"lunch at the café"
she feeds him grapes
in front of the fromagerie--
she smiles as if she
sees my pain, past my
indifferent frown--the
perfect grooves of her
hipbones graze his leg--
i look down at my papers
and scrape my shoe along
the sidewalk--write
something down about
"fruitless jealousy"--
pretend like i don't wish
i was just like her--
she laughs like a bell--
ringing in my ears--
"try a little bit harder,"
i write--but i'm not
sure what i mean--
sip my evian--savor
my croissant--not
sure when i'll eat again--
they walk away--her
arm lightly around his
waist--floating with
untouchable grace--"it's
still ringing in my ears"--
i drink my tears--
swallow my sorrow--
i'm not one to become
despondent over small
things--but the girl was
a manifestation of all
that is wrong with my
life--all the hurtful
things i say to myself--
i breathe in the fresh
air--wondering why i
thought this would be
better.

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