This is the most painful poem I've written so far. I wrote it after reading some entries from one of my old friends' online journals. It reads awkwardly because I rhymed it, but didn't match the number of syllables in each line. However, it's powerful, from what I can tell. It's a teenage angst poem in a way, even though I'm almost out of my teenage years.

"I'm Still Here" (#6)
In those small fragments of your life that I can see,
I don't see anything to do with me.
Maybe I just desperately hoped that I wasn't forgotten,
and that my longing for you wasn't misbegotten.
In thinking of my old friends who deserted me,
you'd think that I'd just be angry,
but instead I'm just empty and desperate
for those impenitent friends that I can't forget.
It's like I was never there the way you stuck to each other
and were so ready to dismiss me for another.
You have no idea how much I loved you
even while bleeding from the pain you banished me to.
I've learned from others that you guys are still happy,
and about all the growing up you're doing without me.
And how responsible - your mothers would approve.
But I'm still here, unable to move.
In the times that I was in the most distress,
you made me a victim of your capriciousness,
and to me another word was never spoken
as you left me here - insane and broken.
I don't know if I'll ever trust again,
now that my best years are being lost to my pain.
I hope you're happy, and I wish you well,
but fuck you all, and go to hell.

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