Ashton and I were married forever, or so it seems. Yet forever was not long enough. We were soul mates. We lived and breathed each other. We were not an extension of each other, we were each other. Our thoughts combined. Our words combined. Our hearts were one.

Ashton was the gentlest of human beings. He adored life. He adored people. He adored animals. I truly believe he was an angel on earth. He spent his life helping others and animals, never asking for anything in return. People were drawn to him; they wanted to be near him -- to experience his laugh, his grin, and his love and friendship. But I was the lucky one. I am the one who lived with him -- experienced his love every day.

Ashton died suddenly on October 26, 2000. A month after his birthday. There was nothing I could do except fall to my knees in a small hospital chapel and pray, while they tried to help him in the emergency room. I remember wailing when they told me he was gone. It wasn't true. It wasn't real. I had fed him dinner two hours before. He had been hungry. He had been well. He had walked onto the deck to watch the stars. But now he was there with the stars, and I was left on earth.

I held open my arms believing I would feel him enter my waiting embrace... but that wouldn't come until later.