher's frustrated scribbling: WHAT IS AN
ANIMORPH?
7. You also get points marked off your writing compositions for improper use of the
<> characters.
8. You think your teachers' rules are too strict, and they get the message . . . but only
because you call them Controllers and they don't know what that really means.
9. They get the message because they do know what Controllers are; they learned it
from you!
10. If anyone you know acts suspicious, you tie them up and keep them away from everyone
for three days. After nothing happens, they're free to go.
11. You're on a mini-crusade to convert people to "Anifans" and get
"closet" fans to come out and proudly show their loyalty.
12. Eventually, you get sent to the school guidance counselor. You manage to get them
hooked on Animorphs, too!
13. You've made up your own Animorph, Andalite and Yeerk names for yourself (Julie,
Kahira-Iskillion-Coranth, and Kareis 924, respectively).
14. Your web bookmark list consists entirely of Animorphs links.
15. You're so well-known in Animorphs Internet circles that your screename has become a
metaphor.
16. Your Animorphs website wins awards -- from non-Animorphs related prize-givers.
17. You put your detective skills to with one purpose: locate Katherine Alice Applegate.
There is only one goal: to secure her authentic autograph on a print of her morphing into
a lion.
18. Animorphs characters and situations start popping up in your [non-Animorphs related]
fiction and works, spontaneously.
19. You just don't write non-Animorphs related fiction anymore!
20. The thesis of your "world religion and mythology" essay reads something
along the lines of: "Because of overwhelming similarities of theme and incident in
the stories of various cultures, there is sufficient proof that Andalites and Yeerks have
visited Earth before . . ."
21. When you read the previous listing, you instantly thought "Oh, like the
shapeshifters, (Andalites) or the body-possessing demons, (Yeerks) or the people from
beyond the stars, (anything from Skrit Na to Nesk and Mercora).
23. You read the entire set of Lord of the Rings solely because K.A. Applegate made
a couple of references to it. (It's very good, though . . .) ^_^
24. One boring summer day, you decided to take a dig in the aforementioned abandoned
construction site to see if there's anything there . . .
25. You're horribly disappointed when you rent "Invasion of the Body Snatchers"
but discover it's about pod people, not Yeerks.
26. You treat every animal you come upon, including your pets, with the utmost respect,
just in case . . .
27. Your list of "top women in history," includes Aldrea and Loren.
28. You own every book and every product bearing the Animorphs logo . . . and you're five
years older than the recommended reading level age.
29. Everytime you watch or read sci-fi and see something like aliens that take over
people's minds or bodies, or races which have advanced beyond corporal forms, or
shape-shifters, you're angrily indignant that they have stolen from K.A. Applegate.
30. You're comparing this list to your life to see just how obsessed you are.
31. People you have never talked to before on message boards know who you are and hail you
as an Animorphs expert.
32. You jump whenever someone mentions someone with the last name of Chee.
33. When your teacher asks you to list all the great works of literature you've read and
enjoyed, you promptly come up with a list of your favorite Animorphs books.
34. You and your Animorph fan stage a debate concerning Rachel and Tobias's relationship
in front of the whole school for an English project.
35. Because of all the information you've given all your schoolmates, they all understand
the debate perfectly.
36. You say "This is insane" everytime something is even slightly weird and/or
dumb.
37. You're at least five years above the recommended reading level for Animorphs and find
yourself defending it to an eight-year-old who claims it's stupid.
38. You read over the previous number again and thought "Hey that happened to me last
week . . ."
39. In reference to #38, you're screaming WHAT THE HECK'S WRONG WITH THAT?
40. You manage to write a ten-page, college essay on one of the Animorphs books, which
your Honors English teacher is so impressed with you get an A on it despite the material
being a bit too easy.
41. You've also started including Animorphs examples in philosophical discussions.
42. In addition to "This is insane" you have started saying "Let's do
it," and playing with the phonetics of words, just to see what kind of reaction
you'll get.
43. You truly, honestly, sincerely believe that you are an Animorph or Andalite nothlit
who has simply lost their memory (a la Rachel in Megamorphs #1), yet all psychological
tests indicate perfect mental health.
44. Ah . . . not so perfect anymore!
45. You've already ordered both of the Everworld books -- you have absolutely no idea what
they're about, but they just have to be good!
46. You also start reading every Harlequin Romance book you can get your hands on, after
hearing that K.A. wrote one or two under a pseudonym.
47. When half-listening to the lyrics of your favorite songs, you swear you can make out
words like "Andalite," "Yeerk," "morph" and
"Chee."
48. You're constantly thinking of new YKYRATMW's and sending them in to Julie (hint, hint . . .)
49. You're studying Greek mythology and start drawing connections from
Animorphs, like comparing the Andalites and the Yeerks to the Greeks and the Trojans in The
Iliad.
50. You ask your teacher if you can use Animorphs to make comparisons in your
report.
51. You actually convince him/her to let you do it.
52. You suddenly realize that things like going into the ocean as squids to protect
a race of androids who normally go around as humans, but their holograms have
malfunctioned just don't seem that impressive or weird or cool anymore.
53. Your teacher is rather concerned because you can't seem to engage in any form
of written debate or discussion (essays, reports, etc). without making at least five
references to something Animorphs related.
54. You use the iron-on decals from some of the early books and put it on a shirt
and actually wear it to school.
55. You also make your own bumper stickers with messages such as "I brake for
Andalites," pro- and con- Yeerk logos and "Who elected Visser Three?"
56. You're just reading a regular, non-Animorphs book when you swear you see the
words "Andalite," "morph," "Pemalite," etc, and have to
re-read the passage eight times before you realize what it really was.
57. You read the one above and said "What, why would I be reading a book that
wasn't Animorphs?"
58. You are arrested for shooting a bird in a state park -- you saw a Swainson's
hawk and just couldn't help yourself.
59. If there's anyone at your school named Jake, Rachel, Cassie, or Marco, or even
someone like David, Phillip or Erek (Eric) you constantly pester them, saying you
"know their secret."
60. You watch the X-Files faithfully, just waiting for the episode where they find
evidence that "The Yeerks are among us . . ."
61. You are extremely suspicious of your vice-principal and refuse to talk to
him/her.
62. When you like someone but they refuse to talk to you or get very nervous (as in
the bad-nervous) you reason that he/she must be an alien in human form. Now to decide what
kind of alien in human form.
63. Some people play sick by groaning and making their thermometers too hot. You
play sick by acting incoherent and playing with phonetics and screaming "DEE!
DEE!"
64. When seeing flicks like Independence Day, you immediatly draw connections
between them and Animorphs.
65. You find yourself, in talking about one of the really good Animorphs books,
using the word "genius" more than once in the same sentence.
66. You cried when ____ and ____ died in MM3. (Sorry, wouldn't want to give away
spoilers!) ^_^
67. If you don't have a mom around you know where she really is . . . and
if she is around, you're prepared for a fake death any time now . . .
68. You hear that an Animorphs game is coming out on Playstation. You don't have a
Playstation, have never played on in your life, and even have a N64, but you still beg
your parents to get you a PS.
69. You're seing the previews for the Austin Powers movie, see Doctor Evil and
think "Whoo, Visser Three!"
70. During the whole duration of watching Star Wars -- Episode I: The Phantom
Menace, you can't help but think that it would have been a whole lot cooler if they had
had to go to the Taxxon homeworld and fight in the Taxxon Rebellion.
71. You have strange metaphorical dreams about Animorphs, like one in which the
AniTV actors are going around burning Animorphs books.
72. You refuse to sign up for the V3 service because you know what V3
stands for!!
73. You convince your parents to go for a long family vacation in Annapolis because
of an article on the Animorph's location on the Animorphs Central Intelligence Page.
74. Whenever people ask your name, if your name is (eg) Jason, you say "My
name is Jason. Just Jason. You know the drill."
75. You have an Animorphs webpage.
76. You have an Animorphs webpage and it is your pride and joy!
77. You try to aquire your pets and are dissapointed when you can't morph them.
78. Incidentally, your pets have names like Homer, Fluffer McKitty, Magilla, Spawn
and Megadeth, depending on the animal.
79. Your pets will not go near you anymore.
80. You try to morph whenever you feel threatened -- then blame it on the fact that
you were just nervous and couldn't properly concentrate when you can't.
81. When you see the Fruit Loops commerical for the "wolfman" toucan,
(where for a while all you see are blue fuzzy arms) you think it's an AniTV Andalite.
82. Every Sunday evening at around the hour of 8:00 you're sitting in front of the
television laughing your head off. And you're not watching The Simpsons, either.
83. You subscribe to the Disney Channel just so you can watch the episode of So
Weird guest starring Nadia Nascimento -- and you don't even like AniTV and think
she's horrible as Cassie (she actually did give a great performance as
"Rebecca," and that was a great ep of SW).
84. You cross-examine the words and actions of all your family members, friends,
and teachers to see if they might be Controllers, even though you know it's not
real.
85. You're now a loyal Everworld fan, but you can't stop drawing similarities
between the two series and the two sets of characters . . .
86. After all this Animorphs-obsessing, your parents finally decided it's off for a
nice trip to the psychiatrist.
87. On the Roashock (ink blot) test, your replies to images are: A pool ship, two
Andalites fighting, the morphing cube, Tobias, the Ellimist . . .